SO FUCKING TIRED

Just like the title of this thread says, I'm really exhausted.

There's a line from a Brand New song that goes "I read more maps than books" and relate to it more than I'd like. I'm not the kind of person who likes to travel. I used to be. I used to have a different boy in whatever city I went to, or find a boy in whatever city I went to, so I had someone to dance with and kiss at the end of the night. But now I'm basically hitched up and flying away from my little family doesn't excite me.

Also, a few years ago, after I left Spin, and while I was finishing up my book, I went to London to visit a boy I had loved. I had previously spent a couple months drinking energydrinks like it was water, and so when I went to London and didn't have my supply, I crashed hard. I didn't want to go out on the town, I just wanted to lay on my friend's bed watching curb your enthusiasm. When I got home, I had a panic attack about basically wasting a wonderful opportunity, and since then, going away hasnt been the same.

So monday night I went out with Rob Stevenson and our friend Chris Kelly (who introduced us). We went to my current favorite Korean BBQ called Bann, and I had a few too many Sakes.... this was all on an empty stomach so I got wasted. After dinner I met up with Brandon at Pianos "for a drink", and decided it was too cold so I went outside to stay warm. I ended up wondering into a boutique, trying on a dress, and then stumbling back into poanos where I guess, in my drunken state I was finally able to convince brandon that it was time to go home. Once I got home, I apparently turned into a comedian before falling into bed. The old days.

Anyway, you would think that in my inhebriated state, I'd be able to calm my nerves and fall asleep well. But no. At 530am I was up and at 'em... sitting on the web for afew hours in bed. I was panicing about something going wrong in a day trip to cleveland I was about to take at 130pm. I kept on thinking that something woukd go wrong.... this is me everytime I go away. I just panic. Being away from my stable scares me. Its like how some people are afraid of snakes or heights or flying - I'm scared of travel!

I managed to calm down. I'd be gone for less than 24 hours, so what could go wrong?! Brandon, knowing how I am about traveling, helped me get my shit together so I wouldn't miss my flight AND wouldn't forget my phone and blackberry chargers. I only needed a purse since my change of clothes (a dress) could fit in there.

When I got to the airport, my flight was delayed, meaning i'd miss my connecting flight... shit's starting to get fucked, but I stay calm. The airport people switch me to another flight and another airline so I can make my meeting in Cleveland on time. See, I was going to Cleve to take the Horrors and Schoolyard Heroes out to dinner with the staff of Alternative Press.... Stolen Transmission's treat. I had rationed out my expenses so that we could have a great meal. The whole point of the trip was the dinner.... and the show, but mostly the dinner. The show was taken care of, but dinner - the introductions, the conversation conduits, and especially the creditcard - was my job.

So with the new flight arrangements, I'd arrive in Cleve a half hour before I had intended, but still with an hour and a half to get to the dinner. I got myself some auntie anne's pretzel sticks, sat down and relaxed. About 20 min later, I looked down and noticed the butter from the pretzels had seeped into my favorite new dress! A giant grease stain right in the front, on my thigh. NOOOOO! Not only was this one of my favorite dresses, but it wasn't exactly cheap AND it was the 1 of 2 dresses I had with me - the other being a courtney love-esque slip dress that looks better at night when its ok to wear a slip dress.

I ran over to the auntie annes and asked for club soda and salt.... a trick I learned from all those Curb episodes I watch. I got the soda, but the salt was a bit tricker.
"We don't have salt."
"You don't have salt?!"
"No."
"ORLY? Your a pretzel stand without salt?? How do you SALT your pretzels?"
"Oh yeah, but those are bit salt things."
"Well, can I please have some?"
"Uh...."
"Please! Look at this stain, its like I had my period from the front!"

Fastest way to get salt. Hands down.

It took me a while to work that stain, but I finally got most of it out, but not all. So in my little gray slip I teetered out of the bathroom and to my chair.

The flight got delayed 45 min, so I called AP and let them know. I was cutting it close, but itd work. I finally got on the plane... and waited. And waited. And 2 or 3 hours later we were flying. Now, obviously, dinner had to be called off. I was set to arrive at 9. I could be at the venue at 930. SYH were to go on at 10. This whole thing was a bust. A total bust.

I tried to make the best of it. I took Leslie Simon and Jason Pettigrew on the bus with me to meet the horrors, talk about records, british music journalism, and to meet Faris' turtle named Turtle ("it works well for the both of us" he said about it's name). He also started ironically calling me "baby"... I think he mustve overheard Brandon call me that or something...

We watched SYH and I was just so excited watching Ryann on stage. I heard someone yell to their friend "she's like siouxie sioux!" yes!!!!! At one point, while Ryann was going through the crowd singing, I ran up to her and planted a kiss on her cheek. I couldn't help myself! Jonah read from stage from a book about zombies I picked up for him from the airport bookstore. $10 well spent!

SYh have is amazing colored vinyl with flet sleeves that glow in blacklight. Only 1000 were made so if you see them, get it.

The Horrors were amazing as always. I always make the mistake of looking away at their shows - usually at friends to say "I love this!!!!!". Whenever I turn back, Faris is floating in air or climbing on the ceiling or spazzing on the floor or dragging a bench on stage with pettigrew. When at one point I saw him sitting on the floor in the middle of the audience, I turned to Ryann and said "lets pick him up!" we ran over and tried, but he was too heavy so I pushed him instead. He threw ice at me, stood up, and started to mosh. A little tip: if Faris goes into the audience, he wants to be touched. He wants to be pushed and taunted a bit. Be respectful, but just give him something to work with.

I teased the band a bit from the side of stage, screaming "OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS ARE LIKE SOOOOOOO AWESOME!" hahaha.

After the show I found Joshua by the bus talking to a fan that looked exactly like him (whom I thought WAS him for a min when I saw him in the venue). I took pictures of them together. Joshua started making fun of my voice for about 5 minutes, so I got video of that.... and then showed me how he can do Karen and JennyPenny's voice, which are strangely simmilar, but in a diff octave.

Once everything had been loaded, we went to the winebar next door for wine and cheese. My raison d'etre finally happening when I laid down my credit card to treat everyone. Jonah discovered he liked goose liver pate (after being force fed it by his dad as a kid), Joshua thought Ryann and I were related and had a kosher Bloody Mary cos apparently he's a Jew (kar, did u know that? Or is he lying?). Faris drew the whole time and made a drawing of me on his hand where I have really nice hair, but teeth coming out of my nose (I have a pic of that too.... ill post later.) The rest of the Heroes drank the amazing italian wine I ordered. I think that Brian the drummer looks like a ginger version of an ex of mine, which is weird and endearing since I adore that ex. It was decided that Steve will have a gray afro when he's old, and Jason's friend said sitting next to Faris was better than sitting next to Robert Plant. Amazing!

I got back to Leslie's at about 3. Woke up at 745am to get my cab and make my 930 flight back home... a connecting flight.... only to discover that it was delayed until 1 and I wouldn't be home until about 4.... instead of 1pm as expected.

Did I mention how much I hate to travel?