WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Good news for all of you who like bad news: North Korea is saying that South Korea's actions are driving the peninsula to the "brink of war."NK is like that boyfriend that says his girlfriend made him hit her. Obama vowed to defend South Korea if North Korea tries anything more. This has potential to be so fucking shitty for everyone.
• An Indonesian cleric has been jailed for marrying a 12 year old girl. He said he was gonna wait til she hit puberty before banging his bride ... I'm not sure why he couldn't just wait until puberty to marry her. On top of that, he also stated that he was planning on marrying two other girls, aged 7 and 9 (Muslims are allowed up to 4 wives in Indonesia). In case you were wondering, the childbride was delivered back to her parents by cops immediately following the wedding -- not sure why they weren't arrested as well.
• Speaking of child molesting priests, a priest who was accused of molesting a kid managed to prove that he's a super scumbag by hiring a undercover agent as a hitman to kill the kid he molested. Way to be Holy, asshole.
• The 29 miners that were trapped in the New Zealand mine are presumed dead following a second explosion. Why are mines suddenly in the news so much? Have they been this disastrous in the past, or is this a new phenom?
• San Francisco is filled with geniuses: they're regulating their Happy Meals. Now, in order for a McDonalds in SF to offer happy meals with toys, they have to meet certain dietary standards. There's hopes that this will help fight childhood obesity and that other cities will follow suit.
• Fans have been lined up at a Barnes & Nobel in Phoenix since 1am for a Sarah Palin book signing. Mark my words: She is going to run for President in 2012, and she is going to win. Do I want her to? No. But she will. She's doing everything right. She knows that popularity wins and she's working on spinning every aspect of her life to make her popular.
• It looks like things like the interwebs is making insider trading more and more gray.
• Facebook just won the trademark on the word FACE. Face. FACE!?
• SpaceX, the first commercial-based company has been granted permission to have their spacecraft return to earth after leaving it.
• This Sunday "60 Minutes" will be taking an inside look on the new Spiderman musical that Bono wrote. It's the most expensive musical ever and it just so happens to have one of my best friends in it! Mazel Tov, Mat Devine!!!
• Cookie Monster wants to be on SNL. This isn't newsworthy, but I figured that it's a light hearted thing that can be used to change the topic when things get heavy or heated during Thanksgiving dinner.
• Kuwait is looking to ban the use of digital cameras in public by anyone who isn't an accredited journalist.
• In Israel you are required to do about 2 years in the army, no matter what. I've found that this has toughened up a lot of Israeli's that I know and given them a "no bullshit" attitude that can sometimes be seen as abrasive. Obviously, some Israeli citizens have no interest in being in the army -- especially with things being so tense. But, being the industrious people that they are, the Israeli government is now using Facebook to track down draft dodgers. Way to go, Facebook, way to go.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Even Rupert Murdoch is worried about China's growing economic power. Shit is gonna get really messed up over here in the States. What dialect of Chinese should I be learning? Seriously.
• Germany has raised their security alert because of suspected terrorist activity.
• A new superbug has emerged in Europe called NDM-1. In fact, one of the dudes from the European Center for Disease Prevention called it a "Super superbug." 77 cases have appeared in multiple countries in the EU, and 3 in the states. The bug is immune to almost all vaccines and can cause UTIs and pneumonia. They also said that it may have been spread from India. Good times.
• Super long profile about Sarah Palin in New York Times. She's totally gonna run for President in 2012 and she's totally going to win. She knows that popularity rules uber alles. Shoot, she's also probably been prepping and learning things and stuff.
• The Egyptian blogger who was jailed for insulting the President of Egypt and possibly insulting Islam, has finally been released after 4 years. What would you tell this blogger he missed while he was away?
• The TSA is going to have a lot of essplainin to do pretty soon. I'm doubtful this new security situation is going to last much longer: Airline pilots are trying rally against it, an online group is trying to initiate some sort of "National Opt-Out Day" (November 24), the Taiwanese animated our biggest fears, the TSA has been hit by lawsuits, and even beloved illusionist, Penn Jillett called the cops on a TSA agent that felt his crotch without asking first. Will you be opting out next time you fly? Here's what happens when you decline a full body scan.
• Japan is working on making the future happen now with facial recognition vending machines.
• The first transgendered trial judge in the country has been elected. Big day!
• Waist-high flooding in England.
• The FDA is probably gonna ban caffeinated alcoholic drinks, and FOURLoko is changing it's ingredients... which will kill the product anyway since it tastes like crap.
• The police have taken the producer of "Survivor" into custody cos they think he was involved in his wife's murder in Mexico.
• Cholera has hit the Dominican Republic.
• Strong earthquake in Indonesia. No damage. Thank goodness.