TIME WONT LET ME GO

I forgot that when i post things on myspace, it doesnt count as posting on my blog... whoops. The Oohlas are on tour with Men, Women, and Children... traveling from the westcoast to the east coast where they'll be playing at BAMBOOZLE... the same festival a little band i kinda LOVE called MUSE.

Check this poster thingy for dates:


I just came home from a whirlwind couple of weeks. I was in California for five days, where i visited San Francisco for the first time since I was 10. I love SF. Love it! I went to DJ Popscene cause the Photo Atlas were playing. Popscene is like a legally younger version of Misshapes but a bit more carefree and less fashion oriented. The kids all seemed to love the Photo Atlas, and I loved the kids. I will be back in June for the BFD, djing the Popscene pre-party.

When I got home from California, I got one of the worst emails a person could get -- it was from my brother telling me and my other brother to visit our sick aunt in the hospital asap. She'd been diagnosed with cancer a couple years ago, and it amazingly went into remission (she had intestinal cancer). A few weeks ago she started getting sick again, and the email from Lawrence was to let me and Albert know that her kidneys had failed and she was in the hospital on morphine to deal with the pain. I landed at 845pm, got the email, i couldnt call my family because my sidekick was fucking broken. I finally got through via a payphone and was told to go to the hospital the next day with Albert.

So I went the next day to New Brunswick to visit my aunt Jenny. She was unconscious for the most part, occasionally opening her eyes to look at my brother, or her daughter, or son. About 2 minutes after I saw her for the first time in a while, I ran out of the room to cry hysterically by the vending machines. She looked like half the person i knew. The person I knew had more life and energy than basically anyone else I'd ever met. She was louder than any person I'd ever met (save for my dad, maybe), and loved food more than any person I'd ever met. As she was lying there in bed, she gave some sort of movement/acknowledgment to a conversation about food that we were having. It was amazing, and I really thought that maybe she'd pull through.

I was in a state of shock when I left. I took the subway to the t-mobile store to buy a new sidekick -- figuring now was the time to get it... in case of an emergency. Unbelievably, the person selling me my phone forgot to put the battery (and th back of the phone) in the box because he got distracted by some dude that was looking (?!??!?!) at him. I didnt find out about this until I got home and opened the box to charge my phone. I guess the stress of the early afternoon started to add up in my mind and i just burst out in tears, hysterically crying in brandon's lap until i couldnt cry anymore. I knew what was happening to my aunt and i felt so sorry for my dad who was losing one of his best friends.

I couldnt leave the house all weekend, or do much else. I went to work on monday and tuesday, and could hardly focus. Finally, wednesday morning at 7:30am gurj came into my room saying my brother was on the phone (i accidentally left my phone in the livingroom), and i knew what was up. Two hours later I was at my aunt's funeral in brooklyn. It was almost a relief... or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

I had to leave for Florida the next morning for a mandatory A&R conference for Island/DefJam. Obviously I felt terrible for leaving my dad, and even worse knowing that I was somewhere that was very special for him and his sister. The whole time I was there, the food was amazing and never ending -- which made me sadder. All I could think about was how much my aunt Jenny would love the food.

I was having this amazing experience of traveling with people that I work with and love, and getting taken to town by Jay-Z of all people, but I couldnt bring myself to go out. I was so depressed about everything... which made me eat more and drink more and that just made the sadness worse. I even turned down an opportunity to go to Pawnshop to hang out with Muse. I turned down getting VIP treatment at whatever club I wanted because i was JayZ's posse... but i didnt turn down going to Nobu and eating the place clean. Food is something I will never turn down -- partying is something I might always turn down.

God, i didnt mean for this to be such a buzzkill.

The hotel was incredible and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to stay there and get things paid for.

But now i'm happy I'm home.