Tuesday, January 20, 2004


Friday night: OK, typically my Friday nights are reserved for going to my parent's house in Tenafly where I eat the Thanksgiving-like feast my mom prepares and then retire up to my room to watch comedy central and talk on AIM to my friends who have yet to go out for the night as i'm sitting in Jersey staring at my blind dog as she walks in circles looking for her water dish. However, lately my parents have been going down to Miami like it's about to break off the continent and dissolve into the golf. So this friday as my mom lived it up with her sister and kids in south beach, shabbating and probably arguing, me and my brother and father went to my mom's brother's house for dinner. It was fun. I quickly filled my father in on what i've been up to lately since we dont really talk that much. not because we dont get along -- we get along better these days than ever before -- but mostly because he seemed to be paying attention. He nodded his head and said "that's good."

After dinner Lawrence dropped me off at Hi-Fi so i could help Adam Mandel ring in his 29th year. His mom bought me a beer, which was awesome. Then J.Go dropped the biggest bomb of a question ever. I mean, apart from asking me to marry him -- which he does daily -- he asked me if we could raise little Moz, Bowie, and Jager as atheists. Are you fucking kidding me. I feel like writing a children's book in the same vain as "Heather has Two Mommies" but mine will be called "Why Your Daddy Hates God." Jesus, i sound like some sort of heeb freak. I'm not.

Anyway, Jason and Gordon introduced me to Diana who will be sharing a bungalo with us during Coachella and Adam told me that when he told his exroommate that he'd be sharing a bungalo with me, his reaction was "she puts the bung in bungalo." and "I'd like to put "it inn" Lewitinn."

Saturday: I refused to leave the house. I hate the cold and the cold hates me. Seriously, on my way back home from Adam's party, the milk in my breasts froze. Like two massive rock hard ice sculptures attached to my body, i'm still waiting and hoping they'll defrost by the time i make out with someone. Dare to dream.

So I spent the whole time on my couch watching TV. I woke up at 3pm, so i was the ultimate in slothness. I can't even tell you what I watched. Eventually I remembered that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey would be on SNL so i called Lindsay and Whatevs and told them to swing by to watch it with me if they wanted. When they agreed I called Laura and Brian and Greg to see if they wanted to come over as well. At 11:30pm nobody was there and I was about drift into sleep when I got a call and suddenly my room was filled with 2ManyBloggers. Since it'll take me more time than i can handle to do the html for everyone that was there, i'll skip that: Lindsayism, Whatevs, The Minor Fall the Major Lift (whom i nearly kicked out for 5 different reasons -- including dissing radiohead -- but sent me a nice email today, so he can't be all that bad), Elizabeth Spiers, KarenPlusOne, NewYorkDoll, maybe some others? Dunno. For anyone that wasn't invited, please don't take offense. I told Laura to tell everyone at Dennis' show to come over, so blame her, my beautiful scapegoat. I honestly thought nobody would show up and didnt even bother buying more beer. Thankfully people came prepared. Oh, and I taught some super cute swedish guy how to knit -- which would've been cooler if he was from Norway, and made everyone watch the Olsen twin movie "When in Rome" and "Zoolander." You know, what, it was actually a really lovely, spur of the moment shindig. I also think that Whatevs is so fucking cool. Best evs!

Sunday: I woke up at about 3 and had Brunch with Sarah Wilson at Clinton Street Bakery (surprise, surprise -- i need to move my bed into there for real). We were gonna see "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" but it was sold out so we went to see the Mandy Moore movie called "Chasing Liberty" which was actually really great. I fucking love Mandy Moore. I love that she's not skinny and kind of plump with a belly and big boobs. Plus, her acting was really great in the movie. Really great. Not as good as Charlize Theron but maybe better than Christina Ricci. She's underrated.

After the movie i bough $50 in magazines and went home. Got dressed to see Laura and Rob Sheff DJ at Filter 14 and had one motivation in mind: get drunk. For real, i think i'm totally incapable of getting intoxicated. I can get stoned, that's easy. But getting actually drunk is another. I miss those days so fucking much. I miss the days when my friends would first look at me with a huge smile laughing as i toppled over and then i miss the look they'd have when i'd drop to the ground and take a nap spontaneously. These days i have too much control. Control is so overrated. Substance abuse is a lost art. I danced with the fine folks at Filter 14. Audrey, Jenny, Dan, Rob, Lizzy, Marc, Giulia, all of them. We danced to Laura. Booed the electroclash band and the not-so-good DJ who DJed in the front room during Grand Mal (which prompted Lizzy and Marc to offer me money to tell the DJ to change the music -- and when i refused Jenny did it for free). Danced some more to Rob. Then my friend Evan showed up. I've known Evan since kindergarden and so he came and we danced. Then i hopped into a cab with laura and evan and headed off to Bar 13 for Shout! Where I danced some more. Eventually I had to pee and went to wait outside a bathroom door for someone to come out. The first door that opened revealed J.Gordon. I pushed him back into the bathroom and proceeded to make out with him until the bouncer told us to get out.

Here is Marc protecting my identity since I looked worse than Britney Spears after a night of marriages:

Monday: I woke up on monday at 3pm again and met up with Brian at Pink Pony for some brunch. Ate two main courses. I'm such a pig sometimes, but i was hungry. I'm always hungry. Maybe if i ate less i'd get drunk faster?

I went home to watch some TV and nap some more and got Nate a cheesecake for his birthday after i finished watching American Idol in Lizzy's room since my tv is broken suddenly. After cake, Nate went to meet up with his band, Lizzy went to work on her NME piece and I sat in my room staring at the wall. My friend Kris then called me inviting me down to Max Fish for a drink with Franz Ferdinand and Chris Newmeyer (also from Domino records). By the time I got there, the rhythm section were the only ones left and hardly able to see straight. Karen stopped by and it looked like I was gonna leave shortly after arriving so I told Vicki not to come down, which i now regret doing because the rest of the night (which was only about 1.5 hours long in total) turned out to be totally random. I hung out with Paul and Bob of Franz and Kris and they seemed a bit excited to know that we had a friend in common in Barry (who was once a teenager and as of sunday, became 20, i'm still mourning his teenagerdom and thanking god that he delivered him to me when he was still 19).

About 20 minutes after i got there, Paul was like, cross eyed with drunkenness and couldnt really utter anything other than the fact that he was pissed that he couldnt get his fiance into the nme awards and was thinking about not going. i asked him about 40 times how long he's been engaged, and his eyes drifted down past my eyes, past my mouth, and onto the floor as they violently crossed themselves as if the words coming out of his mouth were making him ill.

Just before I left I ran into my friend PJ who i see randomly but it's always really nice to run into him since he was one of my first post-high school friends that i had made. Then Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley came over and asked me to help her find her jacket. My eyes were so dry from the heater that i could hardly think because i was concentrating on keeping my contacts in my eyes. I made no sense when talking to her but made sure to tell her how much Sarah Wilson loves her. After finding her coat, i was about to walk out the door and suddenly Zev Borrow passed me. We start chatting and then Kelly Osbourne walked by. We made eye contact. She came over and we started talking. I haven't seen her since November. She looked great. I miss her sometimes. I miss a lot of people sometimes. But we hugged, said goodbye. I then hugged Zev, wished him farewell and went to San Loco with the boys and Karen. Bob and i contemplated getting into a fist fight after eating tacos, but it was really cold outside and i didnt feel like going outside. adding insult to impending injury, i told bob that i could never punch him cause he's got the face of a little baby. instead we held up our palms and started punching each other to see who could punch the hardest. he punched alright, and i kept on punching the hand until he said "oh. i gotta play tomorrow. maybe i shouldnt do this?" so we stopped. the fight is so on tonight. i have no idea what sparked it.

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