The video is RIGHT HERE.
Here's an acoustic version:
The lyrics have been really speaking to me. I don't really know how to address a recent event in my life, but this song does it better than I could ever imagine someone doing it who doesnt know me:
when your sparkle evades your soul
i`ll be at your side to console
when your standing on the window ledge
i`ll talk you back from the edge
i will turn your tide
be your shepard and your guide
when your lost in the deep and darkest place around
may my words walk you home safe and sound
when you say that im no good and you feel like walking
i need to make sure you know thats just the prescription talking
when your feet decide to walk you on the wayward side
up upon the stairs and down the downward slide
i will turn your tide
do all that i can to heal you inside
i`ll be the angel on your shoulder
my name is geraldine, im your social worker
i see you need me
i know you do
I've been going out so much lately. I am really trying to get back to my old self that people who have been reading this blog say they miss. I miss her too, you know. I feel like i'm back at zero or closer to zero -- which is where I was when I started this blog which i used to document my adventures.
I spent the past two and a half years working incredibly hard on two things. By the end of the second year, one of those things started killing me inside. I would come home miserable and crying because I felt like things were beyond repair. When a plug was pulled I rejoiced. My life felt like it was given a second chance. Another aspect of my life was given a chance to be evaluated. Sometimes we evaluate the progress on things differently than people involved, but either way, that other thing in my life is over and now I'm back to being this little jewish girl living in her lower east side apartment, scamming after boys and falling in love with bands. The blockage has left the brain/heart.
I recently spent two days in Killers land with Karen. She and I needed a return to 2004 desperately. We went to see them at Highline Ballroom, which was a secret show I think, and my buddy Ryan Pardey (aka the Captain ... for fans of Sawdust) and his new band Halloween town, were opening. Ryan had given me the heads up about his band warning that I might not really like them... or i might LOVE THEM. I'm typically a supportive friend and am generally just happy to see people I know get on stage and perform in front of a group of people.
I forget how he described them to me, but I would describe them as being some what Grandaddy-ish. Less spacey and more to the point though. Anyway, at first I stood as close to the stage as I could get -- which happened to be next to a bunch of buddies I went to high school with in Tenafly. Karen stood behind me and we cheered our friend on in support. I wasn't a fan off the bat, but I thought they were good. I turned to Karen and said "They're not bad!" She shrugged her shoulders and nodded. By the time they played a song that might be called "I Miss My Wife," the entire audience was hushed, staring up onto the stage with their mouths hanging open.
Ryan is a brooding type of guy. He's over six feet, has red hair and a red beard and intense eyes. That's him on the left:
I eventually turned to Karen and said "Holy shit, they're fucking awesome." Something had suddenly connected with the band, Ryan, and the audience to this cosmic fantastic second. It was one of those revealing moments that I forgot existed. Finally, I saw Ryan as this wonderful performer -- the guy he kept on telling me he was -- and not just as the sweet dude I hang out with every few months and text with occasionally. Up on stage he was slowly transforming himself from awkwardness to Ian Curtis embodying frontdude (turns out he watched Control about three times that week).
I ended up rounding up my girls and forcing them on a road trip to the Foxwoods to see the band play. We managed to run down to the front of the stage and sing and dance to all the songs we love so dear. At one point Brandon waved at us -- not sure how he didnt laugh his ass off since we definitely looked dumb as fuck. Mark told us he tried not to look at us cos it would throw him off. After the show in the dressing room I told Brandon how I really needed to get back to 2004 and he thought it was crazy that I was nostalgic for that specific year. But things were just so much easier then, weren't they?
Here's Karen's photos from the foxwoods.