WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• INTRODUCING: DENISOVANS! Ladies and Gents, it looks like there was once up to 4 different kinds of humaniod species roaming the earth -- Neanderthals, Hobbits, modern humans, and now Denisovans! So exciting. It looks like this species existed in southeast Asia and Australia and bred with modern human. I love how the concept of the evolution of man is changing! This is beyond fascinating!
• North Korea's minister of armed forces said on Thursday its military was prepared to wage a "holy war" against the South using its nuclear deterrent after what he called Seoul's attempt to initiate conflict.
• A wave of holiday terrorism has hit Rome. Both the Swiss and Chilean embassies were attacked with parcel bombs. Thankfully nobody was fatally injured.
• Former Argentine dictator, Jorge Videla, has been sentenced to life in prison for crimes he committed against political prisoners in 1976.
• So in addition to the mini-Ice Age upon us, it looks like 2011 is going to have one hell of a hurricane season for the Atlantic coast. I guess right now is a good time for me to make sure my parent's place in Hallendale is prepared!
• Julian Assange is telling US journalists that they should basically be behind him because the people against him are against the First Amendment.
• UNICEF and religious leaders in Indonesia are joining forces to promote breast feeding. Right now, less than 33% of infants are being breast fed in Indonesia ... and scientists have found that breastfeeding is one of the most essential things a month can do for a baby to make sure it's healthy.
• A man in Bangladesh was beaten to death by his four wives, once they discovered he had four wives, which is legal in Bangladesh, but only with consent from the other wives.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Yesterday I posted this article about how a scientist determined that we're about to enter a mini-Ice Age, and now there seems to be another one out there to support this. What's causing this -- apart from the Sun's storm activities -- is a "freak diversion of the jet stream." Does this have something to do with the Sun? The pole changes? Is Earth about to recycle itself? Expect more articles like this to pop up.
• Thank God! Obama signed the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal! In a few short months, gays will be able to serve openly in the military and the government will start to look into how to give partners the same benefits they give married straights.
• State of Emergency is in effect in California following the heavy rains. That pesky jet stream!!!
• South Korea continues to see how much they can provoke the North by bringing on new military drills.
• Police in Philadelphia are on the search for a serial killer who already murdered 3 women by strangulation.
• Water Works employees in Ohio have been charged with stealing water and sewer services by messing with their water meters. While I think it's not cool to steal, I do think that employees of services like that should get free services up to a certain point.
• Italian students are protesting against education reform. The reforms will cut the number of university courses, merge some smaller universities, reduce funding for grants, increase the role of the private sector and limit the duration of rectorships.
• Here's a great article about a new procedure that an opera singer underwent... she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer that had spread all over her body -- 24 tumors overall, many in her brain. Thanks to a new treatment using a chemotherapy treatment called Tarceva and the Elekta Gamma Knife, her tumors were removed and haven't grown back!
• Two Firefighters died and many others were trapped after a wall collapsed during a 3-11 fire in Chicago's southside neighborhood. Strangely, this happened on the 100th Anniversary of the huge fire in Chicago that claimed the lives of 21 Firefighters.
• Obama's spy chief had no idea about the 12 suspected terrorists arrested in Britain this week. In the embarrassing interview with Diane Sawyer, James Clapper went blank when asked about the situation. Chief Counter Terrorism advisor John Brennan claimed that Clapper was too busy focusing on other shit and had no time to worry about terrorist threats that didn't effect us.
• Because of the EU/IMF bailout earlier this year, the Greek government is expected to make even more budget cuts and raise taxes. The Greeks have taken the streets in protest, but not in the numbers you might expect. Many have given up hope.
• Oil has raised to $90/barrel in Asia.
• The government says that the economy rose 2.6% in the 3rd quarter, which was more than previously reported.
• A fowl package -- literally, it was chicken stuffed with shrimp -- held up travels at an airport. Way to go, TSA!
• Indonesian police seized over 2million copies of porn movies in Jakarta. Even the porn industry is hurting these days!
• I'm so confused by this: Apparently a bunch of flights were cancelled in Argentina because flight attendants were protesting a wage increase. What?!?
• Deutsche Bank has agreed to pay the US over $550 Million to resolve some sort of fraud. That should help our economy a little, right?
• This is DISGUSTING. An American who had founded a school in Haiti has been accused of sexually abusing many of the male students and will serve up to 20 years in jail. What a disgusting abuse of power. For shame!

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• An international space team lead by Qatar, discovered a new planet. It's been named Qatar-1b and demonstrates how countries from all over can collaborate to make stellar discoveries.
• China's Huawei -- a telecom solutions provider - will be investing $2 Billion over 5 years in India. Just another piece of business America lost out on.
• Richard Holbrooke, the US Special Representative to Afghanistan and Pakistan, passed away.
• South Korea thinks that North Korea has more uranium sites. SK thinks that NK is working on building a nuclear bomb. There's so much he-said/she-said going on between those two that i feel like I'm watching an episode of Law & Order: Sexy Crimes.
• OOF! Yahoo! is laying off about 600 employees just in time for the holidays. Didn't they just hire a bunch of awesome bloggers for their site? My condolences to all of you. :(
• Apparently someone forgot to give the European Union the memo about the state of Israel. They're laying the pressure down on Israel and Palestine to figure their shit out and live peacefully side by side so they can eventually move forward and recognize Palestine. Focus on Ireland, will ya?
• South Africa just opened its first Space Agency in hopes of becoming Africa's leading Earth observation location. Is there competition?
• Medicaid cuts are killing Americans basically. Can someone please figure out a plan B, please?
• The Sun is FUCKING AWESOME. Check this out. Scientists just observed some crazy massive sun storm that totally will effect our telecommunications AND we're also in the middle of Mercury in Retrograde (that's when communications fail based on astrology... and sorta astronomy). Coincidence? I think not!
• And finally, a Festivus miracle - an inmate cited his belief in the Seinfeld-created holiday of Festivus, as a reason to get Kosher meals in prison. Genius.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Good news for all of you who like bad news: North Korea is saying that South Korea's actions are driving the peninsula to the "brink of war."NK is like that boyfriend that says his girlfriend made him hit her. Obama vowed to defend South Korea if North Korea tries anything more. This has potential to be so fucking shitty for everyone.
• An Indonesian cleric has been jailed for marrying a 12 year old girl. He said he was gonna wait til she hit puberty before banging his bride ... I'm not sure why he couldn't just wait until puberty to marry her. On top of that, he also stated that he was planning on marrying two other girls, aged 7 and 9 (Muslims are allowed up to 4 wives in Indonesia). In case you were wondering, the childbride was delivered back to her parents by cops immediately following the wedding -- not sure why they weren't arrested as well.
• Speaking of child molesting priests, a priest who was accused of molesting a kid managed to prove that he's a super scumbag by hiring a undercover agent as a hitman to kill the kid he molested. Way to be Holy, asshole.
• The 29 miners that were trapped in the New Zealand mine are presumed dead following a second explosion. Why are mines suddenly in the news so much? Have they been this disastrous in the past, or is this a new phenom?
• San Francisco is filled with geniuses: they're regulating their Happy Meals. Now, in order for a McDonalds in SF to offer happy meals with toys, they have to meet certain dietary standards. There's hopes that this will help fight childhood obesity and that other cities will follow suit.
• Fans have been lined up at a Barnes & Nobel in Phoenix since 1am for a Sarah Palin book signing. Mark my words: She is going to run for President in 2012, and she is going to win. Do I want her to? No. But she will. She's doing everything right. She knows that popularity wins and she's working on spinning every aspect of her life to make her popular.
• It looks like things like the interwebs is making insider trading more and more gray.
• Facebook just won the trademark on the word FACE. Face. FACE!?
• SpaceX, the first commercial-based company has been granted permission to have their spacecraft return to earth after leaving it.
• This Sunday "60 Minutes" will be taking an inside look on the new Spiderman musical that Bono wrote. It's the most expensive musical ever and it just so happens to have one of my best friends in it! Mazel Tov, Mat Devine!!!
• Cookie Monster wants to be on SNL. This isn't newsworthy, but I figured that it's a light hearted thing that can be used to change the topic when things get heavy or heated during Thanksgiving dinner.
• Kuwait is looking to ban the use of digital cameras in public by anyone who isn't an accredited journalist.
• In Israel you are required to do about 2 years in the army, no matter what. I've found that this has toughened up a lot of Israeli's that I know and given them a "no bullshit" attitude that can sometimes be seen as abrasive. Obviously, some Israeli citizens have no interest in being in the army -- especially with things being so tense. But, being the industrious people that they are, the Israeli government is now using Facebook to track down draft dodgers. Way to go, Facebook, way to go.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

We are so fucked.

• North Korea struck South Korea overnight. The North claims the South struck first, the South claims otherwise... and basically EVERY SINGLE SUPER POWER NATION IS REALLY FUCKING SCARED (a history of the conflict between North and South is here). People are scared that if the North and South start fighting, it will cause each region's ally to step in and do what ally's do: join in. North Korea's (basically only) ally is China. South Korea's ally is the United States. China and the USA are already comparing dick sizes, and neither country really wants to pull their balls out. Everyone is basically saying that that North is acting like a bunch of assholes. Russia sees this as a "colossal danger" and Obama is "outraged."And the French are like "zoot alors!" and have already surrendered.

  From CNBC: Asked about the North's motives, Pentagon Press Secretary Geoff Morrell said: "I don't know. This is an extremely unpredictable government in Pyongyang and they do things that you could not possibly have predicted in a rational world."

  Meanwhile:

  North Korea threatened to continue "merciless" strikes on South Korea on Tuesday after the communist state launched a deadly artillery attack across their western sea border.

• Speaking of China, looks like they're the leading cause of Greenhouse Gas emissions. Way to go, dudes.
• The death toll for the Cambodian stampede has raised to 345. The stampede occurred at a Water Festival -- a yearly celebration of a military victory which includes boat races and prayer for rain -- and has been considered one of the biggest tragedies to hit the country. A reporter claims that panic struck when a suspension bridge started to say and police started shooting water cannons at a bridge in an effort to get people to move in a certain direction.
• SOME GOOD NEWS!: The UN stated that the world AIDS crisis is starting to slow down! And not only that, but there appears to be a daily pill dosage that helps gay men not catch HIV! It's still undetermined how it will work with heterosexuals, but it's proven to work nicely for the gays! Horay!
• Unfortunately, we're trading one preventable disease for another: looks like half of Americans will have diabetes by 2020. Stay away from high fructose corn syrup, people.
• More TSA bullshit ... it might extend to trains and subways. Meanwhile, people are raising concern about the TSA spreading diseases because they're not changing their latex gloves before each crotch gram. The terrorists have won.