Thursday, April 29, 2004

COACHELLA HELLA HELLA WORD

OK, I'm off to Coachella where, if you're going, you might spot me doing this at some point. You may also see me falling into about 40 thousand epileptic seizures due to the heat and incredible line up. I am not sure my heart can handle seeing Radiohead and the Pixies back to back, and then Muse and the Killers back to back, but if I die I'll be listening to The Killers as I float up to the heavens.

If you're looking for something to do tonight, I'm DJing at Pianos from 10-11pm. Karen promised to bring the Cooper Temple Clause by so i can see their hair up close, but I might be gone by the time they get there. Tonight will be a good night for you to "accidently" spill drinks on me incase I accidently spilled a drink on you in the past while i was drunk... or, if you know, if you walked at full speed into me causing you to spill your drink on yourself and got offended when i said "hey, watch out" in a cautionary voice because i dont really like to be run over by pedetrians, and it happens a lot since i'm really really short. Or if you were one of those innocent people who got hit by my drive-by beer shower at misshapes last week. I am SO sorry about that!

If you're gonna be in town this weekend, i strongly urge you to check out a band called Snowden at Plaid on April 30 or Pianos on May 1. I'm really sad that i'll be missing them and Jasper informs me that they're fantastic live. I suggest you at least check out: "Kill The Power", especially if you've liked anything I've ever recommended.

Alright. Say hi to me if you see me at Coachella! Bye!

RASTERBATING IS FUN FOR EVERYONE!

My room is awesomely haunted now. I sort of want to do this to every wall of my apartment. so much fun. So much awesome. Ian Curtis watches me watch TV.

Go here if you want to try your hand at this really easy way to spice up your room for next to nothing.

you can take any image you want, blow it up, and print it on your printer using regular paper. it makes your image into pixels over as many sheets as you want (mine was about 56 sheets), and then you just tape them together. it's really simple. i recommend it to everyone!



Wednesday, April 28, 2004

MAZZEL TAZZLE! JASON AND DEBBI ROTH ARE PREGGERS!

Sometimes I wish the world was as gorgeous as a British Sea Power song. I have no idea when I got so emotastic, but let me just sit and love on them for a minute. If, on our ascent to the pearly gates, any of us gets a pick of what we want for our soundtrack, I think today I would say "Please, St. John or Paul or whoever you are, please hook me up with some BSP." Tomorrow I might pick Franz Ferdinand or Interpol, or any other band I'm growing increasingly retarded for, but today, today I'm requesting God hooks me up with British Sea Power.

Since I'm on a BSP kick, I decided that I would take a moment to see if the friendly neighborhood photographer, Jasper, had any photos of them on his site. The thing about the way Jasper takes photographs is that he makes every band look like they'll be as wonderful and majestic as British Sea Power, yet he's never shot the band, and if he has, he hasn't graced us with their photos. Obviously, the other photos he has up there are well worth you wasting about a half hour trying to decide which one you wanted to Rasterbate. I've sort of been obsessed with this image for some time, so last night, I did some rasterbation to it.

After I resterbated, I went to Pastis to meet up with Lance Crapo (whose name I'm putting here in full so when people google him they'll know the company he keeps). We had a lovely dinner outdoors and caught up on things as the wind blew receipts into our food and dust in his eyes. I never get to see Mr. Crapo these days, so the times I do are never long enough. Somehow he managed to push the right button on me which left me no choice but to attempt to do a round house kick to his head while standing in the intersection of 14th and Hudson as cabs tried to drive on. Naturally, because he's a ninja, he managed to capture my foot in mid swing, inches from his head. I wouldn't have kicked him hard, but just enough to teach him a lesson. Moments later we were standing outside of Lotus so we could attend some party for the anti-Mc Donalds movie "Supersize Me," that his brother's company did the distribution for.


Things that make me really happy today:

1. Jason Roth, the esteemed PR dude at Capitol Records, is pregnant! Well, not him, but his wife, Debbi. And she wouldn't have become pregnant if it weren't for him. Anyway, Jason is one of the greats in this world. You know the type: fun to be around, really funny, easy going, smart... his wife Debbi is his perfect match because she's all those things as well, but with boobs and now, with baby! The thought of them being parents makes me want to cry happy tears. That baby is going to be so lucky, especially since I promised to baby-sit it whenever they want. By the way, that's them on the left.

2. I saw a dog in a wheelchair this morning. It was this adorable blonde, long haired pug with bad hips that had this sort of cart for it's hind legs since the poor pooch had trouble walking otherwise. The dogwalker told me that the dog's doctor suggested to the owners that they put the dog down, they went for a second opinion, and now the doggie is happily wheeling itself around the lower east side licking the pee off trees. I wanted to kiss it's nose so bad.

3. 10 feet later, a dog walked by with a baseball cap on.

Anyway... Links time!

Teachers really need to calm the fuck down. It's a pity the images weren't put on the net as well. Alex says: "Bush really BOGGLES my mind."

I saw this dude on the Today Show this morning and predict it will be about 20 days until he gets a TV gig.

Fuck dry humping. Or is it, fuck, don't dry hump? I say, spoon. But that's cause I'm a prude.

Morning Theft is playing at Pianos tonight at 9pm. I suggest you go see them now while you still have a chance.

A couple days ago Karen posted a link to new Killers video. I'm so behind on things, that i'm only now posting about it, but I'd like you all to watch it for one simple reason: there's a moment when there's this insane close up on Mark the bassist's package. It cause my office to squeal in delight and cause my jaw to drop. I'm not one to normally notice such things (who am I kidding?), but the cock shot is just not to be missed. Anyway, Karen and I will probably end up stalking Mark's package when the Killers join their new BFF Morrissey on the Lallapalooza tour.

Also, the Cooper Temple Clause have officially set up camp at Karen's house. I wonder if she's doing their hair while they're there.

Over at the Daily Refill, the totally hot Jennifer has posted a link to a ballad about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen that is not to be missed.

Last, but not least, as some of you may have noticed, someone at the Black Table posted something about my lovely imagery of puking on ones mouth and then swallowing said puke out of excitement. I have since had correspondence with this writer. All is fine and lovely. I'm hoping she'll live up to my request that she think of me the day she pukes in her mouth and swallows it out of excitement.

Monday, April 26, 2004

MY _____ ROMANCE

I got the 4-track album sampler for My Chemical Romance today and it reduced me to tears. It's unbelievably good. As my friend (who shall remain anonymous until he says it's ok) put it, it's like water in the desert for kids.

Thank God i never went this psycho.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

THINGS YOU DISCOVER WHEN YOU'RE TOO DRUNK TO SLEEP AND VH1 IS THE ONLY THING FUN TO WATCH

1. Gwen Stefani is really, really, really pretty. Dear God. I'm 24 right now and Gwen is about 10 years older then me. Do you think you could see to it that I age as well as she did? Her skin is really nice and she doesn't have any crows feet and she has nice teeth and she's skinny and she's a lot prettier then she knows when she's not wearing make up. Could you please give me like 10% of that? Also, she's so pretty, God, so good work with that.

2. Hoobastank's "The Reason" (not the album, the single) is actually quite good. On a normal day, I really dislike Hoobastank. Not only do i dislike their name (which is embarrassingly awful), but I typically dislike their songs. I find them pretty awful and redundant... but thankfully the modern rock ballad is allowed to be just that: redundand and awful, and still be great. There are so many awful modern rock hits in this world, but they're great, come on, you know it. And to prove that i'm not crazy (at least not alone), the other day Karen recieved a text message from me asking "who is that band doing the OC commercial song?" and then a few days later, after i found out who it was (and left her a text message at 3 am letting her know as well), she saw the same commercial and commented to herself that she loved the song and wondered who it was. And then it clicked. HOOBADOOBASTANK. Word.

3. OK, i just got the new Chris Rock special from OnDemand. Time to stop blogging. Night.

MAYBE I WAS TOO DRUNK...

But I didn't see Micah (who is featured in the animated picture below) dancing at Misshapes. However!, i did see the one and only Uncle Grambo and even danced with him to Blur and some other jawns. I wont even mention the extreme elimination dorkness that was at Pianos earlier in the night (if you want a hint, there were bloggers from all over the country gathered upstairs... i mean, all over), but I will say that holyshit, bloggers go to the bathroom a lot, and in numbers... together. I guess they like to watch each other pee.

Misshapes is fun.

Oxycodone/contin is bad.

And I'm still obsessed with the Iron Chef. Tonight's challenge? Oxtail. Yum. Maybe tomorrow they'll use frog guts.

Friday, April 23, 2004

GET READY TO BE BUMMED

Denali has broken up.

Here's a statement from their site:


Hey everyone.

We would like to start this by thanking all the fans who have supported us, listened to our music, and came out to our shows. Without you, Denali would not have existed. Unfortunately, due to differences in the band Denali cannot continue in the current state. This was an amazing experience for all of us, but it's time to move on and try something new. Please keep checking Denalimusic.com for updates, future announcements, and to pick up the remaining merchandise.

We hope Denali has meant as much to our fans as our fans have meant to us. Thank you all so much.

We also want to offer our sincerest apologies to Cursive, Darkest Hour, Mike Park, and everyone involved with the Plea for Peace tour for being unable to participate in something we believe in and felt extremely lucky to be doing.

With deepest gratitude, apologies, and appreciation,

Denali
QUICK BITS

I might not have enough time to give a really meaty update today, so i'm just mentioning some quick things:

New York City's favorite teenage band, Surefire, will be playing on Saturday at the Misshapes party at 10:30pm. They're not even old enough to dance there -- i'm not joking, they're like, sorting out prom dates at the moment or something -- but they're so fucking cute, oh, and they rock. My favorite Asian bassist, Alex Chow from The Madison Strays, will be DJing with Ryan Rayhill. If you go here, you'll be happy... cause drinks are cheap.

Sometimes, I wonder if people like the movie TRON way too much.

I like Pitchfork, but some of you might enjoy Rich Dork. Link from my future husband Chris Kelly.

Kirk Cameron loves God. Link from Gabrielle!

Check out a cover of Brit's "Toxic" that These Bones did.

Need money? Here's a fun and creative way to get some. Link from Adam Mandel.

I saw Inouk last night. They were great and reminded me of Dexy's Midnight Runners meets Edith Piaf, but not at all. I will discuss this band/show further at a later time.

I'm listening to new Giant Drag songs right now. Holy fuck. Have you all checked them out yet or what? They're unbelievable. They sound like a poppier Mazzy Star with elements of My Bloody Valentine thrown in. Sometimes Annie sings a bit like a mellow Kurt Cobain, and there's a song on here called "YFLMD" which stands for "You Fuck Like My Dad" and there's a line in one song that goes "Your dream, is my nightmare" ... which doesn't sound all that impressive here on this blog, but the way she sings it is just unreal. This is a band to watch.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

BEST NEWS EVER

Friends, co-workers, internerds. I have some fantastic news that will surely make you fucking stoked. Donnie Darko is coming back to the theaters with 20 extra minutes of footage! I just did that thing where I puked in my mouth and swallowed, that's how excited I am.

For those of you who might have overlooked Donnie Darko thinking it was just another Drew Barrymoore vehicle for silly teen horror movies, you're wrong. DD is a wonderfully tortured science fiction teen movie that takes place in the 80s and features music by Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen, the Church, and much more. I think I cried the first time I saw it and even bought a DVD player just so i could watch it over and over again. Horay.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

STOP COLLABORATE AND LISTEN

I just found out that the Killers will be opening up for Morrissey in LA this Thursday and next Tuesday. All I can think is that Killer Brandon must be having a non-stop boner party of one. I have a rumor from a very good source that Morrissey heard "Somebody Told Me" on KROQ and called his manager and said he wanted whoever wrote that song to open for him. You can listen to the song that made the Mozzer quiver here. Yeah, so don't get any crazy ideas that Moz reads blogs or anything. OK? Do you hear me you stupid little cunt with short legs and a fat ass? Nobody reads your blog. Especially not Morrissey. Only the members of Pitty Sing read you blog so they can track down your every move and figure a way to slay you in the streets.

Sorry. I went off for a moment.

Aren't the members of the Killers cute? I will marry one of them. Mark my words. Pun intended.

Last night I went to seen Snow Patrol with Nate-not-the-roommate, Karen, and some big wigs from SPIN who supplied me with more beer then I could handle. I didn't actually attend the show with Karen as she refused to be seen in public with me, worried that people would find out about our torrid affair. So we sent text messages the whole time talking about how much we'd like to engage in a gang bang with the members of Snow Patrol. As the publisher of SPIN told me last night when my drunken ramblings were on full speed: TMI.

I've decided that I want a penis. I want one of my very own that I could use to procreate the world with. I dont mean that I want one that is attached to a boy, but one that is attached to me. A part of me. I want to be a boy. I'm sick of this girl thing. It's annoying and retarded and useless and my thighs grow whenever I eat carbs and I'm sick of that. I'm going to be a boy one day, mark my words.

I've been listening to Rival Schools' "Undercovers On" on repeat all day to celebrate my fantasy of being a double agent.

Jordan has a blog that's pretty funny. He's also: hot, jewish, 20 years old, and has great hair. He lives in Detroit and is single. Ladies of D-town, jump his bones.

Raphael is on the TRL Front page. He's the FAN OF THE WEEK!!! Ladies of NYC (and Miami for this weekend), Raphael is single, willing, and able. He's also the best dancer in the Lower East Side.

Speaking of MTV, please vote for stellastarr*'s video for "My Coco" by going here. I'm in the video! And so is the band.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISON MANN

Monday, April 19, 2004

WE ONLY WORK WHEN WE NEED THE MONEY

What a weekend. I had one of those really great weekends when nothing is totally planned out, yet everything seems to fall into place just right. Friday night, due to technical difficulties, i was unable to return to NJ for shabbat dinner with the family. Instead, as i was sleepily heading home, i was beckoned by Imran to join him for the Johnathan Rice show at HousingWorks. J.Rice's shows are just getting better and better by the day... I think i've seen him about 6 times already and I'm never bored. Jason Roth pointed out that JR was wearing a blue tuxedo jacket to prepare for our wedding.

After the show Imran and I headed out for some mexican dinner, got drunk off sangria, and walked to the west village for some drinks with Tracey, Lizzy, and Sia, where I went on to help Marc take care of 2 bottles of Moet. JR and his posse of folk singers (including grammy award winner Jesse Harris) came to meet us and we all ended up getting into a near fist fight with the group sitting behind us after JR and I kept on throwing remains of a bouquet of gladiolas that i gave Marc at them. They were being really loud and we were being really drunk. They threw some stems back at us, but unfortunately their aim was way off and it ended up hitting some random dude. Exhausted, we piled in a cab and headed off to some east village bar on st. marks called St. something or other. I am not sure how I got home, but judging from a voice mail i received on saturday, I was put into a cab by a 20 year old scottish boy.

The next morning I went to meet up with Jason and his roommate Mike on 34th to see the cinematic masterpiece, Saved. OK, now Uncle Grambo is yapping about how Michael Stipe's duet with Mandy Moore on "God Only Knows" is a really bad idea, but he will eat his words when he actually sees the dark comedy. For one thing, Mandy is absolutely amazing in it -- I find her to be terribly underrated as an actress -- and so i think this will be some what of a break out role for her. Secondly, the cover, which plays at the beginning of the movie, is actually fantastic and totally tongue in cheek. Might it be slight Born Again Christian propaganda? Yes. Do I care? Are you kidding? by the end i was like, Praise the Lord!... for such a great film. Thank you Jason for taking me! Watch the trailer.

Speaking of Jesus, anyone see "Divas 2004" last night? This is what Robbie Williams was doing when Jessica Simpson performed his "everywhere but the USA" hit, "Angels."

Sunday morning I woke up totally hung over from the night before when I DJed at Opaline for the party where everyone walked around in their undies. I was up by 8:30 am, but didnt manage to get out of my bed until 1:30. Had a smoke and wondered down to the Clinton Street Bakery for Brunch. People of NYC, if you haven't tried the brunch at Clinton Street Bakery yet, you must. Now. Yesterday. ASAP. Skip work and go eat there tomorrow. Just go. Anyway, I went alone cause the hangover rendered me retarded. I think I'm going deaf cause my friend said that he spent about 2 or 3 minutes saying my name before i turned around. Must keep my hearing. Music too pretty.

The thing i love about nyc is that you can just wonder around alone and find something fun to do. So I did just that. Found Vicki at a park. Decided that i'd walk over to fez to see if i could make a reservation for the Sarah Silverman show (it was sold out when i got there), ran into Hal who was waiting for Jason and invited me to join them. I went off to walk around st. marks, bought some clothes, found out the show was sold out, found hal and jason. Joined them for a bit. Walked towards my house and ran into a couple more people i know. Then went over to Pianos to see Dennis Cahlo perform.

Dennis is getting fucking awesome.

I liked his stuff loads when it was just him and the acoustic guitar, but last night was my first time seeing him with a guitar player and totally electricized. Great lighting, great sound... and best of all, fantastic lyrics.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is: I love this city.

And now for some slightly random links.

Remember SQUIRT TV on MTV? Well, Jake Fogelnest (or Mr. Squirt as he asks his friends to call him) promises that something is coming.

Don't miss THE FACE magazine? Maybe this cover and photographs of Wino Forever will help you.

Franz Ferdinand edited the Guardian and put in a gash and a penis.

Is Thom Yorke standing on a box in this photo or is it a matter of depth perception? You decide. You can get the poster of that image at WASTE headquarters.

Wanna go to NYU? Prepare to homeless by reading this dude's blog.





Friday, April 16, 2004

HANG THE DJ

Hello. I'm DJing at Opaline on saturday night at midnight. Please come.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

SO...?

OK, so i know that a bunch of you attended the fucking amazing Muse show last night. What did you all think? I think my head exploded at like forty different moments. Did anyone notice that Matt played the guitar over his head? Did anyone notice how fucking amazing they are? Holy fucking crap.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

THE NEW SCOTTISH GENTRY

You all might know about Barry, my once-teenaged Scottish boyfriend from Glasgow who looks like Nick Jago of BRMC and speaks in an accent so thick that he could only be understood when:
1. Drunk
2. Drunker

Well, the reason why Barry won my heart and the hearts of many of my friends was through his writing. Ah yes, Barry writes words like Mozart writes a symphony. Once apon a time, it was only through purchasing issues of the NME or recieving lengthy emails that one could read Barry's musings, but now, my friends, now Barry has a blog. Feast your eyes on it. I should add that he writes that blog with another person who lives in London who would rather go uncredited... this person is referred to as "London."
STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

Wanna take a bunch of cute little kiddies to Sweden?
A NEW YORK MINUTE

First thing's first: This morning I was watching TV and they had a commercial for the theatrical debut of the next Olsen Twins movie. It looks so good, I'm not even kidding.

Last night I had some "Break the Bread" Passover's over dinner at Thai On Clinton with some usual suspects (Brian, Lindsay, Greg the Boyfriend, Ben, etc.). We discussed such wonderful dinner topics as "sex in the bathroom" and "sex in a corner booth" and "how to raise your two year old" and "Payas: Bringing home a jew girl to your jewish parents and passing her off as your girlfriend (the beard)."

Afterwards Elliot and I hopped into a cab and jetted off to the Secret Machines/Blonde Redhead show at Bowery. I can't believe how un-stoned I was for this show. I showed up more sober then I've been in ages and was like "whoa. so this is what the secret machines sounds like when i'm sober? Awesome." They're totally Flaming Lips meets the Queens of the Stoneage stoner rock that sounds as good with your eyes closed as open (which is convenient when you're 5'1 and can't see anyway), but I'd just like to give extra props to the low budget lighting set up that was actually way better then most lighting set ups i've ever seen. Basically it was like their accountant said "OK, we've got only enough in our budget to afford a kingsized bedding sheet and three spotlights." At one point the backlight lit so perfectly making their silhouettes glow with an almost angel like quality. I was happy that I opened my eyes for that part.

Anyway, here are a bunch of links that you may or may not enjoy.

Live video footage of a couple songs that Muse managed perform at the Atlanta show before Matt Bellamy split open his face.

An update on the status of the cell phone attempted robbery hottie.

For those of us needing a little Lloyd Dobbler in our lives, now you can wear him.

Looks like Nicole Richie and Justin Guarini are getting hitched. Buy them a gift.

Ewan on a hog for his new tv show.

For those of us who wondered "Could Franz Ferdinand's Alex Kapranos get any hotter?" the answer is clear. Stick him in a school boy outfit and he actually gets hotter. Check out their new video for "Dark of the Matinee".

If that link doesn't work, try this one.

And then there's the British Sea Power video for "Childhood Memories" that my brother Lawrence is freaking out over. There's something absolutely perfect about BSP that makes me really fucking happy to be alive.

When I was 19 or 20 I was totally obsessed with a little group called Soulwax, then they became the international DJ duo known as 2ManyDJs. Finally they've recorded original material that you can hear here. [link via Fluxblog

For those who want to know what college is really like... go here. I went to the Fashion Institute of Technology. It was awful. I've blocked it out of my mind so much that I'd rather tell people that I didn't even go.

Finally, JasonProductShopNYC was kind enough to put up a link to where you can download last night's Pixies show. Unfortunately, i have no idea how to work "bit torrent", so if anyone can help...

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

DECLARE THIS AN EMERGENCY ROOM VISIT

Everyone's been emailing me to find out if the NYC Muse show at Bowery Ballroom is still on. Well, my sources say it's a go. So hold tight to your tickets and be sure to check out the opening band The Exit (I'm wearing their tshirt today actually). This video shows what happened in Atlanta that is causing all the worry and fuss. Poor boy. Thanks to Paul Hanly for the link.

Monday, April 12, 2004

YOUR COVER IS A WONDERLAND

Alright, alright, alright. I know that John Mayer's cover of "Kid A" is about 4 years old. I got an MP3 of it before any of his singles even hit the radio waves and engulfed us with thoughts of wonderland-like bodies belonging to Jennifer Love Hewitt because I used to be insanely obsessed with Radiohead and would sit on napster all day long looking for Radiohead covers. (Actually, I remember now that Daniel the Orthodox Jew sent me a copy of the mp3 cause he's got the inside track on shit like that.) Anyway, back then I thought the cover was fantastic and today I still think that the cover is beautiful. I know it's not particularly "cool" to like John Mayer, but fuck being cool. Maybe it is cool. Maybe it's so uncool that it's back to being cool again. Either way, I'm treating this cover as an isolated incident. I got it today in the mail from Columbia as part of some sort of 5 song EP for "Clarity". Try to find it. I promise all Radiohead fans that it's worth it and not total sacrilege. If you disagree, which you might, please feel to post your thoughts in my comments section.

Here's a killer surprise for you.
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART

Actually, just shot for a cell phone. How cute is the boy on the cover of today's New York Post? Poor kid got shot twice for his cell phone. I tried to find him on friendster to send him my warm wishes, but alas, he's not there.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

ALWAYS CRASHING THE SAME CAR

If you liked Marc Spitz's novel How Soon Is Never? (which most people do) then you'll probably want to know what Mr. Spitz is up to next. Here you go: details about his new book. I'm stoked.

Still in Miami. I baby sat my cousin's 20 month old daughter last night and fell asleep while watching "Iron Chef." Watching them prepare live octopus made me puke in my mouth a little bit. They squirm for like 20 minutes after their heads have been chopped off and their tentacles have been sliced up. Just moving and squirming for dear life. Yum. I think. Octopus isn't kosher.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

C'MON ITS TIME FOR SOMETHING BIBLICAL

T-Minus a couple of days before Muse play NYC and the Mystery Girls in Philly have emailed me saying they bought me a ticket to the Kyber show and are insisting i come down for that. The offer is enticing.

Passover in Miami has been a lot more work then expected. My mom has been working me and my brothers non stop (the amount this woman can cook and clean is shocking), and my tan just isn't happening. I'm looking out my window right now and there's a pretty heavy overcast at the moment, but the beach is about 50 feet away, so the second some clouds decide to part ways I'm running out the door.

All of my family -- from my mom's sisters and brother and cousins to my dad's sisters and brothers and cousins -- is here in the same apartment complex. They sit by the pool talking in arabic and nagging about something or talking about their kids. My cousins -- who are my age -- are either looking for husbands or schlepping their kids around. Adorable kids. I can't keep track of their names half the time, but thankfully most of the boys under the age of 15 are named Morris.

My first night in Miami I went with my brother to a sort of Matzah Ball at Tantra. It was like a meat market for Syrian Jews from Brooklyn who were all there to meet their future husbands and wives. I was pretty much the outcast of the bunch because I never attend these functions so nobody knows my deal. I guess it's for the best since I'm not really in the market for a husband... despite my mom's begging. A few of my cousins showed up and it was awesome seeing them because I dont really get to that often... but after a couple hours of the untz untz, i had to go home.

The following night I met up with one of Brian's friend's, Monica, at a party called Spider Pussy. It was a total nyc party with cute kids dancing to indie rock and new wave. Josh from Revolver, whom i had met a couple months earlier at Lit, was there and we hung out a lot of the night. He invited me to DJ for a bit the next night (last night) at Revolver, which was fucking nice as shit, so after shabbat dinner with my family Lawrence and I drove to the design district and partied it up tiswas style over there. Revolver is a totally fantastic party that's probably the sanctuary for most Miami kids who would rather listen to the white stripes then ace of base. All my friends who have either lived in miami or visited insisted that i check it out and i'm so glad they did. I had a fucking great time and Josh is a great host. I haven't seen a club with such a great set up in so long that I was in club design heaven. Plus, the DJs were totally fantastic and everyone was so nice and all the girls had fucking fantastic little bodies that -- even me and my raging heterosexuality -- was like, whoa. My bro fell in love with this mohawked lesbian who made his night by making out with another girl and then taking off her top. Miami is awesome.

Not sure what's happening today in my little adventures in Passover. Hopefully the sun will come out, i'll sit underneath it with my 20% russian blood trying to hold on to the incredibly fair skin that i have, and tan. Viva Skin Cancer!

Sunday, April 4, 2004

GOLDEN GIRLS AND ME

So i think this is gonna be the last time I blog before going to Miami for a week -- Unless someone in my family brings a laptop... which is totally possible. However, not sure postings like "sat on the beach today and got a little sunburnt, lizzy is gonna be pissed. my mom made stuffed peppers. yum. my name is sarah and i've been sober for too long at this point" would be all that interesting.

Last night I had such an amazing time at the very very dark Centrofly. I carried around a plastic champagne flute because on some vh1 special that i saw earlier that day, they were saying that the new pimping accessory for hip hops stars to have is a goblet displaying the owner's wealth. I felt like a plastic flute said a lot about me: broke and cheap.

Anyway, I danced to Audrey and Dennis' DJ set and really got blown away by Bastion and the Madison Strays. The MS are getting better with every show and Belvy's voice and stage presence is really starting to shine. Plus, Alex Chow's new haircut = total buzz.

DJing with Mike Joyce and Andy Rourke was really fun. At one point they came up to the DJ booth during my set to prepare for theirs so I dropped "Bigmouth Strikes Again" anticipating their reaction. Thankfully it was totally positive. Mike grabbed my waist and started dancing and singing along with me. It was totally surreal, but perhaps not as surreal by the numerous kisses the dude planted on my drunken head. They were friendly kisses. Very friendly kisses. The kind of kisses that my brother normally saves his "my fist/your face" looks for. At one point he walked me into a corner of the DJ booth -- I was stepping backwards and tripped over someone's jacket and knocked my head really fucking hard on some wood, and nearly blacked out for a moment actually -- as he reached down to help me up he said "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to give you a hug!" i replied "that's alright, you gave me a concussion instead!" I hugged him goodbye and thanked him for being in the band that saved mylife "well, you and radiohead and nirvana all saved my life... so thanks so much!". I'm older now, and a clever swine, but they were the only ones who ever stood by me.

Friday, April 2, 2004

... ON BEING KILLED

I'm finally updating.

I'm going to Miami next week to spend an Atkins friendly Passover with my family and working on my (un)healthy glow. If you know of anything going on next week in Miami please post it here incase I get bored of looking at the waves and my family's faces. I'll be rocking the potato vodka, holla!

Wednesday I went to see the Killers, Ambulance LTD., and stellastarr* at Irving Plaza with Karen. I seriously can't get enough of the Killers. I want to take a month off work and follow them around like a fucking deadhead smelly hippy or something. If the Franz Ferdinand show was a homoerotic experience (it was), then the Killers show was the straight equivalent. I just danced around with the biggest stupidest grin on my face for the rest of the night and felt like I had just given birth to a gorgeous baby of rock that i quickly disposed of in a dumpster so could continue my night. I want to stick the members of the Killers (and their roadie and thier manager) in a box and keep them there so i could poke them every hour or so and be like "give me love," and they'd promptly start singing and playing their instruments and I'd dance around and scream "you guys are awesome!" until i had to get back to work.

Ambulance LTD were also quite great. I haven't seen them perform for almost a year and I was just in such a good mood after the Killers that they could've put on a shitty show and I would've been floating... but luckily they actually put on a lovely show. I felt like i was in some sort of sixties movie about california or something.

And then stellastarr*.... Dear stellastarr*, i have a problem with you. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING GOOD? It's criminal. I used to go see them play at Luna and Arlene's and they were great then and I was like "they're great now. they'll get better." but their show blew my expectations. My brother, naturally, was bouncing around like a monkey on a trampoline with Seth. I think they enjoyed the show more then anyone. Also, their new song, "On My Own" (not to be confused with the american tale song sung by fivel), is fucking great. That was my first time hearing it and Killer Brandon had warned me that that song chokes him up each time. I started tearing up and looked behind me at Nina and Gina and started hugging them. Oh, the love.

The after party was open bar and since I was DJing I didn't really have to pay. So i played a bunch of songs and danced around like I had a seizure (in my head, i can totally dance), drank a lot. People bought me drinks, which was fucking great, thank you to those people. Killer Dave and his tight pants showed up with Killer Wyatt and we danced with Mandystarr*, my brother, Audrey and Brian (whom I flashed my troll-like ass to at some point), and Karen finally met Scott. Not in that order. I think i just bloggerfucked. Fuck. Blogga, please. I'll drop as many blogs as i want. Watch me! We're all a bunch of nerds anyway.

Including the DJing, I was in full on work mode since I'm doing a "making out with ultragrrrl" for the three bands... the ironic thing about my column is that I don't actually make out with anyone. For one thing, i'm not allowed to for ethical reasons (which I'm actually quite interested in being -- ethical), and secondly, despite the way I write and talk about bands, i've been known to run far away from boys who play instruments. I just don't date musicians (I'm even more scared of dating actors). This makes my job so null of temptation. Now if I had to cover unemployed artists with "substance abuse problems" for a living... I may have a problem on my hands. As far as my parents are concerned, I only date Doctors. Hey Andy.

Last night I went on this Booze Bus thing that SPIN organized. It was basically a bus full of high end sneakers by Royal Elastic, put on display like it was an A-Life shoe store, and college students who were visiting SPIN from RIT, and a bunch of people who work here, and a lot of booze and the Ravonettes. It was one of the more bizarre work experiences I've ever had and I was trying hard to channel my 17 year old self who would've thought that working at SPIN was like this every day of the week. It sort of is, but replace the bus with my work desk, the booze with coffee, the sneakers with cds, and the ravonettes with Tracey Pepper and Sia Michels. Not really bad actually! Cept, in my fantasy nobody laughs when I say "Muse is one of the best bands out there."

Then I went to Irving Plaza to meet up with Craig from the fine University of Connecticut. I had to duck into a bar to use the bathroom which overflowed like a horror film or something. I had just enough time to wash my hands and run out, tell the bar guy "dude, the toilet's broke." When I went outside i started telling Craig what happened when some totally cute boy walked by and said "why don't you blog about it?" So here I am. Really, i'm only blogging about it cause i thought it was funny that some random kid said something. I'm pretty open to suggestion sometimes.

So Craig and I went to Link to eat dinner and drink some beers and then met up with Sarah Wilson at Irving Plaza so we could swoon over the Walkmen. J'adore le Walkmen! I have no idea why, but Hamilton reminds me a bit of Mary J. Blige when he sings. I think i just think of MJB's performance on some VH1 special a few years back that seemed so desperate and wonderful and there's something about the way Hamilton sings that's very much like that. To me at least. Strangely, it was the Walkmen that made me love Radiohead less. They were doing things that Radiohead stopped doing after OK Computer. What I mean is, there was something missing with Kid A... like humanity. OK Computer changed my life completely. It's because of that album that I took working in the field of music seriously (in all honesty, it was my goal to meet Thom Yorke as a teenager so i could thank him profusely for filling some void that I didnt even know needed to be filled). There were endless mistakes on OK Computer that made them seem pure, and it seemed like there were none on Kid A. Or the sparkle was gone. Something. The Walkmen tho, they were doing something pure and organic. They sound like a drunken night in love. But you know, maybe my taste just changed.

Is it weird that i still love Muse?

Alright. Time for me to go home so I can have shabbat dinner with my family and kiss my doggy on her nose and hear my dad say "i dont understand what happened... you used to be so ... skinny." and hear my mom say "it's all the drinking you're doing." and then hear my brother say "yeah, you drink like a fish." and then talk to Laura on AIM about teenage boys.

Here's The Exorcist in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies for a special rabbit loving friend of mine.