It's been a weird past few days and I've been playing catchup with a lot of people/bands. Apart from being in Seattle last week, meeting crazies, getting my wisdom teeth out and being harassed, it was also Yom Kippur.
My Yom Kippur was a bit weird this year since I had to eat a very little bit of food because I was on several medications and didn't want to get ill. So I had four slices of bread and prayed that my sins would still be absolved. I thought about the things I did wrong in the past year and anyone I may have hurt intentionally or unintentionally. I hoped for forgiveness from them. I probably should've written them letters or something. I was worried that my eating would cause repercussions via God and bad luck would head my way. This shit keeps me up at night.
I started feeling these weird feelings while I was walking around my apartment on Saturday afternoon. With one slice of bread/dread in my body, I was feeling sharp pangs of pain in my chest. It felt like I was getting the heinrich maneuver every four minutes from an invisible friend. I would be standing in my bathroom brushing my teeth and step back in pain. Walking out the door, i'd nearly fallen backwards from this sensation. Arriving at Shul I complained to my mom of chest pains, she complained of some as well and decided it was nerves and lack of caffeine.
For the next few days the pains increased for me and was causing me to be distracted at work. I had called my oral surgeon to see if it was a possible side effect of medication or if i had been dying or what. The receptionist suggested I call my family doctor immediately and get it checked out. Just as I was going to call my mom, I saw on my caller ID that she was calling.
"Hey Mom! I was just about to call you!"
"Sarah, it's Albert [my oldest brother]."
"Oh hey! How's it going? What you doing with Mom?"
"Don't get worried, because she's ok, but Mom had a small heartattack."
"What? Oh my God. She's ok? You promise?"
"Yes. She's at Englewood Hospital."
And that's when the waterworks just started to pour out. God, my mom is the most important thing to me in my life. Without her, I would be absolutely lost in my life. She's always there for me and so supportive and ready to take care of me or clean up any mess I make. I was losing my mind at the idea of possibly losing her.
I got to the hospital and immediately went into my weird panic mode where I try to make people laugh. She told me that she had a balloon put in her, so I asked if they had a clown do it. Shit like that.
But now she's home. She's doing good. A lot slower paced than before. Me and my brothers went to my mom and dad's for Sukkot and never have I been so thankful to be able to sit down at their table and eat with her.
By the way, it turns out my chest pains was from my esophagus contracting (every four fucking minutes!), combined with heartburn!
Here are some photos I've been meaning to post:
My oldest brother Albert.
My Mom! <3
Erica Are I, Gurj, and Jonah ... probably at Angels and Kings
Todd Weinstock DJing at some bar.
Me with my handsome Permanent ME boys in Alex's office.
My Brother Lawrence singing David Bowie at Angels and Kings as part of a SPIN karaoke event.
Patrick Stump doing the same.
THIS IS THE BEST PHOTO I'VE EVER TAKEN. These kids had the best style ever. I found them on 42nd Street in front of a theater. Check out their fucking pose!