WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

Those who know me know that I LOVE KE$HA. I think of her as the icon for the post-feminist movement, doing more for the advancement of socially equal rights amongst women than any other female icon of the millenium.

However, this news surprises me (only because it shows that others feel like she's awesome in similar ways):

POP SUPERSTAR KE$HA HAS BEEN NAMED AS HUMANE SOCIETY INTERNATIONAL’S FIRST GLOBAL AMBASSADOR

(New York – NY) Pop superstar Ke$ha has been named as Humane Society International’s first Global Ambassador. Her mission is to help HSI promote respect, protection, and compassion for animals around the world.

HSI vice president Kitty Block states, “We believe compassion for animals is a basic human condition that needs to be encouraged and celebrated. Ke$ha, with her passion for animals and international recognition is in a unique position to help us create a worldwide culture of compassion for animals.”

“I am honored to be the first HSI Global Ambassador because my music is inspired by the freedom and primal beauty of animals and the natural world," says Ke$ha. "I take this opportunity incredibly seriously because we are ALL animals. One of the main underlying sentiments of my music is to respect all living creatures just as they are. I believe that together, we can change laws that allow innocent animals to be unjustly mistreated and abused all over the world."

In her first collaboration with HSI, Ke$ha is asking her fans, to join her in signing on to HSI’s Cruelty-Free 2013 petition. The petition is aimed at making sure the EU honors its commitment to ban the sale of all cosmetics tested on animals by 2013, making the EU the world’s first cruelty-free zone. The move would force cosmetics companies around the world, including in theU.S., to stop the ugly business of animal testing or have their products removed from store shelves in the EU. The “Cruelty-Free 2013 petition” is available here: https://secure.humanesociety.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=4543.

Ke$ha is also teaming up with Tickets-for-Charity® on tour to offer fans an exciting new way to help Humane Society International with a special selection of premium concert seats for all North American shows in September! This exciting partnership offers fans and animal-lovers nationwide the opportunity to access fantastic seats in sold out sections to see Ke$ha rock the stage live while also helping HSI protect more animals and continue its vital work fighting animal cruelty, exploitation and neglect. These exclusive tickets are now available at www.ticketsforcharity.com.

A QUICK CONSPIRACY BITE

i've got shit to do so i'm not going to be able to get into all the HAARP-filled conspiracies at this moment. but here's some quickies:

1. according to conspiracy theorists, the earthquake felt here was a "fore-shock"... as in a pre-courser to something bigger that is on it's way.

2. some dude from bank of american told Rick Perry that they'll be supporting him (but apparently, BofA is meant to be going down the shit hole soon: http://youtu.be/40K7p3kZO9c ... what's that have to do with the earthquake and hurricane? HAARP. By bringing disaster to American soil, the USA can finally ask for foreign aid from our friends in China. blah blah blah.

3. AND not to worry you tooooo much, but the Yellowstone Caldera has been gurgling a lot lately... and the earthquake in Colorado was fairly close to it. is it getting ready to burp?

keep this in mind re: the earthquake locations in Colorado and Virginia:

Colorado Quake Location:
37.070°N, 104.700°W

Virginia Quake Location:
37.881°N, 77.952°W

OK.... so that's just some stuff i pulled from around the web. they're not necessarily my feelings or concerns, but i'm just sharing them with you all...

JUST SO YOU KNOW

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

(image courtesy of http://senorgif.memebase.com)

• It appears as though 2010 was among the most deadliest years caused by natural disasters.

  "Some 373 natural disasters claimed the lives of more than 296,800 people last year, affecting nearly 208 million and costing nearly $110 billion, according to annual data compiled by the Center for Research on the Epidemiology of Disasters (CRED) of the Université catholique de Louvain in Belgium, and supported by the UN International Strategy for Disaster Reduction (UNISDR), the UN body charged with helping coordinate efforts to achieve substantive reduction in disaster losses and build resilient nations and communities."

• The terror reigns in Mexico as the drug cartels continue to cause needless murders throughout the country. In Juarez, seven men were assassinated by Mexican drug dealers while playing soccer and appeared to hold not ties to the drug cartels in the northern part of the country.
• Russian President Medvedev chastised the security and management team of the Domodedovo Airport in Russia after a suicide bombing caused the death of approximately 35 people.
• The food industry will be introducing new labeling to let you know how much you should regret eating that cookie.
• Indonesia is jumping onto the crop circle craze about 20 years too late. A crop circle was discovered. Authorities suspect human intervention. Duh.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• I'm back with news. I had my head in the sand for a bit... so all this is news for me!
• Philippine rebels shot and killed 5 police officers including a chief. The ambush came a week after Philippine government and communist rebel negotiators agreed to restart talks on ending the 42-year rural-based insurgency that has killed some 120,000 people.
• A Chinese pianist played an anti-American propaganda song at the White House.
• This winter is looking really really really rough. Get those Northface jackets, or invest in the company, while you can.
• A Seattle activist won a case against the TSA! Horay! In 2009, he was arrested for using a video camera in a public space and failing to show ID.
• Cuba is getting broadband! I went to Cuba in 2008. The hotels had access to the internet, but not many other places did... AND you had to show ID in order to use the 'net. This is kind of a big deal.
• More than 800 people in Rio de Janeiro have tragically died as a result of the flooding that was caused by torrential downpours in the region.
• Sarkozy talks G20 agenda. Main objective: Curb commodity price volatility. He warns that the world risks food riots and weaker growth if leaders fail to act.
• The Pope has bless social networking. Says virtual friends can't replace real ones and warns of parallel existence, depersonalisation, alienation.
• I know that China has a bagillion more people than the United States, but it still seems odd that they'd out sell the US in sales of General Motors vehicles. They have. We lose.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• APOCALYPSE UPDATE: Everyone wants to know my take on the following:

Thousands of Black Birds falling from the sky in Arkansas.
100,000 Fish found dead approximately 125 miles away.
Scientists devising a way to make it downpour in Abu Dhabi.
Biblical floods in Australia.

I just want you all to know that I'm still looking at the facts and trying to fully understand what is going on. It's being suggested that the black birds died from shock due to New Years Eve fireworks. I wonder if the Abi Dhabi deal was part of HAARP and if it was maybe the actual culprit of what happened. I checked the coordinates of the areas affected, and they don't seem to be related at all... but maybe there's something I'm missing:

Abu Dhabi - 24*28'00.00" N 54*22'00.00E

Beebe, Arkansas - 34*04'28.13" N 91*53'46.22" W

Ozark, Arkansas - 35*29'13.13" N 93*49'39.71" W

• The Governor of Pakistan's Punjab province, Salman Taseer, was assassinated by his own security guard today. Reports say that his one of his security guard felt that Taseer's views of blasphemy issues were... blasphemous. This is a huge blow for a country whose people attempted to give the death penalty to someone who was accused of speaking poorly against the prophet Mohammad.
• Shares in BP oil have reached a 6 month high since competitor company, Shell, have been rumored to place a takeover bid on the company... AND apparently the clean up costs might become less than expected. If you buy shares in BP, let me know what it's like to deal with the Devil.
• Obama is installing a huge food safety bill that is meant to give the government greater regulation control. This comes in light of all the egg recalls.
• Foot & Mouth Disease is spreading throughout South Korea despite quarantine efforts. There were 83 confirmed cases so far.
• A 10-year old boy shot his mom in the head and killed her on Sunday. Obviously, this is really fucked up.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• I wish I knew more about Earth sciences to fully explain why all our travelling is getting totally fucked up. Until then, read about how a bunch of Russians became so irate about being stuck at an airport with dwindling food supplies, that they beat up employees. Russian President Medvedev is launching an investigation about the travel chaos.
• Meanwhile, back in the great city I live in, NYC, people are really angry with the fact that the streets have yet to be plowed and public transportation is shit after SNOWPOCALYPSE. Thankfully, the weather is warming up and all the snow will melt by Friday.
• Single-family home prices fell for the fourth straight month. Right now is a great time to buy a home. So do it. And if you're buying a home in Bergen County, NJ, you should contact my mom: OndineLewitinn@aol.com ... Seriously.
• About a week ago a body was discovered in a suitcase in NYC. A guy was caught on surveillant video lugging the luggage. He has now been identified and arrested.
• I know that I talk about how much i love that NBC show "Outsourced" and how fucking stupidly hot I think Ben Rappaport is, but on a serious note, here's an article about how American companies are shitting on the jobless Americans by outsourcing everything.
• A 6.3 magnitude earthquake hit the South Pacific Ocean... no damages occurred. Some of you might believe it's the USO Alien base in the South Pacific that's causing all this craziness, but I don't take EUTimes as a good source of info... so I don't believe that.
• Looks like Neanderthals liked to cook.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• INTRODUCING: DENISOVANS! Ladies and Gents, it looks like there was once up to 4 different kinds of humaniod species roaming the earth -- Neanderthals, Hobbits, modern humans, and now Denisovans! So exciting. It looks like this species existed in southeast Asia and Australia and bred with modern human. I love how the concept of the evolution of man is changing! This is beyond fascinating!
• North Korea's minister of armed forces said on Thursday its military was prepared to wage a "holy war" against the South using its nuclear deterrent after what he called Seoul's attempt to initiate conflict.
• A wave of holiday terrorism has hit Rome. Both the Swiss and Chilean embassies were attacked with parcel bombs. Thankfully nobody was fatally injured.
• Former Argentine dictator, Jorge Videla, has been sentenced to life in prison for crimes he committed against political prisoners in 1976.
• So in addition to the mini-Ice Age upon us, it looks like 2011 is going to have one hell of a hurricane season for the Atlantic coast. I guess right now is a good time for me to make sure my parent's place in Hallendale is prepared!
• Julian Assange is telling US journalists that they should basically be behind him because the people against him are against the First Amendment.
• UNICEF and religious leaders in Indonesia are joining forces to promote breast feeding. Right now, less than 33% of infants are being breast fed in Indonesia ... and scientists have found that breastfeeding is one of the most essential things a month can do for a baby to make sure it's healthy.
• A man in Bangladesh was beaten to death by his four wives, once they discovered he had four wives, which is legal in Bangladesh, but only with consent from the other wives.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Yesterday I posted this article about how a scientist determined that we're about to enter a mini-Ice Age, and now there seems to be another one out there to support this. What's causing this -- apart from the Sun's storm activities -- is a "freak diversion of the jet stream." Does this have something to do with the Sun? The pole changes? Is Earth about to recycle itself? Expect more articles like this to pop up.
• Thank God! Obama signed the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal! In a few short months, gays will be able to serve openly in the military and the government will start to look into how to give partners the same benefits they give married straights.
• State of Emergency is in effect in California following the heavy rains. That pesky jet stream!!!
• South Korea continues to see how much they can provoke the North by bringing on new military drills.
• Police in Philadelphia are on the search for a serial killer who already murdered 3 women by strangulation.
• Water Works employees in Ohio have been charged with stealing water and sewer services by messing with their water meters. While I think it's not cool to steal, I do think that employees of services like that should get free services up to a certain point.
• Italian students are protesting against education reform. The reforms will cut the number of university courses, merge some smaller universities, reduce funding for grants, increase the role of the private sector and limit the duration of rectorships.
• Here's a great article about a new procedure that an opera singer underwent... she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer that had spread all over her body -- 24 tumors overall, many in her brain. Thanks to a new treatment using a chemotherapy treatment called Tarceva and the Elekta Gamma Knife, her tumors were removed and haven't grown back!
• Two Firefighters died and many others were trapped after a wall collapsed during a 3-11 fire in Chicago's southside neighborhood. Strangely, this happened on the 100th Anniversary of the huge fire in Chicago that claimed the lives of 21 Firefighters.
• Obama's spy chief had no idea about the 12 suspected terrorists arrested in Britain this week. In the embarrassing interview with Diane Sawyer, James Clapper went blank when asked about the situation. Chief Counter Terrorism advisor John Brennan claimed that Clapper was too busy focusing on other shit and had no time to worry about terrorist threats that didn't effect us.
• Because of the EU/IMF bailout earlier this year, the Greek government is expected to make even more budget cuts and raise taxes. The Greeks have taken the streets in protest, but not in the numbers you might expect. Many have given up hope.
• Oil has raised to $90/barrel in Asia.
• The government says that the economy rose 2.6% in the 3rd quarter, which was more than previously reported.
• A fowl package -- literally, it was chicken stuffed with shrimp -- held up travels at an airport. Way to go, TSA!
• Indonesian police seized over 2million copies of porn movies in Jakarta. Even the porn industry is hurting these days!
• I'm so confused by this: Apparently a bunch of flights were cancelled in Argentina because flight attendants were protesting a wage increase. What?!?
• Deutsche Bank has agreed to pay the US over $550 Million to resolve some sort of fraud. That should help our economy a little, right?
• This is DISGUSTING. An American who had founded a school in Haiti has been accused of sexually abusing many of the male students and will serve up to 20 years in jail. What a disgusting abuse of power. For shame!

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• According to a weather expert who has been spot-on with weather more so than the experts: There's a mini-Ice Age coming.
• Not sure what's bigger news, the Ice Age or the new FCC bullshit. I'm gonna go with the Ice Age. Here are some of the winners and losers for the new FCC internet traffic rules that are expected to get passed today. Just another way that Obama is letting us down. Here's some more about it.
• Julian Assange is on a rampage and his friends aren't even safe. And according to Wikileaks, canisters of Uranium were being held in a booby-trapped bunker in the Congo. Uranium is a key ingredient in making weapons of mass destruction. It would've been bad news if those canisters got into the wrong hands.
• NYC cab drivers will be getting bullet proof vests. Good.
• The number of victims of H1N1 in the UK has doubled in the past week as medical facilities are racing to help the ill.
• Epic amounts of snow are expected to fall in Colorado.
• A flash mob of carolers in Sacramento nearly caused the 2nd floor of a mall to cave-in. Bah humbag.
• Apparently budget cuts are going to cause San Diego county to shut off some street lights to save money. I think that's a pretty good idea, actually.
• The Baltimore police are assholes. They ticketed two good-Samaritans who rescued a deer from frozen waters because they weren't wearing life vests. Jerks.
• Census News: U.S. population is 308.7 million up from 281.4 million a decade ago but lowest growth since Great Depression of the 1930s. In a big win for the GOP, eight states gain 12 congressional seats; nine states lose representatives. Only one state, Michigan, lost population during the past decade. Nevada, with a 35 percent increase, was the fastest-growing state.
• United Nations gets evacuated because of gas leak.
• The latest terror threat in the US threatens to attack people in hotels via food poisoning.
• A new study shows that more than half the people from ages 25-29 don't have landlines, even when they have families.
• The teen birthrate in 2009 was at a record low. However, I'm excited to see what the 2010 numbers will be with all those teens who got pregnant to be on Teen Mom.
• Britain and Russia have each expelled a diplomat from each other's embassies in row over suspected espionage.
• A Brazilian groom killed himself, his bride, and best man at his wedding after announcing that he had a "big surprise." Holy shit.
• Travel conditions in the UK are still a shit show.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• North Korea did not attack South Korea -- which is what many feared would happen as a result of SK's drills. Especially since NK threatened to do so.
• There was a bomb scare at Newark Airport this morning that turned out to be a computer monitor. As you might remember Al Quada promised there'd be attacks during the holiday.
• The European Central Bank has expressed "serious concerns" that a new law in Ireland could force the central bank to take losses on the collateral it accepts in exchange for loans to commercial banks. I have no idea what this means. I need to get better at understanding finance!!!
• Thanks to Julian Assange, Twitter is possibly going to have a future in UK courts.
• The top ten breakthroughs in physics in 2010. It was a big year!
• Iran executed 11 terrorists from the Jundallah group.
• An Egyptian business man was charged with trying to find spies for Israel. One group's terrorist is another group's alley.
• Europe has been slammed with more terrible weather. More delayed flights. More upset travelers. Hopefully someone will be live-Tweeting the fiasco like Lily Allen did.
• Hundreds of people in the Cote D'Ivoire have been reportedly abducted following a presidential election.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• A heads up to everyone in the USA and Europe, Al Qaeda said they're planning terrorist attacks over the Christmas holidays. Apparently Interpol is all over it, but every since Carlos D left the band they're short some guns.
• Julian Assange has been released from the UK prison on bail. There's an appeal out against this decision. He will likely be extradited to Sweden.
• The UN is set to investigate the source of the cholera outbreak in Haiti. They're looking into the speculations that the virus -- which killed 2,000 people and hospitalized 44,000 -- was introduced into the region by UN peace keepers.
• A storm in Israel unearthed a marble statue that had been hidden for thousands of years. Unfortunately, the same storm that uncovered the Roman-era statue also destroyed much of the remains of an ancient port city.
• The White House granted the greenlight for scientists to continue creating synthetic biology. As in, creating life from non-life. As in, playing God. It'll be interesting to see where this lands us. Maybe we can create synthetic stem cells?
• Will someone please tell South Korea to chill the fuck out? They're practicing new military drills. North Korea is gonna be so effing pissed.
• Obama thinks that shit is going well in Afghanistan.
• BP investors are freaking out because the US government is looking to sue the oil company for negligence, which could cause the whole clean up -- which was estimated to be around $40 Billion -- to double in cost. If you have stock in BP, pull out now.
• Hugo Chavez requested "super powers" over the next 12 months that would allow him to create certain laws without approval. Since Venezuela was hit terribly with storms that killed 40 people and displaced over 100,000, he wants to make sure he can make immediate decisions. This is the 4th time he's requested "super powers"... the last time being in 2007. Obviously the push back on this is fear that he will become a dictator. Dude's been president for 12 years! Follow Chavez on Twitter!
• McDonald's is being sued over their Happy Meals and how they target children and get them to eat badly. You know, I'm kind of all about that lawsuit. I think it's about time. Can we do the same to the corn industry and get rid of HFCS?

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• An international space team lead by Qatar, discovered a new planet. It's been named Qatar-1b and demonstrates how countries from all over can collaborate to make stellar discoveries.
• China's Huawei -- a telecom solutions provider - will be investing $2 Billion over 5 years in India. Just another piece of business America lost out on.
• Richard Holbrooke, the US Special Representative to Afghanistan and Pakistan, passed away.
• South Korea thinks that North Korea has more uranium sites. SK thinks that NK is working on building a nuclear bomb. There's so much he-said/she-said going on between those two that i feel like I'm watching an episode of Law & Order: Sexy Crimes.
• OOF! Yahoo! is laying off about 600 employees just in time for the holidays. Didn't they just hire a bunch of awesome bloggers for their site? My condolences to all of you. :(
• Apparently someone forgot to give the European Union the memo about the state of Israel. They're laying the pressure down on Israel and Palestine to figure their shit out and live peacefully side by side so they can eventually move forward and recognize Palestine. Focus on Ireland, will ya?
• South Africa just opened its first Space Agency in hopes of becoming Africa's leading Earth observation location. Is there competition?
• Medicaid cuts are killing Americans basically. Can someone please figure out a plan B, please?
• The Sun is FUCKING AWESOME. Check this out. Scientists just observed some crazy massive sun storm that totally will effect our telecommunications AND we're also in the middle of Mercury in Retrograde (that's when communications fail based on astrology... and sorta astronomy). Coincidence? I think not!
• And finally, a Festivus miracle - an inmate cited his belief in the Seinfeld-created holiday of Festivus, as a reason to get Kosher meals in prison. Genius.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Obamacare hit a snag when a judge in VA declared the part of the bill, which requires that people buy health insurance by 2014 or get fined, unconstitutional (did i put the comma in the right place? it doesn't feel right). I'm a fan of Obamacare because it allowed someone close to me get insurance AFTER being diagnosed with cancer. What a lifesaver! I wonder how this will impact everything.
• The Bank of America is having their own version of Black Friday with their sale of over $1 Billion "Toxic Mortgages." Got an extra $20k laying around? Thought so. Buy some property, son.
• Scientists believe they have found evidence of other Universes while studying the echos of the Big Bang (the echo of the Big Bang is a fairly new theory that suggests that the universe is like a Russian doll that's constantly beginning and ending). Scientists think that our universe is a bubble inside a larger body... think of it like when you make bubbles with your drool and some bubbles are inside other bubbles and etc. Each bubble is a universe. It's a lot to take in, so read this.
• A new species of Lemur (Fork Lemur) was discovered in Madagascar and it's impossibly cute. I don't understand how Lemurs are primates. They look more raccoon to me. Can I get a second opinion on this please?
• Want some birth defects to make your own Geek Love-style army of circus jerks? Good news: Chernobyl will now be welcoming tourists to their site in 2011.
• A French teen held 20 nursery school children and their teacher hostage with swords. Nobody was injured. French teens are getting as fucked up as American ones. Well done!
• Scientists are doing some pretty amazing things with stem cells like turning them into pancreatic tissue and complex layers of intestinal tissue. Could this mean that pancreatic cancer might one day no longer be as deadly as it is now? Let's pray. They're also doing some great stuff for diabetes... which, is estimated to afflict 1/2 of all Americans in the next 40 years.
• A South Korean fishing boat sunk in the waters near Antarctica and miraculously, 20 people survived. Nobody knows why it sank. I'm hoping it has nothing to do with North Korea because I am not dressed for a nuclear war.
• It appears as though Leonardo Da Vinci hid some letters and numbers in the eyes of the Mona Lisa! That man... always a trick up his sleeve.
• A&P is filing for Chapter 11. This plus the fact that food prices are about to sky-rocket makes me think it's time to make a little garden in my apartment. Maybe i should be doing a better job of getting people to buy things they don't know they need?
• A Dutch man has been arrested on suspicion of abusing up to 33 children under the age of 4 while working at a nursery and baby sitter. I'm against the death penalty (however I would probably kill someone with my tiny bare hands if they killed someone I love), but this case really seems like a great contender for capital punishment. Dude ruined tons of kids' lives. Disgusting.
• The Netherlands is popping today -- a Dutch teen has been arrested as a suspect in the pro-Wikileaks hacking fiasco. Dude deserves a job at Google.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Today's a good day for minorities: Looks like America is making good on land we stole and lives we ruined: Obama just signed a law to pay back monies owed to Native American for royalties dating back to 1887! As well as Black farmers who had been shut out of government aid.
• And in a really amazing move, The Dream Act was also signed. This act would allow any individual who came into the USA illegally under the age of 16, who completed high school and 2 years of college and/or military service, to receive citizenship. A truly remarkable move that demonstrates the ability for people to access what's left of the "American Dream."
• This is an interesting article about how Twitter is becoming the an awesome tool for dissidents. Wanna know who is on the target list for supporters of Wikileaks and humanity in general? This piece will let you know.
• A man imprisoned in Guatemala has some really really really great friends: 15 men stormed the prison he was in for murder and got him out. They also killed two people in the process.
• Stop pointing laser pointers at planes as they fly overhead. Those things are strong and the pilots are getting distracted.
• Apparently the job market is on an upswing. I call bullshit.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Despite Julian Assange of Wikileaks being in prison for crimes that he may or may not have committed, the Wikileaks continue to flow. In today's edition of How the World Burns, we find out about a Saudi Prince and his Halloween party packed with Moonshine and hookers. Meanwhile, the Anonymous group has managed to bring down the Mastercard website and others that cut off Assange from his resources. Also, Australia is totally blaming the US for their golden child. Meanwhile, Joe Lieberman needs to chill.
• Chile is going to have to answer a few questions: a fire at a Chilean prison killed 81 inmates and apparently the prison guards locked down the facility making it hard for firefighters to reach the source of the blaze.
• A new species of stork has been found on Hobbit island in Indonesia. Giant birds and Tiny People... this sounds like the making of a sitcom if you ask me.
• Obama held onto Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy. Obama is claiming its to keep things moving along so the economy doesn't get effed. The Democrats are like WTF?!?! And Jim Hensen's Muppet factory have halted production of the Obama character since he's already a puppet.
• Speaking of Bush-era garbage: Cheney is in hot water with the Nigers.
• Scientists have identified an altered gene that can cause gender misidentification. I don't mean like, girls who wanna be boys or vice versa... I mean, girls with clits that look like dicks.
• China's buddies wont attend the Nobel Prize ceremony since an imprisoned Chinese citizen is a winner.
• A teen suicide bomber kills nearly 20 in Pakistan.
• An advisor to the Chinese Central Bank says that the US economy is in the shitter - even worse than Europe's - but nobody will notice for another year. If you're into currency trading, buy the dollar now, sell in 3 months. Then buy the euro. I could be wrong, but that seems right. Jim Rogers says that the Fed is really really really understating inflation.
• Remember Haiti? Their capital is up in a blaze due to riots over the Presidential elections. I hate to say it, but they're kind of fucked right now, aren't they?
• A Japanese space craft failed to get into Venus' orbit and may have flown past the planet. Get it together, Japanese scientists.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

So much news to report. I hope I can get this done in a timely manner. Happy(?) AIDS day, by the way.

• The biggest news ever, in the whole world -- so big that it's out of this world: NASA is holding a press conference tomorrow at 2pm about an "Astrobiology discovery." In other words: They probably found life on other planets. HOLLUR! To watch the conference at 2pm tomorrow go here.
• The estimates are in and it looks like $1Billion was spent on Cyber Monday, making it the biggest ever. Maybe they should consider having a Cyber Monday midyear as well? Maybe people spending money before their Jobless Benefits end today.
• Over 100,000 people apply for 1,000 available positions as flight attendants for Delta -- making it one of the most popular job searches since American Idol. Either that, or a lot of people love inflatable slides.
• Bank Of America got some special treatment since the taxpayers were supporting it's ass. Basically, they hid the fact that they gave $6BILLION in bonuses to Merrill Lynch employees before acquiring ML ... and then, when they were caught for being sneaky, they only had to pay $150 Million to settle a securities law violation. Bogus.
• Speaking of bogus bullshit - the average American might have to pay an extra $1600 in taxes due to the shit economy. Thanks Bank of America! I wont be too upset if B0A are the next wikileak victims.
• Speaking of wikileaks... Assange, the man behind the leaks, is on Interpol's most wanted list, but not on Interpol's guestlist.
• Looks like the Egyptian elections were rigged this year (and every other?).
• North Korea and South Korea are still fighting it out. SK said that NK is totally gonna pull their earring out and cut them with a razor they hid in their mouth. Everyone just wants them to get it over with.
• Another day, another incident of the TSA being total d-bags. A woman in a wheelchair went through security in a bra and panties so she wouldn't get felt up and violated (again). The TSA agents weren't pleased and made her miss her flight. Americans: 0, Terrorists: 1000.
• Speaking of Terrorists... our environmental terrorizing government decided to give the coast of Florida a break and ban offshore drilling for another 7 years. Horay.
• Don't Ask, Don't Tell is still up in the air. Nobody can decide what the report the Pentagon just released means exactly. So uh... if anyone can essplain it to me, that'd be great. It's ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING that there isn't a screening for the mental capacity of soldiers but there is one for their sexual orientation. You can't bang someone of the same sex but you can kill innocent civilians FOR SPORT BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING LUNATIC. So gross.
• Russia is working with America in finalizing an agreement on Russian baby adoptions after an American woman ruined it for the rest of the world by returning her adopted Russian kid by buying him a one way ticket to Moscow and having him board a plane alone with a receipt.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Good news for all of you who like bad news: North Korea is saying that South Korea's actions are driving the peninsula to the "brink of war."NK is like that boyfriend that says his girlfriend made him hit her. Obama vowed to defend South Korea if North Korea tries anything more. This has potential to be so fucking shitty for everyone.
• An Indonesian cleric has been jailed for marrying a 12 year old girl. He said he was gonna wait til she hit puberty before banging his bride ... I'm not sure why he couldn't just wait until puberty to marry her. On top of that, he also stated that he was planning on marrying two other girls, aged 7 and 9 (Muslims are allowed up to 4 wives in Indonesia). In case you were wondering, the childbride was delivered back to her parents by cops immediately following the wedding -- not sure why they weren't arrested as well.
• Speaking of child molesting priests, a priest who was accused of molesting a kid managed to prove that he's a super scumbag by hiring a undercover agent as a hitman to kill the kid he molested. Way to be Holy, asshole.
• The 29 miners that were trapped in the New Zealand mine are presumed dead following a second explosion. Why are mines suddenly in the news so much? Have they been this disastrous in the past, or is this a new phenom?
• San Francisco is filled with geniuses: they're regulating their Happy Meals. Now, in order for a McDonalds in SF to offer happy meals with toys, they have to meet certain dietary standards. There's hopes that this will help fight childhood obesity and that other cities will follow suit.
• Fans have been lined up at a Barnes & Nobel in Phoenix since 1am for a Sarah Palin book signing. Mark my words: She is going to run for President in 2012, and she is going to win. Do I want her to? No. But she will. She's doing everything right. She knows that popularity wins and she's working on spinning every aspect of her life to make her popular.
• It looks like things like the interwebs is making insider trading more and more gray.
• Facebook just won the trademark on the word FACE. Face. FACE!?
• SpaceX, the first commercial-based company has been granted permission to have their spacecraft return to earth after leaving it.
• This Sunday "60 Minutes" will be taking an inside look on the new Spiderman musical that Bono wrote. It's the most expensive musical ever and it just so happens to have one of my best friends in it! Mazel Tov, Mat Devine!!!
• Cookie Monster wants to be on SNL. This isn't newsworthy, but I figured that it's a light hearted thing that can be used to change the topic when things get heavy or heated during Thanksgiving dinner.
• Kuwait is looking to ban the use of digital cameras in public by anyone who isn't an accredited journalist.
• In Israel you are required to do about 2 years in the army, no matter what. I've found that this has toughened up a lot of Israeli's that I know and given them a "no bullshit" attitude that can sometimes be seen as abrasive. Obviously, some Israeli citizens have no interest in being in the army -- especially with things being so tense. But, being the industrious people that they are, the Israeli government is now using Facebook to track down draft dodgers. Way to go, Facebook, way to go.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

We are so fucked.

• North Korea struck South Korea overnight. The North claims the South struck first, the South claims otherwise... and basically EVERY SINGLE SUPER POWER NATION IS REALLY FUCKING SCARED (a history of the conflict between North and South is here). People are scared that if the North and South start fighting, it will cause each region's ally to step in and do what ally's do: join in. North Korea's (basically only) ally is China. South Korea's ally is the United States. China and the USA are already comparing dick sizes, and neither country really wants to pull their balls out. Everyone is basically saying that that North is acting like a bunch of assholes. Russia sees this as a "colossal danger" and Obama is "outraged."And the French are like "zoot alors!" and have already surrendered.

  From CNBC: Asked about the North's motives, Pentagon Press Secretary Geoff Morrell said: "I don't know. This is an extremely unpredictable government in Pyongyang and they do things that you could not possibly have predicted in a rational world."

  Meanwhile:

  North Korea threatened to continue "merciless" strikes on South Korea on Tuesday after the communist state launched a deadly artillery attack across their western sea border.

• Speaking of China, looks like they're the leading cause of Greenhouse Gas emissions. Way to go, dudes.
• The death toll for the Cambodian stampede has raised to 345. The stampede occurred at a Water Festival -- a yearly celebration of a military victory which includes boat races and prayer for rain -- and has been considered one of the biggest tragedies to hit the country. A reporter claims that panic struck when a suspension bridge started to say and police started shooting water cannons at a bridge in an effort to get people to move in a certain direction.
• SOME GOOD NEWS!: The UN stated that the world AIDS crisis is starting to slow down! And not only that, but there appears to be a daily pill dosage that helps gay men not catch HIV! It's still undetermined how it will work with heterosexuals, but it's proven to work nicely for the gays! Horay!
• Unfortunately, we're trading one preventable disease for another: looks like half of Americans will have diabetes by 2020. Stay away from high fructose corn syrup, people.
• More TSA bullshit ... it might extend to trains and subways. Meanwhile, people are raising concern about the TSA spreading diseases because they're not changing their latex gloves before each crotch gram. The terrorists have won.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• As we approach Thanksgiving and all the travel that comes with it, the TSA continues to impose their version of the Milgram Experiment on the public. I'm sorry, but some of them are total fucking assholes. Especially, the ones who refuse to listen to and adjust their procedures when dealing with passengers who have medical issues, like the poor bladder cancer survivor whose pat down lead to him being soaked in urine from his urostomy bag. If I ever see a TSA agent mishandle either of my parents, there will be words. And it wont be words-with-friends. Sorry to go personal, but I am just disgusted. I'm quite happy I wont have to go to O'Hare where the airport security line is about a mile long. The TSA better rethink their procedures like they suggest they might. By the way, all this because of Al Qaeda's affordable and effective scare tactics. We've lost the war on terrorism.
• Sometimes, the people hired to drive nuclear weapons across the country, get drunk. The government is doing an investigation to make sure they weren't ... you know, wasted on the job.
• Hallelujah! The Pope has finally stated that the Vatican's stance on condom banning is not absolute and should be used in cases like encountering a male prostitute (a euphemism for choir boy?).
• Sadly, 29 New Zealand miners are stuck in a mine and the outlook is not too good. Meanwhile, 29 miners in a flooded China mine were successfully rescued after 30 hours.
• A report lead by the Pentagon regarding what the effects might be on lifting the ban on gays in the military is set to be released on November 30. I'm looking forward to their research on banning psychopaths.
• A suspected Nazi war criminal died before being tried. I think he may have been guilty.
• Ireland is getting a bailout. What does this mean? And how will this work? If you plan on going to a country using the Euro, you might be in luck since the USD is looking decent in comparison with exchange rates.
• And China is telling people not to worry about inflation. Fingers and toes crossed, but not likely. The dollar is going to be worth nothing.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• The Chinese have built that world's top supercomputer. The computer is called the Tianhe-1A, and it knocked the American supercomputer, Jaguar, to second place. In third place is another Chinese supercomputer. To give some prospective on how fast these technologies move, three years ago, a US supercomputer was ranked at #1 and today it's #12. This is important because on top of China becoming an economic superpower in the coming years, becoming a technological superpower will help up their abilities to develop things like war strategies and other methods of control. People are saying not to worry about this... yet. However, we're talking about the same government that just sentenced a woman to a year in a labor camp for Tweeting: "Charge, angry youth." And now, it looks like China has found a way to re-route a significant amount of U.S. internet traffic. According to a report:

  The rerouting happened on April 8 and lasted for about 18 minutes. The traffic hijacking affected U.S. government and military networks, including those belonging to the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps, as well as the Office of the Secretary of Defense, the Department of Commerce, NASA and the U.S. Senate. Commercial sites, including those belonging to Microsoft, Dell and Yahoo, were also affected.

So yeah... American computer nerds, get on it.
• Yesterday it was in the news that Germany was upping their security due to terrorist threats, and it looks like a bomb was intercepted on it's way to Munich. The terrorists have it all wrong -- your enemy's enemy is your friend. You guys both hate Jews. Or at least, Germany once did... remember? You're going after the wrong country. The French hate Jews as well. So do the Brits. So... like, stop with this bullshit, guys.
• Scientists think they found proof of the existence of extra dimensions. NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING. My theory is that not only has the planet been visited by aliens, but we've also been encountering "aliens" from other dimensions on the regular. Ever have dejavu or ESP? I think that's actually us encountering the time dimension slicing through our lives. This makes more sense when you watch Carl Sagen talk about it.
• Wanna know what's happening at the Large Hadron Collider? Here's an update! Looks like they've managed to trap some anti-matter.
• Scientists say that global weather is going to get even more devastating thanks to climate change.
• Cal-Maine, one of the country's largest egg distributors, are being accused of animal cruelty. There's some pretty horrendous things going on there, and while I haven't yet given up on eating eggs, I am considering it. I gave up eating chicken because nobody gives a shit about chickens, it seems, so they let them live in gross conditions and I am not into that.
• Shit is getting more bonkers in Haiti. People are attacking peace keepers and accusing them of starting the cholera outbreak. I hate to say it, but it's possible. I mean, there's already speculation that the US used HAARP to cause the earthquake.
• Are MySpace and Facebook joining forces? They're gonna make some sort of announcement at 12 PST today.
• Satellite imagery shows activity over North Korea nuclear testing site.



Wow. Today's news was so tin-foil-hat worthy. Sorry.