Tuesday, April 20, 2004


I just found out that the Killers will be opening up for Morrissey in LA this Thursday and next Tuesday. All I can think is that Killer Brandon must be having a non-stop boner party of one. I have a rumor from a very good source that Morrissey heard "Somebody Told Me" on KROQ and called his manager and said he wanted whoever wrote that song to open for him. You can listen to the song that made the Mozzer quiver here. Yeah, so don't get any crazy ideas that Moz reads blogs or anything. OK? Do you hear me you stupid little cunt with short legs and a fat ass? Nobody reads your blog. Especially not Morrissey. Only the members of Pitty Sing read you blog so they can track down your every move and figure a way to slay you in the streets.

Sorry. I went off for a moment.

Aren't the members of the Killers cute? I will marry one of them. Mark my words. Pun intended.

Last night I went to seen Snow Patrol with Nate-not-the-roommate, Karen, and some big wigs from SPIN who supplied me with more beer then I could handle. I didn't actually attend the show with Karen as she refused to be seen in public with me, worried that people would find out about our torrid affair. So we sent text messages the whole time talking about how much we'd like to engage in a gang bang with the members of Snow Patrol. As the publisher of SPIN told me last night when my drunken ramblings were on full speed: TMI.

I've decided that I want a penis. I want one of my very own that I could use to procreate the world with. I dont mean that I want one that is attached to a boy, but one that is attached to me. A part of me. I want to be a boy. I'm sick of this girl thing. It's annoying and retarded and useless and my thighs grow whenever I eat carbs and I'm sick of that. I'm going to be a boy one day, mark my words.

I've been listening to Rival Schools' "Undercovers On" on repeat all day to celebrate my fantasy of being a double agent.

Jordan has a blog that's pretty funny. He's also: hot, jewish, 20 years old, and has great hair. He lives in Detroit and is single. Ladies of D-town, jump his bones.

Raphael is on the TRL Front page. He's the FAN OF THE WEEK!!! Ladies of NYC (and Miami for this weekend), Raphael is single, willing, and able. He's also the best dancer in the Lower East Side.

Speaking of MTV, please vote for stellastarr*'s video for "My Coco" by going here. I'm in the video! And so is the band.

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