IF I TOLD YOU, I'D HAVE TO KILL YOU

Lots of stuff happened, but here's some of it since it's all a blur and the important stuff I can't share.

London was fun. Kim and David are the best. Greg and Raphael cause trouble in every room they walk into. Karen was a perfect partner in crime. We saw the Killers 3 times in 2 days. I was in the same room as Thom Yorke but not Muse (ha! i even stalked their us a&r guy at the nme's to tell him that was so stoked that he signed them -- he was like "i heard about you..."). I fell asleep during the NME awards while drinking a beer. Petted Imran's babe-magnet afro. Danced on stage with Whitehouse and tried to get kicked out of the awards. Went to an after party at the Key West Hotel (after calling it Key Lime about 9 times) that was being hosted by Jet and Har Mar. Senior from Junior Senior was hanging out. He's really gay. Didn't see Kate Moss. Danced a lot. Shopped. Ate things with mayo. Holy shit i drank so much that I started sweating beer. Pete Libertines tried to take my beer right out of my hands when i was telling the Queens of Noize that i thought they were hot -- which they are. I danced with boys. I danced with girls. I danced on tables and chairs. I ate nine plates of conveyor belt sushi from Yo! Sushi (the british are notorious for not knowing how to cook... so i stuck to things that didnt need to be cooked basically). I saw Joe from the Icarus Line. I saw a boy I like. I saw a couple of boys I used to like. I saw a couple of boys I'll always like. I danced with them. I walked to the tube station with Karen while very drunk singing the Killers and then upon realizing that i was about to get on to the Northern Line tube I started singing "Boarderline" by Madonna, but changed the words to "Northern line, feels like i'm gonna lose my mind, if you keep on pushing my tube to the northern line" or something -- i'm not sure since i was drunk and persuaded another drunk couple to join me in singing after i stopped them from physically fighting. People in England dont like Arabs so there were times when cabs wouldn't stop for me and my friends or restaurants wouldn't seat us. The exchange rate is bullshit. The tap water sucks. Coke (the drink) tastes like poo. My friends there in London, they're the finest. They're the sweetest. The soundtrack of my trip would include "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand, "Rip it Up" by Razorlight, and "Transatlanticism" by Death Cab for Cutie.

Photos are coming. I swear.

Franz Ferdinand are playing tonight. Everyone's plus ones got taken away due to everyone wising up and wanting to go. So if anyone has a ticket for my roommate and a friend, please let me know. Thanks.

Check out how smart Franz Ferdinand are (even if they dont mean to be). A Must Read.