TEMPTATION

Do you realize how awesome the soundtrack of Trainspotting is? It's awesome, and I'm not really saying anything new, but I was just reminded of it's awesomeness this morning when I was watching that "Alternative" show on VH1 that I DiVoed. They played Heaven 17's "Temptation" and James' "Laid" (which is my absolute favorite song to DJ). Who knew that the singer of James was so cute!?

I've been exhausted. For the past 3-4 weeks I've had someone staying in my room... for the last week, it's been 5 someone's as I couch surfed between my roommate niki's bed and Karen's futon and other forgiving friends who don't mind the fact that I like to stay up late sometimes. It's been awesome having all these people around, but totally tiring. After a while you forget why you pay tons of money to have a room all to yourself. It's so you can wake up in the morning, turn the tv on loud and prance around your room naked without scaring the beejesus out of anyone.

Wednesday night the Tarts are throwing another party since we're doing a weekly party... you know, so wednesday returns, and so does the party. It works nice that way. There is no list, no cover. So bring your pals. There's also A TWO HOUR OPEN BAR, so bring singles for tips.

This week we're having James Iha DJing. He was in the Smashing Pumpkins and now he's in A Perfect Circle and sometimes I tease him about being in a goth band since he likes to wear pink a lot. He's also Japanese and I like all things Jappy, including my upbringing.

Also joining him is DJ Special Zed, who is awesome and looks like that cute kid from Party of Five (you know, the one that dated jennifer love hewitt) and makes sure i get home safely on shabbat, and DJ Vicar -- the official #1 Tarts of Pleasure Groupie. He keeps us drunk, gives us clothes and carries our gear.

Here's the flyer:


I'm trying my best to remember the past two weeks. It's been as hard as the geometry class i failed twice in high school (well, once, but the second time around the summer school teacher didn't want to risk having me as a student again since I spent the entire time reading SPIN and talking to the black girls since there were no black girls in my school normally, but summer school got kids from all over the county... it was awesome).

Let's try from the beginning...

Oct 4:
Good Charlotte at Webster Hall. Ok, let's make something clear: I like music that most would consider shit. People think they're really making tons of fun of me when they're like "You like Good Charlotte!" when I'm like "Yeah, so? Did you happen to see me on that MTV show declaring my love for Linkin Park?" I have no shame in the bands I like that aren't considered cool, and yeah, GC is one of those bands. In all fairness, I didn't like them before. But a few months ago my office got to go to the GC management office and listen to demos of the album. I went in with open ears cause in fairness, the band wrote some pretty huge hit singles and I wanted to see if it was possible for them to do it again. I was pretty much shocked and wondered if they sold their souls to the devil. The album, to me, sounded like mall punk goodness closer to the Used than anything else. So a couple months later when I was told that I'd have to interview them for something, i popped the cd in my player and have listened to it more than i ever expected. Mind you, apart from the singles, I've never heard a GC album. What's cool is that I got to listen with more of an open mind, and so when I meet others that liked GC and find out that they dont anymore cause they think the new album is shit, i feel like i've been semi-validated in a way i cant figure out. Anyway, Karen and I got super drunk and inebriated at their show (since they dont drink, we figured we'd drink for them). At one point Joel name dropped an AOL chat room. I turned to karen and said "holy shit, did he just name drop an AOL chat room?" she laughed and said yes. I replied "That was ... keyword: awesome." We spent the rest of the show laughing at the random name dropping and looking into the audience of the old men who were scoping out little girls to molest. You can watch the show here.

After the show we, the Tarts, headed to Irving so we could dance around to the Killers. I love those boys. When we're together it's like long lost siblings reuniting, especially for me and Brandon. We stare at each other and I think in our heads we're thinking either: "damn, i make a good looking boy." or "damn, am i glad that i'm a boy instead of a funny looking girl." The Tarts threw an after party for the boys and all the fun indie bands came out and got wasted and Brandon and I introduced ourselves as brother and sister as Barry from Scotland made moves on Brandon... I think he was maybe mistaken. The highlight of the night was DJing C&C Music Factory. No, wait, it was when a couple of DJs gave us money and drugs in exchange for the chance to DJ. Neither Karen nor myself wanted to DJ anymore anyway, so we gladly took the drugs and money and tipped our nice bartender generously... by accident.

Oct 5: Tuesday provided for another Tarts Do Mall Music Adventure. We went to see the Good Charlotte instore at Tower so i could interview the band afterwards. They were super nice and dressed like they were in Interpol.

Speaking of Interpol, once that was done, Karen and I met up with Vicar and went back to Irving to see Gay Interpol. There was a rumor that David Bowie would be there so Brandon was giddy as fuck. As he was fashioning himself in the mirror i turned to him and said "Aw! I feel like a proud mom! You're like my son." And he pleaded "You mean i dont look like a rockstar?"

The second show was so much better than the first... infact, it was better than any other show i've seen them do. For one thing, they brought out the big guns for Bowie (who showed up... causing brandon to sing pretty much exclusively to the balcony... his excitement is endearing), that included sampling, new sounds, and a breakdown into a Pink Floyd number at end of one of their songs.

After the show we went to SNITCH for what appeared to be Los Angeles Rock Night. Total cheesy crowd. Huey from the Fun Loving Criminals didnt want me to DJ (even though it had been arranged that I would). I didn't want to piss off Huey cause he's huge. Eventually the Killers asked that I be put on the decks, and I dropped some Neil Diamond. The dude from Fuel who is part owner of the club walked by the booth and Vicar said that he gave me a look that would kill. He was pissed. I was having a good time. Buh buh buh buh. Good times never felt so good.

Oct 6:

About a month and a half ago I went to see Franz Ferdinand at Roseland. I love Franz a lot. But the best part of the show was when a woman came up to me and told me that her daughter Jordana was a huge fan of my column and blog. I said "Wow! That's so awesome! How old is she?" She told me that her daughter was in high school and I freaked out... "You gotta stop her from reading my blog! It's bad for her!" but she laughed and said that she also reads it (Hi Amy!). Anyway, I met her son Jonathan (hey dude!) who was adorable and her daughter and was just totally in love with her immediately. She reminded me of a really good friend of mine from high school and just seemed so sweet. So I gave her my email and told her that she's gotta keep in touch. Anyway, I got invited by her 11 year old brother to join the family for his birthday dinner. I immediately accepted the invite and on Oct 6 I joined the family for dinner. More families should be like this one. They're so friendly and sweet and open with each other and they made me feel totally comfortable. And Jordana is so fucking cool... I wanted to steal her iPod since mine is broken and hers had everything mine had and more. It even had the Oohlas, Morningtheft and the Madison Strays. How is she so cool?

Oct 9:
My date book says I didn't do anything until Oct 9th, and so I'm sticking with that. Imran was in town and so we went to Kates for lunch and he went yarn shopping with me so I could knit a scarf for a friend, meanwhile he was getting text messages from his hometown of London from friends talking about drug outings that just occurred. Yarn Shopping Vs. Doing Coke in a bathroom... which is more rock and roll, you tell me.

We met up with Miss Modernage in the park who was telling us about running into Ryan Adams and how she wanted to deck him or steal his bag or something. And then I went home so I could tidy up a bit before Apartment and their manager showed up the following day. Later that night we went to see Morrissey and I ended up coming about 3023 times in an hour. The man played as many Smiths songs as Morrissey ones... and they were all my favorite ones!

Then we went to Misshapes since that's what you do on a saturday night. Here are photos from that.

Oct 10: (I'm almost done with this update! Yay!)
Interpol played a secret show and Apartment showed up on my doorstep. I was exhausted and hungover and needed to finish up some art work so GregtheBoyfriend came and got them and took them out. In return I sold Greg the extra Interpol ticket I had. I danced like a spaz as the band played the songs that made me cry and the songs that saved my life... Then the Tarts went to DJ the show's afterparty. We're available for weddings and Bar/Bat Miztvahs too, you know, not just afterparties. And we bring a Vicar with us!

Oct 11: Went to see Napoleon Dynamite for the third time with Niki, Imran, and Apartment. Knitted.

Oct 12: DJed a show that Vicious put on that was called "A Concert for Change." I dont know what they wanted to be changed... so i changed my underwear just in case that was the change they were looking for. I knitted some more, while DJing, and by the time all that was done, I'd missed The Five O'Clock Heroes and went up to the Syndicate party to see Murder By Death instead. They're awesome, but I'm short and so I could only hear how awesome they were and see how awesome the tips of their heads were. This guy that I talk to on AIM came up and introduced himself to me. The next day he commented on my harem. I'm actually disappointed by how small it's been lately, so i'm taking applicant for more boys. After the show I went to the Darkroom with the Vicar, since that's what the hipsters do. I got to send off Antony of the Heroes since he was packing up to go to Europe for a month in hopes of meeting a sugar momma that would give him lots of money that he could use to shower me in gifts and lavish vacations and give me the wedding I want, but don't necessarily deserve.

Oct 13: THE TARTS OF PLEASURE PRESENTED... STOLEN TRANSMISSION.
Whoa. What a fucking night. We'd been stressing about this for quite a while, making sure we had all the gear needed and the the visas and all that shit. We were sure the whole thing would be a total disaster, but it actually went without a problem (save for Apartment's guitar pedals totally exploding or something). This was Aparment's first ever gig in NYC and besides the fact that they sounded wonderful and had the passion in them to put on a great show, but David, the singer, is really good looking. I know this cause the whole night straight dudes kept on coming up to me saying "Wow. That guy from Apartment is like, ridiculously good looking." The Madison Strays played second and while it wasn't their strongest ever show, it was still quite good and I'm impressed with them. The Bravery played last and they sort of remind me of INXS a bit more than the Killers now. The bassist is super hot with amazingly complicated eye make up. At one point during the show he got off stage and started dancing with me. Then he fell into my arms. We're gonna get married as soon as I can remember his name. So many weddings... so little time. Anyway, here are photos from the night... hopefully this will work. The photos suck cause i'm bad at taking crowd shots. Anyone wanna do that for us?

Oct 14:
I went home to eat dinner before going to see the Music and Hopes of the State, however, my roommate Niki found me asleep on the floor of my room at 1:30am. I had passed out.

Oct 15:
Went home for shabbat dinner and then headed back into the city with my mom's sweet ride. I picked up Elhaam and her friend and took them driving around Brooklyn so they could run errands and then picked up the Vicar and went to the Darkroom to meet up with Imran and Apartment and Karen. Then we went to the Jane Magazine Addvice party. Waited in line for a LONG time and eventually got let in only to get thrown out about 2 hours later when the cops raided the place. But it was open bar, so who can complain? Here are more photos.

Oct 16:
(my brain is nearly broken now) I spent all of Saturday playing "Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)" by the Arcade Fire over and over again while driving. I drove from Karen's house to Englewood, NJ for my dentist appointment in about 20 minutes and listened to nothing but this song. And then I drove from the dentist to target and played it on repeat some more. This song is perfect fast driving music. The roads fly by and it's fun to yell out "Jesus Christ i'm getting pissed!"

I went to see Apartment at the Delancey and then the Vicar and I tried to see Tegan and Sara at the Bowery, but we missed them, so we went uptown to see Giant Drag at Plaid. Giant Drag is awesome and Annie, the singer, is not only hot but a total comedian as well. She's something totally different from anything else... and I can't stress enough: go see them if you can. Then we went to my friend Pauline's wedding so I could DJ it. I love DJing weddings. I shit you not. I love it. If my wedding DJ career ever takes off, I'm leaving my current job behind. Then we went to Misshapes and danced.

Oct 17:
I spent sunday night recovering as much as I can... which meant watching movies and kind of just staring into space and having acid flashbacks. Apartment totally cleaned my uh... apartment. They left it looking nicer than I left it for them. I love them and want them to come back as soon as possible. I then took Niki to see Giant Drag and she was in total awe cause they're awesome. We returned home and once again, i passed out prematurely, but this time on my couch. I think it was about 10pm when I did this.

OK, if you got this far, you should Watch This and read this.

GET THE ARCADE FIRE ALBUM

... RIGHT NOW.

Seriously. This album is making my pants so happy at the moment. I'm a happy person, but at the moment, I couldn't be any happier and I'm pretty sure that it's thanks to their album Funeral. I couldn't even begin to tell you what they sound like cause my music knowledge isn't that diverse. But I guess maybe a bit of Talking Heads, Murder by Death, Clinic, Death Cab for Cutie, thrown into a morbid carnival.

UPDATE FORTHCOMING...

Until then, please enjoy these photos that probably caused God to pat himself on the back and say to himself "Well done, God. Well done."

I've been really busy, but hopefully I'll get to write about the last two weeks as best as I can. I saw Killers twice. Good Charlotte twice (this is the anthem, throw all your hands up). Had dinner in morning side heights with an awesome family. Saw Moz. Saw Interpol. Inherited about 30 british boys. Saw another show. Threw another party. And woke up at 1:30 am on the floor of my bedroom last night. Fun times!

THE BOY WHO BLOCKED HIS OWN SHOT

I am still obsessed with the Brand New record that isn't quite brand new. I've been trying to get my friends to listen to them... and when I mention to my band friends how much I love the band they usually answer with "The record is amazing, but the band is not too nice." Not sure why. Not sure that I care to be honest.

The offices here are so hot and stuffy. I'm growing dizzier and more irritable by the minute. I wanted to write about my week, about my weekend. About seeing Morrissey on saturday and Interpol on sunday. About having Apartment staying in my apartment and finally lending that helping male hand that's been missing for so long.

But i'm about to pass out. Suffocate. I'll have to update later. Grrr. But before i do, I just want to wish a happy 21st birthday to Aaron Kaczander, my friend Jordan's best bud from back in detroit. Now he can drink and i can have the sex with him if i wanted to and not go to jail. I know the legal age is 18, but boys need to get drunk in order to get near me.

The Five O'Clock Heroes are playing tonight at 9:30 at Mercury Lounge.

I'm DJing a a benefit at Rothko tonight.

Tuesday October 12th, Melody Nelson presents...

CONCERTS FOR CHANGE

11:45 - The Vitamen [ http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/thevitamen/ ]
11:00 - Modernage [ http://www.modernagemusic.net ]
10:15 - The So and So's [ http://www.soandsos.com ]
9:30 - Ben Arthur [ http://www.benarthur.com ]
8:45 - Say Hi to Your Mom [ http://www.sayhitoyourmom.com ]
8:00 - MAGNET (from Norway!) [ http://www.homeofmagnet.com ]

Guest DJ: Ultragrrrl [ http://www.ultragrrrl.com ]

$8 Advance tickets: http://www.concertsforchange.com/kintera_show.php?id=47
$10 day of show :: 21+
Rothko :: 116 Suffolk St. between Rivington and Delancey.

AND BABY MAKES THREE!

HOLY MOLY. Jason and Debbie Roth welcomed their first born this morning at 1:23am! A beautiful baby boy named Jake William Roth, 7lbs 12oz.!

Debbie had been vying to name him Jake Ryan Roth... Looks like the Sixteen Candles dream got extinguished.

I wish the lovely new family well. And just so you know, I'm available to babysit any time. I promise to not curse (that much) in front of the baby, and to not drink or do drugs while handling him.

WHOOPS!

The show on wednesday night is at this new place called SNITCH (horrible name, i know). It's on 21st and 6th ave.

EFF CMJ... THIS IS A STOLEN TRANSMISSION

Karen and I are throwing a non-cmj cmj party ON OCTOBER 13 at a new place called SNITCH on 21st street and 6th ave (on the east side of 21st). The party is called: the tarts of pleasure present... A stolen transmission. We're having some amazing bands play and its open to everyone... This includes the 1 hour open bar at 10pm.

11pm - Apartment. Weareapartment.com they like interpol meets jeff buckley in his darker moments. You shouldn't miss them... They're from london and its their first show in NYC.

12am - the Madison Strays. You probably know them by now... Think Psychedellic Furs. Awesome.

1 am - THE BRAVERY. I'm quite sure this is the smallest venue you'll see them in for another 5 years... Unless they play a secret show that you will try to get into.

Before and after and in between sets there will be the song selections by the tarts of pleasure.

$5 to get in... Free with a cmj badge.

Be kind to our doorman Thomas O. He's awesome.

STOLEN TRANSMISSION SHABBAT SPECIAL

I'm so excited and proud to announce the first release on my singles label, stolen transmission, by the incomprable San Diego band, Louis XIV. You can purchae it by clicking the button on the right. It's so simple and easy. Yay for paypal (which seems to be up and down every 3 minutes... be patient)!

A couple of weeks ago I was visiting a friend and he was like "You have to hear this..." and popped on the song "God Killed The Queen." When I stopped dancing around the room and thinking about the rails of coke that people would one day be enjoying to this song, I knew that it'd be a perfect first single to release on my little glorified art project.

Imagine Mark E. Smith from the Fall writing a song for the Rolling Stones and you've got the track "God Killed the Queen." Plus, every time I've dropped this song while DJing (and I have, a few times), people dance to it like they've heard it a thousand times over. The other songs on this single are "Hey Teacher (demo)" and "Finding Out True Love is Blind."

The numbered singles are displayed in hand made packaging that I slaved away the few hours I have each week making them and getting high off the spraypaint fumes. They're wrapped in bloody bandaging and look really cool (if I may say so myself!) The plus side is that I've done them all while sober, so I've been drinking a lot less. Horay!

I hope that everyone who buys them enjoys them, and then sells them on ebay one day.

Also, my singles, which will be released about once a month, will be sold on fridays. A Shabbat Special, and the price includes the shipping. Fun times!

Love,
Sarah Lewitinn
stolentransmission.

PS - If you want to submit a band for consideration for a future release, email: stolentransmission@gmail.com

thanks!

REGISTER TO VOTE

reader: tomorrow is the last day for ny state residents to register to vote
reader: it needs to be post marked
reader: maybe you can post a link
Ultragrrrl: yeah. for sure.
reader: http://www.vote.nyc.ny.us/register.jsp
reader: it's really easy all they have to do is print it out and mail it

GREAT! DOES THIS MEAN I CAN RAISE HER RENT?

Just kidding, Lindsay! Congratulations for getting recognized by ze Village Voice... now can you please take out the trash, cause it's starting to pile up.

CUE OLD LADY IN GIANT SUNGLASSES BLOWING BUBBLES

You kind of have to see this to believe it.
Link from thighswide, naturally.

IT'S TIME FOR SOMETHING BIBLICAL

I just got this email from a reader...

Hey Sarah,

From one huge Muse fan to another...if you don't already know they are playing at Webster Hall on November 9th! Tickets are only $22 which is awesome! They are on sale at ticketweb.com. See you there!

Jaclyn =)

SECRET INTERPOL SHOWS

Hopefully I wont be too late to annouce this -- was in a meeting -- there is a secret Interpol show on sunday at Bowery Ballroom. Go Here to get tickets. The password is Cruise.

THIS IS A STOLEN TRANSMISSION

Every week i get a ton of emails from people in bands who are looking for advice. I'm young, but I've been kicking around this industry for a while working in various facets and meeting a lot of nice people that I enjoy working with. So whenever I get a chance to help out a band that I think has that something special, I try to. Whether it's posting a link to their songs on this blog, sending their demos to A&R friends and lawyers, or even just offering them a place to stay when they're in town.

Now a lot of these bands are in the early stages of their career. I can't write about them because they don't have material out and they don't have material out cause nobody's heard of them. It's sort of a double edged sword in ways, and I just couldn't figure out what to do.

So I thought it'd be fun to make a sort of glorified art project. I approached a couple of bands, asked them if i could borrow their songs, make special artwork for their songs, and sell the cds on my blog. Apart from the handmade inventory that I paid for out of my own pocket, I wont have any ownership of anything. Whatever I sell on the blog would be used to cover my expenses, and the profits will be split with the band. Really, I just wanted to do something fun for bands that I think are really great and think you, the reader, might love too. I wanted to make something that maybe would be nice to have in a couple of years down the road. Nothing more.

For each 3-song CD release there will be a 250 pressing... unless that sells out in 6 months, then i'll do another 250. That's hardly making anyone enough money to have a nice dinner at Sushi Samba, but that's really not the point. The point is that I wanted to do something fun. The cds will cost $4, including shipping, and all be made by hand. I'm releasing this on a label i made up called stolen transmission... since i love the concept of something being stolen, and i like the idea of a sound transmission, a wave transmission... a car transmission.

So basically, i guess it's a singles label. And my first release will be by a band called Louis XIV from San Diego. I think it'll go on sale this week (once i figure out the pay pal stuff) and their CD release party will be at SNITCH next wednesday, october 13 for a party that the Tarts of Pleasure are presenting.

If you've got a band to recommend, please do so! No signed bands. Thanks!

PASS THE SPARKS

You know how after parties go. You hate them. You loathe them. You attend them anyway. Well, the Tarts are throwing the Killers an afterparty at the Darkroom (located on Ludlow between Houston and Stanton. Did you read that correctly? HOUSTON BETWEEN LUDLOW AND STANTON... you know in case you've never been there, or heard of it before since it's only been open FOR A MONTH). Some of the Killers will be DJing. There wont be a guest list. There wont be a VIP room. There wont be anything but music, drinks, and a bunch of people outside smoking cigarettes and complaining about something or another. So please come and try to have a good time.

Friday night was one of the rare occasion Friday nights where I skipped out on Jewdy (Jewish Duty) to shabbat at the Slipper Room for Marc's birthday party. Since I'm poor -- very poor -- i like to offer my lack of proper DJ skills in exchange for birthday gifts whenever possible. The party was at the Slipper Room and a normal friday night there typically consists mainly of the following: Burlesque Dancers. I don't care for the burlesque business at all. I find the whole thing to be pretentious and an over intellectualizing of stripping done in a very uncomfortable smartypants way that makes me feel dirty and wrong. I'm secretly a prude, i guess, but maybe not since I don't mind strip clubs at all. I like to see my strippers unironic in all their father hate glory, tanned skin, and dancing around to shitty music. I was told that there wouldn't be naked ladies shaking their titties while I DJed (or even a burlesque show at all), but there were, and I'm sure they disliked me as much as I disliked them. In fact, they complained about it as Marc's friends danced around to the hip hop the Tarts' #1 DJ assistant, Vicar, provided. About 4 years ago when I went to the Slipper Room for the first time i noticed how much it resembled a dream I had as a 4 year old of hell. The same decor. The same burlesque dancers. This resemblance intrigued me totally so i kept on going (mostly cause it was Marc's regular haunt and i like the people who own it and work there), and threw a party with Gideon there... but now I rarely go. I just can't handle naked ladies.

Saturday night I went to check see Supergrass at Webster Hall. God bless them in all their monkey faced glory. Last year I was knee deep in my Supergrass obsession and saw them 4 times until I was like "I've had enough!" But really, I hadn't. And apparently neither had Adam, who jumped up on stage and sang along like the damn dirty ape that he is.

After 'Grass I went over to the Tribeca Grand Hotel to see the Bloc Party show. Thursday night the Tarts and Vicar went to see them at the Knitting Factory and were blown away. I've been really into the band since hearing "She's Hearing Voices" a back in february/march and was thrilled to see that they were actually as good live as on record -- if not better. Kelle is an amazing singer/frontman and the chemistry of the band was electrifying. Ironically, not as gay as the chemistry as Franz Ferdinand, but totally similar and Vicar thinks that it'll be the last time we ever get to see them at a place so small... and I guess he was right since the Tribeca Grand show was a total mad house. Since I'm short I couldn't see anything but the backs of the people infront of me and occasionally Kelle's head, so after 10 minutes of trying to balance myself in the right spot, i gave up, ordered a champagne and sat on a couch with Karen and Brigid and listened as if I were a blind shih-tzu, or a really short, slightly chubby, jewish girl.

Afterwards I went over to Misshapes to meet up with Evan Erlebacher and Vicar (ps, check out photos from last week when Kill Hannah DJed and made me feel like i was walking on sunshine w/their cute faces and good tunes). It was the Prosiacs record release party and the tunes were totally industrial goth, it was like I was at the Batcave and a true testament to how great guest DJs can be. You know, you go, you meet up with friends, and hear something different. Maybe i was happy since I was drunk again after abstaining for a week.

Last night was the Franz show. You know I love that band more than i love myself, but I was so exhausted from the weekend that I didn't go. Plus, their show at Roseland left me a bit lukewarm, and I want nothing but the fondest of memories for that band. I can't believe that it was a year ago that I was checking them out at Pianos and thinking they sounded like APB. My how far they've come. Mazel tov to them since i totally believe that if something is good that it should be as big as possible. If it's possible for them to "sell out", i hope they do. I want to hear them in car commercials, movie trailers, and if there was a way to expose them more, i would do it. I wish the same for all the bands I love since that means that they're getting paid what they deserve. I'm sick of seeing bands that are great go broke cause they're scared of what pretentious fuckers will say.

Here is a cute photo paid for by the cute animals and babies association:

SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT

Just thought -- you know, since this is a killers fansite an all -- that I'd mention that my favorite band from vegas will be djing at the darkroom on monday after their irving show. There's no list and no cover. Just come and have fun.

FUCK, SHIT

Yo. My phone died. It's dead. gone forever. Please email me your number even if you think i've got it. thankyou.

slewitinn@spin.com
or sarahlewitinn@tmail.com (i got a sidekick II, and that's my email addy too)

FUCK, SHIT

Yo. My phone died. It's dead. gone forever. Please email me your number even if you think i've got it. thankyou.

slewitinn@spin.com

FUCK, SHIT

Yo. My phone died. It's dead. gone forever. Please email me your number even if you think i've got it. thankyou.

slewitinn@spin.com

A QUICK NOTE

Sarah,

I am desperately searching for cute photogenic ethnic girls for
an up and coming photoshoot mid- to late october. it pays 200
for a few hours of jumping around in fake rain. I am gonna style
it and its with an awesome photographer. His name is David
Black (www.davidblackphotography.com)....

Do you know of any girls that could send me a jpg of
themselves to me? A friendster picture would work fine.
I need something today, tomorrow at the latest!

HELP!
turner
turner@trooper-ca.com
917 881 8613

APARTMENT HUNTERS AND GATHERERS

This morning on the way to the subway i ran into my friend Mandy who was looking to find someone to take over her room across the street from me. The rent was super cheap and I thought about how my friend Jordache has been looking for a place, called him, and five minutes later Mandy found a person to take her place. Everyone was stoked.

So I thought, there's so many times when my friends are looking to fill an occupancey for a room. I post it up on here or go through my emails and find friends who are looking for a place... So i decided that this posting would be used to help people find a place to live in the city or wherever an apartment is available. i'm gonna put a link to this posting to the sidebar on the right so it's easy to access.

If you've got a room in your apartment that you wanna find an occupant for, post the details and shit. hopefully this will help some people out.

BARRY'S BACK!

Some of you might remember me going on and on a year or so ago about my friend Barry from Scotland.

Barry is obsessed with drinking, only he calls it hoaching, and now he and his friends made a website dedicated to Hoaching.

NOT ONLY CAN I DIG IT, I ALSO ATE IT

Yesterday was not one of the best days ever.

As I rode my bike home from work, on second avenue, i got doored. Doored is what happens to bike riders when someone opens their car door without looking to see if there's any on coming traffic. I got sandwiched between two cars and a kneeful of my bike basket and slammed into something, i'm not sure what. It happened quite fast and i just sat on my bike trying to gain my breath back and compose myself so i could continue back home, get changed and still make it to the screening of DIG!.

I made it home, got changed, and biked over to the Sunshine to meet up with Josh and Karen, and to my surprise, Lizzy and Maureen were there too. Knowing that Mr. Thighs Wide Shut would be there I made a quick announcement as I entered the theater and promptly found Mr. TWS. Gave him a kiss and got myself ready for my second band documentary in two days (saw the Ramones doc the day before).

The concept behind DIG! is pretty genius. Basically, a young film maker spent 7 years documenting the life and friendship and jealousies of The Brian Jonestown Massacre and the Dandy Warhols. Two bands that started out as the best of friends and supporters turned into two bands who turned competitive and confused. The film's writer, producer, and director, Ondi Timoner, does a brilliant job of putting some sort of sense in a story line that seems anything from simple. It's playing for a month at the Sunshine theater in NYC, and even if you're not a fan of either band, the story is compelling. If you find yourself being a fan of the bands, you'll be stoked to learn that every song BJM ever recorded is available for free on their website.

After the movie, birthday girl Elhaam, Ben (whom i'd like to thank for getting me and my friends in to the screening), Karen, Josh and I went to the after party at 6's and 8's to meet up with Roddy and Rod Skywalker. There was free RedStripe and drink tickets-a-plenty, but something about the movie made me want to either do loads of heroin, or stay completely sober. I chose sobriety for once and spent the night sipping on water. You can see photos of the whole to-do here on Polaroid Scene.

Karen and the Rods and I decided to head over to Hi Fi for Jim Merlis' "I'm leaving!" party (we bumped into the delightful Kat who heard about my first spill and checked in on my condition), and on the way over i had my second bike accident of the night. SECOND. Right in front of Mercury Lounge there's a part of the curb that's sort of like a ramp for cars to drive up on. I misjudged this lip and was unable to maneuver my bike over it. Instead i skidded and then was hurled off my bike head first to pavement. I don't remember banging it, though Karen was certain i did. I recall my knees getting it pretty bad as well as my torso.

I felt so embarrassed that i just jumped right up and hopped right back onto my bike and continued on.

HiFi was fun. Karen and I faced off with a Rod on each team for pool. Her team won. I went outside to call Kill Hannah just as Japanese James, Canadian Melissa, and Rabblerousing Ryan pulled up together from the Von Bondies show at Irving. I downloaded some gossip with James. Gina came out of no where and looked like a gothic goddess and then the KH boys rolled up and gave me hugs that were too tight for my aching body. About an hour later I had to leave since my back was starting to fail on me.

Today, i feel like shit.

My brother just sent me the Roxy Music song "Mother of Pearl" since he thinks it reminds him of Franz Ferdinand. He's right.

Ow.

MAZEL TOV, BRITNEY!

I LOVE YOU KEVIN FEDERLINE!



for more photos of her wedding, go here

A LITTLE TIP WITH HTML

My new favorite blog, SomeBlogsAreBetterThanOther, could use the following html tip:

Please have your links open up into a new window. You can do this by following the following HTML coding guide:
(switch this symbol: "{" with "<" and "}" with ">")
{a href="http://website here.com" target="_blank"}words that you think are clever{/a}

Now, just so you know, i'm not giving your blog attention to get on your good graces. I could care less. Anything negative that you could say about me, i've already said/heard about 39thousand times over. Sure, you can be 39001, but I'm too easy of a target. If you saw me in person, you'd be surprised by the gigantic target on my forehead.

For example: When my brothers and I broke the fast after Yom Kippur, we laughed about how you said that the doorways of my apt weren't big enough for my ego. My brothers suggested I look into that. I agreed.

Best of luck with your blog. I hope you take my advice with the HTML coding. My brother was a better anti blogger than you.

PS - The new Good Charlotte record is really fucking good.

BACKSTREET'S BACK, ALRIGHT

Everybody.
Rock your body.
Everybody.
Tattoo you body right.
Backstreet.

I got this link from the hilarious and hot kinderdoll Ollie.

dirty pistachio: http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A40906/high/phuphtoorightleg.jpg
dirty pistachio: NO REGRETS MAN
dirty pistachio: I HAVE THREE 90's POP CULTURE TATTOOS ON MY LEG, BUT FUCK IT ALL DUDE
dirty pistachio: IM GOING FOR IT, NO REGRETS
Ultragrrrl: holy shit. that's amazing.
dirty pistachio: can you imagine
dirty pistachio: being there
dirty pistachio: the day that guy wakes up and regrets all three of those?
dirty pistachio: god i wish i could be in more than one place at the same time.
dirty pistachio: the best part is
dirty pistachio: you know its like
dirty pistachio: a gay man or something
dirty pistachio: it has to be
dirty pistachio: do you think any straight man in his right mind would do that? i mean possibly a person off of mtv's real world..one of those winner clubber types...
Ultragrrrl: the kylie tatto gave it away.

HOW I MADE MY MILLIONS

If you will direct your eyes to the right of the screen, you'll notice that there is a new opportunity for people to advertise on my blog. Now you might be thinking "why the fuck would you do this?" and i would like to reply with "why the fuck not?" It's kind of like when a movie has someone drinking from a coke can instead of a generic brand one.

So if you want people to read your blog or something, buy a cheap ad and your link will appear. Brian did it with his blog, as you can see if you click on his name.

Tackiness aside, Dan Marcus suggested I get a seeing eye mini horse. I should get one for my shih-tzu!

OK, i'm carbo loading for the 25 hour fast that's about to happen. Not only will I be fasting, but I'll also be away from all forms of communication. Crazy!

TAKING THE NATION BY STORM

Or not really. But whoa, check out this Rolling Stone caption. Hilarious!

HELLO HELLO

I am a bit busy at the moment, but I will write later on about how amazing the Razorlight show was at Sin-e, and how surprisingly incredible the Green Day show at Irving was, but until then I would like to take this opportunity to discuss a little band I like to call THE GREATEST BAND ON EARTH RIGHT NOW WHO ISN'T ONE OF THE OTHER FOUR BANDS THAT I CONSIDER TO BE THE GREATEST BAND ON EARTH RIGHT NOW AS WELL.

You might know of them as Interpol.

Now, a few of you have written to me saying that you didn't really care for Antics, and I understand this. The first time i heard it I was confused. Paul's voice sounded different, the songs all sound same-y, and I just felt sort of cheated. Then I got a chance to listen to the album on a cdplayer (instead of the cassette tape my boss had given me from the label). I was still a bit "eh...." Until Alex (whose band the Madison Strays have a show on Friday at Rothko w/Pitty Sing), convinced me to give it another 10 shots. He promised me that I would love it once it penetrated my system. He said "It's better than TOTBL." I replied "That's total bullshit, dude." But gave it a whirl anyhow.

And you know what? Alex, with his little [insert private joke between me, him, and karen that could be considered inappropriate, but by me putting this here at least they will laugh] ears, is right. Antics is actually, way better than TOTBL. I mean, it would've been way, way, way better without "A Time To Be So Small" (I would've put "Percipitate" in there instead), but apart from that one song, which is at the end anyway, the album is fucking amazing.

So now, I present you with a picture of them:

STUPID SHIT

Top this really fucking retarded link and this one.

Or this avatar:

SEXY PARTY!

NEWS ALERT. Apparently there was a manhole explosion and the green subway line is not running or some shit like that.

ADIOS, DUDE

He hated The Killers, couldn't make me laugh, and I heard he kills puppies for fun. Now he's gone... and just in time for Yom Kippur!

And now i'll reveal TMFTML's identity.


*drumroll please*


Ladies and Gentlemen, please click here.

THE NIGHT I WAS BURGLARED

Last night started as any other night would. Karen and I went to check out a space for as new party we want to throw. We picked up my friend Josh afterwards and headed to union square where we all parted ways for a little while. Karen and I met back up at bar ELEVEN for Audrey's party that we were DJing (or pressing play and stop on the cd decks as some of you like to point out), and had a great time. We danced. We sung off key like dying songbirds of prey. We hugged and kissed our friends and played a set consisting of all songs we wanted to dedicate to each person there -- including "here comes the bride," which I had in my collection from the wedding i DJed a couple weeks ago (by the way, i love djing weddings if anyone needs a dj).

After our set we danced around to Audrey's set for an hour and then headed over to the Darkroom to meet up with people. Me, Karen, Leigh and Michael sat at a table taking photos of ourselves doing the Leigh photo face that all those people on this blog said she pulls in pictures. I made fun of her for being too young and too skinny. It was fun. Razorlight were also there, and I managed to remember that they were playing a show tonight at Sin-e (8pm if you want to go) and asked to be put on the list. Being ever-so-polite, they assured me that i'd be taken care of. There will be an after party for their show at the Darkroom tonight, incase you're looking for something fun to do.

Anyway, we were all enjoying ourselves, chatting about family and friends when Pete the barback came up to me holding my drivers license. "Is your name Sarah?" he asked. "Yeah, what's up Pete? What are you doing with my drivers license?" "Your bag was stolen. Some dude took your money, but i think everything else is in there. We found it in the garbage with some other purses."

I went to the bar to collect my items with the other girls when Josh asked if everything was there. I told him all was there except for my money (which i knew was stolen), my phone (which, if you've ever seen it, really is a piece of shit and hardly works), and my digital camera. I was packing my shit when i realized that Josh had disappeared. I looked around for him for a bit and went outside to see if he was there. I ran into Pete who then asked me if i got everything back.
"Yeah, cept for my camera and phone."
"Oh, your friends got that stuff back."
"They did? What are you talking about?"
"They found the dude who stole it and beat him up. Everything was recovered."

I walked up the block where i saw a bunch of cop cars and found Josh and Co. talking to a couple of cops while another few were trying to handcuff the robber. The thief was yelling that he didn't steal anything, yet, each time they reached into his pockets to pull out whatever my friends were unable to get, someone would claim their item. "Hey! you stole my stripper scented perfume!" I yelled at the dude as the cops pulled my victoria's secret love spell spray out. However, my phone and my camera were still missing. The dude was screaming from the cop car that he didn't steal anything and that he was the door man for the Darkroom as Jason (the owner) and the actual doorman stood by in disbelief.

Josh's friends told me that the dude was standing about 40 feet from the darkroom trying to sell our stolen goods. Can you fucking believe that? Forty fucking feet! Dude, if you're gonna sell our stolen shit, you should try going to at least orchard street or Houston. Don't stand across the street from Max Fish! So the dudes spotted him, he started throwing a bunch of shit around and they managed to hold him down to collect the remaining items (which included another girls' phone, travelers checks, etc.). The guy was possibly on something -- they suspect cocaine -- since he was flipping around like a fish and unresponsive to the blows they were giving him (btw, i dont condone violence at all, but i guess in this case it was needed).

I told the guys i still hadn't found my phone or camera and started picturing the person he sold my phone to calling the people in my phone book. To be honest, and i'm really not trying to be like "oooh, look whose number i have in my phone!" i was sort of worried that whomever got my phone would end up texting/calling up the musicians i have in there and telling them they suck. "Hello, Matchbox Twenty? You suck!" I don't have mb20's number, but you get the picture.

The guys told me that the dude had been throwing shit around and that my phone was probably among the stuff being tossed, so it could be under a car. Josh and I started walking up the street looking under cars when he got the bright idea to call the phone. Just as I stood in front of a car, my phone started ringing... it was sitting on top of the hood!

Still no camera. :(

For those of you who can't get into the Razorlight show or the Green Day show tonight, Inouk is playing at Tonic and definitely worth checking out. Is anyone gonna see Metric tomorrow at the Bowery?

And since putting Leigh's photo up brought me a shit load of extra traffic yesterday, i figured i'd put another one up. This time there's a little something for everyone with the addition of GEO.

TAKE YOU ON A CRUISE TO THE LOWER EAST SIDE

Acclaimed novelist and my own personal Jesus, Marc Spitz, is having a Birthday Party cause he's aged.



Incase you wanna buy me a gift instead of him, i've got my eye on this lovely bag.

Otherwise, Marc likes all things Smiths related, and things for kitties and baked goods.

GIRL CRUSH

Ultragrrrl: new sienna miller photos!: http://www.luxuryfashion.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=36500
KarenRTAG: damn her
Ultragrrrl: SOOOO PRETTY.
Ultragrrrl: Dare i say, she's looking better than kate?
KarenRTAG: i was about to say!
KarenRTAG:: look at kate moss actually not looking so good!
Ultragrrrl: she needs a nap maybe.
KarenRTAG: and perhaps a baby?
Ultragrrrl: she's got a baby.
KarenRTAG: WHERE THE FUCK IS IT
Ultragrrrl: eating pills of ex maybe.
KarenRTAG: hahahahahaha
KarenRTAG: that would be the greatest david lachapelle photo... sadies baby and kates baby lounging by a pool rolling on ex
Ultragrrrl: hahah.

I'M SORRY, BUT KEVIN FEDERLINE IS REALLY FUCKING HOT

Fuck you Britney!

COMMON PEOPLE

Uh oh! A new MisShapes Gallary is up! You know what that means? MORE PHOTOS OF THE GORGEOUS LEIGH! Yo, will someone put me in touch with a modeling agent for her? Who ever suggested she be a Guess model was spot on!

BRITNEY GOT MARRIED

Mr. and Mrs. Federline broke momma Spears' heart and got surpise nuptuals. Check it out at steregum.

DOGGY UPDATE

As I was walking my dog to my mom's car she had another, worse, seizure. We brought her to the Animal Medical Center on the upper east side and after a few tests, they couldn't find anything wrong with her. She still needs to get her heart examined and her brain checked since she could have a problem in both those areas. She's really old, so i guess that if she did have problems there, it's a bit hard to fix. I love that little one so much. More than I could ever express.

TO HELL WITH YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS

I'm home sick at the moment, and not totally with it. My mom dropped my blind/deaf 15 year old shih-tzu at my apartment at 8am this morning so i could baby sit her. I took her for a walk and just as we were about to come back into my apartment she had a seizure. She started flayling her legs about and just flattened down on the ground while sticking her tongue out. I didnt know what to do. She's had strokes before I think, but I don't think I've ever had to deal with one of her seizures. With humans, seizures come and go, and the person can be normal. I'm hoping this is the case right now, cause she's just sleeping.

Wednesday was the first night of Rosh Hashanna, marking year 5023832 in the Jewish calendar. My family did dinner at my parent's house where we discussed my dad's suddenly lucrative eBay business. He produced an envelope that had the signatures of a bunch of former presidents that he bought in an auction and told us of his plans to sell it. I started to feel sick and faint, so i left the table as my brothers were yelling at him for bringing the autographs to the very messy dinner table.

You know the thing about the jewish holidays, and i'm sure the heeb ladies will back me on this one, is that it's hard as fuck to find something decent to wear for Shul. Karen and her roommate Brigid call the clothes that you can wear on the holidays Shul-friendly, and the problem with these clothes is that they're just sort of ugly. Long, personality-less skirts, boring tops, boring jackets, boring shoes. So i decided to wear this black dress and sienna miller/kate moss inspired belt and slouchy black suede boots. I was covered up very well... the only problem was that i decided to put on my make up in the car and apparenly ended up looking like a goth. My lipstick was too red. my eyes were outlined too darkly. My brothers reminded me that i wasn't going to misshapes, while my mom said that she loved the way i was dressed. I go to this super posh upper west side shul for sephardics, and got a few stares. One woman asked me if i changed my look. She had the same name as my mom's mom, Fortunee.

After shul we headed to my dad's sister's house in brooklyn for a marathon lunch that ended around 7. Then we went to my mom's brother's house for dinner. My family does nothing but eat. Seriously, i know people comment on my weight sometimes, but it's seriously a wonder that I'm not obese considering the way my family eats. By the end of the evening, my brother's and i were in agony. I got to hang out with my teenaged cousins though, which was awesome. We just sat there for an hour or two talking about the emo bands they love and how they think the Taking Back Sunday song is about pulling a fat girl. My cousin Eric is so cute. He looks like a combination of Jake Gyllenhaal and Frankie from My Chemical Romance, and will totally be a lady killer in a couple years.

More to come... my mom just arrived to pick up my dog.

THIS ISN'T IT

First off, thanks to everyone who posted in the below post. Basically the reason I asked is because I felt like my blog was really going off course -- it became less of what it was originally supposed to be, which is a diary of my drinking escapades originally intended for my family/friends, and more of a "here's some interesting news...". Which isn't bad. But i was doing that because that's what i figured people wanted to read. The only comment I'm gonna comment on is the one where someone said i don't support female bands enough... I post quite often about Giant Drag, The Oohlas, and The YYYs. I don't typically like female singers, so that might be why my femme pickings are slim.

I'm gonna give a lovely recap of my Rosh Hashanna aka "The day Jews eat from the moment they leave Shul until they pass out from a food coma." But I'm working on some stuff at work and I'm really feeling sick, so I gotta just concentrate at one thing ... or at least try to. You can look at some photos from MisShapes when Jarvis Cocker DJed with Audrey, Kat, Irilijana, and the Tarts of Pleasure.

I'm DJing at Red&Black on saturday, solo, and as TARTS OF PLEASURE on Monday at Eleven from 10-12 for Audrey's party. Please come.

Anyway, here's an IM i had with Mr. Thighs:

ThighDaddy: where's u get yer name?
Ultragrrrl: it's a story right up your alley!
ThighDaddy: i love alleys
ThighDaddy: kate &
Ultragrrrl: hahaah
Ultragrrrl: when i was 16 or 17 my brother worked at this company, and his boss was thinking of investing in this product called UltraFemme. it's like a diaphram for women to wear when they have their period.
Ultragrrrl: before investing in it, my brother asked if i'd give my opinion on it. i tried it out. hated it, and told him to tell his boss not to invest. his boss didnt' listen and it was a failure.
ThighDaddy: LO_IK$RBH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@~$%#
Ultragrrrl: and so when i needed to get an email address for AOL, i told my brother that i wanted something that ended in grrrl
Ultragrrrl: cause i saw a photo of frances bean cobain where kurt wrote on her belly "diet grrrl"
Ultragrrrl: so i wanted to be moongrrrl (after a hair dye i used called moon something)
Ultragrrrl: but my brother decided to call me ultragrrrl insteadd.
Ultragrrrl: and that's where i got the name. i was named after a feminine product.
ThighDaddy: amazing
ThighDaddy: have u ever posted it?
ThighDaddy: i mean, that story?
Ultragrrrl: no. not yet.
ThighDaddy: i lovessssssss it

A QUESTION TO THE READERS

I'm just wondering... why do you people read this blog? I want to know. I get a lot of hits everyday and I was just wondering what people who come here like to read. Do you like finding out about new bands? Do you like reading about how many drinks i had last night? Do you like getting silly links to cute baby animals and other retarded shit i find online? Do you like reading about how i'm a crazy jew? What is it? In other words, what would you, as the reader, like to see more of on here. Feel free to answer anonymously in the comments section. thank you and good night.

OUT OF CONTROL PLAY STATION

My friend Justin works at eBay. I'm not quite sure what he does there, but every once in a while he shares with me funny stories from work and sends me some of the totally bizarre auctions people put up.

So, would you like to buy a playstation?

L'SHANA TOVA!


(image from ThighsWideShut aka, the bestester blog about Thighs)

Now go listen to Apartment if you know what's good for you. I wish they had their song "Wishing Machine" up there. That song breaks my heart cause I'm in love with the girl that came from the bay... it's such a long way.

BABY ANIMAL TIME

From the Sun: THESE baby gorilla twins showed they are thumb-thing special when they were unveiled yesterday.

The male and female are a rarity as gorillas rarely have more than one baby at a time.

Mum Kena gave birth at Barcelona Zoo last month but they were shown for the first time yesterday.

Their grandfather was 28-stone Snowflake - the world's only known albino gorilla.

A zoo spokesman said: "They are in perfect health."


IN OTHER NEWS...

Please go check out 9:30pm - The Morning After tonight at 9:30 at Rothko. They're totally fantastic and just your band if you're a fan of the Jim Carrol band. Marc Spitz likes them so much that he asked them to play his birthday party next month.

I'm not sure what you're doing Saturday night but there are two things going down that seem like they could be loads of fun (yes, i'm biased):

The Sons of Sound are playing at Sin-e (on the lower east side) at 9pm.

After that, hop in a cab to Brooklyn to hear me DJ songs at Red & Black. Maybe I'll make out with more boys and girls then I did last saturday at MisShapes, but probably not.

SUBLET AVAILABLE!

My friend Adam needs someone to move into his apartment and become his new roommate. Here's the info:

Available October 1

1 big bedroom in a 2 bedroom Lower East Side apartment
$1350 plus utilities
Huge living room
Hardwood floors
Computer/Cable TV

Just down the street from lots of great bars, cafes, shops and restaurants. Very close to lots of music venues.
Only 2 blocks away from either the F train Delancey stop or the J M Z

no pets


Contact Adam
adam_mandel@hotmail.com

WAR.CHILD

Here's a trailer to a heartbreaking documentary Sum41 did with War.Child. They interview killer child soldiers and teenaged rape victims. they also get caught in cross fire: http://www.magnacyd.com/congo/

I want to crawl into a hole and cry for living a shallow life.

HER HAPPY ENDING?

Is Avril engaged? Looks like Mr. Sum41 knows how to throw down the dollas for the bling.

BOOZE. ACTORS. PLAYS. MOVIES. STUFF.

My friend Jason from Moxie just told me about this really awesome thing happening on monday night that sounds like it'll be really fucking awesome.

Basically 6 writers, 6 directors and about 30 actors get together to write,
rehearse and perform 6 short plays all in the course of 24 Hours.

Actors involved are people like: Sam Rockwell, Matthew Lillard, Brooke
Sheilds, Anna Paquin, Rosie Perez, Billy Crudup, Anthony Mackie.

Here's the details:
DETAILS MAGAZINE and BLOOMINGDALES
In Association with MOXIE PICTURES
Present
A PLANET IMPACT and 24 HOUR COMPANY Production
of

THE 24 HOUR PLAYS ON BROADWAY

4th Annual New York Benefit to aid WORKING PLAYGROUND

Amanda Peet, Billy Crudup, Mos Def, Rachel Dratch,
Gaby Hoffman, Catherine Kellner, Matthew Lillard,
Anthony Mackie, Julianna Margulies, Mums, Rosie Perez,
John C. Reilly, Sam Rockwell, Brooke Shields, Brooke
Smith, Fisher Stevens, Lili Taylor, Frank Whaley and
other surprise celebrity guests race against the clock
in six plays, written, cast, directed, rehearsed and
performed all within 24 hours.

Performance to be held Monday, September 13th, 2004
8:00pm

AMERICAN AIRLINES THEATER, 227 W. 42nd St., NYC
SMART TIX (212) 868-4444

DOGS THAT TALK!

Wanna see dogs that talk? I thought so. Watch this. And hey, Brother Lawrence, watch it til the end for a dog that looks like Maxine!

INTRODUCING THE BEST VIDEO OF THE YEAR

OK. I know i'm a victim of hyperbole, but seriously, this one is fantastic. It's for My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay". They have a live video that's on Fuse and MTV2 a lot, but this one, i like, whoa.

It was shot at the school where they shot Donnie Darko and the concept of the video is that it's supposed to be a trailer to a teen movie -- it's even shot on film.

I am late for dinner, so you're gonna just have to copy and paste the following appropriate links into your browser, i dont have time to do the HTML:

http://www.warnerreprise.com/asx/mychemicalromance_imnot_56-v.asx

http://www.warnerreprise.com/asx/mychemicalromance_imnot_100-v.asx

http://www.warnerreprise.com/asx/mychemicalromance_imnot_300-v.asx

http://www.warnerreprise.com/asx/mychemicalromance_imnot_450-v.asx

http://www.warnerreprise.com/qt-ref/mychemicalromance_imnot_ref.mov

OH, DEAR PITTY SING

Just got the new Pitty Sing album. Fuck. It's really good. It's really fucking good.

NO HE'S NOT. HE'S A PRESIDENTIAL CANIDATE

HURRICANE FRANCES FERDINAND

Set times for tonight's show at the Roseland, since some of you are wondering:

7:30 - The Futureheads
8:30 - The Delays
9:30 - Franz Ferdinand

YAY FOR PUPPIES!

A puppy shot a puppy murderer. Watch your back, fucker.

EDIT: Look at the walking dog.

THIS SATURDAY AT MISSHAPES


Jarvis Cocker from Pulp

and


The Tarts of Pleasure: KarenPlusOne and Ultragrrrl (hey, that's me!)

WILL BE DJING (aka selecting music from our collections that we hope will make you dance despite no beat matching)

No guest lists.

ANOTHER AWESOME BAND. ANOTHER AWESOME VIDEO

Pssst... peep this video from New Rhodes. Thanks to my fellow nerd, Karen for the tip.

I think i'm in love.

NEW FAVORITE BAND ALERT!

OK, so the lovely Karen Plus One just IMed me saying "I can't believe you dont like the Departure!" and I was like "Well, I don't even remember what they sound like to be honest." So I went to their site, checked out their music video, and had to watch it about three times. It reminds me of older Blur mixed with Joy Divisoin. They're a bit like Apartment and The New Rhodes.

TRL FAN OF THE WEEK!

My friend Alex Chow needs to open his eyes to the hotness of Kate Moss... but until then, he's TRL Fan of the Week.

And if you're a fan of Ben Kweller and want to see a private acoustic show of his on thursday in the SPIN offices, please email me here: slewitinn@spin.com. Limited space, so please contact me soon.

RADIO4 AFTER PARTY!

Wednesday night I'll be DJing the Radio4 afterparty at Rothko.
If you wanna go rsvp@addvicemarketing.com with r4 in the subject.
There will be an open bar 12:30 - 2:30 with Red Stripe & Vodka.
Plus, they just renovated the downstairs area and it's huge with a bar. If you plan on using the bathrooms, i suggest you bring your own soap.

HEY DUDE

Is this a dog or a dude? The world is weighing in. One thing is for sure, the dog that i met on Rivington street is wearing a hat:

I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS

That Taking Back Sunday song should be outlawed for it's addictive qualities. I'm gonna feel bad for the people I sit next to at work, cause that's going into heavy rotation.

Also, Brand New? Double you tee eff, man. I had no idea they were awesome, and I missed the memo about the singer being one of Morrissey's offspring (looks and vocals wise). OK, that "Jude Law" song is pretty whack, but "The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows" is the song I'm all about.

I think this is what happens when you DiVo FUSE.

WE ARE ALL GOING TO HELL

Watch the video for "Y-Control".

BEER AND DONNIE DARKO!

Yes, you read correctly. Now see this.

BRITNEY HEARTS INDIE ROCK!

Or at least it looks like she's been checking it out for fashion cues:

take a bit of the libertines' rosary ...



mix it with a bit of the strokes' love of converse shoes and blazers...



and you get....



BAD BAND NAME, GREAT BAND

Dogs Die In Hot Cars isn't the worst name, but when I was younger I remember seeing all those PSAs on ABC while I was watching cartoons and they had this one about leaving dogs in cars and how they would die if you did that. I love dogs. I don't want them to die in hot cars or any cars. That's why I don't like this band's name.

However, the band, is great. They're like Dexy's Midnight Runners. Simple and fun. When I listen to them I feel like I'm watching VH1 Classics. I recommend the song "Celebrity Sanctum."

Speaking of VH1 Classics, if you have TiVo or DiVo or whatever, you need to have it record "The Alternative." It's like watching "120 Minutes" 17 years ago. The last episode had Jesus and Mary Chain, Blur when they wanted to be the Stone Roses, old REM, and the Plimsouls. It's the best music television out there.

Scott Lapatine is today's Gothamist Interview. Scott is awesome, if you didn't already know it. He said I can DJ his wedding. Well, ok, he didn't, but I'm gonna stand outside the shul in a trench coat and gigantic boombox playing a mix CD.

BACK HOME!

I finally made it back home. I asked the lady at the car rental place to stay on the phone with me this time so i wouldn't get lost finding the place like I did on monday. She was so sweet and directed me to where I had to go. They over charged though. Apparently with some credit cards you dont need to get a certain insurance coverage, and they naturally didn't tell me this. So my mom, being the darling that she is, is gonna call and sort things out. That will save me $85!

There's a new Misshapes Galler up right here. It makes me so happy to be home.

Friends, Tom's roommate Dave Shitehouse is in town this weekend. I'm warning you in advance because he's very cute so you need to meet him. I'll be taking him to Misshapes. You can touch him if he lets you. Hi Dave!

Karen is due back soon. I can't wait. I miss her. She went to Reading and all she brought me is mud.

Um... My Brother Lawrence is awesome. Read his blog.

And stellastarr* is playing their last show of the year at Motherfucker this weekend. You need to go. If you dont, you will die. That would be absolutely tragic, but we all have to die sometime.

Anyone know when the next Sons of Sound show is? I missed their last one and I feel like running into a wall as a result. Join me?

Oh! Tenafly people: Brad Miller (class of 98) got engaged!

SHIPWRECKED!

I came down to miami to cover the VMAs, got lost trying to find the EZ Car rental place by the Ft. Lauderdale airport, and am now stuck in Miami until tomorrow morning because all the flights were booked til then since there will be a hurricane here in a bit. The upside to that is that I got to go night swimming with a friend in the ocean. As we were swimming she pointed to a glow i the distance. We stood there watching the glow become more intense with each passing moment, trying hard to figure out what it was. Apocalyptic visions mixed with Lord of the Rings like fantasies were quickly nulled once we realized that it was just a very large full moon rising. I need to stop being so paranoid. We were ready to die right there from either a nuclear bomb or the gigantic eye from LOTR.

Now I'm in an internet cafe and for some reason i cant check my work email from here. I saw Hilary Duff eating lunch and nearly broke down and told her that I loved her new single (i do)... but mostly cause I'm i dire need of human interaction with someone who was at the VMAs so we can discuss how boring they were.

I did get to meet Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, but I'll write about that in SPIN. And I got kicked out of one of the SPIN parties... it was so worth it. Nobody from SPIN knew i was kicked out til the next day though, and thought it was hilarious.

I'm also broke. That's not so hilarious.

ANOTHER BLOG SPIN-OFF

My older brother Lawrence has started a blog. He's a cool dude even if he is technically a Republican. Motherfucker was making me deaf since I was a wee little girl by playing Echo and the Bunnymen, Joy Division, and Bauhaus on our mom's shitty car stereo on full blast when he'd pick me up from Allison Mann's house.

Maybe someone will offer him a book deal in a couple months too.

HELLO STRANGER

Jude Law + Natalie Portman = Bliss (when not in Cold Mountain apparently).

RECOMMENDED ROCK

THE GIFT OF GOODBYE

Last night I bid farewell to my favorite person on the planet, Brian, by attending his Karaoke send off shindig. Before heading over, I went to Gideon's so he could feed my face with a home cooked meal (he's such a good cook, it's retarded), and so he could help me decide on which songs to perform off key. We decided on Madonna's "Like A Prayer" (which i performed twice), George Michael's "Freedom 90," and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' "Maps."

On my way to Brian's I discovered that this town is out of Sparks and was forced to create a homemade Sparks by mixing Old English and Redbull. It actually wasn't too bad. Anyway, i was gonna write more about Brian's send off, but I'm really just totally fucking sad about this to talk about it more. He's my best friend. I see him almost every other day, if it's at a bar or at my house late at night, and now I'm not gonna see him anymore and it makes me really fucking sad. Anyway, he's moving to San Francisco for a software job. I'm excited for him and I hope it works out. I also hope he gets really rich and can fly me out for sunday brunch.

This weekend I'm going to Miami to cover the VMAs. I'm stoked cause it'll be fun, but mostly I'm stoked because one of my oldest and dearest friends is also going. One time we went to the VMAs (2001) and wound up at this crazy party thrown by Wayne Isham at the Hudson Hotel. The two of us, like little mice, ran to the food table and ate as much as we could before the cleaning people took it away. Then we drank what we could find (champagne!) and sat back as we watched a flurry of random raprockers walk through the door. I recall waiting for the bathroom behind Fred Durst. It was odd. At 6am we were still at the party and the sun began to rise. We sat on some outdoor bench with Linkin Park doing some sort of campfire sing-a-long. It was like camp. We never spoke of it since.

Also going is a new friend of mine who is about to get a crash course in my party life. I hope the new friend is prepared. I hope my new friend and old friend get along well, and most of all, I just hope we all have fun.

I've cancelled my plans for tonight so I can watch the new episode of "TOTALLY OBSESSED" on VH1. The shit is genius. The other day they had this couple that treated this cabbage patch kid doll like it was their son. They took it on vacation, built it a club house, started a college fund for it, talked to it. This couple also had a real life daughter that they hardly seemed to care about and she was very resentful of this fact. Then they showed the dad fishing with the cabbage patch kid doll and I couldn't help but think that either this couple is terribly disturbed possibly caused by a lost of a son named Kevin, or this was a Christopher Gest comedy skit. The whole thing was totally out of Best In Show. Tivo it.

Lastly, Alex Chow is having a birthday party on August 27. If you're looking for a good time, I strongly recommend you go to this hot shot shin dig. I'm not gonna be there cause I'll be DJing at Club Revolver in Miami.

ATTENTION MIAMI FOLK

I think i'm gonna be DJing at Club Revolver on Friday in Miami's fashion district. Please come and say hi as I wont know too many people. This party is like the Misshapes of Miami, for any NYC people who will be down there as well for the VMAs.

A HELPING HAND

I like helping out those less fortunate, so please check out this auction that a reader sent in. I'm not making fun. I really am not. Seriously. I know what it's like to want to earn an extra buck, and if this guy is doing it this way, then more power to him.

ATTENTION GAY READERS AND PEOPLE WITH GAY FRIENDS, OR TRANSGENDER FRIENDS, OR BISEXUAL FRIENDS, OR PEOPLE WHO ARE MAYBE A BIT CONFUSED:

My dear friend Jason asked me to help his friends out by posting this. I love gays, so I said sure:

SUBMIT AT QUEERTHOLOGY.COM

I need your help.  Billy Merrell (author of Talking in the Dark) and David Levithan (author of The Realm of Possibility) are putting together an anthology of nonfiction writing about being young and gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or questioning in today's world.  Knopf will be publishing it in late 2005, and all of the royalties will go to GLSEN (the Gay Lesbian Student Education Network, a national organization ensuring safe schools for all LBGT students -- www.glsen.org).  So it's an important book for an important cause.  Writers can be between 13 and 23 years old, and don't need to be LGBTQ themselves to be in the collection.  Since Billy and David know only so many people, they really need the word to spread about this, to get the most diverse sampling available.  So please forward this on to anyone you know who either might want to write something themselves or who might know someone who'd be interested. 

What we're looking for:
-- Nonfiction about being LGBTQ in today's world;  tone can be serious, humorous -- we're open to anything.  And the form can also be whatever the writer wants (prose, poetry, comic, etc.)

-- Writers must be between 13 and 23 (including 13 and 23)

Where to find out more information:
-- Billy and I have set up a website -- www.queerthology.com -- which explains the anthology and goes into detail about what we're looking for.

-- NOTE:  The deadline for submissions is OCTOBER 15th.  Right now the website says September 15th, but that will soon be fixed).

TONIGHT

FROM THE DESK OF NIKI THE ROOMMATE

Niki believes that Paris Hilton is going for the slow boob job of a little added every few weeks. Notice how she's getting a bit rounder up top? This story is still developing.

MUSIC FROM 1999 ALERT!

I am still trying to pick my chin up from dropping it on the ground in total shock: A Jack Drag song is being used in a Hummer car commercial. I LOVE JACK DRAG! this is such great news. It's a song off of their album Dope Box, but I couldn't remember which since it's been a year since I heard the album... which I highly suggest you buy here. It's a bit like the stone folk implosing roses. I was obsessed with it when i was 19.

IN MY COUNTRY THERE IS PROBLEM

Knowing about my absolute adoration for monkeys, Greg the Goyfriend sent me this. They look like half the boys I've ever dated.

My friend Iann is in love with The Killers. He doesn't love many things -- he certainly hates about 85% of the bands I love -- but he loves the Killers. So much so that he managed to figure out that their Hot Fuss is a concept album (meanwhile, i just thought it was a collection of awesome songs). Here's his breakdown:

"Here's the whole story arc:
Andy kills Jenny "Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine".
"Mr. Brightside" tells why he did it -- hence the lyric "all in my head."
"Smile Like You Mean It" is a memory of them together that he knew she was going to leave him.
"Somebody Told Me" is people whispering that he killed her, because she found out he was gay or had had a gay affair (hence the chorus).
"All These Things I've Done" is him rationalizing it all while being ont he lamb.
"Andy, You're A Star " is the kid who falls in love with him watching him on TV [Iann doesn't mention it here, but in our IM he aptly compared it to "Last of the Famous International Playboys" by Morrissey -- which happens to be our favorite Moz song].
"On Top" is about him being on the lamb.
"Change You Mind" is him having rationalized what he's done and trying to convince his parents or his friends.
"Believe Me Natalie" is Jenny's best friend who brings the cops and he's trying to convince her he didn't do it.
"Everything Will Be alright" is about him in jail, realizing what he's done but feeling it'll be ok."

Well done Iann!

OK. Please don't forget that the Tarts of Pleasure and Death & Destruction are DJing tomorrow at Misshapes.

HAIL TO THE IRON CHEF

I love Divo. I come home after a long night out on the town dancing in circles around my friends who are in town this week to play shows and can collapse on my bed or start nodding off on my couch while watching the Iron Chef and watch them make delightful meals using ingredients i've never heard of. When they use stuff I have heard of -- like chicken -- i'm disappointed. The presentations of the meals aren't as creative and they use whole chickens (head and talons included) which causes me to scream as i cover my eyes. My favorite episode was when the theme ingrediant was octopus that they had to kill themselves. The arms of the octopi were still squirming and moving and flopping in every direction. Tentacles hanging on for dear life... makes me eager to return to being a vegetarian.

These days I've become more sassy than usual. I like people a lot. I think that's my defining characteristic: I like things. I like all things and I typically want all things to like me, however, that's not always the case. I don't like when people disrespect my friends, and I have been having a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I think that at the Music show last night I suddenly replaced my usually sunny disposition with a pitbull. The person I faught with called me high strung. Oddly enough, i was practically falling asleep moments before they approached me and my friend (it'd been a long week and I was exhausted from dancing at the show) and started being assholes. One thing shouted out of my mouth was "shut your fucking face you fuckwad." If you're ever in a position where some douchebag starts making inappropriate comments to one of your best friends, that's always a great way to get your anger out since it's so much fun to say!

Fistfights aside, the show last night was so much awesome. Seeing the Music live is one of my favorite things to do. They're like 20 years old and are so unbelievably tight and yet trippy, exciting, psychedellic... no matter what state of mind your in, for the 60 minutes you're listening to Robert Harvey scat like a frog, it's like a fantastic dream. "Bleed from Within" was definitely the show's stand out track. It's like every great idea the band ever had for a song crammed into one 6:27 minute carnival of sensations that was only further improved by the addition of bongos Stuart the bassist started jamming on as if to attempt to distract the audience from watching the incredible Robert Harvey dance around the stage as if he were at some tripped out african bonfire.

After the show, as per usual these days, we (Karen, Niki, The Music, Tim and Co, the 5OH, Kiran, Lauren) headed over to the DarkRoom. The bar's been open a week and already I've found myself there about 3 or 4 times. So have my partners in crime. I'm stoked cause the place is like 4 blocks from my house and it makes riding home at 5 am less scary. I think i'm gonna inquire about renting a booth or something.

God is Awesome cause when we finally pulled ourselves out of the bar, who was standing outside of Luna Lounge? None other than Brian (who has just updated his website with photos from my birthday party!), Meredith and Amy. We danced around for a bit on the sidewalks and hobbled home after DJ Nikki Z snapped an absolutely awful photo of my exhausted mug.

OK. Time for me to rest my bones. But oh la la! A text message just arrived from Antony. The Five O'Clock Heroes are playing at the Delancey next Thursday (26th) at ten. Yay! Go see them. If your a dude, go. Greg the Boyfriend swears that their shows are like a meat market for PYTs in short skirts and fake IDs.

KEVIN AND BRITNEY

People that know me know one thing for certain: i think that Kevin Federline is one hot piece of ass. I could look at photos of him all day long. Now i understand there's a chance i can watch him all day long as well. This is great news.

please sign this

PLEASE

keep all cell phones out of my hands after 5 drinks if i'm still awake at five am.
by the way. i heard i'm the gawker personal of the day. the last thing i need in my life is more boys. i decided to change my photo and put something totally tasteful in it's place.

last night i went to see the libertines. they were good, fantastic actually, but lacked the sexual tension that i love about them. it was heartbreaking to watch carl command a stage that he once shared with someone he so obviously loved with all his heart but had to let go of. no doubt he can do this alone, but i couldnt help but think of pink floyd while watching them. what do you do when your singer goes crazy? you move on. you try to grow from the experience and make the best music you can with what you've got and then end up being a vital band. i wonder if that will happen to the libertines. while watching something so sad, i also felt like i was privvy to something mildly historic in music culture. like we're at the eye of the storm, and something is brewing that might knock my trailer park home on it's side in the near future.

after the show i went to the dark room. my new favorite bar. after my two sparks and two caronas i really should've called it a night. instead my night consisted of me mouthing off my big fucking mouth. i have a new friend. his name is antony and he's in that band the five o'clock hereos aka the cutest band in nyc who are also really good and whom gregtheboyfriend is a big fan of cause their shows consist of a lot of nubile pyt's. i hate being friends with boys in bands, i really do. but he's a cool dude and he's got skills. computer hacking skills, ebay skills, and he can grow a mustache in like, two days. sweet! antony had to deal with my drunken skills for many hours and was very gracious about it. as was his guitarist elliot who is equally cute. i like hanging out with cute boys that i don't touch.

there were a lot of boys in bands. girls in bands. people who listen to bands. and people who say they dont listen to the bands that were there.

a sample conversation from last night.
random boy: excuse me, do you have a cigarette?
me: did you ask me this cause i'm holding a box of cigarettes in my hand?
boy: no. you just look like you would have a cigarette.
me: is it cause i'm short? you think smoking stunted my growth?
boy: yes.
me: here.
boy: you having fun?
me: i am.
boy: do you want to meet carl from the libertines?
me: no.
boy: are you serious?
me: yes.
boy: why?!
me: so i can scare him off by professing my love for his band? no.

and i walked off.

i think feel like hell today. horay.

tonight i'm going to see the music at bowery ballroom. this will be an amazing show. last night robert the singer did a flying kick to my head. ok. he didnt. but he told someone i was totally pissed (drunk) when i accidently fucked up the vowels in her name. he was absolutely right.

what are you doing on saturday night?

HEY, FUCK YOU.

Remember when everyone got all pissy at me for posting this?

Well, the New York Times ran a thing that Scott pointed out to me about the Federline Style.

And a week or two ago i decided to take a photo of all the boys I passed in the five blocks it takes for me to get from my door to the subway. 10 boys with the over sized shirts were counted. Here's photo evidence:


OK. so quit calling me crazy.

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT

I'm squealing with delight:

ERKLÄREN SIE IHR HEUTE ABEND

On Franz's website there is a link to an mp3 of Paul singing "Tell Her Tonight" in German. Thank you Kris for that info.

I'd like to point out that Franz Ferdinand is not only how a band should look like (The Killers and Interpol are included in this list cause they all might as well share a wardrobe... Oh, the Killers. My Las Vegas boyfriends. I love them. Swoon... swoon baby starry night...), but their members are also what boys should look like in general. Angular faces. Nice hair cuts. Fantastic dressers. For all you Franz Freaks out there, i dont mean to promote my magazine, but there's a seriously hot photo of Alex in the Pixies issue. I mean, i stared at it for like 5 minutes thinking "EVERY BOY SHOULD LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THIS." I'm gonna try to find a way to blow up the image and put it on the inside of my locker.

Boys. Take note:


A blog about the weekend and last night when i found myself knee deep in peanut butter and mormons will be coming up.

TUESDAY NIGHT

Tomorrow I'll post about the weekend and bring this blog back into swing.

Oh, blog readers from Tenafly -- Tiffany Duques got married a week or two ago! Horay!

anyway... Adam Mandel is DJing on Tuesday. Check it:

Tomorrow night August 17, Adam Mandel in conjunction with Deez Nutz Entertainment presents "Sweet Hookups" at Sin Sin 248 E. 5th St. (at 2nd Avenue).
Starting at 9 p.m. DJ Elle and Rukus Jones will be spinning old skool, hip-hop, electronic, 80's, rock and other things that will make your Tuesday not suck.
The music will be hot, the drinks will be cold (and cheap).

Represent, bitches!!!!!

THE KILLERS SHOW TONIGHT

The Killers asked me to DJ before, after, and between sets. So if you're going, please dance. Thanks!

A REMINDER

Wanna be a DJ? If you come to the Tarts of Pleasure DJ gig tonight at Red and Black in Williamsburg, and bring your own music (indie, pop, new wave, rock, hip hop only... no house. no jungle. no songs i can't sing along to), we'll throw you behind the decks and let you bust a move. Don't know how to DJ? That's alright, I'll show you how. You can buy me a drink for the lesson cause really, it's only worth a few bucks.

We're making a drunken ruckous from 11pm - 4am.

MUSE NUSE

From the desk of Karen Plus One Temple Clause:

little known soccer star, chris from muse, has BROKEN HIS WRIST, thereby forcing muse to cancel their remaining appearances with the curiosa tour.

For those of you in Chicago who were bummed... I'm bummed for you! Fear not, they'll be back for a USA tour this fall with the Secret Machines opening. Hot Damn!

ARE YOU A DRUMMER?

The Ooh La's are still looking for a drummer. They're really good and you should move to LA to join their band.

You will love their songs.

SHE WAS AMERICAN?

Julia Child is dead.

THIS IS AWESOME




THIS IS ODD



I mean, it's kind of weird that the king of Rape Rock is a fan of the Smiths. You have to wonder if he knows how utterly gay Morrissey is. Morrissey is so gay that you can catch gay from listening to him. This is why I'm hopelessly devoted to the Moz (so much so that baby #1 is gonna be named Moz). I guess that if at least one mook decided to pick up a Smiths album because Fred was wearing their t-shirt, and liked them, then all is alright and the terrorists haven't won yet.

Speaking of our President, Gays, and Terrorists... My brother suggested that Bush should've said they were gonna fight and keep troops in Iraq until they made gay marriages legal there. He thinks Bush is a retard, is for Gay Marriages, and a republican.