Tuesday, May 11, 2004


It's about fucking time i got my shit together and posted about my weekend! Started shit off on friday at the Lewitinn Residence in Tenafly where I rocked out with the G to the O to the D. My mom just got surgery and she refuses to take her oxycodone after I told her that it's equivalent to heroin and she should be careful. Now, I realize that it was so refuckingtarded of me to say that since she's been moaning in pain for days. Man, and she could've been in such a cool rehab center with all those famous people! I'm joking of course. I just want her to get better so she can get back in the kitchen where women belong.

OK, so Saturday was so much awesome. I DJed my first ever wedding -- which was totally the best thing I've ever done. Played a bit of the 50s stuff and jazz for the older folks, duran duran and madonna for the younger kids, but easily the most incredible moment -- that was thankfully captured on tape by Raphael the Boyfriend -- was when, my third song in, I dropped the Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Maps" bomb and got to watch about 20 couples stop dancing and turn to me with a look of "holy shit, what the fuck do we do." and then watch 10 of those couples, all older, decide to ballroom dance to it. It was the most exciting experience of my life. I can't wait to DJ my next wedding... no idea when that'll be. Anyway, many thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Hildenberger for inviting me to DJ their wedding! Mazel Tov!

By the way, Raphael is gonna digitize the video for me so I can post it on my blog. I can't fucking wait.

After the wedding I headed over to Misshapes to participate in the first ever TARTS OF PLEASURE VS. DEATH & DESTRUCTION DJ BATTLE! Despite the photo (click her for larger image), I didn't actually get a black eye since DJ's Death & Destruction are total fucking pussies and I kicked their asses twice with the help of my trusty dancer KarenPlusOne. Uncle Grambo will be sad to hear that I didn't repeat this buzz cause i was wearing an expensive dress. But I guess karma is a bitch since Alex Chow, i mean DJ Death (or Destruction?) accidently spilled half of his really sweet and sticky drink on my head when my friend Ben dipped me while dancing. It was hilarious and my hair was totally "Something About Mary" in the morning... minus the spunk.

The word in the girls room was:
girl one: i think the girls one.
girl two: thanks, hey do you want some? I think they won too.
girl three: yeah, thank you. i think the boys are pussies.

I guess they started showing Michael Caine movies in the bathroom.

Anyway, I managed to make out with more boys then a girl should. I guess those are the perks of being the DJ.

Sunday was Mothers Day and it took an army of phone calls to wake me up. Clinton Street Bakery finally got me out of bed so I could have their FUCKING AMZING Huevos Rancheros. People, if you haven't tried these yet and you live in nyc, you must hop in a cab on saturday morning and get this IMMEDIATELY. After brunch I went to the UWS to go DVD shopping with my homobro for my mom and then we went back to Tenafly so I could hear my mom complain about not buying her flowers.

Yesterday I went to check out the Cardigans at Bowery and had the delightful pleasure of not only seeing Johnathan Rice perform, but also witness Lindsayism's first J.Rice show. She fucking loved him, and I fucking loved him. Then Aqualung played and I was floored. Lindsay left and Johnathan plied me with more JesusJuice then Michael Jackson would advise is appropriate. He nearly had to hold me up during the Cardigan's slightly disappointing set of new songs. My friend Steve was nice enough to drive me home where I discovered that when you puke red wine, it come out looking really fucking cool in your toilet. Purple is my favorite color. What a pleasure!

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention that Karen made me a fantastic mix cd called: The KarenPlusOne Guide to Liking Zeppelin Even If You're a PostPunk-Phile who Wants To Give Morrissey a Hand Job.

Bummed she left out "Immigrant Song" but I totally loved it none-the-less. She made it for me after I revealed to her, that much like Brandon Flowers of the Killers, the only music that I really recognized pre-1978 were the Beatles and RollingStones. I'm stupid, i know, so sue me.

And Greg the Boyfriend shared this lovely tidbit with me after I revealed to him that he's one of the best kissers in the history of kissers: "I kissed some woman that I grabbed on the street and
made dance with me in the rain. after we danced, I picked her up honeymoon
style and sat her on a newspaper stand and kissed her, to which she screamed
"you just Frenched me!" then I smiled, got in a cab and went away. She was
smiling when I looked back."

Some links:

Reading Lineup

Be this guy's girlfriend. From Gabrielle.


Anonymous said...

I think i'm in love with you.

Steve said...

Fucking... why don't I have weekends like that??

Greg the Boyfriend said...

You have the softest lips ever. Thanks for the kisses, even if I am just one many, I like the kisses anyway.

Anonymous said...

Greg and i were are the cardigans too, where were you?!! We totally missed both opening acts, and totally loved the cardigans' set. I really wanted to see Jonathan Rice too.

p.s. this new blogger comment thingy confuses me

Sarah said...

Holy Shit! Greg the boyfriend has a blog! I think that's my first ever spin-off! I'm so excited to read it every day!

Audrey, this comment thing confuses me too. Anyway, i was upstairs during the show on the righ balcony. i saw steve and doug afterwards and i'm so bummed that i missed you and greg! i REALLY wish they played olderstuff tho.

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

(janelle says:) i already told karen if i don't elope i want you all to dj my wedding. your set was super mega white hot, and i only heard the last 6 tracks.

Anonymous said...

i saw the cardigans, too. but i thought the new material was really nice, for what the cardigans are about. i guess ill have to wait until the record comes out to really compare/contrast.