Friday, May 7, 2004


OK, this is my last post of the day -- or at least for the next few hours.

For what it's worth, everything I learned about modern-boys I learned from Andy dePunk. Many months ago I flirted with him, he laid down the "how to flirt properly with boys" law, and it's worked out really fucking well for the most part. At first when I read his email i was like "is he serious?" and asked Brian "Is he for real? This is how you guys are?" When he confirmed Andy's revelation I promptly deleted the phone numbers of boys I was persuing, or rather, hoping to be persued by. This story could go on, but then it'd venture on really personal territory and while I feel alright talking about my drinking and narcotic habits and making outs and interests in burying my face in the underaged and freckled breasts of Lindsay Lohan, I strangely don't feel comfortable talking about my actual love life. I never thought there'd be a day when I'd want to have at least one secret.

Anyway, now you too can learn what I learned from Andy.

Maybe you'll have a Mermaid Baby. OK, that's not funny. I'm not laughing. I'm just informing you guys that a baby was born and this baby resembles a mermaid. This baby is adorable.

I'm always teased about the time I was on MTV2's "22 Greatest Bands" proclaiming my total love for Linkin Park. Well, fuck y'all. Yesterday I got to interview Chester Bennington (the white dude who sings and looks emo). Our interview was supposed to be 10 minutes but we started geeking out on Placebo together and it lasted an hour.

I also spoke to Wayne from the Flaming Lips for a half hour today about life in a bubble. He was quite nice and friendly andwe talked about Radiohead. I like it when rock stars holla to their significant others while i'm on the phone with them. I feel like they're letting me in on something really personal in their life, when in reality, they're like "yo, what was the name of that festival?"

Lindsayism, my new roommate who doesn't seem to mind living with me yet, noted that MKOlsen is rocking the same eye makeup that I used to rock and have recently ressurected. My brother said that MKO and I both look alike cause we look like monkeys. Between her, the singer of the killers, and Brian from Placebo [see below], i really dont mind looking like a girl. Certainly not an incredibly skinny and wealthy monkey.

Now, for those of you who plan on seeing "A New York Minute" this weekend, and are wondering "Sarah, you're so drunk, have you forgotten to post a review of the movie?" My answer is yes. I am so drunk that i've forgotten. But actually, I'm also not sure this movie is for everyone. It's not like "Freaky Friday" where the story line is really thick and thoughtful, but it's also not like "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" where it's totally lacking any sense. It's a big budgeted Olsen movie that is full of sexual ennuendo, really hot twins, loads of b-list cameos, and silly girlie playfulness. It's not the best movie of all time. It's not the worst. It's a drinking film. So here is the:


1 SHOT: Everytime it's suggested that Jane (Ashley Olsen) is naked.
1 SHOT: For every sexual ennuendo.
1 SHOT: For every b-list celebrity cameo
1 SHOT: For every b-list reoccuring character
1 SHOT: For every time the name SIMPLE PLAN is uttered
-1 SHOT: For every time you want to do something really inappropriate to either twin.

You'll leave the movie totally sober with that last one up there. Sorry dudes. It's official. You want to bang 17 year old twins. I mean, who doesnt?!

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