THE SONGS THAT MADE YOU CRY AND THE SONGS THAT SAVED YOUR LIFE

First things first:
1. STOLEN TRANSMISSION Friday night will be a fucking amazing party. There are no lists. The only thing you need to get in is an ID saying that you're over 21.
2. It will be an after party for The Five O'Clock Heroes and Army of Me show at Rothko. The bands are playing at 10:30 and 9:30 respectively.
3. It will be Gurj's birthday party.
4. If you are in the OC, the Oohlas and Piebald are playing together at Chain Reaction. check out their poster.

I guess I didn't do the best job in proving my existance (or non-death). I didn't update the blog, i didn't really return emails, I didn't really sign onto AIM, I didn't go out... I just woke up. I just went to bed. I just woke up again and opened my eyes long enough to be tired enough to take a nap. Chronic fatigue, an odd symptom for me. When I was in London, all I wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and watch "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I went to Coachella and managed to have enough energy to stay awake, but when a bed was presented in front of me, nothing could pull me away -- not even the insistant spooning of a drummer whose face I used to stroke on my computer screen years before (scarily proving to myself that I can resist the advances of musicians to the point where I'm slightly off put by them... which is a huge change from how i used to be ... which was fantacizing about having a rockstar boyfriend... no more. i was so paranoid about being precieved as a groupie that the moment a boy tells me that he's in a band, i'm like, ugh... next.) But he was hot, this drummer. Rediculously hot. Any girl that manages to snag him is lucky. He's the vision of beauty and perfection and the epitome of what I wanted the boys i date to look like in 2003. Alas, it's 2005, and I have no idea what my type is anymore. Just no instruments, please.

I imagine that a Coachella update is due. But it seems like it was so long ago that there's nothing that can be said that hasn't already been uttered by every other blogger in the continental usa. Horah! The bands were great! The weather was amazing! I saw God during the arcade fire's set! I took 93 ecstasy pills through out the day (this is a lie) and whoa! I really can't divulge anything different from my experience that wouldn't:
1. seem show-off-y
2. appear to name drop
3. get me in trouble

(there i am on the left with ollie and kris federline) I will say that I danced with my eyes closed during New Order as a little kid of 2 or 3 years old did the same a couple feet away. Kris took a photo and showed it to Ollie Oohlas for a possible cover of their album. I was blown away by Autolux, which surprised me. Ollie had given me their cd a while ago and i was ehhh about it, but after watching them live, I can safely say that I think they're amazing. I thought for the longest time that it was the girl singing all the songs on the album and thought "fuck, the girl sounds like a boy trying to sound like a girl trying to sound like a boy." ... How delighted was i to find out that a dude was singing most of the time. The girl was an amazing drummer though, and sang one song, which I loved. I felt so lucky to be able to spend the entire day with Ollie and Kris. I managed to introduce Kris to everyone as Kris Federline (he's like an uncanny better looking version of him), and I was so excited to introduce Ollie to people as "Ollie from the Oohlas" and see them get excited. Ollie and Kris were the two most perfect people to be with because I love them and we all love the same music, and Kris bank rolled the booze.

the following text will be in white. if you want to read it, highlight the area that you think would include the text. this is so i dont appear to be 1. show-off-y, 2. name drop.

OK, so one of the biggest highlights came as i was watching Bauhaus. I left Karen behind at the Ravonettes' trailer to watch Bauhaus and as I was standing there while Peter Murphy was being lowered down by his ankles a la a bat, I was like "fuck, i wish i wasnt alone watching this and had a friend here with me," when at that moment, NIGEL FUCKING GODRICH and my friend Jill came up to me. Jill is an amazing person who informed me earlier that day (as i lay on the grass with her and Nigel spying on Michael Pitt and Justin Timberlake) that our mutual friend Cedric was gonna have a baby! Anyway, Nigel produced one of the greatest albums in the history of mankind and it's been my fucking desire to meet him for ages. It turns out that he's a huge Bauhaus fan and we totally dorked out together over the show. At every moment i wanted to grab him by the Radiohead sweatshirt he was wearing, shake him, and be like "YOUR PRODUCTION ON THAT ALBUM MADE ME WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON. IT MADE ME WANT TO GET INTO THIS WHOLE MUSIC BULLSHIT. IT MADE ME REALIZE HOW NEW MUSIC CAN STILL MEAN SOMETHING." I didn't. I just ooohed and aaaahed with him about Bauhaus and told him to check out their side projects of Love and Rockets and Tones on Tail. Apparently those two bands never really did anything overseas.

That night I went home with Karen and Elhaam. We were driven home by Nick Jago, whom is a little jumping bean of fun. We went back to the condo Karen and El were sharing with 39 other people (including the Amazing Peter, the gorgous girl-crush of mine Ali, and Nora) and I passed out. While passed out, I managed to miss the appearance of Carlos, Jenny Pens, Jason Bar-on, and Jesse Camp (?! ollie's neighbor!). Jenny stuck a finger in karen's nose to wake her up. Didn't work. I was sharing a twin bed with Karen and managed to sleep through it too, as did everyone else in the room I think. The next morning Nicola cooked everyone up some pancakes, which I ate, forgetting the Passover situation which plagued my vacation. Imagine my guilt when my mom called me to delightfully remind me that Passover would be over that night. "Right mom... thanks." I recieved that call (my ringtone was kasabian's "club foot"... and I had been talking to them moment earlier... sadly they missed that) just after I spotted shannon sossman at the vip desk in teh vip parking (where karen and i were waiting for gang of four for work reasons). I noticed her wearing a pin on her skirt that resembled Wham! I asked her if it was the band, she said no, and I told her "you'll always be george michael to me." Mind you, i forgot this until karen retold the story to me after i read something i forgot in her blog. My memory is THAT bad. I spent all of sunday in a partiuclar daze. I met up with my buddy Reilly who is in Thrice. Reilly and I know each other from the internet. we used to post on the same message board (the same one i know ollie and kris from ... we're all nerds), and so the four of us had a lovely nerd meeting. Funny place to meet your internerd friends -- in the VIP section of coachella after you've just played a set. nerd climax explosion.


I spent the next day with Jason Productshop, Halified, and Adam Productshop and some new friends (Vicki, Nancy, Collage) at the condo we rented for the weekend. The morning was spent in the pool, floating around aimlessly, swimming around aimlessly, feeling not-selfconcious for the first time in a bikini, cooking up corn on the grill (i'm on the left if you click the link... photo for the Thigh Master), and gulping up frozen margaritas. In the afternoon we decided to go to some random taco shack in the middle of no-where and then to Joshua Tree. Going to Joshua Tree was amazing. It's basically just a desert full of cacti and large boulders. Being clever, we played U2's Joshua Tree album on our way there. Ooooh, we're so clever. I bet we were the FIRST PEOPLE TO EVER DO THAT. Mind you, the photo of the band on that album's cover was taken in Arizona, not Joshua Tree National Park, California. Going there is something I never would've done if left to my own devices (ah, sweet lethargy), so I'm so happy that I was with a group of people that took on the initiative to have an adventure. For this, I'm totally thankful in God, as silly as that sounds. I've been to the pyramids of egypt, the wailing wall in israel, the pyramids in mexico, the eiffle tower in paris... and this desert -- something in my own country, was an experience I'd hold among those. Maybe I'm just being weird.

Interpol's "Not Even Jail" is playing on my stereo right now. Everytime I hear this song i get choked up by it's gorgeousness. Interpol is one of the few bands whose members I'm able to know on two levels: 1. Musician 2. Homies, and still love their music. When I listen to them I'm not like "oh! my buddy is singing/playing guitar/playing bass/playing drums!" I'm more like "oh, wow, i'm so lucky to be alive today so i get to hear such awesome amazing music."

When I got back to NYC on tuesday I went straight to the Continental to see MC Chris's show. He was hilarious and talked about fucking girls in the bellybutton with his small dick. I found out later that DJ John (MC's DJ) had his parent's in the audience. My mom would've had a heart attack and my dad would've climbed on stage during the show to drag me off stage in horror. John's parent's laughed.

After the show I went with Josh to Junior Sanchezzzz's birthday party at Happy Endings. Geo and Greg had just come from the Heeb party and showed me the issue which has a feature called the Heeb 100, which i guess is a bunch of jews that they like. I was among them, and had a photo in there and everything... take that NYPress! As silly as it sounds, i was honored that they chose me when they've got about several million other people to choose. I guess I was so excited that I found the need to drink to celebrate. By the end of the night I was taking swigs from the bottle and possibly yelling at Josh to hook me up with some dude he's friends with so i could make out. Josh, being the responsible sober one, managed to talk me out of it. He said -- the next day when I called him to tell him that i just had a flash back from the night before and it involved in peeing in the bathroom with no stalls as a group of people did coke (which i didnt do) and making out with one of my girlfriends -- that i appeared to be drinking with reason and that scared him a bit. I told him that he had met the old sarah for a night. Not sure how he felt about that. I haven't really had much to drink since, mostly cause I spent wednesday puking for about 15 hours.

Wednesday I went to see New Order at Hammerstein. HOLY MOLY DO I LOVE THEM. Not only did i get to see their show, but my friend Alex got me and my brother Lawrence backstage to meet the band. I sort of couldn't compute that the dudes standing near me in a dressing room were the same dudes responsible for "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and left.

Since then, I haven't really left the house (save for the STOLEN TRANSMISSION party at orchard bar on friday). If I have left the house I either don't remember or it was to get food with friends or to see my mom. No more parties. I'm not sure why. Whenever I'm out, all I can do is think about how I would like to be laying in bed. I guess that sort of explains why I haven't updated this blog much... when I'm home, I want to sleep. I dont want to be thinking of words and if I'm spelling them correctly or using proper grammer. I've also been working on my book, which has shockingly sold a few copies already on Amazon.com. My book agent told me they were doing a 50,000 first pressing. I was told that this is a lot of books. I'm not familiar with the book world (I hate to read even), so i had to be told that this was a significant book run. That makes me happy to know that someone believes in me enough to do that. I hope I don't let anyone down.

On a totally unrelated note, the other day I was flipping through the channels when I got to what appeared to be a really terrible teen movie. Terrible teen movies are typically so bad that they're amazing, so naturally I opted to watch it, without bothering to check out the info that Time Warner cable provides. So I'm sitting there, watching in disbelief over how terrible this shit was when I start to realize that I'm watching a porn. I click on the info button on my remote and discover that I'm watching SPIDERBABE, which, it turns out, is a soft-core lesbian porno remake of the movie of a similar name. So naturally I hit the record button on my DVR and let it play as I read message boards. I was hardly able to pay attention to the message boards due to the masturbation scene with caused Spiderbabe to cum a projectile spiderweb from her uh... exploding vagina. The following scene consisted of a newly sexualized Spiderbabe (who became a babe thanks to losing her glasses, getting a pair of fake eyelashes, and taking out her pigtails), a Chris Farley-esque annoying character, and a Brad Pitt-esque hotboy. As Spiderbabe made stink eye at fauxPitt, Fauxley kept on making raspberry sounds, jumping around like a spaztik gorilla, and being generally annoying. Spiderbabe's way of getting rid of him consisted of rubbing herself out through her pants and then launching a web from her twat to his face. THIS WAS FUCKING AMAZING GENIUS. Every person who has come over since recording this has been forced to watch this scene, and then requested to watch it about 30 times over while gasping for air from laughter. Karen laughed so hard that it was the silent laugh, and Jordan and Geo never grew tired of it. I'm so happy I DiVoed this.

Watch the trailer. Buy it.

Today I went out with Brian, whom is finally back from Thailand. We went for lunch and then went to check out some movie called Funny, Ha, Ha that he heard good reviews about. I hate complaining or criticizing other people's art because that's so unproductive and totally against the way i live... but I had a hard time enjoying this movie. The main character became more tolerable towards the end, but for most of the movie i just felt uncomfortable -- which i guess is the point of the movie. It just felt like I was watching the life of some Williamsburg hipster with her passiveness and indifference about everything. She reminded me of the girls I encountered years ago when the WB was starting to house hipsters... they were the girls (and boys) that erased any and all sense of excitement and joy from their way of speaking. Nothing contained exclimation marks. Nothing was cool and if it was, they didn't want you to know that they thought it was. They had a certain affected accent that didn't sound like the origin of birth. But most of all they sounded bored by life. I vowed never to sound bored by life. I love life. I'm just tired. I'm just sleepy. And all while watching this movie, this is all i could think about.

you are sleeping, you do not want to believe