SIGNS O THE TIMES

OMG

I don't mean to be a bumout, but this is truly awful.

And this is just plain horrific.

I don't really know how to fathom all this. I'm going to say a prayer for these people, find some money to donate, and hope for the best for the new year.

MMMBOP

I was going through my files today and found this photo from about a year ago. I was never a big fan cause when they hit big I was only able to hear sounds in the frequencey of Smiths. But since I like men with girlish faces, I've always thought Taylor was pretty hot, and from what i remember of this day, he remained hot... and girlish. The little one giving me a chokehold was being totally antagonistic, and the oldest one, Isaaaaac, was really nice and liked Interpol a lot. Anyway, I have no reason to share this other than the fact that i thought it was pretty funny.

Also, my friend Costa sent me a link to a song cause he thought I might like it and now I can't stop listening to it. So right click/save as and give it a whirl. Oh, they're called The Spinto Band... I haven't looked at their site yet... just got the link.

NOAH'S ARK?

I wonder if there's anyway for scientists to figure out a way to study the activities of animals so they can better prepare for natural disaters like the Tsumani (that is, of course, if they're not already). This article is fascinating:

Where Are All the Dead Animals?
Wed Dec 29,10:19 AM ET
COLOMBO (Reuters) - Sri Lankan wildlife officials are stunned -- the worst tsunami in memory has killed around 22,000 people along the Indian Ocean island's coast, but they can't find any dead animals.

On a whole nother note, I've been telling people that i got the same feeling with the oohlas as I did when I first heard Interpol, the Killers, and Muse. I can't wait to send these singles out cause balls are gonna blow, things are gonna explode...etc. The songs on my EP are different than the ones on their myspace page, but you should check those out as well. And if you manage to find their song "the rapid" on a downloading service, download it immediately. A friend of mine just spent 10 minutes telling me how much he is blown away by that song.

SO MUCH EMO. SO LITTLE TIME.

I'm opening my mail today, finally, and find myself drowning in CDs. Tons of it is emo, which is ok. I love emo. If i were to describe my personal style at the moment, it'd be emopostpunkgoth. This is if i were in a bin at my favorite store, Hot Topic.

Anyway, it's come to my realization that My Chemical Romance raised the bar of emo for the rest of time. If you're in an emo band and you're interested in being good, listen to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, and figure out a way to sound better than that.

I know that emo is like a four letter word. I dont care. You all know what I'm talking about when i say emo, right? So that's why i'm using it.

NEON BALLROOM

Um... Total buzz: Daniel Johns from Silverchair is hot. Could he be the new Federline? Developing.

GOD BLESS THE INTERNET

First it's hot pieces of ass, now it's this.

Thank you Mikey.

EDIT: My Brother sent me the original video. It's by a band called Ozone from Romania. He said he heard someone DJ it at Misshapes, which makes sense, since the song made me Gay. The video made me gayer (as if that's possible!).

AND NOW A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES

I'll take Mr. January through December.

Does anyone have MP3s of that band Gene that they can hook me up with? thanks, yo.

OK. it's 4:37 now. it's time for me to get to sleep. goodnight.

FOR THOSE ASKING ABOUT THE MISSHAPES PARTY

the phone number on the flyer is a fax machine, the real # is 212-519-6677

WOOD: CANADIAN ROCK STAR?

Elijah Wood and his sister went shopping the other day and revealed that they were actually Deryk & Avril. Revealed! Developing! Etc.

Also, a friend of mine sent me the following email that makes any of my NYC misadventures seem tame:

flew into vail wednessday. got picked up in a car and made the trek to aspen. the most gorgeous hour and half drive ever. got to the sky hotel and crashed. woke up and met the fam for dinner. went out after dinner. the fam left early and i continued on. i met a guy from orange county. he used to move coke by the keys. he gave me more shit then i knew what to do with. so much so that i think i threw away much of it. crawled into bed around 5.

thursday. shopped a little. went to some after ski lounges. peeped on the hottest women i have ever seen. and coming from orange county thats a bold fucking statement. went out to dinner. the guy i met the night before took me out to the clubs/bars to get a real tast of aspen and all the beautiful women that live there. hit up 4 different clubs/bars. the fucker kept giving me more blow again. dont remember much from this night.

friday. turned phone off to avoid temptation. more shopping. saw celebs everywhere. went to dinner. back to the hotel to sleep.

saturday. the big day. boarded ajax mountain. went to christmas dinner at the st regis hotel. then went back to my hotel to try to get into a party that was thrown by will smith and mariah carey. saw usher. while waiting to get in i met the HOTTEST fucking girl ever. i was ordering drinks and i saw her and like a bitch i walked away without saying a word. while talking to my mom she walked by me and threw the biggest smile my way. i knew then i had to talk to her. she opened her mouth and i fell in love. she was an aussie with black hair tan skin and spoke with an english accent because she lived in london for a few years. i finally got into the party and took her with me. met a bunch of people inside. saw carson from queer eye and fucking ryan seacrest. those were the only two assholes that stand out like soar thumbs. i suck at recognizing people. went to some more bars with emma my love, my sister, and some other cool peeps i met. while waiting for the girls to barter our way into a club the dealer popped out. immediately we were all let in. he filled my pockets full of more christmas snow. i met a cougar inside another bar. she asked me what i did and i said i was a ski intructor. she gave me her number for private lessons and anything else i could offer her privately. went back to my place for the after party around 4 with a bunch of drunks. never slept.

sunday. went straight to some ranch to go snowmobiling. saw more amazing scenery. got back to the hotel and slept for 20 minutes. woke up. boarded again. went to dinner. ran into carrot top. hit up a couple bars and then called it a trip.

in summation. aspen is beautiful and partys harder then any other place ive been to so far. its filled with beautiful women. the one thing that sucked was falling in love my last night. i cant wait to go back in february. oh and, drugs are bad.

HELP?

Does anyone know of any relief organizations people can donate their time and money to which will help the victims in Asia?

THE CHORNICLES OF AWESOME

Whomever at the New York Post wrote this, Maxine, you're a fucking genius. A genius I say! Now, tell me something, have you been hiding in my closet while I watch Fuse's Daily Download that i Tivo every day or what? Are you like "Hmm... Sarah's rewound the following videos 89 times: Good Charlotte's "I Just Wanna Live," My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not OK," and Muse's "Time is Running Out"...."

Now that that's out of the way, someone please tell me who makes this amazing jacket that Nicole Richie is wearing.

Also, people have been asking me what I'm doing for New Years Eve.... Well, here you go.

A Very Special MisShapes New Years. Featuring Peaches and VIP! I know it's a bit pricey, but there's gonna be some sweet gift bags and i think some free drinks (but dont quote me on that!)

And then I'm heading over to Motherfucker to see The Bravery.

A warning to my friends: I will be drinking on New Years. I'm not an alcoholic, so I have no need to banish alcohol from my life completely. Please feel free to hold back my hair at appropriate times.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I love Christmastime. People are happy and lugging their presents around with huge smiles on their faces anticipating what they'll get in return. It's really quite sweet and at the same time, I'm sort of relieved that I don't celebrate it cause I don't think I could afford it. I applaud those with Christmas bonuses who know how to spend it wisely.

I also enjoy Christmas becuase the Discover Channel is usually running amazing shows about the birth of Jesus and other interesting stories about biblical events (passover/easter is another great time to watch the discover/history channel). It's also a fun time of the year to go to the movies with your non-christmas celebrating friends and eat chinese food. This is actually a custom referred to as a Jewish Christmas... however, I've noticed that the goyim have joined in on this custom. That's fine.

I skipped out from normal Christmas Eve activity to spend time at my parent's house. I dyed my hair. My hair, she is black. Now I look like Ashlee Simpson again. I'm like me, circa summer 2003. My mom is gonna have a cow when she wakes up and she's gonna make me wash my hair with detergent so it's not such a harsh black. NOT THIS TIME MOM! I'M AN ADULT NOW!

Also, I've rediscoverd Pleasure Club and I suggest you give them a listen. They're along the same lines as LouisXIV, if LXIV came from New Orlenes and practice black magic and voodoo. I remember seeing PC live once and I'd never seen eyes more haunted than the singer's. Enjoy. NP: Here Comes The Trick.

I'd like to wish everyone a happy and healthy Christmas by sharing this photo with you. It's my friend, Hardcore Dave's brother's pug. I call him Monkey:

YES, I LIKE LINKIN PARK. WHAT? WHAT?

And it looks like Josh Groban does too... well, enough to cover "My December." (right click, save as)

CHICKEN, MEET THE EGG

I found this photo of the Olsen twins on MySpace and was totally fucking stoked.


And then I was looking at my MySpace photos and was shocked by the similarity... Did i say shocked? I mean TOTALLY FUCKIGN STOKED:

I'VE GOT THE BALLERINA BLUES

Tuesday night SPIN had our annual Christmas (Jews are invited too!) Party for staffers. Being on the sober tip, and finding myself breaking the news to the higher ups (much to their dismay... no, i will no longer be your drunken party monkey... i will still be the party monkey tho), I spent the night nursing a seltzer. The seltzer got mixed up in a sea of Gin and Tonics and when I sipped from the wrong straw I winced. Is it possible that I've actually managed to kill ALL desire for alcohol? I don't have any cravings at all. I go out fairly regularly, and I've had more drink offers than I could ever remember, and have managed to feel absolutely no pressure to drink. None.

This sobriety made my trip to LA last week all the more tolerable. Previously I would be bummed out about not being able to drink since I'd have to drive. Or bummed that I had to rely on a designated driver to get around, but this time around I was the DD. I was the one behind the wheels. Those wheels in question belonged to a white pick up truck that my friend dubbed "The Lesbian Truck." Sexy.

Now that I don't drink, I suddenly want to dress better. For the past year or two, I guess since the Strokes made it fashionable to wear tshirts and jeans, I've been dressing like I could care less. I mean, there's another reason other than what's fashionable... I'm very lazy sometimes. But The Vicar, who has dealt with my clothing indifference for the past 3 or so months, has had enough and is trying to reign me in fashion-wise. Slowly, but surely, I'll be dressing like I used to when I was a youth. The other day we spent about an hour talking about how awesome wearing white was. When I told him "I'm confused, a few months ago you pointed out a guy wearing all white and said it looked bad and dated... so it's not?" He said "I said that? I'd like to go back in time and tell the guy he's got style." Like two gay men, we sit and talk about shit like this.

I just hate looking like I've made an effort... which sounds retarded. But I wake up in the morning, climb into the same pair of pants i've been wearing for the past 2 weeks and grab whatever shirt smells the least. It stems from this one time when i was 13 and went over to this boy's house that I liked... his sister told my brother that i had come all dolled up. I thought I looked cute and was proud of the outfit I put together. But my bro passed the comment on to me and I felt embarrassed, and since then, I've made LITTLE effort with whatever I've worn, unless it was a shirt I made or something. But rarely do I plan an entire outfit. Rarely do I want to look like I've made the slightest effort to look good. This is incredibly stupid of me. I love fashion. I went to the Fashion Institute of Technology for goodness sakes. I need to stop suppressing my eagerness to make an "outfit" out of clothes. I've been looking at the Misshapes Gallery for inspiration. It's been inspiring. I'm inspired.

I made a positive step forward while I was in LA last week and finally got my haircut. I previously attempted to get it cut back in June (? i think ?), but the hair dresser charged me a retarded amount of money and didnt even take off my split ends. Amy highly recommended her Swedish friend Nicholas from the band Last Amanda (whose band I coincidentally once posted a photo of on this blog and said "they look swedish"... turns out i was right. weird). Naturally, I was a little worried about getting my haricut by someone I didn't know, and who had no professional training, but I decided to take a risk already. My hair was out of shape, and there wasn't really anywhere else to go but up. So Amy arranged for Nicholas to come over to her house after the Revolution Smile show. I met Nicholas at the show and assured me that he was pacing his drinking that night (since he'd be cutting my hair with a razor). I urged him to get drunk. I saw the haircut he did on someone else, loved it, and knew I'd be in good hands.

A group of us went back to Amy's and it turned into a drunken make over party sponsored by Del Taco (wayyyyyy better than Taco Bell, btw... mmm... veggie supreme). Nicholas cut my hair in the kitchen while everyone stood around getting drunk, eating burritos and arm wrestling. He went conservative at first, not knowing how i'd feel about it (I gave him a photo of Stacy Dupri from Eisley that I found in Nylon) and then I told him to just do what he wanted. He did a great job and I urged him to shave one of the sides so i could be like Annabel from Bow Wow Wow. I dont have any good photos of my haircut, but I'm totally stoked on it. Especially since I've gotten a ceramic hair straightener ($120... totally worth it, i swear, it's a life changer).

Anyway, last night I went to Lit to meet up with Mat, Colleen, Sarah Wilson, John Davis and Chris, and the Nightmare of You boys that I'm adopting. They're the next Brand New, I think, or will be occupying that place in my heart. Minus the Nightmare boys we headed to the Darkroom (cause it's the new Lit... until Bar Eleven is the new Darkroom). I was reminded that the next Kill Hannah album is gonna sound a lot more like their old stuff, which makes me really happy cause that's the fucking jam... so I've been on an old school Kill Hannah tip all afternoon.

By the way, I've been getting endlessesly accosted about my brass knuckles necklace. You can buy it here. I personally keep it on hand for times that I need to regulate.

I think this post needs to end ... NOW.

PONDER...

Ever look at a midget and wonder what they'd look like if they were actual size? Me too.

STRANGE REQUEST

Ultragrrrl: what you up to?
battjer: trying to find a girl willing to eat pussy for the first time who will let me write about it (anonymously).
battjer: totally anonymous. the pussies belong to several cute volunteers from which you can take your pick!
battjer: please email brianbattjer@hotmail.com
battjer: had someone and they backed out and i have a thur morning deadline.

I wont do it because, little known fact, vaginas scare the shit out of me.

YAY FOR BROTHERS

If you've ever wondered how i got such thick skin, try having my brother. He rules and turned me onto some great music... but we pretty much fought for about 17 or 18 years until I played him Interpol for the first time, and then we became friends. But every once in a while he likes to put me in my place:

LVLewitinn: btw, you should start a rumor that Brandon Flowers got where he did because he's secretly your twin brother
Ultragrrrl: haha
Ultragrrrl: we really do look alike, right?
LVLewitinn: only in that picture
LVLewitinn: big head
LVLewitinn: like a special person
Ultragrrrl: hahahah
LVLewitinn: HURRAYYYY!!!! I LOVE THE KILLERS!!! HURRAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LVLewitinn: that's you

THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE HERE

Um... I'm getting more obsessed with The Oohlas by the second. None of the songs that are on their site are on the single i'm putting out (the songs that will be on there are "gone," "cuhenga shuffle," and "slo-mo disco and refuse"), but the songs on their site are really great. Listen to them. I'm also gonna start dressing like Ollie i think.

WE'RE TALKING TO YOU, MISTER!

Lindsay is very intercontinental. She knows how to say "fuck off" in two languages, at least.

Here she is doing it in New English:



And here she is doing it in Old English:



Maybe she learned something from me and Coldplay while reading SPIN a few years ago:

BUT HEY, WHO'S ON TRIAL?

The new Interpol video for "Evil" is so bad, that it's good. It's like, someone needs to stop making decisions while stoned out of their mind cause I dont know if everyone is gonna love it as much as I do.

I know that in like, 2 seconds i'm gonna be like "this video is fucking genius." i find the puppet's mouth totally captivating.

Interpol are supposed to be this "serious" band who are nothing but black and macabre and shit, and this video is that, but with a giant puppet playing the part of Paul Banks... I think it's Paul, he's got his lips. And this song is so serious and maybe one of the best songs they've ever written -- not couting the 3 or 4 others on this album that I'd give the same title of that too -- and the fact that they went with this as the video concept is pretty fucking awesome.

Ok, so it's been more than two seconds. Yup, this video is like 2005's "Paranoid Android."

I'd like to suggest you smoke a fat one before watching this.

HELLO. MY NAME IS: VERY GOOD LOOKING


Image taken from Dreamcaps, sent in by Dan of Mighty.

Last night I hung out with some dudes and they were all going gay for Brandon. Straight dudes, mind you, who are in bands, who, at the mention of Brandon's name or the Killers, turn into 13 year old girls.

KarenRTAG: can you believe that video?
KarenRTAG:Ultragrrrl: i told brando that it made my vagina explode.
KarenRTAG: you are so foul with all these vagina explosions

Thank you fo

GOODNESS!

Remember in grade school when you'd get milk during lunch in small cartons and sometimes they were a bit frozen so you had to drink slightly frozen milk? That's what the contents of my boobs are like right now. That's how fucking cold it is outside in NYC. Oh, I long for the sunny warm weather of LA.

Last night I got a text from Hardcore Dave -- he's a manager at Swingers in LA (try their Ahi Tuna sandwich, it's amazing), and I'd been going there a lot while i was out west hoping to spend some time with him and to have a run-in with an Olsen twin -- anyway, while i was tucked away in my freezing cold bed in NYC, his text read "One of the olsen's just came into swingers."

I could've died.

This photo of Kevin Federline makes me feel a bit better:

FINE, BUT DOES HE DO THE PIZZA MAKER?

I'd like to thank The Revolution Smile for introducing me to Santa Mosh. WATCH IT. Especially if your name is Brian.

SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT

Hola Los Angeles Amigos!

The Revolution Smile is performing Saturday night at Spaceland. If you're reading this now, that means, technically, tonight, December 18. The Rev Smile's singer, Shaun Lopez, used to be in Far and he's an all around great guy and I've been sleeping in his studio for the past week. It's very comfortable with wireless internet, a fridge stocked with sugfree redbull, and cable tv. Not to mention all the lovely recording equiptment I've been toying with at 3am writing my soon to be pop sensations.

But in all seriousness, The Revolution Smile are great and the line-up has changed a bit, so it's definitely worth checking out.

THEY ARE APARTMENT

I was dolled up and ready to roll out of the house to meet up with Ollie when she called in sick. So here I am, back where I started, on amy's couch searching the nerd. I went on to the website for my friend's band Apartment and realized that they've got song clips up there. I'd like to suggest you download the track "Patience is Proving." It's the band's least favorite song, but one of my favorites (well, that and this song "People" that they dislike so much that they don't have it available to download... boo!).

LOGIC, PLEASE

Last night I went to my friend Baron's house in the brOC and his bathroom was carpeted. I flipped out. WHO THE FUCK THINKS IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE A CARPETED BATHROOM.

Baron's reasoning "the tiles get really cold," wasnt good enough for me in comparison to me saying "yeah, but fungus grows from the carpet being wet. dude, gross."

If you can tell me a good reason to carpet your bathroom, i'd really appreciate it: slewitinn@spin.com

THE FIRST OF THE GANG TO ...

Yesterday morning I picked up Ollie and we went to the Happiest Place on Earth: Disneyland.

It was surprisingly un-chaotic and we got to ride all the fun rides that we wanted to ride.

We even met famous people like Santa Claus!! Could you believe he was just sitting around, chilling out?



I tried to find Cruella DeVille, but she was being a total bitch and that made me bummed:



The Haunted Mansion became the Nightmare Before Xmas Haunted Mansion, and Ollie, who happens to know a lot of really interesting secrets about Disneyland, pointed out a giant spider on the glass that separated the riders and a ballroom of dancing ghosts. "See that spider?" she said, "years ago a guy came onto this ride with a gun and shot the glass. the glass is part of the entire structure of the building and it'd be too hard to remove and change it so they just put a spider there to cover the hole."

After we rode all the rides we went to the brOC to meet up with our buddies Kris and Baron.

Everyone got way drunk, cept for me, cause I don't drink anymore, and i was driving. Look! I'm sitting next to Kevin Federline!!



Then I drove Baron and Ollie home and we called my friend Rob and Ronnie from the Killers and left them drunk messages of us singing "Midnight Show" and "Mr. Brightside." Sadly, I wasn't drunk, but sung perfectly offkey as if i was.

I'M LOVING (LOS) ANGELS INSTEAD

This morning, after being awaken by my family members who have forgotten that the west coast is three hours behind the east coast, I decided to hop in my white pick-up truck and search for that Starbucks that Amy gave me directions to the day before. I dove around for a while until I decided to just go to the busy street that I take to get to the canyon. I started driving and driving figuring that eventually I'd find a Starbucks. The further I drove, the more run down the stores and houses became until I decided that the chances of a Starbucks being located next to a 99 cent store and a check cashing point was probably not likely. So I turned right, down a random street, so i could return back home.

I got to my first corner and saw a bunch of guys standing in a cluster on the corner. This particular corner was fairly run down and there was a pretty nice car standing still in front of me. The guys looked like they were waiting for either a bus or a drug deal, and since there weren't any bus stops near by, I assumed they were up to no good. I got totally excited. I kept on thinking "This is so awesome. This is totally like out of a movie like 'Boyz in Da Hood' or 'Friday,' cool!" So I took a photo with my sidekick with intentions to send them to my friends back home saying "look! check it out! it's like from one of those movies!" One of the guys standing on the corner saw me waiting for the SUV ahead of me to move and motioned for me to just go around it. I thought to myself "OK, be cool. Nothing is gonna happen to you and besides, you totally left your new ipod at home." So I drove around the corner, and what do you know... they were shooting a movie. Figures.

SMOOOOOSH

The Five O'Clock Heroes are playing on thursday at Bar 13 for the Broadcast party. That's a free party with really great DJs, and the band is really fucking great. My friends saw them in London after they'd been touring, and told me that they liked them more than some other new york band whose name I wont mention. Anyway, the've got this song that i love called "Run to Her"... but my other friends like their other stuff. I'm a purist, i guess.

When I get rich, I'm gonna buy one of these. It's the future.


See, it's all smooshed and likes to go sight seeing. I bet it's listening to Army of Me's "Come Down To DC" (they're playing at the Delancey on Thursday, in NYC).

WE FOUND THE LIGHT!

The Arcade Fire - February 1 - Bowery Ballroom ... on sale now on ticketweb.com

Thank you Dan Marcus!

WE FOUND THE LIGHT!

The Arcade Fire - February 1 - Bowery Ballroom ... on sale now on ticketweb.com

Thank you Dan Marcus!

BY THE WAY...

Lindsay Lohan has some big ass titties.

WE LOOK TO LOS ANGELES FOR THE LANGUAGE WE USE... LONDON IS DEAD

Ah, Viva Morrissey. I'm too much in love with him. He manages to be incredibly British, but at the same time, LA. I think it's the Smiths Vs. Morrissey aspect. The Smiths are about being dark, hopeless, melancholic... much like England. Much like the dark, gray, melancholic England with their carpeted bathrooms (seriously british people, what THE FUCK is up with the carpeted bathrooms? where in your minds did you think "ok, this room is gonna get really wet and soggy constantly from a shower, so let's carpet it and see what grows!" ... or was there no concern cause you don't really shower that much?). Morrissey is melancholic but hopeful. Like, here I am, penniless and talentless, but i'm gonna make it, even if it means mopping these tiled bathrooms of these famous people.

Anyway... My point is that I'm in Los Angeles today. I'll be here for a week. I've rented a giant white truck from Enterprise and I've been driving around from Starbucks to Starbucks, it seems.

Tomorrow night, I'll be DJing at Cinespace and The Oohlas will be playing at around 10:30pm.

Here's the flyer:

DESTINY IS CALLING ME

My computer at work has been acting postivily retarded for the past week. This is why I haven't been able to update for some time -- not until now, when my roommate Niki got home and brought her computer with her.

Has anyone seen the new video for the Killers' "Mr. Brightside"? I have a totally abstract crush on Brandon Flowers, but when I see that video, that abstract crush is a totally full-on crush and my vagina explodes. When I told him this, which i did cause I've got no shame, he was blown away from that term and asked if that was a good thing. Yes, it's a good thing. H-E-A-R-T-T-H-R-O-B.

Anyway, I've put for sale the next stolen transmission single. I wont be able to send these out til after the holidays, unfortunately, but you can buy it now! It's for the oohlas. They'll be playing on tuesday at Cinespace in LA (and I'll be DJing! cause i'm gonna be in LA as of tomorrow for a week), and my vagina explodes for them.

You can also buy both that single and the Louis XIV one for $7 if you buy them together. I only have a few copies of the Louis XIV single left, so hurry up!

Anyway, I've been dying to write about going to DC last weekend.

So friday rolled around, and i took the Chinatown express in NYC to the lovely Chinatown in DC. The ride was boring, as you might expect and I spent the entire time needing to eat and salivating as we drove by all the rest stops. My head was hurting since I only had one redbull that day (as opposed to the normal four i've been rocking while on "The (not so) Healthy (but effective) Diet of Champions" -- which includes four redbulls a day, a 3x shot venti cappuchino, and two lovely Peanutbutter Chocolate Zone bars ... sometimes I get chest pains).

Army of Vintz picked me up and we went to meet up with the Vicar (who was down there as well) at uh... Coyote Ugly. A friend of theirs had to go see someone's band, so we just hung out and I nursed a seltzer water -- despite the Vicar urging me to drink by saying that it's ok, since we were in DC and nobody would know -- and cheered on the bartenders when they hopped on stage and cheered on the cover band that played songs I had forgotten.

Afterwards we went to the Black Cat, which i was told, is the only cool bar to go to in DC. Turns out that Daniel was in town as well, so we had some veggie burgers in their little vegetarian restaurant with the Vic's friend Danny and returned to the RedRoom so I could absorb DC and kill the Vicar by spraying on too much Michael Kors perfume.

Then we went back to Vintz house and chilled out there. I was staying there and ended up going to bed giggling cause we all totally had a sleepover and were making fart jokes the whole night. We're mature, incase you didn't notice.

Saturday came and we went to the HSFest. I ended up going to that because I originally was gonna go to the KROQ almost acoustic xmas, but turns out my little cousin is having a Bar Mitzvah tomorrow, which made that impossible for me. Family first. Everything else second... as much as possible.

So HSFest was the closest i could get to a dream line up that wasnt the KROQ show, which I can't really think about without wanting to cry. It was like the HSF people were like "OK, apart from Muse and Interpol, what bands can we have play that will make Sarah blow a load?" and what they came up with was...
My Chemical Romance, The Killers, Franz Ferdinand, Jimmy Eat World, Keane, Good Charlotte and Velvet Revolver.

MCR were fucking awesome, as usual. Gerard's voice was failing him a bit, but that just meant that he got to sing the songs a bit differently. And Frankie is a fucking dream boat, and Mikey is Mikey -- which is to say that he's awesome.

After their set the Killers showed up and some of the other bands were dying to meet them cause everyone loves the killers (including people voting for the grammys i hope). Brandon is one good looking fella, and so not only were the dudes in other bands stoked to meet their new favorite band, but they were also gossiping about how good looking he was -- in a totally non gay way. People are just kinda endeared by him, cause he's endearing. It's the Morman charm.

Mikey was stoked cause Bob from Franz said hello to him. I told him that he must've been giving him the bassist hello -- which i assume is like a secret handshake. People were stoked to meet other people, and I was stoked cause I got to see a bunch of friends in one place all at once. Plus, there was a huge case of redbull sitting around, and Mikey gave me a meal ticket (literally) so I got to eat, get caffinated, listen to awesome bands, and smile for about 10 hours straight.

The Killers set was amazing. The Vicar and I stood around dancing and singing along and going "oh my god, they're so good." I will be bummed out when I'm bored at one of their shows.

Franz Ferdinand were great, but, and I really hate to be "one of those people," but i miss seeing them in small venues. Or maybe something is missing. There was once this sexual energy between the band members, and their show at SXSW remains one of the best live show experiences of my entire life, but at the show in DC, it just wasnt there. They're all obviously still friends and enjoy each other's company, but maybe they need to do something to add spice to their relationship, like an old married couple.

Mind you, they put on a great show, technically, and I will admit that it was probably mostly my fault that I didn't feel that spark becuase I was standing a bit back and not in the crowd of sweaty kids. I wasn't high. I wasn't drunk. I was sober, and caffinated, and standing with a bunch of people who needed convincing. I should've been up close. I should've been yelling "oh my god, i fucking love you!" But instead, i was standing in the VIP deck trying to get my friends excited. But nobody danced.

Throughout the night, in the backstage area, any time one of the Velvet Revolver guys would walk by, their tour manager or roadie dude, or whatever he is, would walk through the hall first clearing the way -- it didn't matter if you were just someone hanging out, working at the station, or a multiplantinum band member -- if one of the VR guys had to come through, you had to move. And if you didnt move, their road dude would take you by the shoulders and push you up against the wall. It was very Spinal Tap. Everyone just stood around dumbfounded. None of the other members of any other band insisted on such treatment. All the other bands were hanging out and having fun and joking around. So when this happened, several times, we all just stood around laughing our asses off and immitating the VR security. We also apologized that it wasn't 1988/1995 anymore.

Good Charlotte was the last show I stuck around for. I'm sorry, but they're fucking awesome. I know I've been late to the game on this, and there are times when people are like "dude, sarah, seriously, enough about GC on the blog, it's not doing you any favors." but you know what, eff that shit.

I took my two boys, Wyatt and The Vicar, to watch with me. Wyatt is Brandon's best friend from growing up and now tours with the Killers as a roadie, and mostly just a good time maker. I adore Wyatt, as most people who encounter him do. Wyatt and the Vicar PLUS Mikey equals my absolute happiness. So having my two boys there with me, might've been part of the reason why I enjoyed the show so much. Anyway, I really wanted Wyatt to see GC cause the Killers had to leave early, and I thought there might be something to their live show that he could pass on, plus, i just thought it'd be a show he'd enjoy. Well, it was easy to enjoy cause they put on a great fucking show. Everytime one of their new songs would come on, Wyatt would say "is this a new song? it's good." Which proves my point about their new material since Wyatt's taste in music is actually impeccable. At one point Joel ran from the stage and into the bleachers and sang from there. The kids went fucking nuts. The three of us smiled from ear to ear and cheered. Say what you will about the band, but you can't deny their ability to perform and entertain live. Also, they dress awesomely these days. Benji looked like Carlos D from the audience and I often had to do double takes. And I looked out into the crowd from the floor and noticed a kid far far away dressed like Joel... which is sort of a take on being dressed like Brandon, which takes everything full circle.

After their set we were all hanging out when the VR guys make every clear for the 403rd time. Eventually, an hour and a half late, Weiland showed up. As we were all being pushed up against the wall by security, i looked over and realized that i knew the main security/roadie/whatever dude of VR. It was LA Tony! LA Tony used to be the roadie for the Music when they were touring with the Vines about a year or two ago. Me and my friends loved LA Tony cause he was incredibly accomidating to all of us and would always make sure we were taken care of, not to mention, he had the best stories of all time from his days as a road manager. I yelled out "Tony!" and he looked at me and i said "I'm Sarah! I know you through the music. I'm one of Tim V's best friends!" He made the connection (or pretended to) and I wasn't pushed against the wall anymore.

While the band was on stage one of the radio djs came up to Mikey and said "dude, did you hear? You're Duff's favorite band. he really wants to meet you!" So when I saw LA Tony walk by again I called him over and introduced him to Mikey. He flipped out and was totally excited, "You have to stay here and meet Duff. He's dying to meet you!" So we stuck around, but time kept on going on, and I really wanted to shower, so I bid Mikey and Danny farewell and he got to meet Duff. It's kinda funny how these things work sometimes.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. IT'S GLAMOROUS INDIE ROCK AND ROLL FOR ME.

The Killers got nominated for THREE GRAMMYS.

I'm literally tearing up right now.

you can make this your desktop image. it's brandon. he's been nominated for a grammy. no wait, three of them:

IN THE MIDDLE

Looking to score over the holidays? Read this first.

SO HOT

Did anyone see last night's "South Park" with Paris Hilton? It was easily one of the funniest things I've seen on South Park in a long time... maybe even on TV in general. I IMed my friends this morning telling them about it, like "and then, you heard squishy sounds... and he was dressed like a bear!!!" This is all funnier if you've seen it or know what I'm talking about it. Come over tonight to watch "The OC" with the Killers and I'll show you "South Park" afterwards since I DiVo'd it.

Scotty sent this to me, and I laughed cause I love the "Daily Show" and puppies.

Also, everyone is getting retarded for this band called Acceptance. All I know is that their album is coming out on Columbia in April and they're from Seattle... which boggles my mind cause Seattle was like 10 years ago. I listend to one song and it's like Hoobastank meets Maroon5, and yet i sort of LOVE EVERY SECOND of it. It's like OC music.

Scott has pictures of the Federlines with the new puppy, but I've got pictures of them celebrating Brit's birthday. The Brizza looks fucking awesome and my ideal man prototype, Kevin, looks FINE AS FUCK:

IF LOOKS COULD REALLY KILL, THEN MY PROFESSION WOULD BE STARING

I'm not quite sure what's up with me lately. I've found that I listen to about 3 albums when I'm home, or at work, or commuting. They're albums you'd often consider "emo," and I don't know why my gut reaction is to turn to these over turning to, say, the Killers or Interpol. I think i might have to blame my sobriety. I've held back from drinking for over a week (which might not seem like a long time to most, but mind you I went from drinking four drinks a night to four drinks a week to nothing).

So those four albums:
My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge ... Sometimes I'll listen to this album and stop dead in my tracks and listen to parts of it over and over again. A friend of mine joked about the way Gerard extends his vowels when he sings, but in my opinion, they couldn't be extended further. I want more of everything on this album.
Good Charlotte - The Chronicles of Life and Death ... I never liked their old stuff, really, but love their new stuff. I don't think their old fans like their new stuff as much, so I guess it all makes perfect sense.

Brand New - Deja Entendu ... Jesse Lacey is a genius lyricist. I think I listen to this album the most out of anything in my collection these days. Lately, whenever someone calls me to see what I'm up to the answer is typically "cleaning my room and listening to Brand New and getting all emotastic." There's just a brilliant way he has with phrasing things. Piecing together emotions. I'm sure there are others out there that are more genius and more brilliant, but for now, he does it for me.

So it's back to no drinking for me. Responsibility is hitting me like a brick wall and I'm trying to embrace it with sober tenderness and clarity. I guess it's safe to say that I had a ton of years where I partied to eleven, but now it's time to grow up. Not that drinking irresponsibly is immature, not in the least, but for me, right now, waking up in the morning and questioning my actions the night before is no longer what I want to be doing. I found myself running my mouth off to people I wish i had more of a sober encounter with.

It's also been easier to be sober when I've had a non-drinking partner in crime along for the ride. My friend, the Vicar, doesn't drink, so when I'm out with him I manage to find comfort in being able to hold conversations with someone who isn't seeing me in double or professing their punchdrunk love for me. I can drink my seltzer and be surrounded by the inebriated and glance over and see someone that sees the same things I see, and I find ease in that. I've also found comfort in the fact that as a result I've dropped an ten pounds (or more?) in the past month. I don't find a lot of comfort in the fact that I don't fit into any of my jeans anymore and can't really afford new ones. But my mom is stoked that her formerly waifish daughter is returning to form after a five or six year hiatus.

Apart from cleaning my room I've been staying indoors and hibernating. I wish I could say that I've been going to a ton of shows, but I haven't.
There are three bands I've managed to check out when I haven't been holding myself hostage, fearing a slip up of alcohol and lack of sleep:

Army of Me - I first saw them about 4 years ago with exMikey at tiswas when they were called Cactus Patch. I remember vividly having a discussion with Mikey about how we were impressed by the fact that they were actually good (for a while tiswas had a run of the not-so-good bands performing), and I'm sure of this cause I actually signed their mailing list. Well, anyway, four years later and I got to see them again on a saturday night... this time at the Delancey. I'm not sure what happened in those four years, but suddenly they're like the emo darlings. They're like a very early, twangy radiohead, and yet, their audience was packed with kids I would've thought I'd see at like, a Movielife show. There's this one song that The Vicar sent me called "Come Down" that's about visiting DC and crashing a car in a suicide attempt... which I find grossly romantic in a Romeo & Juliet meets the Smiths kind of way. This song is definitely going in my "Songs to Play While Going to DC on a Chinatown Bus To Visit People You Don't Well Enough Yet But Will One Day Know Forever" list in my book (I've decided that all my lists need to have ridiculously long titles. I'm sure my editor will cut them all down, but one can dream). If you've got any songs to recommend for this list, please email me (slewitinn@spin.com)... ideally for this list I want only songs by bands from DC or about DC or the Government.

Kasabian - I got to the show a bit late cause I was probably watching the Apprentice or something. My mistake since the place was so full I couldn't see for shit. I really wasn't expecting the place to be so packed since for the past week I had been telling people I was excited to see Kasabian and nobody know who the fuck I was talking about. Since I'm a midget, i was sucked into the back of the Bowery Ballroom with my posse and therefore couldn't see anything. Instead, we spent the whole time making fun of how British people (who made up a majority of the audience) had foreskin by pulling the sleeves of our sweatshirts over our fists, turning our arms into giant reenactments of what the Vic likes to call a coin purse lint holders.

Saints + Lovers (Formerly, The Sons of Sound) - God fucking bless this band. In about one years time this will be your absolutely favorite band of all time. Equal parts of early U2, current Muse, and the Secret Machines. I spent the whole show either dancing around in a sober waltz or just watching in pure amazement. Mind you the band opened with "Atmosphere" by Joy Division. It was almost as if they were like "Hey Sarah! Did you wear your Depends Adult Under Garments tonight?" Nothing about this band was understated. Everything was over the top in total bombast and beauty and fine tuned greatness.

Alright, so expect more updates than I have been doing lately.

Oh, and I'm gonna be in LA the week of December 12. I'm going to be DJing at Cinespace on December 14 for the Oohlas show (and single release party!). Please come and buy a single and dance with me. Thank you.

KAREN'S NEW BOYFRIEND

Thanks to Jason Roth for sending me this jem.

THE RAINBOW CONNECTION

Oh My Goodness. I'm sitting here at work and literally tearing up because if i started laughing, I dont think i could stop.

Join Me

Thanks to Matthew Hanagan for sending me this.

MMMM! PUPPY PASTA!



I'm gonna write about my weekned later today. I hope everyone had a good holiday/weekend. Mine was spent cleaning my room and not drinking. It's been over a week since my last drink and I'm not even craving booze at all. I went from 4 drinks a night to 4 drinks a week and now none at all. Next I gotta stop smoking and I'll be vice free.

WHAT IT REALLY STANDS FOR

Every couple of weeks my poor buddy, the Vicar, has to hear me complain about the shit I read on the internet. The Vicar has never read a blog (apart from stereogum when we were working on our Halloween costumes), including this one (thankfully), and never understands what the fuck me and my friends are banging on about when we're like "Did you see that funny link on thighswide?" And he certainly doesn't understand why I get so bummed out when I start fretting about what people I've never met (or have met but remain anonymous online) have to say about me.

The other night when I was walking to Max Fish from the Kasabian show (they were great by the way, and perfect for all those latter day Primal Scream fans like myself) with my the exotic ladies and the Vicar and I was moping and the girls and i were kvetching about the criticisims when The Vicar, who was 10 feet ahead of us and growing fed up, turned around and said:
Bring
Love
Online,
Guys.

So with that, i'm bringing nothing but love from now on. Not that I don't normally... but now more than ever.

Starting with this.

SPIN READERS POLL

Hello. Rarely do I suggest SPIN stuff (church and state/shul and state/mosque and state etc)... but this might be fun.

HOLY CRAP

Um... literallyPink Locusts from North Africa Swarm Through Cairo. What other plagues will be happening, you think?

MY NEW FAVORITE BLOG

It's Superficial just like me.

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUCKING GROSS...

So naturally you have to look.

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!

UPDATE: Everyone i sent this link too said it was the most disgusting thing they'd ever seen. The Vicar asked me where i "get this shit"... the answer: from message boards I look at filled with people who have sick brains. I also told him that i was about to gag (which is how i guess you get that stuff in the first place), and he stopped talking to me.

SO MUCH AWESOME

I know this is sort of short notice... but i highly suggest you go to this tonight.

CHANGE YOUR TASTE IN ...

Tonight The Tarts of Plezza are hosting the Melissa Auf De Maur Aufterparty at the Darkroom (Ludlow btw Houston and Stanton). It begins at 11 or 12. There's no list. Karen and I will be pressing play on cd decks that will be playing indie shit you've never heard, pop crap you're embarassed you love (and that will one day get us fired for playing), and everything in between.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but everytime Hail to the Theif or Amnesiac comes on my iTunes I switch it as fast as possible. I really dont like Radiohead anymore... or at least that new album, and i've been avoiding this for far too long. I was OBSESSED with OK Computer and if i were to choose any album that changed my life, it'd be that one: I listened to it once a day for three years, and when i was 17 it solidified my aspirations to work in the music industry. My thought were "You mean, if i worked in the music industry i could go see radiohead all the time and maybe even meet them? get out!"

But Thom's voice on HTTT and Amnesiac is just plain annoying to me and i find them boring musically. When I see their shows live, i'm stoked and think "I take it all back, this is the greatest band of all time!" but then I'm seated at my desk at work and my iTunes shuffles between bands that sound like radiohead (muse) and bands inspired by bands that sound like radiohead (all of emo released post origin of symmetry), and suddenly "Morning Bell" will come on and i cringe. Am I the only one feeling this way? I fully believe that if Radiohead released Absolution, alters would be built in their honor.

Anyway...

This weekend I saw lots of music and worked on the artwork for the new stolen transmission release (this way i can get that shit out to you all right away instead of the huge delay i had with the first one). I'll be posting about the music the release and everything else soon... Until then, I suggest you check out Dirty On Purpose. They opened for the Arcade Fire the other day and were like a combination of Sigur Ros and Godspeed You! Black Emperor. Definitely way better than the Hidden Cameras in my opinion.

GET MOM'ED

Someone sent me this...


We need your help ---

we are doing a fashion 'before and after' story, where we will take
three college guys and 'clean them up' (style them) to look good to
'meet the parents' (of their girlfriends) during the Holidays...

An Esquire magazine fashion editor will take clothes from the guys'
wardrobes, and with a few select new items, polish them up for
Thanksgiving dinner.

college guys must:
-be telegenic and ok with being on tv
-have girlfriends ok with being on tv

in addition, we're looking to also invite the girlfriends' mothers ('the
parents'), who will also be on tv to witness and comment on the
transformations of their daughters' boyfriends

Date of shoot: Nov 23rd
Arrival time at studio: 6am
(Car Service will be arranged)

Please contact me if you have any suggestions.

Thanks!
Mario

Mario Ruiz
Dan Klores Communications
212-981-5156

A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

... Or is it a sign that our hours spent looking at photos of Britney and Kevin on stereogum actually paid off? Justin Timberlake fans seem to think so.

LOOK! IT'S TRANATUKITTY

COMPLICATED BOOBIES

She was a flashing sk8r girl.

OK, now that i gave you guys that... does anyone have a spare ticket to the Arcade Fire show tomorrow at the bowery ballroom?

COMPLICATED BOOBIES

She was a flashing sk8r girl.

OK, now that i gave you guys that... does anyone have a spare ticket to the Arcade Fire show tomorrow at the bowery ballroom?

AFTERPARTIES

Alright, so here's the deal with the afterparties tonight:

The Midtown afterparty is gonna be at the Darkroom.

The Muse afterparty is gonna be at the Delancey and the Exit are playing a set at 1am and Recover are playing at 2am.

WANNA DRINK FOR FREE?

So everyones been all "Hey Tarts! You guys threw such a good CMJ party.... love the idea of live music for free in an intimate setting where the risk of puking is equal in probability to that of getting your teeth kicked in!
Whens the next one?"

Well, in case you hadnt noticed... we've been having parties EVERY Wednesday at Snitch... but its not until TOMORROW that we've chosen to bring back the rock. Thanks to the hot little bottlerockets at ADDVICE, were bringing you the rocknroll trainwreck known as BLOOM (www.longlivebloom.com).

So heres how its gonna go down....

You get to Snitch (21st street and 6th ave) at 11 pm. The doors and the bar are OPEN. Yeah, I know. Free booze. On a Wednesday! How rad!

The Tarts of Pleasure are gonna be DJing, and you all know how that works... we dance, we mix poorly, Karen will most likely fade out of a song too quickly and I will be too busy paying the bathroom attendants to look the other way to notice...

So then once youre all good and drunk by midnight, this crazy motherpackin band is gonna play. Youre gonna rock out and get sweaty and then be all, "Hey Tarts! What do we do now?" The answer is, you drink some more cheap drinks, and dance the night away to the DJ stylings of Mike Goodstein (WFMU), Massimo (East Village Radio) and Ryan (Teenage Kicks). Theyre
really, really good. AND they actually play vinyl! How weird!

So thats it. And then its four o clock in the fuckin morning... each day gets more and more like the last day!

WHERE: Snitch, 21st and 6th
WHEN: tomorrow, Wednesday, November 10th, 11 pm - 4 am
WHAT: the Tarts of Pleasure present... a Stolen Transmission, with live
performance at midnite by Bloom

be there or be shit

FORGET HOWARD

Who is Paris' super fucking hot to trot date? Hubba hubba. He looks like some dude whose ass I pinched at Misshapes over the weekend.

HOLD ON TO YOUR BAGINAS

Charlie and Chocolate Factory movie poster.

Even the Olsen twins are excited!

THE BRIZZA LOOKING HIZZA

Leave it to stereogum to be out sick the day photos appear on the net where Britney actually looks great! And I fully share her sentiments on Kevin.

SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN

I can't remember if the "Growing Pains" theme song came at the end of the "Simpsons" or "Arrested Development," but thanks to having DiVo i listened to it over and over again until I noticed that Lindsay was in the kitchen and probably plugging her ears due to my "tone-deafness." My singing voice is like birds singing... if they were being tortured.

Annoy your coworkers by downloading tons of TV Theme Songs.

EDIT: Rob pointed out that I was wrong about the theme song used. It was actually the "Perfect Strangers" theme songListen to it here.

TWINS

The other day i was being interviewed by someone and one of the questions asked was whether or not i saw a resemblance in me and Brandon Flowers from the Killers. The others getting interviewed with me all laughed because, yes, the resemblance is sometimes uncanny and often joked about in both camps. I once told a boy that I liked him and his response was "not like you like brandon, i see the way you look at him." but really, the way i look at him, and the way he looks at me, is in total narcassistic amazment.

Another boy i've been often compared to is Brian Molko from Placebo. I just opened up some of the packages on my desk and found this DVD called "Once More With Feeling Videos 1996-2004" that they're putting out soon. It's all their videos (and there's another DVD that's coming out that's of live footage) since the beginning. I pressed play on the first video, "36 Degrees" and gasped from the resemblance.

It's funny... nobody really mentions any girls that I look like.

HEROINE ADDICTS

Thanks to everyone who came out to the very first "Tarts of Pleasure Present: HEROINE". I'm sitting at home, totally sweating my head off and dealling with sinus pressure that is making me trip out.

Check out the ladies of Heroine (Add in Melody Nelson with your mind, she had to leave early cause she was sick). More photos from Heroine.

So apparently Arafat might still be alive? Maybe he's dead now? Not totally sure. What's everyone's thought about what might happen as a result?

The OC is on. I'm not sure what I think about it... Mischa's acting has gotten better, so that's a start, and Seth Cohen is cute as fuck, so that's a plus. But something's missing. Maybe it's the lack of hearing Death Cab for Cutie. Right about now would be a great time for the producers to play "Transatlanticism" ... wait... is that a postal service song? I forget.

GOOD THINGS ARE COMING?

According to various news reports, YASSIR ARAFAT IS DEAD. However according to others, he's just braindead. According the the french he's chilling in Cannes and totally fine.

YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

Life will feel so much better when you listen to Johnny Boy's "You Are The Generation That Bought More Shoes and You Get What You Deserve" on repeat over and over again. It's almost like Phil Spektor didn't kill anyone and recorded an awesome girl group song instead.

MORE STUFF TO HELP YOU FORGET

Hey look! It's Avril dressed as a hooters waitress:



Here's more photos of her looking rediculously cute.

And check it, NYC has it's very own party scene shutterbug now.

OH FUCK

SAY NO TO KIDS, DRUGS

Say yes to HEROINE

HEY HEY HEY

You know what makes for a really good movie? Turning a cartoon classic into a live action film! Hopefully Joel Madden's cameo will keep Mush Mouth from saying "Whatsa matta fabba Alba?" Karen thinks he looks fiiiiiiine.

Also, the Vicar and I made the best Federlines ever. Thanks to Scott for his inspiration.

"JUST A ONE FINGER VICTORY SALUTE"



Watch it in full here.

LOOK AT THEM GO! LOOK AT THEM GO!

[i had to take down the animation :(]

Go to iTunes and buy the Arcade Fire's "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" and watch the animation above while listening to it. They go together really well. I'm not stoned right now... but I am on my 3rd sugar free redbull and could really use some more salt in my diet today. I'm attempting a $20 budget today, but redbulls cost $2.50, and we haven't gotten a new shipment at work, and so I spent $7.50 already. Such bullcrap. How expensive is taurine anyway?

This weekend was so much fun. The Vicar and I went to brunch with Brian & Co., whom returned for the weekend for Grant's show that was sadly cancelled at the last minute, and I think the poor Vicar was semi scarred by my friends' sex tales. I believe the phrase "the only way i could top any of them is if i had an orgy with 3 girls, a dog, and a goat... and then maybe, maybe, i'll have topped them."

After lunch we headed to Garden State Mall. Yes, Garden State Mall in Paramus, NJ. Our drive there started out a bit sour cause we were both still a bit sick, but then Vicar popped this cd by Apoptygma Berzerk, which is this Norwegian industrial goth band that he loves. I kept on thinking of this goth dance that he does as a joke to the song "Starsign" that involves capes and shit and laughed the rest of the drive.

I don't think I've head so much fun on a saturday afternoon in ages. I'm sort of obsessed with Hot Topic. If I'm in a mall and there's a HT, i manage to spend about 2 hours there, no matter the size of it. There's just something I love about the store -- the way it smells, the music they play (on this visit it was a mix of tbs, the killers, yyys, and dashboard), and the people who shop there. I combed through every last rack, and after 2 hours, there was still more to explore, but it was getting late and there was an entire mall to sniff through. Naturally, our next stop was Spencer's gifts. We spent another hour in there.

I think I'm gonna try to make it out to the mall at least once a month. If anyone wants to go, let me know and I'll make a carpool using my mom or dad's car.

After walking around the mall for a few hours we picked up Brother Lawrence and drove him to the Bat Cave for his friend's goth show. He was really pissed off at me cause my phone died and he couldn't reach me the whole day and was trying to hitch a ride back into the city. Thankfully, Vicar was in the car and so Brother Larry held back on yelling at me.

Vicar and I went to Misshapes and got to look at Brian's balls. They looked huge to me, probably cause I haven't seen them in ages. It's funny, sometimes you miss the simple things in life, and in this instance, I missed the simple fact that brian will whip his balls out in a moment's notice for no reason at all.

We all stayed at MisShapes until 5:30, sung happy birthday to the gorgeous Geordan, and went home.

Now here are some links for you:

Triumph being political.

Eminem being political.

The secret origin of the Cocteau Twins.

Check out microchips having sex.

Ben Chappel getting political with Errol Morris on Gothamist.

Two hour open bar this wednesday

MOTHERFUCKERS

The new iPod is crazy.

MOTHERFUCKERS

The new iPod is crazy.

EACH NIGHT I BURY MY LOVE AROUND YOU



That was pretty interesting to watch on Saturday night. It made me late for dancing... you know, watching her dance the gig.

People make fun of Paul Banks' lyrics... I love them. I think he's a genius poet, and a terribly underrated wordsmith. But that's just me. I mean, I want my gravestone to say "Say Hello To the Angels" for goodness sakes.

NEWSFLASH

After Vanilla Ice and The Strokes, Karen and I arw gonna turn this joint into a mall punk extravaganza. We'll meet you at the food court. I'm wearing a My Chemical Romance hoodie, she's in a Taking Back Sunday tank top.

WHERE'S THE LOVE?

Karen and I are DJing right now and we're sick... Sick of everyone telling us to play hip hop. We just put on the arcade fire "neighborhood #3 (power out)". People are dancing!!!! Unreal! Next up is the bravery.

WHERE'S THE LOVE?

Karen and I are DJing right now and we're sick... Sick of everyone telling us to play hip hop. We just put on the arcade fire "neighborhood #3 (power out)". People are dancing!!!! Unreal! Next up is the bravery.

THE SEEDS OF LOVE

It's been an exhausting week for me. Between spending every free second getting the Louis XIV cds out, going to work, and DJ at night to make cash so i can afford things, I've hardly had time to sleep, and as a result, i've gotten a bit sick.

I've got all the vitamin C shit on my desk and have been gobbling it up so I can stop coughing and losing my voice and so my throat wont feel like i've swallowed a pine cone. It's not really working too well, which sucks since I'm not only DJing tonight, but also tomorrow night as well. Vicar has a similar problem and informed me that i'll most likely be bedridden for about 2 days.

Tonight The Tarts are DJing at Red & Black in Brooklyn on North 5th, btw bedford and berry. If you're coming from the city, you might want to cab it.

Tomorrow night I'm DJing the Fiasco show at Rothko, which will be a fucking party if I ever saw one. Fiasco is Grant singing (you might know him from Brian's site), and Fatty (also, from Brian's site), and Amanda from Soviet. Their single sounds like David Bowie fronting the BeeGees. The NSFW video is awesome. [THIS SHOW HAS BEEN CANCELLED CAUSE THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH ROTHKO]

I've really been working hard on cutting back on my drinking. For about two weeks a little while ago I went totally dry, thanks to the accidental influence of the Vicar. But eventually my demons got to me and I've gone back to the bottle. It's really awful, but I think that I tend to do that when there's uncertainty in my life. It's probably true for most people with a "drinking problem."

Wednesday night the tarts had our second stolen transmission party. There was that play off game that we had to play nice to, leaving DJ Vicar waiting patiently to he could play the Pixies and Bloc Party and other shit that Karen and I have been imposing on him for the past few weeks. After Vicar, DJ Jazzy James Iha took on the fine roll of getting kids to dance to discotheque. Ruling the airwaves like it was 1992, I was hoping he'd play some Ace of Base, but alas, that didnt happen.
Here are photos.

For the past week Karen has been playing momma goose to Idlewild, and it was so cute to watch them all follow behind her last night at Crobar when she came into the room. Like little duckies, all around the club until she sat them down. It was really nice to see them again. Roddy's been living in NYC for the past week or two, but the rest of the band came down to party and it was like a summer camp reunion.
Here are photos from that night.

Alright. I'm dont posting more. It took me all day to post this cause i'm distracted. There's a styrofoam cup of champagne sitting on my desk. I am gonna drink it.

This photo makes me happy. It's my friend Robbie from Sacremento. He's a totally gorgeous, and despite what most people at crobar thought last night, he and vicar are not life partners.

MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

Ok, the first batch of LouisXIV cds have gone out. Sorry for the delay, but with CMJ and stuff, it's been a bit hard to do everything. I can't wait to hear what you all think of it!

Also, if you're around tonight, go here. Tell the door guy you're there for Misshapes and you get in free... i'm the one listed as a guest did, but it's actually the Tarts of Pleasure (me and karen).

There's gonna be a top shelf alcohol open bar for a while.

TEMPTATION

Do you realize how awesome the soundtrack of Trainspotting is? It's awesome, and I'm not really saying anything new, but I was just reminded of it's awesomeness this morning when I was watching that "Alternative" show on VH1 that I DiVoed. They played Heaven 17's "Temptation" and James' "Laid" (which is my absolute favorite song to DJ). Who knew that the singer of James was so cute!?

I've been exhausted. For the past 3-4 weeks I've had someone staying in my room... for the last week, it's been 5 someone's as I couch surfed between my roommate niki's bed and Karen's futon and other forgiving friends who don't mind the fact that I like to stay up late sometimes. It's been awesome having all these people around, but totally tiring. After a while you forget why you pay tons of money to have a room all to yourself. It's so you can wake up in the morning, turn the tv on loud and prance around your room naked without scaring the beejesus out of anyone.

Wednesday night the Tarts are throwing another party since we're doing a weekly party... you know, so wednesday returns, and so does the party. It works nice that way. There is no list, no cover. So bring your pals. There's also A TWO HOUR OPEN BAR, so bring singles for tips.

This week we're having James Iha DJing. He was in the Smashing Pumpkins and now he's in A Perfect Circle and sometimes I tease him about being in a goth band since he likes to wear pink a lot. He's also Japanese and I like all things Jappy, including my upbringing.

Also joining him is DJ Special Zed, who is awesome and looks like that cute kid from Party of Five (you know, the one that dated jennifer love hewitt) and makes sure i get home safely on shabbat, and DJ Vicar -- the official #1 Tarts of Pleasure Groupie. He keeps us drunk, gives us clothes and carries our gear.

Here's the flyer:


I'm trying my best to remember the past two weeks. It's been as hard as the geometry class i failed twice in high school (well, once, but the second time around the summer school teacher didn't want to risk having me as a student again since I spent the entire time reading SPIN and talking to the black girls since there were no black girls in my school normally, but summer school got kids from all over the county... it was awesome).

Let's try from the beginning...

Oct 4:
Good Charlotte at Webster Hall. Ok, let's make something clear: I like music that most would consider shit. People think they're really making tons of fun of me when they're like "You like Good Charlotte!" when I'm like "Yeah, so? Did you happen to see me on that MTV show declaring my love for Linkin Park?" I have no shame in the bands I like that aren't considered cool, and yeah, GC is one of those bands. In all fairness, I didn't like them before. But a few months ago my office got to go to the GC management office and listen to demos of the album. I went in with open ears cause in fairness, the band wrote some pretty huge hit singles and I wanted to see if it was possible for them to do it again. I was pretty much shocked and wondered if they sold their souls to the devil. The album, to me, sounded like mall punk goodness closer to the Used than anything else. So a couple months later when I was told that I'd have to interview them for something, i popped the cd in my player and have listened to it more than i ever expected. Mind you, apart from the singles, I've never heard a GC album. What's cool is that I got to listen with more of an open mind, and so when I meet others that liked GC and find out that they dont anymore cause they think the new album is shit, i feel like i've been semi-validated in a way i cant figure out. Anyway, Karen and I got super drunk and inebriated at their show (since they dont drink, we figured we'd drink for them). At one point Joel name dropped an AOL chat room. I turned to karen and said "holy shit, did he just name drop an AOL chat room?" she laughed and said yes. I replied "That was ... keyword: awesome." We spent the rest of the show laughing at the random name dropping and looking into the audience of the old men who were scoping out little girls to molest. You can watch the show here.

After the show we, the Tarts, headed to Irving so we could dance around to the Killers. I love those boys. When we're together it's like long lost siblings reuniting, especially for me and Brandon. We stare at each other and I think in our heads we're thinking either: "damn, i make a good looking boy." or "damn, am i glad that i'm a boy instead of a funny looking girl." The Tarts threw an after party for the boys and all the fun indie bands came out and got wasted and Brandon and I introduced ourselves as brother and sister as Barry from Scotland made moves on Brandon... I think he was maybe mistaken. The highlight of the night was DJing C&C Music Factory. No, wait, it was when a couple of DJs gave us money and drugs in exchange for the chance to DJ. Neither Karen nor myself wanted to DJ anymore anyway, so we gladly took the drugs and money and tipped our nice bartender generously... by accident.

Oct 5: Tuesday provided for another Tarts Do Mall Music Adventure. We went to see the Good Charlotte instore at Tower so i could interview the band afterwards. They were super nice and dressed like they were in Interpol.

Speaking of Interpol, once that was done, Karen and I met up with Vicar and went back to Irving to see Gay Interpol. There was a rumor that David Bowie would be there so Brandon was giddy as fuck. As he was fashioning himself in the mirror i turned to him and said "Aw! I feel like a proud mom! You're like my son." And he pleaded "You mean i dont look like a rockstar?"

The second show was so much better than the first... infact, it was better than any other show i've seen them do. For one thing, they brought out the big guns for Bowie (who showed up... causing brandon to sing pretty much exclusively to the balcony... his excitement is endearing), that included sampling, new sounds, and a breakdown into a Pink Floyd number at end of one of their songs.

After the show we went to SNITCH for what appeared to be Los Angeles Rock Night. Total cheesy crowd. Huey from the Fun Loving Criminals didnt want me to DJ (even though it had been arranged that I would). I didn't want to piss off Huey cause he's huge. Eventually the Killers asked that I be put on the decks, and I dropped some Neil Diamond. The dude from Fuel who is part owner of the club walked by the booth and Vicar said that he gave me a look that would kill. He was pissed. I was having a good time. Buh buh buh buh. Good times never felt so good.

Oct 6:

About a month and a half ago I went to see Franz Ferdinand at Roseland. I love Franz a lot. But the best part of the show was when a woman came up to me and told me that her daughter Jordana was a huge fan of my column and blog. I said "Wow! That's so awesome! How old is she?" She told me that her daughter was in high school and I freaked out... "You gotta stop her from reading my blog! It's bad for her!" but she laughed and said that she also reads it (Hi Amy!). Anyway, I met her son Jonathan (hey dude!) who was adorable and her daughter and was just totally in love with her immediately. She reminded me of a really good friend of mine from high school and just seemed so sweet. So I gave her my email and told her that she's gotta keep in touch. Anyway, I got invited by her 11 year old brother to join the family for his birthday dinner. I immediately accepted the invite and on Oct 6 I joined the family for dinner. More families should be like this one. They're so friendly and sweet and open with each other and they made me feel totally comfortable. And Jordana is so fucking cool... I wanted to steal her iPod since mine is broken and hers had everything mine had and more. It even had the Oohlas, Morningtheft and the Madison Strays. How is she so cool?

Oct 9:
My date book says I didn't do anything until Oct 9th, and so I'm sticking with that. Imran was in town and so we went to Kates for lunch and he went yarn shopping with me so I could knit a scarf for a friend, meanwhile he was getting text messages from his hometown of London from friends talking about drug outings that just occurred. Yarn Shopping Vs. Doing Coke in a bathroom... which is more rock and roll, you tell me.

We met up with Miss Modernage in the park who was telling us about running into Ryan Adams and how she wanted to deck him or steal his bag or something. And then I went home so I could tidy up a bit before Apartment and their manager showed up the following day. Later that night we went to see Morrissey and I ended up coming about 3023 times in an hour. The man played as many Smiths songs as Morrissey ones... and they were all my favorite ones!

Then we went to Misshapes since that's what you do on a saturday night. Here are photos from that.

Oct 10: (I'm almost done with this update! Yay!)
Interpol played a secret show and Apartment showed up on my doorstep. I was exhausted and hungover and needed to finish up some art work so GregtheBoyfriend came and got them and took them out. In return I sold Greg the extra Interpol ticket I had. I danced like a spaz as the band played the songs that made me cry and the songs that saved my life... Then the Tarts went to DJ the show's afterparty. We're available for weddings and Bar/Bat Miztvahs too, you know, not just afterparties. And we bring a Vicar with us!

Oct 11: Went to see Napoleon Dynamite for the third time with Niki, Imran, and Apartment. Knitted.

Oct 12: DJed a show that Vicious put on that was called "A Concert for Change." I dont know what they wanted to be changed... so i changed my underwear just in case that was the change they were looking for. I knitted some more, while DJing, and by the time all that was done, I'd missed The Five O'Clock Heroes and went up to the Syndicate party to see Murder By Death instead. They're awesome, but I'm short and so I could only hear how awesome they were and see how awesome the tips of their heads were. This guy that I talk to on AIM came up and introduced himself to me. The next day he commented on my harem. I'm actually disappointed by how small it's been lately, so i'm taking applicant for more boys. After the show I went to the Darkroom with the Vicar, since that's what the hipsters do. I got to send off Antony of the Heroes since he was packing up to go to Europe for a month in hopes of meeting a sugar momma that would give him lots of money that he could use to shower me in gifts and lavish vacations and give me the wedding I want, but don't necessarily deserve.

Oct 13: THE TARTS OF PLEASURE PRESENTED... STOLEN TRANSMISSION.
Whoa. What a fucking night. We'd been stressing about this for quite a while, making sure we had all the gear needed and the the visas and all that shit. We were sure the whole thing would be a total disaster, but it actually went without a problem (save for Apartment's guitar pedals totally exploding or something). This was Aparment's first ever gig in NYC and besides the fact that they sounded wonderful and had the passion in them to put on a great show, but David, the singer, is really good looking. I know this cause the whole night straight dudes kept on coming up to me saying "Wow. That guy from Apartment is like, ridiculously good looking." The Madison Strays played second and while it wasn't their strongest ever show, it was still quite good and I'm impressed with them. The Bravery played last and they sort of remind me of INXS a bit more than the Killers now. The bassist is super hot with amazingly complicated eye make up. At one point during the show he got off stage and started dancing with me. Then he fell into my arms. We're gonna get married as soon as I can remember his name. So many weddings... so little time. Anyway, here are photos from the night... hopefully this will work. The photos suck cause i'm bad at taking crowd shots. Anyone wanna do that for us?

Oct 14:
I went home to eat dinner before going to see the Music and Hopes of the State, however, my roommate Niki found me asleep on the floor of my room at 1:30am. I had passed out.

Oct 15:
Went home for shabbat dinner and then headed back into the city with my mom's sweet ride. I picked up Elhaam and her friend and took them driving around Brooklyn so they could run errands and then picked up the Vicar and went to the Darkroom to meet up with Imran and Apartment and Karen. Then we went to the Jane Magazine Addvice party. Waited in line for a LONG time and eventually got let in only to get thrown out about 2 hours later when the cops raided the place. But it was open bar, so who can complain? Here are more photos.

Oct 16:
(my brain is nearly broken now) I spent all of Saturday playing "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" by the Arcade Fire over and over again while driving. I drove from Karen's house to Englewood, NJ for my dentist appointment in about 20 minutes and listened to nothing but this song. And then I drove from the dentist to target and played it on repeat some more. This song is perfect fast driving music. The roads fly by and it's fun to yell out "Jesus Christ i'm getting pissed!"

I went to see Apartment at the Delancey and then the Vicar and I tried to see Tegan and Sara at the Bowery, but we missed them, so we went uptown to see Giant Drag at Plaid. Giant Drag is awesome and Annie, the singer, is not only hot but a total comedian as well. She's something totally different from anything else... and I can't stress enough: go see them if you can. Then we went to my friend Pauline's wedding so I could DJ it. I love DJing weddings. I shit you not. I love it. If my wedding DJ career ever takes off, I'm leaving my current job behind. Then we went to Misshapes and danced.

Oct 17:
I spent sunday night recovering as much as I can... which meant watching movies and kind of just staring into space and having acid flashbacks. Apartment totally cleaned my uh... apartment. They left it looking nicer than I left it for them. I love them and want them to come back as soon as possible. I then took Niki to see Giant Drag and she was in total awe cause they're awesome. We returned home and once again, i passed out prematurely, but this time on my couch. I think it was about 10pm when I did this.

OK, if you got this far, you should Watch This and read this.

GET THE ARCADE FIRE ALBUM

... RIGHT NOW.

Seriously. This album is making my pants so happy at the moment. I'm a happy person, but at the moment, I couldn't be any happier and I'm pretty sure that it's thanks to their album Funeral. I couldn't even begin to tell you what they sound like cause my music knowledge isn't that diverse. But I guess maybe a bit of Talking Heads, Murder by Death, Clinic, Death Cab for Cutie, thrown into a morbid carnival.

UPDATE FORTHCOMING...

Until then, please enjoy these photos that probably caused God to pat himself on the back and say to himself "Well done, God. Well done."

I've been really busy, but hopefully I'll get to write about the last two weeks as best as I can. I saw Killers twice. Good Charlotte twice (this is the anthem, throw all your hands up). Had dinner in morning side heights with an awesome family. Saw Moz. Saw Interpol. Inherited about 30 british boys. Saw another show. Threw another party. And woke up at 1:30 am on the floor of my bedroom last night. Fun times!

THE BOY WHO BLOCKED HIS OWN SHOT

I am still obsessed with the Brand New record that isn't quite brand new. I've been trying to get my friends to listen to them... and when I mention to my band friends how much I love the band they usually answer with "The record is amazing, but the band is not too nice." Not sure why. Not sure that I care to be honest.

The offices here are so hot and stuffy. I'm growing dizzier and more irritable by the minute. I wanted to write about my week, about my weekend. About seeing Morrissey on saturday and Interpol on sunday. About having Apartment staying in my apartment and finally lending that helping male hand that's been missing for so long.

But i'm about to pass out. Suffocate. I'll have to update later. Grrr. But before i do, I just want to wish a happy 21st birthday to Aaron Kaczander, my friend Jordan's best bud from back in detroit. Now he can drink and i can have the sex with him if i wanted to and not go to jail. I know the legal age is 18, but boys need to get drunk in order to get near me.

The Five O'Clock Heroes are playing tonight at 9:30 at Mercury Lounge.

I'm DJing a a benefit at Rothko tonight.

Tuesday October 12th, Melody Nelson presents...

CONCERTS FOR CHANGE

11:45 - The Vitamen [ http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/thevitamen/ ]
11:00 - Modernage [ http://www.modernagemusic.net ]
10:15 - The So and So's [ http://www.soandsos.com ]
9:30 - Ben Arthur [ http://www.benarthur.com ]
8:45 - Say Hi to Your Mom [ http://www.sayhitoyourmom.com ]
8:00 - MAGNET (from Norway!) [ http://www.homeofmagnet.com ]

Guest DJ: Ultragrrrl [ http://www.ultragrrrl.com ]

$8 Advance tickets: http://www.concertsforchange.com/kintera_show.php?id=47
$10 day of show :: 21+
Rothko :: 116 Suffolk St. between Rivington and Delancey.