WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Even Rupert Murdoch is worried about China's growing economic power. Shit is gonna get really messed up over here in the States. What dialect of Chinese should I be learning? Seriously.
• Germany has raised their security alert because of suspected terrorist activity.
• A new superbug has emerged in Europe called NDM-1. In fact, one of the dudes from the European Center for Disease Prevention called it a "Super superbug." 77 cases have appeared in multiple countries in the EU, and 3 in the states. The bug is immune to almost all vaccines and can cause UTIs and pneumonia. They also said that it may have been spread from India. Good times.
• Super long profile about Sarah Palin in New York Times. She's totally gonna run for President in 2012 and she's totally going to win. She knows that popularity rules uber alles. Shoot, she's also probably been prepping and learning things and stuff.
• The Egyptian blogger who was jailed for insulting the President of Egypt and possibly insulting Islam, has finally been released after 4 years. What would you tell this blogger he missed while he was away?
• The TSA is going to have a lot of essplainin to do pretty soon. I'm doubtful this new security situation is going to last much longer: Airline pilots are trying rally against it, an online group is trying to initiate some sort of "National Opt-Out Day" (November 24), the Taiwanese animated our biggest fears, the TSA has been hit by lawsuits, and even beloved illusionist, Penn Jillett called the cops on a TSA agent that felt his crotch without asking first. Will you be opting out next time you fly? Here's what happens when you decline a full body scan.
• Japan is working on making the future happen now with facial recognition vending machines.
• The first transgendered trial judge in the country has been elected. Big day!
• Waist-high flooding in England.
• The FDA is probably gonna ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks, and FOURLoko is changing it's ingredients... which will kill the product anyway since it tastes like crap.
• The police have taken the producer of "Survivor" into custody cos they think he was involved in his wife's murder in Mexico.
• Cholera has hit the Dominican Republic.
• Strong earthquake in Indonesia. No damage. Thank goodness.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

Murders in NYC are back up 15% this year. Hide your kids and hide your wife.

The Post Office lost $8.5 BILLION last year. Not like, they lost it in the mail... but more like, they're going broke. Here's an idea for them: Stop hiring such lazy assholes.

Cholera in Haiti has claimed 796 victims and over 200,000 are in danger of catching the highly contagious flu. Where's Wycleff now?!

That pesky Indonesian Volcano, Merapi, is really messing things up over there. The death toll reached 206 and over 380,000 people have been displaced. Scientists warn that it could get worse, which might not be TOTALLY bad news. With Mt. Merapi situated so close to the equator, if it emits a large enough quantity of sulfur dioxide into the stratosphere, it could cool our global climate a few degrees and that could be a huge help to living things as the ozone starts depleting. However, if the sulfur dioxide doesn't make it high up enough, we could have a lot of acid rain on our hands. Wait and see?

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

So I'm going to try and make this a daily thing where I post about news things that happened while you were sleeping. Typically, this will go up earlier in the day, but I was super busy this morning.

A mysterious missile appeared to have been launched off the coast of California. Nobody seems to know what it was. Even the Pentagon is boggled. Here's my three guesses:

1. US trying to attack the Indonesian volcano.

2. Unidentified Submerged Object of other worldly origin, thus proving Colleen Thomas RIGHT.

3. Uh... something we should be really effing nervous about.

The Large Hadron Collider made a big bang!

A pill with an embedded microchip. It's meant to make sure you're taking the right meds at the right time. Not so sure I feel ok with this.

Cholera outbreak in Haiti's capital.

Everyone is nervous about Israel's East Jerusalem housing plan.

4,000 people stranded on a cruise ship.