Wednesday, February 9, 2005


First off, the blogging world has totally failed to mention the latest episode of the Osbournes. I stopped watching the show about 9 seasons ago, but when I saw a promo for the Kelly rehab episode, I knew i had to watch. First off, Jack Osbourne = super sluth. He was piecing together clues that he found -- a fork in the library, a candlestick in the bathroom -- to figure out that big sister Kelly was abusing drugs. For my brother it was a bit easier (ie: "sarah, what was that white pill you just took?" "oh, uh... just a vicodin... cause i uh... had a root canal." "that was six months ago." "it still hurts. HEY! THEY WERE PERSCRIBED TO ME SO THEY CAN'T BE BAD.")

Then the geniuses at MTV put together a psychedellic montage using Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" to better illustrate Kelly falling down the rabbit hole of opiates, which made me want to do opiates and listen to Jefferson Airplane.

After Sharon and Ozzy dropped Kelly off at Promises rehab center, the Shazza called up Kelly's best friend Sarah's mom and told her that Sarah was not allowed to hang out with Kelly anymore (since Sarah was a REALLY bad influence on Kelly... she was really). When Sarah's mom tried to defend her daughter, Sharon unleashed her mom-beast and told the other mom that she and her daughter were hustlers (further accented by Sharon pointing out that the mom was a fortune teller) and then calling her a cunt. I think a sign that I'm 25 is that i was cheering on Sharon rather than wince with embarassment like I did when my mom and dad did that to all my friends in middle school. and high school. and they probably would still do that if i gave them my friend's numbers.

Anyway, I got the new KO cd the other day and it's actually like Kylie Minogue or even Pet Shop Boys at time. I think KO is gonna be a gay icon in about 50 minutes as a result. I think i need to listen to it while hopped up on funpills to be sure.

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