I'm DJing on New Years Eve

In case you didnt hear me the first eight times, I'm DJing at Don Hills tomorrow for New Years Eve. It will be fun. The flyer is here.
This is me DJing:


Also, my new years resolution (aside from no longer doing blow off the bodies of under aged boys ... they will be 18 now!), is to listen to all the cds i get sent each day. At least two songs of each. And lucky for me, I decided to start this resolution today because the third CD i listened to was a band caleld Pitty Sing. HOLY SHIT. PITTY SING are awesome.. They sound like old U2 mixed with Suede or something. It was exactly what i wanted to hear.

This is how my friend Greg described them:
"Radio" woulda fit perfectly on the Breakfast Club soundtrack. Reminds me
of Simple Minds with maybe a bit of early U2. They are good at what they do
and I enjoyed it but only in an escapist sort of way. As James Murphy would
say, "borrowed nostalgia for the unremembered 80's."

Pre-Partying Rules!

Electro Greg and Melody Nelson's Audrey are having a soiree before Trash/Mofo. I'm so manically in love with Audrey. I need to be at this party so at the stroke of midnight I can make out with her.

Nerve Personals

About a year ago i started working on a feature for SPIN called "Rock Star Personals" where I had rockers fill out a profile for nerve.com to see what sort of response they'd get in the dating pool. Naturally, I wondered the same thing and joined as well. I'm constantly fascinated by the type of people who send me messages, and have even gone as far as to meet up with one or two of them (hey, i'm single and go through phases of hating that and loving that). Typically I leave the bar thinking "ahh... this is why they're single" and imagine that they're thinking the same thing about me. (Oh, but there was this one time when a boy was the spitting image of Ewan McGregor. He was hot.)

I've come to realize that I am probably a lot more shallow when it comes to looks than I would've once liked to believe. I pretty much ignore most profiles where the person says they're a musician (if I wanted to date a musician, I really have no shortage of those outside my doorstep). I get a little embarrassed when people say they recognize me from TV. I like people who look like they suffer from drug addictions. Ideally I want to meet a jewish boy, but don't typically like the way jewish boys look (there are many exceptions, i know, but the typical jewish boy that would send me a response on nerve is the typical jewish boy i'd never date), so I tend to ignore those profiles as well. I am over dating older men, and almost over dating younger men.

Basically, what I've come down to, is that I'm undatable. I'm easilycharmed.

Holiday Sneer

It's always funny to me when people wish me a merry Christmas. I mean, I can understand the whole holiday spirit and cheer and whatever, but the whole thing means nil to me. However, I did watch so many hours on the Discovery Channel about the life of Jesus, Mary, and everything else surrounding the New Testament that the Disocovery Channel could muster. I watched so many hours, in fact, that I had a dream last night that I was Mary, Noah (of the Arc), and Jesus rolled into one.

For Xmas eve I went over to my friend Ridge's house in Queens. We watched Peanuts cartoons, Edward Scissorhands, and ate Jumbalya or whatever it's called/spelled. Afterwards I headed back into the city a little earlier than planned and had a quick drink with Marc. I also tried to climb into his suitcase so he could take me to Australia with him for when he goes to interview the Vines. As I was heading back home, my brother Lawrence called me just as I was driving past him on the street in my cab. I jumped out and joined him for a drink at some cheesy club that was hosting a Matzoh Ball. It was so incredibly lame (I yelled out "Sausage Fest!" as i walked in and got shot with dirty looks all around) that we left after 20 minutes. He headed off to the new Crobar and I went home. Apparently the Lubuvatch Organization were in their Mitzvah Mobile outside of Crobar trying to recruit new followers of the ultra-orthodox jewish cult-like group. When I was little my mom used to take me to visit Rabbi Schneerson (sp?) who is the person the Lubuvatch's look up to as a sort of profit. We'd wait in a long line in Brooklyn for hours and hours and walk up to him, hand him a dollar, he'd give us a blessed dollar in return, mumble something or another, and then we'd go off on our way. I was about 8 years old when we did this, so my memory is a bit cloudy... however, I'm sure he brought happiness to a lot of people. I'm just confused by what the Lubuvatch community is trying to do with their Mitzvah Mobiles... i should do some research.

Speaking of Lawrence, he changed his friendster photo to images from high school. He was so fucking cute and new wave. Look!.

Yesterday, for Xmas Day, Nate the fabulous Roommate, cooked an amazing meal for his bandmates. It looked amazing... I couldn't eat it cause it wasn't kosher, but basically it was chicken rolled with ricotta and feta cheese, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. Nate cooks! He's like the best boy in the whole world. He also got a Christmas tree for the apartment which he decorated with white lights and blue balls (to pay respect to Hannukah), and we made an angle for the top using an image of Thom Yorke i found in Blender magazine.

After dinner I went to the movies with Karen and Jordan to see "Big Fish" (I was crying like a pms-ing girl who has just watched a Sally Struthers "kids in africa need your money" commercial at the end... not to mention squealing everytime Ewan came on screen). We all noticed Drew and Fab in line for popcorn behind us and so this prompted Jordan to ask quite loudly while we were sitting down "I THOUGHT DREW AND FAB WERE OVER?" not noticing them sitting two rows directly in front of us. God Bless Jordan for delivering the quote of the night. So Drew and Fab are back on!


When I got home, after going to Lit, I watched the World Idol competition that i had taped while at the movies. I'm totally in love with Kurt from Norway's performance. He was so utterly amazing. He sounded a lot like the singer of Kent. I think i'm gonna buy his album.


Free Jack White items are for sale just in time for belated holiday gifts. Incase anyone is interested, i'm a women's medium. Thanks to Rachel for that link.

Finally -- I'm DJing at Don Hills on New Years Eve. The party is apparently gonna be really great, so if anyone reading this needs something to do that night, you should go. Come and say hi to me if you do! I will probably be very drunk and possibly try to make out with you and then you'll also discover my inability to remember anything and total need to document everything with my digital camera as a result. I promise to also play "Ice Ice Baby."

Jack White

Jack White's Mug Shot.

Everyone is pointing out that he looks like Michael Jackson. I think he looks hot. And what a suit! He's so good looking! It's such a great photo... I mean, it looks like it could've been taken for the cover of SPIN or something! He's so fucking smart. I mean, he know that this photo will be flashed around the media more than any other photo of him, so he's dressed so fucking well. So sharp. So perfect. Man-Beater or not... I fucking love him.




Bon Joyage
Many of my closest friends have gone away. Lizzy is in New Mexico, Vicki is going away til next year, and Marc is going to Australia, where he says, "i may never come back alive. especially if the rapping kangaroo steals my money and hops off into the outback."

Vincent Gallo Chocolates!

The man makes chocolates. Julie bought some for her dad. Buy some for yours.

Drunk Girls

Yesterday the fine people at Red Stripe sent me a case of their finest imported Jamaican beer. So I brought it home, called my friend Andy, and invited him over to enjoy the lager before heading out to meet up with Brian for some Kareoke at Lolita Tavern.

Andy came over with his med school friend Jared. We sat around drinking, smoking, and talking about the Olsen Twins. Jared's family is born-again Christian and I learned that he kept Kosher and celebrates Passover. Like me, he thinks that Hannukah isn't as important of a holiday as the media would like us to think. Whatever, the festival of lights was important, but in the grand scheme of things, the holiday gets more attention than it should because it falls in the same month of Christmas. I think that in my 23 years of living, I got about 3 gifts on Hannukah, and it was all coincedental because my mom just likes to shop. Last weekend she bought me a new comforter and Ralph Lauren sheets... but only because she loves to shop, not because she was posing as Hannukah Harry.

Anyway... on to the important stuff:
After the three of us had a few drinks we headed over to Lolita Tavern to meet up with Brian and participate in some Sid and Buddy Kareoke. [By the way, i think S&B will be hosting the Aquarius Birthday Kareoke Bash that i'm having with Laura and Dan -- everyone is invited, of course]. Good times as usual. Jared joined me on stage to sing "Ziggy Stardust" ... I tried to serenade a drunk girl who was passed out, but even my off-key singing didnt wake her. So everyone posed with her.

Eventually I woke her up (which took a lot of shaking, prodding, etc), helped her up, and told her that she had to go. Andy brought her some water, she drank it and ran out. We tried to find her to put her in a taxi, but she literally disappeared into the night. Vanished.

Dear The Flu

Dear The Flu,
Thanks for coming just in time for the holiday party season. I know that you and God had to do it to prevent me from drinking too much and dying from alcohol posioning at the holiday party. That's cool. I can live with that. Instead I sat in bed thinking that all i needed were drops of zinc to cure me until I woke up on friday afternoon and texted Lizzy to come into my room to see if I had a fever since I couldn't move. Determining that I was burning up, she brought me some NyQuil and Orange Juice. Then Damon came over to give me Theraflu. At about 2am, Marc jumped into my bed and found me heating up and sweaty. The next morning I woke up healthy! See ya next year!

Love, Sarah.

Randomness

I just got a random email from someone letting me know that Jaime Gleisher is also from Tenafly, NJ. Such a little hotspot.

Know anyone else from Tenafly? Let me know. I probably went to school with them, got beat up by them, went to the prom with them, or my mom probably sold them their house. I think i'm gonna move back there.

NEWS FLASH!

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are going to be attending NYU in the Fall! Dear NYU students... be on top of this.

More updates

I'm home sick and losing my mind.

You know when I said that "Hey Ya!" was the best song that's been released in ages? When I say "ages" i mean, like, since last week. It's an INCREDIBLE song... but the other best song that i've heard in ages is Ryan Adams' "So Alive" and thanks to a Ypersound, I got to watch the Ryan Adams Video! My friend Raphael looks exactly like Ryan. It's so fucking scary.

The OC vs. 90210

Tenafly, NJ is represented in both shows. Totally crazy! The OC's Tate Donovan and 90210's Mother of Brenda and Brandon Walsh = Tenafly kids. Now, all we need is for Mira Sorvino to find her place on a Fox Show and we can probably ask the people at Fox to donate some $$ to Tenafly High School.

I think i have a really big massive crush on Seth Cohen.

Scenes from a Birthday Party

The following Quotes happened at Sarah Wilson's Birthday Extravaganza:

"Which one of you posted that thing about Orlando Bloom being a bad fuck?"
"That was Whatevs! Not me!"
"I can't wait to update my blog!"
"Do you think it's worse to be Jude Law's unattractive brother or sister?"
"Sarah, please stop. Too much information!"
"Do you have a blog too?"

Quotes courtesey of: Jenny, Dan, Laura, David, and Me.

I'm very sick today.

Where is my Mind?

I'm sort of obsessed, again, with Giant Drag. They're an LA duo that sound like a poppier version of Mazzy Star. So fucking good. Music on the website. So fucking good. Trust me.

Anyway... on to a proper update:

My mom called me on thursday night to tell me not to come home for Shabbat dinner on friday since she and my dad would be going to DC to visit my brother Albert, which marked my second consecutive Friday of missing Shabbat... which bums me out. The previous Friday i got snowed in. As Whatevs would say, no buzz.

So friday night on my way home I bought a DVD player for $50 and $75 worth in DVDs, ordered some Zen Palate, and watched "Zoolander". No Drinking! It's amazing that the Olsen Twins movie, "When In Rome", really resembles the production value of a Cinemax porn. Exactly. Needless to say, I'm still obsessed with those two, and all siblings in general (Hiltons, Gallaghers, Greenwoods).

Saturday night I went to the Snow Ball rock-critic party at Siberia. Drank a few drinks. And just spent 4 hours dancing to hip hop. Earlier in the night i went with Miss Modernage (who climbed out of her exile) to Jinner's birthday party. OK, I crashed it, and proceeded to eat all her fine chinese delicacies and hog the Kareoke machine with MM. You can see photos ... [photos have been taken down to protect the identity of MM.] No Buzz!

On Sunday I took my 16 and 17 year old cousins to see My Chemical Romance, who were opening up for Mindless Self Indulgence. MCR's new songs are amazing, but the crowd wasn't buying what they were selling. At one point, Gerard the singer (who was decked out in corpse makeup), told the crowd to spit on him at the count of three... and they did. My poor cousin Eric was right up by the stage -- front and center -- and got hit a bit. It was shocking to see how much spit was flying through the air.

The opening band was called Tub Ring, and while I was in MCR's dressing room (which they shared with TR), catching up, the singer of TR asked the room "What's cooler than being cool?"... which the room replied "ICE COLD!" and then everyone started singing "Hey Ya!" I asked one of the TR guys if they were gonna cover that song and he said, sort of in a mocking way, "Yeah, we always cover songs that are sung in the dressing room five minutes before show time." I was like "dick." But then they did! Geezus, if that isn't the best song of the past five years...

MSI was one of the craziest bands I've seen in a long time. Holy crap. It was like industrial mixed with hip hop mixed with punk. Their EP gives me a bit of a headache, but the show was fucking awesome. Their fans dress like they've raided a Hot Topic tho.

I was about to say that I had no booze on Sunday, but i remembered that i went to see Carlos DJ at Black & White afterwards and he gave me a drink ticket. I contemplated my drink selection for a long time before settling on what I thought would make me the least ill. I'm such a hooker: I ordered a Sea Breeze.

Last night I went to Webster Hall to see Placebo and sadly missed stellastarr*, but I heard that they actually were better than Placebo. I have to say, i was a bit underwhelmed by the show. It was my ninth or tenth time seeing Placebo, and I just found the new songs a bit boring live, and that's like 85% of what their live set is made up of. Plus, the sound was bad no matter where I was standing (too bassy on stage left, too empty towards the back). When I went to see Echo and the Bunnymen at Webster Hall it was like I was blanketed by the music and light show. Not so much with Placebo. They did cover "Where Is My Mind?" which was awesome. I must say that Placebo's first two albums are among my all time favorites.

The after party was pretty dead and drinks were really pricey (thankfully, two drinks were purchased for me... I had two drinks). My friend Scott kept on freaking out by how much I resemble Brian Molko. The resemblance is totally fucking uncanny, even I get a bit freaked out. Speaking of freaking out, i totally, and inexplicably freaked out on my brother after the show when he laid down the smallest of guilt trips (being the jew that he is, he didnt even notice that he was guilt tripping, and still denies it). But anyway, the freakout was totally uncalled for and I felt totally bad. I don't handle guilt well at all, it keeps me from sleeping at night.

Back to Placebo... I was hanging out with my friend Jess and we were super pleased to hear "Bionic" and danced around like retards (ok, only me). Stefan the bassist wins the coveted "Gayest Dancer of 2003" award for his interpretive dance to "Taste In Men." So gay. Brian momentarily turned into MC Molko in the beginning of the set and uttered things like "What's up New York Citeeee?!" I also met some people who said they read my blog. That was so fucking awesome!

Fuck, this blog update has been boring as fuck. Sorry if you got this far.
Tonight is Sarah Wilson's birthday party. I will drink. And then hate myself in the morning. Just you watch!

Jude fLAWless


Thanks to Karen for the subject heading idea.

Holy Fucking Shit

You all might want to stop talking any smack on Jack White when you see what he did to Jason Von Bondies:



link from whatevs

Jeeebus!

Tonight was the Jew Wave party that me and Marc decided to throw. Holy crap, was that fun. Thanks to everyone who came. Thanks to everyone I made out with (some of those photos are posted on my friendster page). I walked around with mistle toe hanging from my hat. Pretty much the only people who got only a peck on the cheek were people I work with (apart from Marc who gave me full tongue). Tracey brought her dog. Jeanann cheered people on. Doug cut his hair. Justin licked my face, a lot. Sera and Eleni came from LA. Me and Vicki took the best photo ever. Saddam came. I showed up late. Danced on a table. An angel grew wings. Marcus came from Tenafly. Karen came from Mars. New-Ben's face is probably covered with my spit. Rob wore the PRML SCRM shirt i first met him in. Danielle and Daniel make me smile. Carlos met Bowie. Greg is Nelson Mandella. Marc has more xmas music than a jew should.

My metal/goth/extremo side project will be named: Call Me Morbid, Call Me Pale
My emo side project will be named: Her Daily Obsession.

check out the flyer for the party on new years eve! i've never seen my name printed so big! ever!

For the Party Tonight

Hey! Please bring a canned good with you tonight if you can. We're trying to help fix everyone's karma by collecting food for the under privileged.

New Years Eve

Incase you need to make plans for New Years, here's a hot-shit-party going on that I happen to be DJing! Come and see who I'll be drunkingly making out with. Maybe It'll be you!:

DJ JESS & ALEX MALFUNCTION present

T R A S H !
NEW YEARS EVE

Midnight Countdown & 3AM Burlesque Show From The Girls Of BURNINGANGEL.COM

Midnight & 3AM Open Bar From GRAYKANGAROO.COM (Uh oh. Open bar.)

Live Performances By
T H E F E V E R 1am NYC's favorite party band. Oh Oh Oh...
MADISON STRAYS 12am They're like Psychedellic Furs, but with the very awesome Alex Chow.
THE FLESH 11pm You will want to dance and make out with the keyboardist.
BASTION 10pm Joy Division-ish hotness.
THE NEW YEARS 9pm Dude, they're first, but they're awesome.

DJs JESS, MALFUNCTION, & U L T R A G R R R L

newave.rawknroll.britpop.sixties.punk.indie

9PM Doors $10 21+
@ DON HILL'S
511 Greenwich St Corner Of Spring St
Visit
TrashNYC
Don Hills

A Missed Connection

My brother was carjacked by four girls on saturday night who held him by boob-point and forced him to take them to a party and partake in their Hilton-esque evening. Please check out the missed connection he posted and help a brother out. Click Here.

PARTY TIME!

Me and Marc Spitz are having a ghetto'd holiday party at Lotus Cafe. I dont think there will be any free drinks, but we'll be DJing.

The following was written by Marc, so please don't think i refer to myself in the third person.

WHAT: Sarah and Marc's Jew Wave X-Mas Party

WHY: Cause the Spin/Vibe Party is not open to the public. And it's really just a Vibe party that SPIN staffers are allowed to crash.

WHERE: Lotus Cafe on Clinton & Stanton cause apparently you can smoke there w/o too much problem.

WHEN: 9PM Till Whenever. Monday, December 14.

WHY SHOULD I COME?  MARC AND SARAH ANNOY ME: Remember on "Do They Know It's Christmas" when Simon Le Bon sang "There's a world outside your window.  And it's a world of dread and fear." And Sting came in and sang "Where the only water flowing is the bitter Sting of tears..."  Remember how cool you thought it was that Sting was singing the word "Sting?"  Well if you don't anymore, because this crazy business of rock has diminished your Christmas spirit, you will cause we're gonna fuckin' play it... loud.  As well as other holiday favorites and...  Pulp and Joy Division.  There may very well be drinks provided for Spin staff.  There will definitely be good cheer and Bing Crosby/David Bowie style harmony for all to enjoy.  Also, every time Ultra dances on a table, an angel gets its wings!!!!!!!

Hilarious!

Good kitty

So Totally Awesome

Paris is changing her image.

Blog of the Century

The blog of Blanket Jackson

His legs were shaking, but he steadied himself and walked across the room to a statue of Apollo, flipped open its marble head, and pressed a keypad hidden in its neck. Sirens went off. The sound of deadbolts locking echoed throughout the room, and great mechanical noises came through the window. In the distance, a hippo lowed.

Party Hard!

This is absolutely the best thing I've seen all week.

Marc helps with my memory

Markyspin: it's Nikki Sixx you tardo

that refers to the post below.

Photos

The photos are working now, btw. In case you were trying.

Keep Running Up that Hill

Placebo's cover of "Running Up that Hill" by Kate Bush is really good, and I'm sort of really upset that I can't find it on iTunes, and I have no idea which song I should buy from her. I really like the original of this song -- and now it appears that I've maxed out my credit card and can't buy anymore songs. Marc is gonna lend me a copy of The Kick. Speaking of Marc, Suicide Girls have posted an interview with him that was surprisingly interesting to me, even though I know a lot about him already.

My memory is truely a fucking piece of garbage. It's useless. I've willingly destroyed every last memory cell in my brain and I regret it. However, I can't say that I'm going to do anything to fix that. I sometimes feel like the guy from Motley Crue who overdosed (and technically died) from heroin, was revived and left the hospital only to do the biggest dose of heroin he'd ever done in his life. He learned nothing. And just like that guy from Motley Crue -- the one whose name i forget because of my brain crippling habits -- i've learned nothing. I think that sometimes i'd rather forget than remember. I remember dreams better than reality sometimes. For instance, when I was 12 i had a dream that aliens landed in my backyard and turned it all into lava (i had a gigantic back yard when i was little with a tennis court and a pool and i was always fearful that aliens were gonna land on my tennis court -- i'm not joking. and there was this endless expanse of woods behind my house that i figured was a perfect place to land a ufo). In this dream they did some pirated tv broadcast and decided to air a game show that showed my brother Albert surf boarding on the lava. I will never forget this dream.

What I did in the month of August, however, well, I have this blog to remind me.

I was looking through the archeives and thinking "whoa, i saw elefant dj this summer? whoa, I had a party?" Shit like that.

Anyway... Sunday and Monday were both sober nights for the most part. Last night i had half a beer. Elizabeth's best friend from growing up, Ariel, came over for dinner. Lizzy made us Fajitas and it was the first time I hung out with Lizzy for more than 20 minutes since forever. At 11pm I was in bed and watching the "Daily Show" and learning about politics. It's sad when the only news I get is from Comedy Central and the New York Post. Every once in a while I'm temped to read something a bit more substatial, but I think I might have Adult ADD like those commercials I keep seeing will lead me to believe. Everything happens in spurts. I pick up the phone and forget who I meant to call. I turn around and forget why I was even standing up. So unless my news can come in something short, simple, and to the point, i fear that i'm doomed.

Jude Law is stunning. I found a photo of him while downloading information into my brain. It was from the New York Post. I cut it out and taped it to my desk. Now, whenever I need inspiration I just look at him with his eyes and big non-british smile. I think: this man should be the father of my children. He's got like, 40 kids already, what's one more? Seriously, if I pulled a gwynnie with Jude, I wouldn't drink, smoke, or eat poorly for NINE MONTHS. I would do this with my other non-Jude children as well, i think. I dont want to be stuck with no "Geek Love" babies.

Chuck called me his own personal Hilton sister. That was the best compliment of my life. Chuck is sick and I hope he gets well soon.

Speaking of the Hilton Sisters, i totally forgot to watch "Simple Life" last night. I think i was so distracted by Lizzy's cooking (and doing my best to make sure that the food was prepared relatively kosher). Vicki and I decided that Paris Hilton is the ultimate democrat. Most democrats (often characterized by their forward thinking) would be less democratic about the people they sleep with. But not Paris. Paris will sleep with anyone of any sex, race, and socio-economic background. She's an equal opportunist and not even in an insincere affirmative action kind of way. She's sincerely this way. Democrats could only wish that they were as forward thinking as she is.

Thank you Chris Clark for this amazing link:
Dominic Simler, 30 years old, a managing director at 02Live (a corporation that sells Oxygen Terminals), and probably one hell of an alcoholic, has invented a device called AWOL (Alcohol Without Liquid). The device allows the user to mix alcohol and pure oxygen, getting the user drunk immediately and according to him, nixxing any hangover.

The Phantom Planet album just gets better and better every time I listen to it. Because of that...

An Open Letter to the Person Who Introduced Phantom Planet to Better Music

To Whomever It May Concern:

Thank you for lending the band Phantom Planet some good music. Maybe you accidently left your ipod at one of their houses and like, you're totally pissed cause they never returned it to you, and you probably had to buy a new ipod (which was so worth it anyway, cause you probably only had the 10 gig version while the 30 and 40 gig versions are so much better and cost the same as the 10 gig one did 2 years ago) -- but think about it -- because you did that, their new album is retarded amounts of good. This album makes me want to return TOTALLY to the days when I'd get really, really, really drunk and make out with boys who may or may not have been in bands and never return home until 4am on weeknights.

For that, I thank you.

Love,
Sarah Lewitinn

No drinks, thanks!

I haven't had a drink in two days. Maybe three? Tonight I'm drinking. I can't help it. I hate to drink. I really do... but like, the beer fairy said that he's gonna kill my friends if I stop drinking. Ack!

I added a photos page thing. You'll find it on the right column. Or here.

FYI

My photo with Ewan McGregor (which I can't put up here cuase it's going in the mag) looks a bit like this, cept we look less post coital and ewan looks more emo:


Whoa, Hotness
thanks to whatevs for this.

You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize. Test.

As if I needed a QUIZ to tell me this:


You're a Post-Punk. You know 70s punk was cool, but
it was mostly just a stepping stone for the
greater intellectualism of what would come
after. The 80s were amazing. You quite possibly
have huge hair, and may wear lots of black.
Snare drums need reverb. Lots and lots of
reverb.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

Hush Hush, keep it down now, voices carry

Julian and Regina Spektor are like, dating.

Chris and Gwen are like, married.

Fab and Drew are like, taking a break.

You're going to be tested on this tomorrow.

Threats!

Markyspin: just fucking do it or i'll make you pay
Ultragrrrl: yo, i'm working. leave me alone.
Markyspin: pay! the lights will go out and then they'll come back on again and your boobs will be missing. and by the time you realize you've been hit by a smooth criminal, i'll be down in mexico selling them on the beach.

I'm seeing Simon and Garfunkle tonight. I'm very, very, incredibly wealthy. I roll around in gigantic rooms filled with $100 bills like Scrooge Mc.Duck in "Duck Tales" the TV show. This is how afforded my ticket to tonight's show.

Paint it Old

Imagine waking up to this in the morning and thinking: "I just fucked a man who is a god and also older than God."

thanks Stereogum for the photo!

Awwww!

Just got this bit of info from Kiran: "Have you heard Drew and Fab broke up? my brit connection just said it's all the news over there."

By the Way...

The new Vines album, Winning Day is actually really great. I am slightly addicted to a song called "TV Pro" -- which is totally psychedellic and trippy and rocking all at the same time and sort of makes me want to dance naked around a bonfire. The chorus is "Ahahaha a ha!" and "Dada da da da da da da da da da". My copy is computer protected and watermarked and says my name on it -- which means I can't share it. Sorry.

Painfully Funny

Brian put up a sneak peak of his European Gay Vacation. Hilarious homoerotic clips of the travellers scaring Grant over and over and over again. It brought a tear to my eye. Watch it Now!

BTW, this weekend I sat around a lot and didnt move. Watched more VH1 on Friday and Saturday with Vicki than i ever did in my entire life. On saturday Japser from the Sounds called me to invite me to some loft party and me and vicki just sat on the couch the whole time singing along to VH1 Classics and avoiding all human interaction. "Can't talk -- tv on. Humans bad. TV good."

Mazel Tov!

Chris and Gwen are now Mr. and Mrs. Martin.

Horay!

Pretty Girl...

Audrey turned me onto the x-mas track Fiona Apple did for her label. Here she is covering "Frosty the Snowman" and sound a LOT like Edith Piaf. So fucking stunning.

Snow Day!

I love when it snows so much that it's ok for me to just stay home and watch tv. Vicki came over and we had a very VH1 evening. First was Zoolander followed by about 3 hours of VH1. "Before They Were Rockstars" followed by "Super Secret TV Formulas." The snow is so daunting. No thank you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAWRENCE!

Today is my brother Lawrence's birthday. He's having a birthday party tomorrow night at Lit (on 2nd ave) and he wants everyone to come. It's from 7-9. It will be fun. I will be drunk. I will be dancing on the tables.

I met Ewan last night. He touched me. I touched him. We took a photo together. We are in love.

I also won cause i declined the offer for an open bar. I saw a couple humping on a couch. I saw guys beating each other up. I had dinner with my family. This was a typical night for me.

BEST DAY EVER.

HOLY SHIT! LAST NIGHT I MET EWAN MCGREGOR! EWAN! EWAN!

more to come... including photo!

pop culture trivia

test out your skill with lyrics. click here

Phantom awesome

I think this is the most common IM/email/response i've been getting to that Phantom Planet album (which is to say... i've gotten close to 25 responses):
"why did a shitty band like phantom planet have to make such a good record? i feel like a tool saying 'hey have you heard the new phantom planet' " its the perfect mix of the strokes, blur, guided by voices and reggae.

the gay

This site looks seriously gay. Could someone please give me a new template to use that looks less homorific? I have no idea how to make a template.

zee ring

click here for single of the week.

ohhh

Mary-Kate Olsen's new boyfriend is the son of Hollywood producer Katezenberg (of Dreamworks SKG), which would make make MKO Jewish by penetration.

puke-o-rama

OK, so the show i was on was called "Because I Said So" and it's on Star TV? or Chum? Whoa. I was so nervous i was gonna puke. It was a live to tape tv show much like "Tough Crowd" ... i felt like a deer in headlights. I did give props to Thom Yorke and I called Justin Timberlake a God.

Canadians are so nice.

one plus one equals three

I guess Chris and Gwen decided to take practicing making babies to the next level. Gwenny is preggers.

My friend Ron is taking me to a party on Thursday for that movie Big Fish and Ewan McGregor is supposed to be there. I'm gonna wear a tshirt that says "EWAN: PUT BABY HERE" with an arrow pointing at my belly.

Last night I went to Ben's house to watch "Simple Life" with Lindsay and Jay after I DJed for some VH1 thing. Ben was nice enough to Divo it for me (Divo is what i'm calling Digital tv's version of tivo). I love Paris. I dont know about all those haters out there, but there is some sublime genius to taking high heeled shoes to a farm. Also, Nicole Richie, God bless her. I've never seen a girl so intent on sex in my life. She's why women saught sexual liberation.

I'm in Toronto today. It's so fucking cold and it took me forever to find a sushi restaurant that would deliver to the hotel... but man, was it worth it! This sushi is awesome.

Last but not least, the absolutely stunning Mary-Kate Olsen (of Olsen Twins fame). Link via Whatevs. I've been obsessed with the Olsen Twins for like, 5 years.

2ManyLittleBoys

Here's a nice mash up of MJ's "Rock with You" and "Under Pressure" : iliketofucklittleboys

Be in a music video

all the cool kids are doing it these days:

VICE Records announces:

Wanna be an extra in The Stills’ music video????

Be a part of the video for the next single Lola Stars and Stripes
Tomorrow! Wednesday December 3rd in New York City

For more info call Paladino Casting at (212) 228-5500 ASAP to register.

Look out for The Stills playing on Last Call with Carson Daly on the new airdate Wednesday December 10!

LotR - RotK

Last night I saw the last installment of Lord of the Rings.

It was really fucking great. Holy shit fight scenes. I'd see it again in a heartbeat. I want a gigantic 4 tusked elephant to ride. If that cant happen, i'd willingly trade the elephants for Orlando Bloom.

Salty Anal Bugers

Watch show clips from the Simple Life.

The last clip up there -- the one of them working at Sonic Burger -- makes me think they're actually geniuses.

PHANTOM PLANET!

download the album here: clickmemotherfuckercauseirule.

the album is like new blur and the fall and everything wonderful. they're competing with ryan adams for the award of "band/artist that sarah didnt really like before -- cept for a song or two -- that she now totally loves."

Goodbye Weekend

Holy shit?! How fucking great is that Vh1 "Big In 2003" Awards show? It's the best awards show i've ever seen i think. Totally fucking retarded in every which way. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I forget what my last posting was about, but Thanksgiving was fantastic incase I didnt mention it before. My uncle and aunt came over with their granddaughter who is so adorable, i want to eat her up. One and a half years old and already counting, singing the alphabet, and totally socialized. Such a great little girl. I want to plant one in my belly. Must stop drinking if i choose to do that. Oh the horror! However, I think that because i was so hungover from the night before, i had one sip of champagne before wanting to hurl.

Andre 3000 is the future. No joke.

Friday I met up with Ben C after shabbat dinner in Englewood. Nice to see a friend of mine from the city in my home turf. Ben is fun. Afterwards I went to Iggys on the upper east side to meet up with two of my oldest friends, Allison and Rema. I hadnt seen either of them in a couple of years and it was so nice seeing them and having a totally comfortable chemistry. I performed "Living on a Prayer" with Rema and had a drink or two, which eased my nerves on my horrible tone-deafness. I decided to liven our act a bit by jumping up on a pool table in front of me. Unfortunately i'm really really short and totally ate it butsting up my leg. It was totally fucking awesome. I rolled over on my back and managed to stand up and sing and dance on the pool table. Tables dont stand a chance with me, ever.
"Hello Mr. Table. I've had a couple of drinks and so now i'm going to stand on you because this seems like the right thing to do and i'm also very short and the only way people will be able to see me is if i gain a few feet. Thank you Mr Table. You're so kind. Let's fuck."

The next morning I got up super early to have brunch with Sydney, Allison and Syd's boyfriend Brett at that Essex place on Essex. Sydney and Allison were practically my sisters growing up. It was like being back in time or something. So fucking great. Cramed in a mimosa and a half, which sounds like a lot for breakfast, but it's better than my typical 4 mimosa minimum. Afterwards I went to see a movie with Ben and a couple of his friend. We saw The Triplets of Belleville and then i saw a heart shaped cloud in the sky. No joke.

Later that night I went to meet up with Dalia, who is one of my best friends and I've known her since i was 6 or 7. I hadnt seen her in a year because everytime she's in the city (she's attends school in boston) she goes to super pretentious clubs and bars with her other friends. While she invites me, I just don't feel really comfortable at those bars, can't afford them, and boys aren't trying to buy me drinks like they are her and her other friends -- hopefully because i'm a bit too downtown for them and not because i'm like totally ugly. I finally managed to get Dalia to come to one of my watering holes and she totally loved it. She thought Lit was very hippy-esque -- which is hilarious to me -- and made her feel like she was in a Doors movie. The thing about Dalia is that she can't walk down the street without attracting attention. She's gorgeous like Jessica Simpson style (only more petite), and black men LOVE HER. She could be the new star of the Black People Love Us website. All men love her and she's totally fucking out of her mind. It's amazing. Some guy pushed me when he was racing down the street and she tried starting a fight with him. So great.

At Lit, I only had ONE drink and Brian managed to snap a picture up my skirt. It looks like abstract art, not like the view to kill he was hoping for. I guess that's thanks to the red tights and GIGANTIC ASS. Also, Ben and co. came to meet up. His friend Natalka has awesome hair, and his friend Jay looks like Ryder Strong. I feel like Topanga.

Today was Brian day. We went to brunch, the movies, he then brought me home and showed me pictures of Grant's balls in a site update preview. Brian should model, no joke. Then Vicki came over and we ate and watched TV. No booze today!

Motherfucker Fun (courtesy of Andy):

Me and Raphael. Raph believes that if you look directly at the camera, it will steal your soul. This is why he's never looking at the camera, ever.


Me and Andy. It looks like I'm holding on for dear life. I probably was. Brian thinks that Andy is a dead ringer for Edward Norton.