Tuesday, February 26, 2008

IT'S TIME TO GET PERSONAL

It's been a while since i've been really personal on this thing and since I'm finally almost positive that nobody is reading this -- like it was in the old days when i started this blog and would blog in detail about my daily adventures -- i feel like i can be personal again. Which is good, because i have terrible memory and need some sort of memory helper. i know that keeping a personal diary might be better, but i lose everything, so i guess i'll keep some shit in code or something.

Since i sit at home most of the day working infront of the TV, I watch a lot of Law&Order. A lot. I prefer SVU and Criminal Intent because i fucking love Vincent D'Onofrio and how his character tilts his head whenever he's figuring something out.

One thing that stands out is how much they deal with sociopaths. Brandon ended up buying a book about sociopaths and I ended up looking it up on wikipedia, which led me to Antisocial Personality Disorder, which is basically an offshoot of sociopaths.

I started noticing that there are a couple of sociopaths in my life. It's a pretty big statement to suggest that someone is a sociopath, but i'm also the perfect person to attract sociopaths. I'm very forgiving and want to believe that everyone is essentially good and mean no harm. I'm a championt of the underdog, and if i see someone in need, I want to help them out and take them under my wing and let them into my life. This has caused me to get very hurt by people whom I thought were very close to me.

I was able to confirm the chance of certain people in my life as being a sociopath when I sent the description to a couple of mutual friends and said "does this sound like anyone we know?" Only to find that the friends said the same people. Weird.

Thankfully, the people who fit that description I've naturally weeded out of my life, or they were weeded out for me by caring friends. It's kinda weird when you look back at years of friendship and realize the shit that was going on, and the lack of emotion from people, or lack of caring, and how truly distrubing it is.

Thinking about this all made me think about how some musicians could possibly qualify as sociopaths. Their dual personalities, the excessive drinking, the promiscuous behavior, their charm, intelligence, need to move around a lot. It got me to remembering a conversation I had with someone a while back who was telling me about her early experiences with a singer of an extremely popular emo band. How he would lie about things constantly, fuck over close friends, and one thing that threw me for a loop - fuck larger girls just so he could call them fat in the middle of banging them. Maybe that dude is a psychopath rather than a sociopath. I dont know. I'm not a head doctor. Or maybe hes just messed up. Maybe they're all just messed up and I'm too focused on the symptoms of sociopaths because of Law&Order, to think that something else might be wrong.

21 comments:

Gurj said...

"...dual personalities, the excessive drinking, the promiscuous behavior, their charm, intelligence, need to move around a lot."

Yup, Monkey is definitely a sociopath

Sarah said...

you hit the nail right on the head.

Anonymous said...

interesting post. i definitely sympathize since i have recently weeded some friends out of my life.

Lawrence said...

"...intelligence..."? Monkey is the dumbest dog ever. Must be Bella.

Anonymous said...

i've been weeding out some friends in my life, too. it's painful and sad, but sometimes necessary.
can you give us one more hint about who this emo band is?

MEIK! said...

definitely keeping up on the daytime law and orders. I love vincent's hand gestures and how he'll put a piece of paper in front of a suspect he's interviewing. uh oh I think my last blog would be a little sociopathic. But it was written in third person fake fiction.

Anonymous said...

Sarah, it's an Aquarius thing. We are like that, always trying to help someone. All the Aquarius' I know would qualify to be a Mother Theresa...almost. I attract these type of people all the time and have yet to learn my lesson..prob never will because it's just in my nature.

Anonymous said...

Patrick Stump aint exactly fit himself... who is he to call a gal husky?

Sarah said...

is it an aquarius thing? i guess that would make sense, most aquarians i know are very loving.

as for the emo singer in question.... they're very popular right now, the singer is good looking, and they suck. most people reading this blog probably have never heard of them.

Anonymous said...

Sarah...i still read your blog. When I returned back from England two years, I decided I needed to get all the poisonous people out of my life. Only positive, loving people who embraced me flaws and all. I wanted to fade the drama in my life to a minimal.

I may now have less people to go out on the town and see shows with but boy is my life so much more enjoyable. Plus, I am big fan of staying home watching law and order these days.

A few days ago, a noticed that one of the victims was the neighbor down the hall. i was psyched....

Anonymous said...

antisocial personality disorder is just the new DSM classification of a sociopath-you know how they're always changing the names of these things.

it's not surprising that you know a few sociopaths with the line of work you're in. they're unstable, but charming people. not surprisingly, they thrive in nightlife situations...

weeding them out is a good idea; they're nothing but heartache and a headache.

-e

Anonymous said...

uuugg what is it with the young emo bands. i work at a radio station and the worst experience i ever had was with a very successful emo/pop band. they wouldn't come out of the green room because the promoter wouldn't provide them with rolling papers or a bottle of very expensive wine(not all of the members were of age and the venue knew that). The meet and greet was cut short after the lead singer called a 12 year old girl fat and her mom almost attacked him. I wanted to throw a vegetarian Panera Bread Sandwich at him. God only knows were probably taking about the same person.

Anonymous said...

Such an interesting post. I too am having difficulties in this area of my life at present. Though not in the Music industry I am involved heavily with the Arts,(I attend a 'Method Acting' Institute in NYC).
It seems as though it's almost a personality prerequisite for my fellow Actor's to be dysfunctional. I have noticed increasingly extreme cases of Sociopathy and Antisocial personality disorder. It's frustrating as I have to try to collaborate with these people in the studio on a daily basis, attempt to maintain partial sanity, absorb knowledge, and try to refrain from judging too much...I coincidentally am Aquarius too - maybe the whole 'caring, humanitarian' aspect of our sign makes us susceptible to these people's devices...

Sarah said...

To the radio station person - OMG, I would be $10 we're talking about the same dude/douche. Hit me up on email and we can be coy about it til we know. sarah@stolentransmission.com

To the actor... I would suspect actors are typically sociopathic. When I was younger I vowed never to date one... how could aperson date someone who so-covincingly lie as a profession.

Anonymous said...

if i had to guess...the person's first name would be martin or shaant. cause they're in popular emo bands and they BLOW

Chell said...

Aquarius is an air sign...that's why its so easy for people to blend with us. Oprah is a Aquarius...but then again so is Paris Hilton...so their goes my theory.
anyway...in astrological terms we are the "nice" people of the zodiac and the weirdest and the smartest. We are the shit! My friend called me a "lettuce" once. She said some shit about lettuce absorbing water...and that I'm the same way, I absorb people and their problems.

Anonymous said...

my upstairs neighbor is a sociopath...or maybe a psychopath. all i know is i can't get a moment's peace living in my apartment, due to the fact that the person who lives upstairs is constantly dropping things on the floor every day and night constantly. wtf?! arrrghghghghghhgh!!! i need a new apartment!

Anonymous said...

Psychopathy, Sociopathy and Anti Social Personality Disorder are all the same thing, FYI. They are just different names for the same personality disorder.

I definitely agree with the necessity of weeding out toxic people and surrounding yourself with positive people, who support you and love no matter what; people who you can learn from and who will help you grow rather than hindering you.

I learned that lesson at 21, and I'm 27 now and no longer have the energy for drama in my relationships.

Alex said...

Wow. You're just like me.

After reading your post I also went to wikipedia to find out more about what it was... and much to my relief I found that none of my friends seem to really qualify as sociopaths. But even so it made me really think about the people I surround myself with all the time. I am SO like you - I go to such great lengths to try and get close to people, even if they've done some pretty horrible things, just because nobody else will want to hang out with them. I never really realized that about myself until now.

I think you should "get personal" more often on this blog. Because when you do, it's usually very interesting and thoughtful... this really made me think.

Mac said...

"...due to the fact that the person who lives upstairs is constantly dropping things on the floor every day and night constantly...."

Is the name Patrick Bateman on the mailbox? Might be dropping bones and stuff.

But I relate, my upstairs neighbor drops what sounds like a screwdriver everyday between 5:30-6:30 p.m.
And he is not a mechanic.

LaShaunda said...

I went to the site and realized that I have had some sociopaths in my life too, but yes, they weed themselves out very quickly. The thing about these friends are that not only do they take as much as they can, physically and emotionally, or the fact that they don't give anything in return either but the principle that they don't seem to appreciate anything. Wack jobs.

I love Law & Order. SVU is my favorite, but I will watch any and all them for 24 hours if somebody lets me sit there and do it. lol

I would love to know who this douche bag is. I can't think of many extremely popular emo bands... and none with good looking singers lol. I have heard on several occasions that Martin from BLG was the extreme douche of the scene.