Tuesday, August 10, 2004


On a normal given evening, let's say about a year ago, I would've been hanging out on the streets of NYC until 4am everynight, coming to work hungover and useless (despite my efforts at sobriety) the next morning. Those days aged me faster than I would've ever anticipated.

These days I'm constantly checking my watch. Is it midnight yet? Can I go home and not feel totally useless and lifeless? There are nights when I've got about 3 things to do and end up blowing them all off in exchange for a quiet night in front of the TV ordering sushi and shutting my brain off.

I think one of the problems is my fondness for saturday night blow outs. I stagger home when the sun is out and sleep until the sun goes down on sunday these days. That is, of course, unless my mom or dad decide to make a surprise visit to my house to either build a wall or drop off my blind dog so i can baby sit her.

Saturday was Brian's birthday party at MisShapes. I spent the day with my mom running errands (which included going to Saks to return the $700+ of bikinis she bought me on a whim in hopes to finally get my ass out of the city and on to a beach for some R&R, and going to Whole Foods to pick up Brian's cake). I made it back home with just enough time to nap for a half hour, eat a bit, watch some TV, and shower so I could get to Brian's house, down a Sparks, throw him in a cab, and dance.

A posse arrived at MisShapes at around 11:30. It was crowded, but not too bad. I met up with my friend Kris who was visiting from the OC (the county, not the TV show). Kris handed me a handful of magic asprins that I took immediately... which immediately meant that I was hyper off the Sparks, drunk off the alcohol, and in love with the world thanks to the magic asprins. I remember dancing at probably 3 am with Greg The Boyfriend and Raphael and some mystery girl as James Iha was DJing. Pretty James Iha with his lovely flowing blond hair. I pinched his ass when I saw him and I think he thought it was some psycho girl he didn't know. I think he was relieved to see that I was actually some psycho girl he knows. I remember him playing the New Radicals song "Get What You Give" that i've been itching to DJ for about 4 years, and have just been too fucking chicken to rock. He pulled it off with grace and the boy can beat match, which is a lot more than i can do on a given day. But I guess when it comes to being a rockDJ, it's just a matter of playing fun songs and not playing Franz Ferdinand twice in an hour no matter how badly you want to.

So anyway, I'm trying to remember the events that happened on Saturday. I can't. I can, but sort of in a way one remembers a really fun dream. One where they're in the middle of a breathing dancefloor with fantastic lights and amazingly loud music holding the hands, hips, hearts of people close to you. I do, however, remember Greg telling me that he's getting married. I remember dragging him outside and possibly rudely pushing people aside so I could get him outside since he had some 'splainin to do. He 'splained. I stood in near silence. And then got distracted when a cute boy from my office walked by and focused my attention on telling this boy from my office how cute I thought he was. How pretty i thought he was was actually what I said.

In reflection, I picture this little "attention span bug" hopping on the heads of people, almost like a game of Sims. The attention span bug was invisibly hopping on Greg's head, and then it hopped to the head of the boy from my office, and then it hopped onto the heads of the Five O'Clock Heros, whom I (dis)gracefully introduced myself to by complaining about their website for not working. This band, by the way, gets my vote for cutest NYC band this week. Thankfully, they're actually really good as well.

My attention span bug then started hopping across the street so I could cheat the long line of Luke and Leroys in favor of a shorter line at some Tavern. I impatiently walked into the boy's bathroom, noticed it full as well, and hopped back onto the women's line. My invisible attention span bug is gonna get me in trouble one day.

We stayed at MisShapes until 5:30. This was after Pete the Doorguy stamped some French ambassador on the face with a reentry stamp. This was after we ate chocolate cake and wished Brian a happy birthday. This was after i made out with Grant. This was after Brian got a photo of my ass crack. This was after Kris pretty much passed out on the couch and talked to me in an amazing slurred speech. This was after flirting with some other boy named Chris. This was after my brother left. This was after a lot of things I'm surely forgetting.

But one thing I'm not forgetting is how much fun it was to be there in the first place. I wish my body was equipped for 4am bedtimes and bar hopping like it used to be.


Chris Clark said...

your getting paid to promote sparks now too!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Now that was an ultragrrrl.com post! Finally a story about bands, boys, booze, and questionable behavior. it's been a while since we've gotten one of those.
no more two sentence posts!
~sarah in FL

Sarah said...

yes. but this post also caused my brother to call me and attempt an intervention.

Greg the Boyfriend said...

Raph just said, "seriously, you are just going to go home, put on pajamas, eat ice cream and hate yourself." Not to you. Or maybe. I don't know who he is talking to. It was funny though.

Anyway. i am drunk. the point is. Is that your high school cohort totally made out with the girl I was dancing with. Girl on girl is hot and all, but I got a bit jealous.

And, you better get yer ass to my wedding. But we all know there will be no wedding.

And. You better get yer ass to my apartment on Friday.

Oh shit. I just started those two sentences exactly the same. I didn't mean to.

Hurray for hollywood. I mean beer.

Anonymous said...

does magic asprin pills= ecstasy?

where can i get me some?

rock on.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like X to me or a little AMT??

Thanks for giving me flashbacks to many nights that I had a long time ago...


Anonymous said...

James Iha playing the New Radicals song was fucking amazing! Best song of the night, no doubt. You should spin it. And you looked so hot in your "interpol" outfit as i like to call it.

boss said...

any photos?

Anonymous said...

hey...look, you're not old, don't pretend that you are. this retired, seasoned-pro drinker talk smacks of some bullshit self-pity, heavily sprinkled with self-absorbed neurosis. i loved this post, alot, cause' parts were really funny. still, though, it's painful to read this crap about, "i used to party so hard, but now that i'm all of 24 i just have to slow down." oh ultragirrrl, you're so hard done by, i can tell. i mean with your brother so concerned and all, and your parents, well, just showing up, and sooo hungover.... ahh, i'm too harsh...and basically just an asshole hater. finally, if you think some guy is hot, you should never call him pretty, at least not to his face. it sounds like you think he's small in the lap, or like you have a girl-crush on him or whatever. unless he shaves is legs or ownes one of those steamers to remove blackheads he might feel a little wierd. ya, i liked this post. way to go kiddo. big gold star, ya. scat turdly

Nailz said...

You need to get back into the partying-all-night thang to be able to start dealing with the whole hangovers-with-little-sleep. There is no other way. Party hard!

Anonymous said...

great post, as long as you have having a blast.~kav

Greg the Boyfriend said...

I am feeling too old to party too.

I am wrecked this morning. But, the comment above is right. Just do it for a week and you get back into the swing of it.

Its amazing how easily your body adapts to showing up at work on 3 hours of sleep with a pint of liquor still in your blood.

And people. the pills weren't ecstasy. That is so 1999. Sarah prefers the timeless classics. I mean. She doesn't take pills at all.

I swear.

Sarah said...

it was vike. mix vike and alcohol and you're in for a really wonderful ride.

the management said...

You're 24 and worried about slowing down??? Don't. I'm still a magic aspirin-popping Misshapes whore with lots of energy and no memory... and I'm turning 30 soon. You have your whole life ahead of you, young lady.

mymathematicalmind said...

to mr anonymous above: its true -- thanks to a regular schedule of late nights and booze [all of which happens primarily between the ages of 19 and 23], there does come a time when a person's body cant handle it. when i turned 24, and i swear it felt like it hit the very day i turned that age, staying up past midnight unless it was a weekend just wasnt jiving with my body.

Eva Chavela said...

yo, thanks for lettin' me use yer commode about 7 in the morning. man that was the worst. i've never had to pee so bad in my WHOLE LIFE. and there's not alot of bushes on the lower east side for me to hide behind, ya know? -eva

Anonymous said...

dear god did I really pass out on the couch? what a lush. I have a huge bump/scrape on my forehead and still don't know how that happened...yeah, those were 750mgs, sorry, I should have warned you...thanks for getting me in the cab, you're the best.


Anonymous said...

yes, granted i was breathing down your neck for feeling old at 24 and getting tired at parties, however, vikes and alchohol totally kicks my ass. it's a nice ride, but how do you stay awake? i can't at all. if you can stay awake on that, well, that's damn hard. also, something ocurred to me today: i always feel a bit old because time just passes so fast. i don't think i will ever feel perfectly young. how depressing. scat

Raised By Bees said...

I've got a decade on you so I've been a drunk for much longer (even though I waited until my late 20s to become a serious drinker). Seriously, I find that the party-time and alone-time come in cycles and you just do what feels right at the time, for either physical or mental reasons. If you need to take a night and sit on the couch and eat sushi and are happy doing this, then do it, don't feel guilty. Also, ask yourself why you're drinking. If it's just a social thing to have fun, fine, but are you doing it just to function in public, block out problems, work out stress (which is okay in moderation, just in my experience, not good as a habit). Is your booze negatively effecting relations with friends, family, work? Then again, you are 24, this is the time to fuck off and have fun. As long as you really are having fun, which it sounds like you are. Watch the vikes and the booze combo though, while certainly delicious, I'm sure no one wants to read your obit any time soon. I can't mix booze and pills or I'd pass out under a table, happy to be under the table of course. And if you need to pass out under a table, make sure you're with people you trust. That reminds me: you should read Donna Gaines' "Misfit Manifesto." I think you'd like it.

The Other Drunk Sara

Anonymous said...

THE Killers Rock my socks!!!!!

Just a guy from RI