C'MON ITS TIME FOR SOMETHING BIBLICAL

T-Minus a couple of days before Muse play NYC and the Mystery Girls in Philly have emailed me saying they bought me a ticket to the Kyber show and are insisting i come down for that. The offer is enticing.

Passover in Miami has been a lot more work then expected. My mom has been working me and my brothers non stop (the amount this woman can cook and clean is shocking), and my tan just isn't happening. I'm looking out my window right now and there's a pretty heavy overcast at the moment, but the beach is about 50 feet away, so the second some clouds decide to part ways I'm running out the door.

All of my family -- from my mom's sisters and brother and cousins to my dad's sisters and brothers and cousins -- is here in the same apartment complex. They sit by the pool talking in arabic and nagging about something or talking about their kids. My cousins -- who are my age -- are either looking for husbands or schlepping their kids around. Adorable kids. I can't keep track of their names half the time, but thankfully most of the boys under the age of 15 are named Morris.

My first night in Miami I went with my brother to a sort of Matzah Ball at Tantra. It was like a meat market for Syrian Jews from Brooklyn who were all there to meet their future husbands and wives. I was pretty much the outcast of the bunch because I never attend these functions so nobody knows my deal. I guess it's for the best since I'm not really in the market for a husband... despite my mom's begging. A few of my cousins showed up and it was awesome seeing them because I dont really get to that often... but after a couple hours of the untz untz, i had to go home.

The following night I met up with one of Brian's friend's, Monica, at a party called Spider Pussy. It was a total nyc party with cute kids dancing to indie rock and new wave. Josh from Revolver, whom i had met a couple months earlier at Lit, was there and we hung out a lot of the night. He invited me to DJ for a bit the next night (last night) at Revolver, which was fucking nice as shit, so after shabbat dinner with my family Lawrence and I drove to the design district and partied it up tiswas style over there. Revolver is a totally fantastic party that's probably the sanctuary for most Miami kids who would rather listen to the white stripes then ace of base. All my friends who have either lived in miami or visited insisted that i check it out and i'm so glad they did. I had a fucking great time and Josh is a great host. I haven't seen a club with such a great set up in so long that I was in club design heaven. Plus, the DJs were totally fantastic and everyone was so nice and all the girls had fucking fantastic little bodies that -- even me and my raging heterosexuality -- was like, whoa. My bro fell in love with this mohawked lesbian who made his night by making out with another girl and then taking off her top. Miami is awesome.

Not sure what's happening today in my little adventures in Passover. Hopefully the sun will come out, i'll sit underneath it with my 20% russian blood trying to hold on to the incredibly fair skin that i have, and tan. Viva Skin Cancer!