COUGH COUGH

I think I've got the black lung. All weekend long, I've spent my mornings, afternoons, and evenings coughing up a storm. My days working in a coal mine are far behind me, so I assumed it was a cold finding its way to me, or even worse, a flu. Alex and Eric over at stolen transmission have both been afflicted with the delightful flu, so it was only a matter of time before it was my turn. Each year i get the flu about twice a season, and somehow I managed to avoid it up until now... and catching it early would be my only line of defense. So i stayed in, bundled up by the heater, and my aching limbs are gonna make it through! No full on flu! No!

While sick, I've been watching Fuse for the past couple hours... How many times will I see a Hawthorne Height's commercial? probably about 10 times an hour.

But thankfully, people have been nice enough to hit me up with awesome links all day:

Sasha the intern sent me this link of cute animals. The hippo/tortoise link is worth everything in the world.

I found talking cats on there... wow.

Remember that Fallout Boy stick figure thing? Gurj sent me one that is of Brand New's "The Quiet Things No One Ever Knows" that might actually top it... well, if you're a Brand New fan.. or maybe not. give it a shot. All i know is that i laughed so hard, i went into convulsions.

Also, my friend Brian Montuori is one of my most favorite friends. He's involved in the artworld and every once in a while he'll give me an amazing portrait of like, Neil Diamond, where his pubic hair is neil's chest hair... or enrich my life with new information about the very bizarre sex acts of extreme gays that he learns when talking to other artists (for instance... some get their nutsack skin replaced with clear material so they can see their balls retract when they cum). Anyway, there's this show that Brian told me about where this this guy in his mid 40's found this teenage girl named lindsey on myspace and became obsessed with her and made a show of huge paintings based on the photos in her profile. You can see these massive paintings for yourself. More info here.

While we're on the topic of Brian Montuori and myspace (you can see him on My MySpace page reading a porno mag... add me as a friend!), i think now would be as good of a time as any to repost one of those questionnaires that he filled out for MySpace. Anytime I need a laugh, I read it... cause I saved it. It was that funny:

-Currents-:-
Current mood: Tired and Hungover
Current music: swedish hardcore band Victims
Current taste: water
Current hair: short. i got "what are you in joy division?" last night.
Current clothes: jeans, grey hood with montuori logo on hood, gesai 2 t-shirt
Current annoyance: the cold weather
Current smell: oil paint
Current thing I ought to be doing: work
Current desktop picture: tv test signal lines
Current book: the internet is nature's book
Current cd in stereo: victims
Current crush: kristin baker, she's hot but i hate her paintings
Current favorite celeb: probably a c-lister. dolph lundgren and such.
Current hate: my hate is non-denominational

-Do You-:-
Have sex?: whenever i can.
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: just that "master race" one.
Remember your first love? yes
Read the newspaper?: no
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: as a straight, i'm the minority in my field.
Believe in miracles?: i believe in circumstances alligning properly.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: to yourself, yes.
to others, no.
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: no. get your shit together.
Consider love a mistake?: mistake is a loaded word. it can be both a
good or bad accident
Have a favorite candy?: gummy bears
Believe in astrology?: not really
Believe in magic?: just black magic
Believe in god?: i believe in me. i hope you believe in you.
Have any piercings?: not anymore
Have any tattoos?: i've officially lost track of the number.
Hate yourself: sometimes
Have an obsession? several thousand.
Have a secret crush? jodie foster.
Do they know yet? no, but the president will soon enough.
Have a best friend?: "extended network" kegger this weekend.
Wish on stars?: no
Care about looks?: i have a job in visuals. i have to.

-:- L-O-V-E L-I-F-E -:-
First crush: emily zecher. we're only friends now after the shit hit
the fan at age 13.
Single or attached? i'm married to the sea.
Ever been in love?: once or twice
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yeah
Do you believe in "the one?" no
Describe your ideal significant other: an italian girl who can cook
1/2 as well as her mother.

~~~~~~~~~RANDOM SHIT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Blue
Height: 6'

-:-Last thing you-:-
Bought: lunch
Ate & Drank: berry candy, iced tea

-:-EITHER / OR-:-
Club or houseparty: house party 2
Cats or dogs: i hate stray hairs in my studio.
Pen or pencil: Pen
Gloves or mittens: gloves
Food or candy: birthday cake is the best of both worlds.
Cassette or cd: cd
Coke or pepsi: Coke

-:-Who do you want to-:-
Kill: i keep trying to paste the list here but it says the text has
too many characters for this box.
Look like: i've been told jaoquin phoenix and russell crowe. i feel
it's neither, but never pass up the opportunity to watch "gladiator"
Be like: the next francis bacon or the first brian montuori
Avoid: the IRS

-:-Last person you-:-
Talked to: hoss-sam
Hugged: a porcelain lady named american standard
Instant messaged: cutthroat connors in LA

-:-Where do you-:-
Eat: about 7" down from the top of my head. about 36" down from the top of hers.
Cry: i'll go into an abandoned mta tunnel
Wish you were: smoking pot with amazon women on a private jet to iceland

-:-Have you ever-:-
Dated one of your best friends?: yeah
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: when i was younger
Broken the law?: yup
Broken a bone?: never
Played Truth Or Dare?: a long time ago

-:- What is -:-
The most embarrassing CD in your collection?: the firestorm ep.
Your bedroom like?: 1/4 of my apartment
Your favorite thing for breakfast?: birthday cake
Your favorite restaurant?: myfuni in saitama japan. a sushi joint
owned by an ex-cop, run by the yakuza, and broadcasts a pirate rock
radio station sunday nights right from the sushi bar.

-:- Random Questions -:-
what's on your bedside table: there is no bedside table
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: i only have
condiments right now
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?: time of the wolf, cremaster 3
What is your biggest fear?: a 300 foot tall walking marshmallow
attacking new york while i'm here.
What feature are you most insecure about?: i can't look people in the
eye for very long
Do you ever have to beg?: no, i get what i want.
Are you a pyromaniac?: you can take the boy out of the fireworks store but...
Do you have too many love interests? non-human maybe
Do you know anyone famous?: I work with a lot of them
Describe your bed: mattress, pillows, sheets, blanket
Spontaneous or plan?: plan and then it goes to shit and then spontaneous
Do you know how to play poker?: no
What do you carry with you at all times?: my ego
What do you miss most about being little? other people being big
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for
one year?: a night of drinking, convincing, and a blowjob.
What was the last song you were listening to?: rise above by black flag
Have you ever been in a play?: yes
Do you talk a lot?: yes. i talk a lot out of my ass too.
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? i must
Do you think you're cute?: paul fucking newman
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? not the
person themself, more the fact that those in charge and power allow it
to happen.
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?: sometimes
What is the first thing you think when you see two gay guys or
lesbians holding hands?: i must be back in chelsea