Friday, September 30, 2005


I was sitting at work, minding my own business when I came across an article about the man who invented Valium. In the article, it said: "Sternbach, an award-winning chemist who helped the Swiss drug conglomerate Roche Group build its U.S. headquarters in Nutley, N.J., after fleeing the Nazis during World War II, died in Chapel Hill, N.C., after a short illness late Wednesday. His wife, sons and other relatives were at his side, according to the company."

Which sparked a rather morbid IM conversation with a close friend of mine:

Ultragrrrl: i hope i'm not alone when i die.
my friend: You won't be
Ultragrrrl: i jsut read an article about the inventor of Valium. he died yesterday and the article said he was surrounded by his wife and kids when that happened, and at that moment "in an aeroplane over the sea" came on, and i thought, wow, I really dont want to be alone when I die.
Ultragrrrl: I hope not.
Ultragrrrl: Who knows, i could die in my sleep. i could die in a car accident. i hope when i die, it's while i'm with someone who loves me so they can continue living knowing i didnt die alone.
my friend: You won't be alone
Ultragrrrl: do you plan on killing me to make sure that happens?
my friend: Yeah but if you're dead, you're dan.
my friend: Dead
my friend: Not dan
my friend: You're sarah
Ultragrrrl: I dont want to be Dan.
my friend: Hehe
Ultragrrrl: My dog died in my arms. She wasn't alone.
Ultragrrrl: it's so weird when you think about life and how pointless it is, yet I want to live.
my friend: Totally pointless, yet totally desirable and urgent.
my friend: If you think about it, nothing matters.
Ultragrrrl: nothing matters AT ALL.
my friend: Because in the end your alone and you die
my friend: Its so depressing
Ultragrrrl: in the end, death is the only constant.
Ultragrrrl: we live in social order because people are essentially social creatures who want to experience things with people.
my friend: Morrissey has the most touching lyric about life and death
Ultragrrrl: what is it?
my friend: "When I'm lying in my bed, I think about life and I think about death. And neither one particularly appeals to me."
Ultragrrrl: i havent thought about that lyric in AGES.
my friend: I think about it everyday
Ultragrrrl: i suppose humanity is nothing but a chain reaction.
Ultragrrrl: you need to not be in dispair so the people around you aren't in dispair, and the people around them.
my friend: I want everyday of my life to be amazing
Ultragrrrl: i want everyday of your life to be amazing.
Ultragrrrl: wow!
Ultragrrrl: i feel like the only thing that i'm ever anxious about is money. i want money. i dont want to let people down financially. but lately, i care a lot less about things. I didnt have sex cause i was completely in fear of it. I didn't do drugs cause of fear. but i dont know what i'm scared about.
my friend: Yeah
Ultragrrrl: i think about death a lot these days, i think cause people i know are dropping like flies.
my friend: Aw
Ultragrrrl: i dont mean that in a sad way.
Ultragrrrl: i just mean it in a reality way. at least art lasts forever.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this subject they care to share?

Or you can enjoy this Mock Trailer of "Shining" that Paul Hanley sent me.

The SPIN 20th Anniversary Bash on Wednesday went really well. Those sort of things could go so terribly wrong all the time. From a performer not showing up to a guest getting into a brawl, so many factors can put an event that's supposed to be really fun into geopardy. Thankfully, that wasn't the case here.

I spent the day attepting, but failing, to power nap. I can't remember what I did for most of the day (including the actual party itself), but I'm pretty sure it included a lot of working from home. It seems like I've been goofing off a lot less and focusing on work a lot more, or at least trying to. Oh wait, now i remember... that day I went out to lunch at Teany with my roommate Gurj and then headed back home where I spent the afternoon TOASTING ROSE PETALS. I finally figured out that if I put those rose petals in the toaster and bake them for a minute and then let them cool off for another 5 mintues, I'm left with nearly perfect rose petals that don't rot and dry quite nicely. These days, at APT 3A, if you have to use the toaster, you've gotta go into my room. It's kinda silly. My rose toasting ceremony was accented by a delightful visit by Brandon and his girlfriend Lauren bearing Hogaarden beers ("I brought Hogaardens for ... my ho garden."), which I couldn't touch since I was working. Sad. But I guess it's good to know that when left to my own devices I can restrict my indulgences.

Gurj and I met up with the NOY Boy Toys outside of Webster Hall. Brandon, Joe, Joe's girlfriend Jenne, and myself walked the red carpet and got interviewed. I haven't been able to watch the video, sadly, but Brandon said that he and I were the walking equivlent to "Curbed Your Enthusiasm," which means that it's probably cringeworthy to watch, but a trainwreck designed for pure enjoyment. We're more Larry and Jeff than Larry and Cheryl.

There was an open bar downstairs in the greenroom which I indulged in before, after, and during my DJ set. Karen told me that Vodka sodas are calorie and carbohydrate free, so I didn't feel guilty pumping that shit through my veins. By the time NOY took the stage I was sauced up and danced up front with Jenne and friends. After that set Brandon and I attempted to check out the party. I got a little overwhelmed, lost Brandon in the shuffle, and found him back in the greenroom where I got another drink -- which now makes sense... 7 drinks in the night... ok, now i know why i couldn't really last past 12am. I missed the Living Things cause gravity was having it's way with me. I came home and watched Curbed, Degrassi, and sadly missed Death Cab for Cutie and Public Enemy. If there was a power to fight, it was my sobriety.

Yesterday I had the interns come over. I've got two new interns to add to the already fabulous Jordana: Nick and Sasha. I've known Nick from the internet for a couplel years and Sasha is a friend of his. We spent most of the time watching "Degrassi: The Next Generation," listening to demos from bands I fucking love, new oohlas songs, and making those Nightmare of You singles that are the bane of my existance. We managed to make about 30 of them in one day! Holy shit... only 2 dozen more to send out and those things will finally be out of my life. I love NOY. I love those singles. But i'd love my life back!

When 8pm rolled up the interns opted for staying in to watch the OC rather than going to class, going to their own homes, and going wherever else they had to go. I left them to check out a band called Warren Suicide at Rothko. They were a great, possibly german? techno rock trio. Male/Female vocals. I spent the entire time trying out new dance moves and thinking about how cool it must be to be from wherever they're from. Then I went home. I meant to go to Elhaam's birthday party, but my bed needed me.

This morning I had to get up super early to audition for an MTV-U gig. I'm not sure how that went. Probably not too hot since it was early (for me) and outdoors and today is the first freezing fucking cold day of the year. My luck!

Tonight I'm going back to NJ for dinner w/my family then heading over to the Orchard Bar for STOLEN TRANSMISSION! The party has been going so well, and some friends of mine who are playing in Long Island tonight might make a quick visit, which would be nice.

Anyone going to the Across the Narrows show tomorrow? Which one? the Pixies or the Killers? I'm going to be hitting up the Killers one... between them, Interpol, British Sea Power, and Tegan & Sara, it's like my ideal evening. Oh joy!

I love you deeply,

I recently shot this thing for MTVU called SOUNDTRACK. It used to be that you could only watch MTVU on college campuses, but that's changed. Now you can go to and see all their programming ON DEMAND... Including my "Soundtrack" show! But sadly, this only works for people on PCs (no macs, dunno why). The way to get to it is to go to the site and click on the WATCH NOW button under the giant U on the left of the screen. Choose "Watch MTV U On Demand"... a window will pop up and on the left side you'll see little me under SOUNDTRACK. (you can also click on "all shows" and choose "soundtrack" there.)

There's one segment where I'm hanging out with Nightmare of You in my room... which is the G-Rated Version of what we normally do. There's also a segment where I'm hanging out and DJing with Karen... and I finally notice that I'm REALLY FUCKING SHORT. Holy shit. I need to get platforms ASAP.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Someone suggested I mention on here that I will be on the Morning Sedition show on Air America. If you're in the NYC area, you can hear it at 1190AM. I'm appearing LIVE at 7:30 am (or at least that's when the show begins... not sure my exact air time).

When I showed up to my uncle's shiva last week dressed a bit casual, my brother Albert yelled at me about it. I replied "Chill out! I just came from work! Give me a break!" To which one of my cousins replied "You go to work LIKE THAT?" When Albert said I looked like shit, I said "That's because i've been up since 8am!" Yeah... that answer didn't really win much sympathy either.

So, I suppose other folks wake up at really early hours... if you're one of those people, check me out on Air America.

Monday, September 26, 2005


My old stomping grounds, SPIN, is turning 20! To celebrate this event, they're throwing themselves a killer party that you can get tickets to.

The show's main stage -- hosted by Juliette Lewis -- will feature live performances from Public Enemy, Death Cab for Cutie, LCD Soundsystem, Drive-By Truckers, and Lady Sovereign, plus DJ sets from Afrika Bambaataa, Diplo, DFA, DMC, and the Rub. Tickets are on sale now via TicketWeb.

The Living Things and Nightmare of You, plus a special surprise guest, will appear on the OP Lounge second stage at New York's Webster Hall during Spin's 20th anniversary bash next Wednesday night (Sept. 28). Guest DJs Tommie Sunshine, Ultragrrrl (hey, that's me!), and the Husky Gentleman will be spinning sets throughout the night.

During the event, Spin will conduct a silent auction to benefit the MusiCares Hurrricane Relief Fund. Items include a customized Spin20 Schecter guitar (signed by the show's performers, pictured below); signed and numbered prints of the Spin20 poster (pictured above), designed by renowned artist Shepard Fairey; and other signed memorabilia from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Metallica, Garbage, Interpol, Sting, Fountains of Wayne, and others, plus items from all the performers and DJs. All proceeds from the auction go directly to MusiCares. Spin, Webster Hall, Bowery Presents, and Shepard Fairey have all pledged to donate a portion of the proceeds from Spin20 to MusiCares' fund.



My buddy Siege's family lost all their belongings in Hurricane Katrina. His gorgeously tragic photos, which you can see here, showcase the devastation the storm brought to the south.

In order to raise money for his family, Seige has an amazing array of items up for auction which you can bid on or check out HERE. If you can't afford the items up for auction, but would like to donate a little, you can still do that via paypal.

Message from Siege:

My mom grew up poorer than poor in New Orleans, in a shotgun shack on McKain Street, with nine people living in three rooms. Christmas was Toys for Tots, dental care was having their teeth removed at Charity Hospital. Through it all they stuck together, and slowly over the course of years managed to work for a slightly better life, even if it was still below the poverty line, or the very shaky bottom rung of middle class. My mom raised me and my little brother alone, working three jobs, and I promised myself I'd take care of her when I could. This March I was finally able to make good on that promise, when I used my life savings to buy her a humble trailer she had fallen in love with in Mississippi, and gave it to her for my birthday. It was the first thing she'd ever owned, aside from junker cars. She named her humble trailer "Eden", and was as happy as I've ever seen her, which is pretty damn happy.

Then Katrina came. Now she's lost it all. The trailer, nestled between Bay St. Louis, MS and Slidell, LA, was submerged under over twenty feet of water when the storm surge came ashore. Thankfully, my mom and little brother were in a shelter in Kiln, and true to form, having volunteered in battered women's shelters and homeless shelters hew whole adult life, my mom spent the four days she was in the hurricane shelter helping the elderly and sick. Yes, I'm saying my mom is a redneck Mother Theresa (in fact, Theresa's her Confirmation name). Anyway, "Eden" has four feet of muck and dead shrimp and carp from Pearl River in it, and it's molding and ruined. My mom's now homeless, squatting in an evacuated home in Slidell. All she's got is the clothing on her back, and a few family photos she managed to grab. My little brother, 13, has nothing for school, and no medication for his asthma.

I'm going down tomorrow to pick her and my little brother up, to bring supplies, and to survey the damage. The rest of my family didn't fare much better. My aunt's home was destroyed, as was my cousin's apartment. So many memories lost, they had so little, and now they have nothing. And my family's just one of thousands just as bad off, if not worse. At least they have their lives.

Anyway, I'm the lucky one, having gotten out of Southern poverty years ago, and now it's all on my shoulders to help them rebuild. It will be a tough job, but I'm tough, and my people are tough. We know now, as always before, we can't count on the government to come to our rescue, or show care, so it's all just friends and family taking care of this business of rebuilding. And we're all friends and family now.

I thank you so much for the love and support, and I swear, when we rebuild my mom's Eden she's going to invite everybody down for a Cajun crawfish boil! It won't be fancy, but it will be fun, and good times will roll again.

-Clayton Cubitt, 9/7/2005

Saturday, September 24, 2005


I found this great site that shows you what songs were on the OC. I think i've actually been to that site before, but I had to revisit it when trying to figure out who covered the Neutral Milk Hotel's "In An Aeroplane Over the Sea." It was Matt Pond PA (whom also covered "Wonderwall" i think).

I went to my file sharing service and found a live cover of the song by Dax Riggs.
Give it a listen:

Dax Riggs - In The Aeroplane Over the Sea

This website has camera phone shots of My Chemical Romance and their fans in makeup. They're so cute!

That link came from Lindsay, whom got it from CityRag.

Friday, September 23, 2005


The other night my friends and I went to Kate's Joint to celebrate the release of my book and to surprise Brian with a belated birthday cake that the multi-talented Leigh made (vegan style!). I was so stoked cause Josh brought a copy of Paper Magazine and while I was browsing the party listings I totally accidently spotted a mention of the Stolen Transmission party: "The truth is that if it werent for this party, we'd declare the whole Ludlow-Orchard Street annex a no-fly zone from thursday through Saturday. It's that good" WOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!! I nearly spat my beer across the table at Brandon and Geordan and threw the issue at Karen, whom herself hadn't known that the blurb would be written. We couldn't believe it! Thank you Paper Magazine!!!

Topics of the night varied from our parties ("why dont you throw a party to celebrate it" is the new "why don't you blog about it" which was the new "why don't you write a song about it"), the new site that's better than myspace, and Brian bet Elhaam that one of his scummy friend could pick her up using a technique that's they're learning in some weird pick up artist seminar.

Wednesday I went to the shiva.

Thursday morning I went back to the Shiva, came home, worked on singles with my interns, watched the Rape episode of Degrassi: the Next Generation, and went to DJ the Hurricane Benefit with Karen. I love her.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


I forgot to tell you guys that I would be on Today In New York today. I also forgot to Tivo it. I also forgot to watch it. I also forgot I was even on when my mom called me this morning at an ungodly hour to say how excited she was to see me on tv. She still gets stoked on that stuff. So did my entire family whom all told me about it when I showed up for the Shiva today. It's so nice to know that they're so excited about stuff like this... To be honest, i didn't even know my dad remembered that I made a book.

You can watch me here (I can't get it to work): La Ti Da!

Apartment are playing tomorrow (friday), at The Delancey at 8:30. Go to the show to pick up copies of their new EP that I put out with Fierce Panda for only $4. Wowzers.

Date My Mom.
Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Date My Mom is ridiculous! Mothers pimp out their babygirls to boys who just wanna bang? This shit is stupid in the best way possible.

Degrassi: The Next Generation goes there. It GOES there and then some. There are no happy endings on Degrassi. There are no restrictions. This is the best shit ever!

Date My Mom.
Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Date My Mom is ridiculous! Mothers pimp out their babygirls to boys who just wanna bang? This shit is stupid in the best way possible.

Degrassi: The Next Generation goes there. It GOES there and then some. There are no happy endings on Degrassi. There are no restrictions. This is the best shit ever!

Monday, September 19, 2005


I would like to start off this post by saying thanks to all my friends who have called, emailed, IMed, etc to check up on me. For those who don't read my brother's blog, my uncle David "DeDe" Lewitinn passed away on Saturday morning. He was my father's little brother, and my dad did everything imaginable to help him survive -- including getting him not one, but TWO heart transplants and a triple bypass surgery. His loss was not a shock, but something like that is never easy to deal with. Particularly when I went to the shiva last night and entered the room to hear my dad say "I want my brother back" while doubled over in tears. Anyone whom knows my father knows that he's not one to show any emotion except that of stone coldness. I know thousands of people died in Katrina, but this is closer to home and has effected me personally. So for those who have reached out to give their condolences, thanks.


A month ago, Fierce Panda in the UK called to see if I wanted to collaborate with them on a single by the band Apartment. Now, apart from being a huge fan of Apartment (They played the Tarts of Pleasure non-CMJ show last year with the Bravery), I am a HUGE fan of Fierce Panda. In fact, Fierce Panda was the inspiration behind my singles label: Stolen Transmission. FP introduced me to some really amazing bands, and pretty much any time i heard that a band had previously released a single on FP, I knew that they were a group I should take notice of... many of them became my favorites. Such as: Placebo, Idlewild, Coldplay, the Polyphonic Spree, and Supergrass.

So it's with great pleasure that I announce the first ever Stolen Transmission collaboration:


You can buy the collaboration single this week exclusively at their shows. Next week you can purchase it on this website (because all the other orders for the Spinto Band and Nightmare of You will have been shipped by then... thank god.)

Tonight Apartment plays at the Mercury Lounge in NYC at 9:30.
Tomorrow they play in Philly at the Khyber with Towers of London.

The tracks on the release are: "Patience is Proving," "Beyond My Control (live)," and "People."

Watch the video for "Patience is Proving"

Back to Hurricane Katrina: The Tarts of Pleasure and Josh Madden will be DJing a benefit this thursday to help victims of the horrible natural disaster. Please come by and help support:

Location: Buddha Lounge 29 E. 3rd street (Between 2nd and Bowery)
suggested donation is $5

Friday, September 16, 2005


The Arcade Fire with David Bowie - "Wake Up"
[From Banana Nutrament

I really shouldn't put off blogging for a week. Remembering where i left off is always a task. I think i left off just before the MTVu people came by to film me for a show they're doing about songs that soundtrack your life. I got to have my NOY Boy Toys in there with me, which was fun cause otherwise they'd actually have to leave my house... and perish the thought!

Later, last friday, I met up with BrandonR at the fashion week tents. My delightful friend Faran told me that Alexz Johnson from 'Instant Star' was going to be at a certain fashion show so of course, BrandonR and I HAD to go... just to see her in person. We're such fucking nerds. Sadly, she didn't show up. But BrandonR looked cute and dressed like a Libertine.

Afterwards we went to see the cursed performance of Men, Women, and Children at Tonic. The power kept on escaping them during the set, but that didn't seem to bother the crowd too much -- when the power went out on the instruments and mic for the end of their last song "Dance in My Blood," the entire audience sang the remainder of the song at the top of their lungs. For a situation that could've caused the band to give up, everyone was in fantastic spirits and making the best of it. Plus, MW&C are like a traveling party, so that's pretty easy.

They were so fun that I went to Long Island with BR for their show at the Downtown. I got to meet a bunch of Long Island superstars. Long Island is very much like NJ. The highways look the same. The suburbs look the same. The kids look the same. I guess it's understandable that the scenes are so closely knit.

Sunday I had dinner with Jordana the Intern and her family, whom I love. We went to her Dad's restuarant uptown and he managed to get me drunk with one single martini. I came home to find BR and Ryan watching the Family Guy on my couch, and I jumped into bed and covered my head with my newly fixed blanket. I don't remember if i went out that night or not. Oh wait... I went to 'Stache at 6's and 8's. That was fun.

Monday I took my brother Lawrence to see the sold out a-Ha show at Irving Plaza. They sounded better than I expected and looked just as good. Their set was two hours long (contrary to popular belief, they remained a popular band overseas, releasing several albums with great songs and ground breaking videos), which included "Take On Me" and "The Sun Always Shines on TV." The best part of the evening was when the entire audience sang the ending of "Hunting High and Low"... it was just really sweet and endearing. I was, however, surprised to see the singer use a teleprompter for the lyrics... but if Michael Stipe can pull it off, then so can this dude. No sightings of Chris Griffin from Family Guy.

Tuesday was a super busy day. I went to the Syndicate party at the Downtime to see NOY and Idlewild perform. 'Wild's set was completely packed with songs from their earlier, punkier days, to fit in with the emo heavy crowd. They opened with the Ramones' "I Wanna Be Sedated," quickly winning the hearts of everyone in the room, and despite the intolerable heat in the venue, everyone that was there and sweating from every pore in their body, danced and sang along. This show was like seeing the band when they came out with 100 Broken Windows. I'm going to have to comfort Karen... she started missing the boys the moment the turned around. i don't blame her -- they treat her like a member of the band, practically.

Wednesday I went to the NOY album release show/party in Long Island. I think i'm LI'ed out. No more. Not for a bit... or maybe that's a lie. The boys in Long Island are fucking young, adorable, italian, and did i mention, young?

I'm sorry... I'm getting bored of writing this... so if it seems like i'm giving up... it's cause I pretty much am.

Last night, thursday, i went with Jen C, Scott, Lawrence, and L's friend Kristen, to see the Arcade Fire. Midway through the set I started choking on a piece of gum while talking to Scott. Despite leaning over and grabbing my neck in a "I am choking" method, I don't think Scott realized that I was, infact, choking. Eventually I hacked my gum out, and started to breathe again. You know what was running through my mind as all this was happening? Not "I love my family and friend." Not "I've never known true love." Not "This cant happen to me..." No. What was running through my head was "Wow, how awesome! I always wanted to die while listening to great music! This is perfectly timed!"

Thursday, September 15, 2005


Hi! I have been on an accidental hiatus from ... just about everything. Well, no, that's not true -- just everything internet.
I'm going to write a proper posting later about stuff (like going to long island TWICE in one week and seeing a-ha, scottish bands, and my attempt at stalking Instant Star's Alexz Johnson). Until then, please come to the Orchard bar this FRIDAY NIGHT until 4am!!!

There are some special happenings going on!






Thursday, September 8, 2005


Last night's Idlewild show at Irving Plaza was amazing. I arrived a bit late, and found my buddy Mikey and his girlfriend immediately when I walked in. Mikey was on cloud nine since he's been waiting nearly a month for this show. After dropping off my bags backstage I found Karen, Niki, and Lizzy and we all started dancing non stop. Jumping up and down and screaming every line along with "WE LOVE YOU!!!" The band looked grateful or embarrassed. I'm not sure which.

Afterwards I ran over to Hiro to shoot a segment for MTVu. As I was setting up Jay from Project Runway started approaching followed by Karen. He asked what the cameras were for, we told him, and he quickly became buddies. He's really nice.

Karen and I DJed our standard Tarts fare and drank Lechee martini's by the bus load (they were free... can you blame us?) Our NOY Boy Toys, Ryan and Brandon, came to show their support and offer some body guard service. If those boys had a body guard service it'd be called Charming and Delightful.

After the party Brandon and Ryan came over to crash on the couch and various other places to crash at my pad. We woke up this morning under a layer of feathers. My down comforter exploded somehow and we were all embedded with feathers. When I got out of the shower i found Ryan dutifully sewing up the hole in the comforter so we wouldn't look like we raped pigeons.

Wednesday, September 7, 2005


We Are Scientists - "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt"

I'm really tired today. I want to snooze. I always want to snooze. Chances are, you will hate this post. You will call me names. You will write mean things about me in my comments section. Chances are, I will care less.

Yesterday, Jordana the Intern came over to help out with the Nightmare of You singles. I'm really happy because she told me that she loves NOY and has been telling all her friends about them. Jordana has pretty impeccable taste in music (and a slight love for the Strokes), so her approval of the band means that my buddies are gonna have a good year.

The NOY Boy Toys came over to visit after Jordana left. It had been less than 3 days since we saw each other and already we missed each other. We hugged and updated each other about the past couple of days. Niki came over to hang out and meet the boys for the first time. She used to be my roommate but moved to London for a bit. She decided that NYC was her true home and moved back and she and Brian got a place together. It's great to have her back.

Niki and I then went to the stellastarr* album release party. It's been a while since i've been to one of those things, so i wasn't sure what to expect, but when I entered the room and found my brother Lawrence standing with my other old roommate Lizzy and featuring a giant red lipstick mark on his cheek, I should've known that good times were ahead. I immediately ordered Lizzy to give me a matching lipstick mark so Lawrence and I could look like brother and sister (... oh wait...).

A lot of old friends were there like Laura, Audrey, Peter, Nora, and smells good Gina (the OG ss* fans!). Even Jenny LSQ and Robby Sheff were in attendance! I was stoked. It's been so long since I've seen those friends and I missed them all. I was delighted to see Thursday (the band) representing and got to catch up with them. I also made sure to cockblock Antony. Ryan Heil came to hang out and we stayed for a drink before heading over to Black & White to meet up with the posse that had migrated there.

We all sat around and some of us girls discussed the single greatest purchase some of us ever made. My friend Lizzy introduced me to my new girl crush named Catherine. Apart from being totally gorgeous, Catherine is very funny. I was 8 sheets to the wind when I was introduced to Catherine and immediately started saying "oh catherin, you are my little gentleman, i want to take you to foggy london town," to which she responded "oh baxter, you are my little gentleman!" The same humor! Amazing.

Everyone went up stairs to the Wiz Kid offices and I stayed behind with Ryan so we could finish our drinks (which i tried to smuggle out, unsuccessfully). We gulped them up, headed up stairs and I saw Jenny from Rilo Kiley standing at the door waiting for her friend. We talked for a while and she looked absolutely amazing. Totally gorgeous. She is in town opening for coldplay and said the tour has been amazing. Then her friend showed up. It was a bearded Conor Oberst. I didn't recognize him and felt like a dolt being like "what's your name?" We then all went upstairs where Catherine was showing Lizzy, Niki, and Rob her Carmen Electra stripper exercize dance moves. "you just missed chris and gwen" said one of my friends. Bummer. But alas, Drew, Fab, Albert, and johnny coldplay were lounging around and most definitely wondering what the fuck i was doing there (i, being a stranger). I hung out with my girls for a bit, Ryan ashed in albert's hands, and I decided that Ryan and i were officially drunk and officially needed to go home, so we hopped in a taxi with Niki and went home to bed.

that's all great and stuff, but today the greatest thing happened...
i was walking on 50th street at 7th Ave and encountered a giant moth that was about 4 inches across and the body was about 2 inches long. i brought it to saftey. it was so fucking awesome.

Tuesday, September 6, 2005


And flowers in the attic... but everyone knows that Brandon Flowers from the Killers has emerald green eyes.

Also, Idlewild's album Warnings/Promises is out today and really worth getting. Their first and second albums (not including Captain, which even they dont count) are my favorites and this is absolutely up there with them. They're playing tomorrow night at Irving Plaza and then Karen and I are DJing the afterparty at Hiro (which is in the maritime hotel). Please come. It will be fun. The cute lil Scottish boys promised that they'd cut up the rug or something like that. You've been warned.

And now, just because people seem to dig it way more than I ever expected when I DJ this, I thought I'd put the Harvey Danger song "Flagpole Sitta" up for download so you can DJ it also or stick it on a mix tape and be all nostalgic for 1998. To be perfectly honest, HD were pretty underrated in my opinion. Their albums were filled with clever songs that would make any Smiths fan stoked.

Harvey Danger - "Flagpole Sitta"

Monday, September 5, 2005


I started off replying to a post someone posted in my comments section and then decided i should really just post a new thing cause it's been over a week. Touring was a delight, by the way. I got to live in a bubble for a while. But being sentimental is useless.

anyway, the comment that i was replying to:
"i totally agree w/sluggy. h duff is working all hipster/rocker angles to avoid becoming irrelevant. and "punk rock" is shopping mall cool in 2005. the cheese-ball good charlotte guys produced most of her recent album, for example. and even ultra hispters are buying into it - look at how she's hung out at misshapes and even dj-ed there. do you let hillary duff dj at your party because she's going to drop the fucking jams and freak everybody out, or because you want the press, the repuation for knowing celebs?
the truth is that she's a very pretty corny child star who makes very corny pop music and who can buy herself into some credibility - the nyc kids here seem pretty willing to help her along."

My response... which turned into a rant:
it also turns out that she happens to be a super nice girl as well.

in my family it's not uncommon for 17 year old girls to have 28 year old boyfriends who then become their fiances and then their husbands. i dont see what the bid deal is. In other countries there would be no age issue. America has an interesting way of holding down kids from being adults asap (drinking laws, sex laws, voting laws, etc).

when you're treated as an adult from a young age you act like an adult.

also, as far as djing goes... it's not like i'm the most talented dj either. there's no understandable reason why people come to see me dj. but they do. and i appreciate that. so there's really no difference betweeen me and duff, really. we have the same taste in music. when she djed, she played basically what i would've played.

fuck all this bullshit anyway. tens of thousands of people fucking died in Louisiana and more are living through hell. a fucking horror movie brought to life. they're seeing things i could never even begin to imagine. who the fuck cares who has cred. who sold records. who is hanging out with whom. whom is dating whom. fuck all that fucking bullshit. fuck this. fuck that. fuck the word fuck. i hate myself more than ever for not having any money to send to the cause. i'm scouring my room looking for shit to sell. blankets to give. clothes to donate. anything. i'm worthless. i'm useless. i've done nothing but cried in horror when imagining what's going on. i have friends who are missing loved ones. i have loved ones who are missing friends. and here i am in my fucking room, watching vh1, finding a refuge from cnn on the internet. FUCKING REFUGE? for me? what? from the beautiful day outside? from the friends calling to hang out? fuck me. i suck.

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