NEW WEEKLY FEATURE: I A&R AMERICAN IDOL

Next week on American Idol, contestants are going to perform songs from iTunes' top 100 songs. I saw this article which had the writer's pick, and decided to do my own A&R challenge. Please reply in the comments (if anyone reads this blog) with your own suggestions? I take American Idol very seriously, and that's kind of pathetic, I know. Sorry. I think this will be a weekly column since I have a very strong opinion on the show.

Not that anybody cares, but here are my picks:

Matt Giraud: Kayne West's "Heartless"
I think this is a great opportunity to show the judges and America that he can be relevant and make a song his own. The charm of "Heartless", one might say, is that Kanye cant exactly sing. Matt Giraud can sing for the most part, and he's basically vanilla. This would be a great way to make Kanye's song the way Kanye hears it in his head. He'll probably give Coldplay's "Vida La Vida" another go with his piano, which might be a good idea as well.

Adam Lambert: Muse "Supermassive Black Hole"
Adam is the Rocky Horror Picture Show on American Idol and I love that. I know i'm in the minority of the hipsters in hipsterville for saying this, but I love him. I think that the only reason why Adam Lambert is on American Idol is so he can perform a Muse song. Will it be the best choice? Maybe not. Please don't do Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." I know you will, though :(.

Danny Gokey: Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours"
He will bore us to tears with the Jason Mraz song which will be dedicated to his dearly departed wife. I really feel bad for Danny, I do. I think his story is totally tragic & I'm glad that he was able to find something positive to come out of such a horrible experience, but I wish he would stop trying to excite us by changing his glasses & instead, try to excite us with his songs.

Kris Allen: Kings of Leon - "Sex On Fire"
I would LOVE to hear him do a Kings of Leon song. He is ADORABLE, but so far I feel like he's stayed on the show because he's cute and I'm sure Simon likes him cos he looks like Will Young and plays it pretty safe. But like Simon said, he needs swagger and confidence. I Can already see Paula Abdul doing a cougar dance at the judges table with her pelvis gyrating on Simon's arm like a pitbull in heat when he preforms it. If he does this song, he will probably win the whole American Idol. However, he'll probably compete with Scott in a coin toss over the Fray song and tell Scott that it was heads when it's really tails and fuck over wonderful, blind Scott.

Allison Iraheta: Katy Perry "Hot N Cold"
While she probably will do Carrie Underwood - "Home Sweet Home" or Kelly Clarkson's "My Life Would Suck Without You" she would probably sing the roof off the Katy Perry song and make people forget that Perry ever sang it.

Lil Rounds: Beyonce - "Halo"
I'm not sure I have to give an explanation for this. It seems like if she doesn't perform this song, then it'd be the silliest thing for her to do, no?

Scott MacIntyre: The Fray "You Found Me"
Obvious Scott is most comfortable when he's at the piano, and last week he was a bit weak with his performance. However, this is the right kind of song for him to sing and perform that would bring a tear to anyone's eyes. A blind person singing about being found? Really? Couldn't you just weep thinking about it? By the way, hats off to Stevie Wonders' people for trying to cash in Motown week and his similar story to Scott MacIntyre and getting him on the show last week. Scott will have a career after Idol, and it will be exclusively to nice Christian-esque people and Moms.

Anoop Desai: A. R. Rahman - "Jai Ho"
Now before you think that I picked this song because he's brown and this is from a brown film featuring brown ppl, i will tell you: you're absolutely right. Why is he not milking this? The brown community must be dialing in full force whenever he's on (as they should, since he's genuinely quite good), unless they're all like my roommate Gurj and feel Brown Rivalry. However, since he likes R&B and playing up the sexy, he will probably do a fucking sick rendition of "Single Ladies" by Beyonce that will blow everyone's mind. Here are some references for him: The Fray's cover, & some other dude.

Megan Joy Corkery: Adele - "Chasing Pavements"
The judges have already marketed her as their own Duffy/Lily/Adele, so why not just run with it? She'll probably go with one of Katy Perry's 2 top 100 hits: "Hot N Cold" or "Thinking of You"... or if she's feeling feisty, which I really hope she is, she'll attempt the Lily Allen version of Britney Spears' "Womanizer".