WHEN YOU'RE NOT REAL YOU'RE POST MODERN

Karen is actually a good writer and a publicist, so she threw together this mock-press release for our NEW TUESDAY NIGHT PARTY:

MODERN ART, noun: a genre of the fine arts created from the mid-19th century which strayed from traditional techniques and styles.

Key words there?  Straying from traditional techniques and styles.  The Tarts of Pleasure have got that down pat!  For all of those nay-sayers who sniff at our DJ technique (yeah that is an f-in' iPod and CD mixer you see there), there are those like the kind folks at Paper Magazine who have chosen it as the ultimate in NYC DJ experiences.

The point is, MODERN ART defies logic and genre, and we have chosen to take that aesthetic back to the Dark Room where it belongs.  Our new Tuesday night party has no rules.  There will be good music.  There will be bad music.  There will be mainstream and indie.  Hell, we'll probably find reason to repeat artists multiple times a night.  It all ties in to the modern conception of bar-room DJ, an art form undoubtedly championed by the one and only Tarts of Pleasure!

MODERN ART TUESDAYS at the Dark Room
Ludlow St btw Houston and Stanton
11:30 pm – 3:30 am
Above all else, MODERN ART makes us want to rock out.


Karen wrote that.... I don't know how to write properly. I also would've bolded the wrong words.

Also, my friend Sydney has two tickets for sale for the Bon Jovi show tonight at MSG.
$180 for the pair.
section 119 Row D
ticketfast file... so it's a printable pdf file.
email Syd if you want to go: sydneyerinrose@yahoo.com

FREEDOM AT LAST

I love my friend Brandon. He's one of my best friends and we share a lot in common. However, there is one thing we don't share in common and that's politics. At least once a week we get into a discussion/debate about our views on America, and rarely are they the same. This week's debate came when I wished him a Happy Thanksgiving. This launched into your typical "america raped and pillaged the natives & made a race of people their slaves... I dont feel right celebrating this holiday" vs. "my family escaped religious persecution and went from having everything taken from them in Eygpt to having a properous life in America... and while the start of this country was less than ideal, the result has been good for many people."

My dad's cousin Enzo was telling us about going to school in Egypt. Each day at school one year consisted of the Nun/Teacher making her and 4 other girls stand in the front of class as the nun said to the other students "these girls killed Jesus." Eventually, Enzo told her mom about this and her mom informed her that it was the Romans. Enzo returned to school the next day, told the nun what her mom told her and if she disagreed she should phone her mother. The teacher no longer called the Jewish girls to the front of the class. Anyway, stories like this one are fairly common in my family and so I guess my feelings towards the holiday are a bit different than El Brando's.

Here is a WEE fraction of my family:


Here's some of the dinner spread... an Egyptian Thanksgiving. Check out the grape leaves, the turkey, the beets, beef stew, okra, pita, and turkey:


Anyway... I've been so inspired to cook lately, so the past two nights I've made dinner for Gurj.

Saturday night I made yellowfin tuna burger on a roll with pickled ginger and wasabi dressing, mashed potatos topped with teriyake sauce and a salad with balsamic vinigarette:


Tonight I made seared tuna steak over carmelized onion infused mashed potatos topped with string beans sauteed in butter. To go along with this dish, I made a wasabi sauce and drizzled the plate with teriyake sauce:

The tuna steak was a little well done... but that's how i like it.
I also made guacomole for Jordan and Feng-Feng. I'm too stuffed to even look at it, but it's great.

My next project is pumpkin ravioli in a butter sage sauce.

BURN OFF THOSE CALORIES

COME TO THE ORCHARD BAR TO NIGHT FOR STOLEN TRANSMISSION!!!

200 Orchard Street at Houston.

you know the drill...

MAZEL TOV!


I just wanna give a big Mazel Tov to Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman on their recent wedding. I don't know either of them, but I think they make a really cute couple. I've always had a soft spot for Xtina since reading an interview she did in Interview magazine back in 1999/2000 where she name dropped Basquiat in a way that made me actually think she knew what she was talking about. I always found her to be a bit brighter than people ever gave her credit for, and the fact that she married this Jordan guy when she probably could've had any back up dancer she wanted, makes me think that she knows what's up.

Now my question to anyone out there who might be in the know: Did she convert or did they just have a Jewish wedding? She's got a tattoo with hebrew letters on her arm (in honor of Jordan), and considering the wedding was a jewish one when it could've been secular makes me wonder if she has gone the Marilyn Monroe route of becoming a jewess. Anyone know?

In other news, Gurj and Jordan have the best blogs right now. Will somebody buy them some Chanel already?

Also, Nightmare of You have hit the road with the (International) Noise Conspiracy. Click Here for tour dates. Go to their shows and tell Brandon that I say hi. Chances are I'll be talking to him via sidekick when you do it so it'll be super trippy for him... not so much for me or you.

UH HUH... SURE... TELL ME MORE ABOUT STUFF

I'm watching Al Gore's new network Current TV. It's great in that sort of hip-made-for-high-school-educational TV. At times I find it a bit... too ... gentle. I want the voice overs to have a bit more command and less VH1 Classic feel. I think that after time they'll develop a stronger voice that is less "hey buddy... what's up" and more "hi. let me tell you something important in a way you'll understand".

Either way, all the tv people on Current are REALLY HOT. Makes it really easy for me to follow.


Oh, also, SPIN.com is having a contest involving me. Exciting!!!

DELIRIOUS LOVE

Monday night I was hanging at home with Brandon watching TV when Alex texted me to let me know that Neil Diamond would be on the Tonight Show that evening. Alex knows how much I LOVE Neil Diamond, so naturally, he knew to alert me. We changed channels immediately to NBC and i pressed record on my Divo.

Finally, he appeared performing the straight up folky "Delierious Love" with Brian Wilson singing back up. I got choked up. His voice booming and his swagger still intact.

I went with Jordan to Virgin Magastore on Tuesday to pick up the album (and about 10 other cds) and they played one of the new songs from the album over the PA. I nearly started crying. I told Brandon that Rick Rubin produced the album (you can hear it on myspace) and knowing that Jason Lader, the man who produced the Nightmare of You album, works with Rick on basically everything, he texted Jason to ask him about it. Jason suggested we listen to "Evermore." When I did I realized it was the same song they played at Virgin

There's a bit in the song that goes:
Do I Know You
Did I Ever
Thought I Did
Now I Know Better
Saw the Signs, But Not the Danger
How'd You Get to be a Stranger
At My Door

He sings about love in ways that shock and touch me.

You can hear "Evermore" for yourself by Clicking Here.

GOD WARRIOR!

This is awesome... Click Here.



Also, Jordan finally has a BLOG!!! Recommended if you like fashion. He's obsessed with talking about clothes and trends. He's also straight. I love his blog.

SEVEN DAYS A WEEK



click the picture above to purchase tickets.

THE NIGHT I BLACKED OUT

I don't remember much of Saturday night post 2am... or pre-2am. I forgot to eat dinner that night and had a bit too much to drink and the next thing I knew I was sort of stumbling around and attempting inappropriate things. Two friends brought me home. I passed out on the couch and one of them dutifully took off my boots, picked me up, and tucked me in. I woke up at 10am in a panic. How did i get here? Did i bring home my purse and other valuables? As I stumbled across my room still drunk (4 drinks?!?!? seriously, did someone roofie me?), i found that my friends managed to bring home the things I needed. I love my friends. They're so good to me.

Anyway, the night consisted of going to Bauhaus with Lawrence and then DJing Misshapes with Josh and Joel.

Click on the links to see photos.... like this one of me and my surrogate brothers:

YOU PROBABLY MISSED IT...

Whenever I go into the MTVu offices I never want to leave their lobby cause it's pretty much the only place where I can actually watch their channel (until i get a college boyfriend). Anyway, I was supposed to go to the Woodie Awards (which is the MTVu version of the VMAS), but I got stuck in Long Island with my gaggle of interns and missed them. I just saw that they posted the awards on their Uber site (which is mtvu online, sadly, only available on non-macs).

watch it

STUPID DOG

My friend Riley sent me this photo of his dog surfing the internet for porn and posting on message boards. His dad is in the shot too.

COME TO MISSHAPES

I'm Djing there tonight with Josh and Joel. I don't think I need to promote this, but Geo thinks otherwise. Bring a heavy jacket cause the line to get in will be long.

SORRY FOR THE REPOST

Karen and I forgot to include our friend Elhaam, and her party, Guilty Pleasures, on the flyer.

FUCK YOU CAT POWER

I mean, Thank you.

Cat Power - "The Greatest"

I suddenly want to drift away into nothing.

Thanks to Costa for sending this (and the spinto band) to me.

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES

How has my life changed since winning those Paper Magazine Awards? This has been the question asked by absolutely no one, but a question that I feel like I should answer. Well, the answer is: I sit at home watching family guy and getting stoned. I go to bed at night alone (minus the 39 different people crashing at my place). I thought that the night I won I'd be up to my ears in dudes, but I went straight home after dinner and crashed and have been crash landing ever since.

I love the winter.

Tonight, I think i'm hanging out with Brian. I think we might see a movie. I think I might pig out on popcorn. I think I might get an upset stomach. I think I might laugh myself to sleep while watching Degrassi and thinking about how much of a better soap opera my life would make for those canadian teen shows.

My friend Rob just had a baby on Halloween and every baby store I've passed has not gone unvisited by me. I walk in, throw down my credit card, and start spending for his little girl. Rob is like a brother to me -- the one man in my life that has no blood relation to me that i trust as much as the ones that do. If Rob told me that he thinks it would be a really good idea if I ran into traffic with my eyes closed, I'd do it. So his daughter, Kiera Ryann, is like my neice. And I want to eat her little fucking face.

I want a baby of my own one day. Sometimes I'll look at my guy friends and think of them as nothing but possible baby daddies. This one is tall. This one has good bone structure. This one has a history of alcholism/drug abuse. This one has a history of depression. This one has nice eyes. This one is never sick. That's how I've reduced my male friends in the wake of Rob's baby. Future sperm doners for the future baby that will be located inside my belly in a few years. When I turn to my many male friends and tell them that i plan on having a kid, they either offer their services immediately or leave the room. I sometimes feel like a woman at a sperm doner clinic reading the binders and trying to figure out if the guy who went to Yale but has a clubbed foot would make a better doner than the one who became a self made millionaire but never graduated high school.

That's what's been going through my mind since winning the Paper magazine award.

But back to the important things:

The Spinto Band will be playing a show on FRIDAY NIGHT at Pianos. Here are the details, tickets are still available but probably not for long:
Friday November 11th PianosNYC
www.pianosnyc.com
10:30 The Spinto Band
9:30 the Teeth www.theteeth.net
8:30 Buried beds www.buriedbeds.com
7:30 Marit Bergman
6:30 annekei

HOLY CRAP... Laura's favorite band of teenagers, Surefire are playing at Bowery. fuck yeah! Maybe I'll show up early if I can get tickets.

THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK... IN NO PARTICULARL ORDER





Also, I just want to say thank you to whomever did this at the subway station on 14th and 6th ave. My friend Lisa spotted it and took a picture with her sidekick. If you did this, email me: sarahlewitinn@gmail.com and let me know. I'll send you a present or something. If anyone else decides to do something like this, email me the photo and your address and i'll send you some shit. I'll post the photo. I love graffiti. I don't even know if i spelled that right.

FUCK YOU

you stupid fucking animals!!!!



that photo is so cute i want to punch the little dog in the face.

WOW WOW WEE WOW

Last night were the Paper Magazine Nightlife Awards. Karen and I won the most awards of the night... 3 in total, and we have you guys to thank for that! We were psyched, but it seemed as if NOBODY knew who we were, which was funny. Half the room were old school gays and club people who would never let us into their clubs if we showed up (suite 16, bungalo 8, etc). The other half were the new school gays and club kids who cheered us, which was really nice. I could actually hear people being like "huh?" from the audience when i went to collect my people's choice award for best DJ. Karen and I dedicated our Best Party award to the Misshapes for giving us our first chance to DJ as a duo.

I couldn't help but feel like a total idiot the whole night. I don't know why... probably because I really didn't feel like I deserved the awards. Best Promoters? We laughed. We feel like we're terrible promoters. Best Party? Well, we were stoked on that one, but the irony is how little monitary compensation having the best party actually throws your way. Best DJ? Whenever I manage to match a beat Karen and I look at each other in complete shock and high five each other. We can't even land the high fives.

I can't speak for any of the other awards we won without Karen, so I'll just say that winning the Best DJ (people's choice) was a bit of a surprise. There were DEFINITELY more qualified people up there... I guess I really just have to thank all of you who voted for me. Thank you so much.

I realized half way through the night that a few of my friends were missing. I have been so overwhelmed by work (I have two FULL time jobs, ack), and travel and living an episode of Degrassi, that I forgot to call a couple of really important people to let them know about the awards and to make sure that they came (bri, nik). I felt like a total jackass and could hardly enjoy myself for most of the night. One friend that came was Alex who works with me at stolen transmission the record label. Alex is a dude. He doesn't have a single bone that protudes obscenely due to rocking the coke chic look of most of my guy friends. He has full sleeve tattoos and wears snow board brand clothes. He beats up dudes at bars. This was the sort of scene he's not used to and at one point of the night i turned to him and said "i can read the look on your face: you're thinking that this is a window into my social life and you're not sure if you want any part of it." "you took the words right out of my mouth" he said as he pat me on the back.

The rest of the night was spent getting run over by people whom were either mad at us for winning, couldnt see me cause i'm so short, or really wanted to get a drink from the bar. Karen and I literally got elbowed and shoved all over the place. Even when you're a winner, you can feel like a total fucking loser.

thanks for making the following possible:
Best Promoters (the tarts of pleasure)
People's Choice Award for Best Party (stolen transmission)
People's Choice Award for Best DJ (ultragrrrl)