DOUBLE DREAM HANDS

This video is taking my office by storm. We're all learning the moves so we can debut them tomorrow at the holiday party.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Obamacare hit a snag when a judge in VA declared the part of the bill, which requires that people buy health insurance by 2014 or get fined, unconstitutional (did i put the comma in the right place? it doesn't feel right). I'm a fan of Obamacare because it allowed someone close to me get insurance AFTER being diagnosed with cancer. What a lifesaver! I wonder how this will impact everything.
• The Bank of America is having their own version of Black Friday with their sale of over $1 Billion "Toxic Mortgages." Got an extra $20k laying around? Thought so. Buy some property, son.
• Scientists believe they have found evidence of other Universes while studying the echos of the Big Bang (the echo of the Big Bang is a fairly new theory that suggests that the universe is like a Russian doll that's constantly beginning and ending). Scientists think that our universe is a bubble inside a larger body... think of it like when you make bubbles with your drool and some bubbles are inside other bubbles and etc. Each bubble is a universe. It's a lot to take in, so read this.
• A new species of Lemur (Fork Lemur) was discovered in Madagascar and it's impossibly cute. I don't understand how Lemurs are primates. They look more raccoon to me. Can I get a second opinion on this please?
• Want some birth defects to make your own Geek Love-style army of circus jerks? Good news: Chernobyl will now be welcoming tourists to their site in 2011.
• A French teen held 20 nursery school children and their teacher hostage with swords. Nobody was injured. French teens are getting as fucked up as American ones. Well done!
• Scientists are doing some pretty amazing things with stem cells like turning them into pancreatic tissue and complex layers of intestinal tissue. Could this mean that pancreatic cancer might one day no longer be as deadly as it is now? Let's pray. They're also doing some great stuff for diabetes... which, is estimated to afflict 1/2 of all Americans in the next 40 years.
• A South Korean fishing boat sunk in the waters near Antarctica and miraculously, 20 people survived. Nobody knows why it sank. I'm hoping it has nothing to do with North Korea because I am not dressed for a nuclear war.
• It appears as though Leonardo Da Vinci hid some letters and numbers in the eyes of the Mona Lisa! That man... always a trick up his sleeve.
• A&P is filing for Chapter 11. This plus the fact that food prices are about to sky-rocket makes me think it's time to make a little garden in my apartment. Maybe i should be doing a better job of getting people to buy things they don't know they need?
• A Dutch man has been arrested on suspicion of abusing up to 33 children under the age of 4 while working at a nursery and baby sitter. I'm against the death penalty (however I would probably kill someone with my tiny bare hands if they killed someone I love), but this case really seems like a great contender for capital punishment. Dude ruined tons of kids' lives. Disgusting.
• The Netherlands is popping today -- a Dutch teen has been arrested as a suspect in the pro-Wikileaks hacking fiasco. Dude deserves a job at Google.

CIRCUS TIME!

Over the summer a bunch of friends went to the circus in Coney Island and invited me and my friend Charles to come. As Charles and I walked down the corridor through the subway station at CI I spotted a poster for the circus we were about to see. "Dude," I said to Charles, "there's animals in this circus. I don't know how I feel about that." Charles didn't like it either, and we opted out, waiting on the beach until our friends go out.

Which is why I'm excited about the Rock & Roll Circus Party at Lincoln Center... instead of using animals for my entertainment, it looks like they'll be using bands. Same diff. Who's gonna take me? I'm a super fun date and I look like a chimp, so you wont be missing out on animals completely.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Today's a good day for minorities: Looks like America is making good on land we stole and lives we ruined: Obama just signed a law to pay back monies owed to Native American for royalties dating back to 1887! As well as Black farmers who had been shut out of government aid.
• And in a really amazing move, The Dream Act was also signed. This act would allow any individual who came into the USA illegally under the age of 16, who completed high school and 2 years of college and/or military service, to receive citizenship. A truly remarkable move that demonstrates the ability for people to access what's left of the "American Dream."
• This is an interesting article about how Twitter is becoming the an awesome tool for dissidents. Wanna know who is on the target list for supporters of Wikileaks and humanity in general? This piece will let you know.
• A man imprisoned in Guatemala has some really really really great friends: 15 men stormed the prison he was in for murder and got him out. They also killed two people in the process.
• Stop pointing laser pointers at planes as they fly overhead. Those things are strong and the pilots are getting distracted.
• Apparently the job market is on an upswing. I call bullshit.

IT'S FUN TO DO BAD THINGS

Never forget.



thanks gawker commenter for reminding me how great this video is.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Despite Julian Assange of Wikileaks being in prison for crimes that he may or may not have committed, the Wikileaks continue to flow. In today's edition of How the World Burns, we find out about a Saudi Prince and his Halloween party packed with Moonshine and hookers. Meanwhile, the Anonymous group has managed to bring down the Mastercard website and others that cut off Assange from his resources. Also, Australia is totally blaming the US for their golden child. Meanwhile, Joe Lieberman needs to chill.
• Chile is going to have to answer a few questions: a fire at a Chilean prison killed 81 inmates and apparently the prison guards locked down the facility making it hard for firefighters to reach the source of the blaze.
• A new species of stork has been found on Hobbit island in Indonesia. Giant birds and Tiny People... this sounds like the making of a sitcom if you ask me.
• Obama held onto Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthy. Obama is claiming its to keep things moving along so the economy doesn't get effed. The Democrats are like WTF?!?! And Jim Hensen's Muppet factory have halted production of the Obama character since he's already a puppet.
• Speaking of Bush-era garbage: Cheney is in hot water with the Nigers.
• Scientists have identified an altered gene that can cause gender misidentification. I don't mean like, girls who wanna be boys or vice versa... I mean, girls with clits that look like dicks.
• China's buddies wont attend the Nobel Prize ceremony since an imprisoned Chinese citizen is a winner.
• A teen suicide bomber kills nearly 20 in Pakistan.
• An advisor to the Chinese Central Bank says that the US economy is in the shitter - even worse than Europe's - but nobody will notice for another year. If you're into currency trading, buy the dollar now, sell in 3 months. Then buy the euro. I could be wrong, but that seems right. Jim Rogers says that the Fed is really really really understating inflation.
• Remember Haiti? Their capital is up in a blaze due to riots over the Presidential elections. I hate to say it, but they're kind of fucked right now, aren't they?
• A Japanese space craft failed to get into Venus' orbit and may have flown past the planet. Get it together, Japanese scientists.

HAVE YOU HEARD?: MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

I went to see My Chemical Romance last week at Roseland -- one of the best shows I've ever seen -- and the band played a song that I totally thought was Glasvegas and even tweeted that they were covering a Glasvegas song.

It was this one, which i can't embed, boo, but i'm purposely using a live version of the song because the recorded version doesn't have that Glaswegian vibe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1WXwMQgCqM

Does it sound like Glasvegas? If so, which one? I can't put my finger on it. Or is it the Temper Trap?

Either way, i'm not hating. I love that they're pulling that sort of influence! LOVE IT.

MONDAY FUNDAY

Some terribly addictive and sort of awful but genius songs / videos to share:

Thanks to Matt Rubano for this:

Thanks to Lawrence and Stef for this one:

HAVE YOU HEARD?: JJ72

JJ72 doesn't exist anymore, but when they did... they stole my heart. I always heard them as the delightful mixture of Placebo, Muse, Smashing Pumpkins and Joy Division. I loved the dynamics of Mark Greaney's voice so much that I wanted to crawl inside his skin and wear it as my own. I also thought he was the hottest thing on earth with weird teeth and Ian Curtis' face (only outdone by his drummer who looked even more like Ian Curtis than Ian Curtis). Oh, and they covered Pet Shop Boys... so, you know, fate and shit.

The first time I heard The Joy Formidable I told friends how much they reminded me of JJ72, and most people looked at me puzzled, except for my friend Johnny (a fellow Irishman just like JJ72). When I asked Johnny if he'd heard of TJF he said no. When I told him to check them out because they reminded me of JJ72, he said "Oh wait! I saw them play and said to my friends that they sounded like a female fronted JJ72."

I wish I had lots and lots of money so i could find my favorite bands from years ago that are no longer together and ask them politely to regroup and play a show for me and my friends and people who love them. JJ72 would probably headline.

Here are my favorite JJ72 songs. Please listen to them LOUDLY and enjoy.

Here are a bunch of their videos:

Here are my reasons for picking each song:

"Formulae" - If you combined all the best parts of JJ72 songs into one track, this would be the one. Mark's angelic voice turning into a manic wail mixed with pixies-style song structures basically equals my heaven.

"Serpent Sky" - the bassline in this song is like sex. it's like having the biggest dong and knowing exactly what to do with it.

"I Saw a Prayer" - this track, from JJ72's second album takes things down a notch. more dreamy and romantic. Very Joy Formidable.

"Nameless" - a ballad from their second album. a total win.

"Snow" - I think this was the first JJ72 song I ever heard. I found out about them because they were opening for Muse in Europe so I went to their website and waited for 30 minutes for the video for this song to load so i could watch it. I waited another 30 minutes so i could watch it again. This was in 2000. The web was slow back then. The lyrics are entirely silly but wonderful all at once.

"October Swimmer" - Actually, maybe this was the first JJ72 song I ever heard. The lyrics are as weird as their name and the chorus soars in ways that would make Matt Bellamy totes jealz.

"Bumble Bee" - This song is a total Nirvana jerkoff fest and it's amazing.

"Not Like You" - Cutesy ballad that would be great on a christmas mix tape.

"Improv" - JJ72's most pared down song. shows how great Mark's voice is.

"Oxygen" - this song is HOT. was one of the first songs i'd ever heard by JJ72. i remember seeing the bassist in the video for this song and instantly crushing on her.

"It's a Sin" - obviously Pet Shop Boys are one of the greatest bands of all time and JJ72 agrees and did this awesome cover.

"Algeria" - this song was on the first album and was a perfect little window to what their 2nd album would become. fucking huge and epic and over the motherfucking top. i wish the last line before the chorus was "guide me through the chorus" instead of "guide me through the colors." that's my only complaint about jj72 ever.

THE MOST RACIST COMMERCIAL EVER

The most racist commercial ever made me laugh out loud, very loudly. I love race relations almost as I love kicking puppies and punching kittens.

FRIDAY FUNDAY

My friend Steven Klavier sent me this gem ages ago and it never gets old. Ever. Bonus points for including one of my all time favorite songs "Some Velvet Morning."

HAVE YOU HEARD?: THE JOY FORMIDABLE ACOUSTIC

Major thanks to my friend Peter Gaston at SPIN.com for sending this over to me... not only did he introduce me to the Joy Formidable, but he also keeps me utterly satiated with their music.

Go to SPIN.com to hear The Joy Formidable play acoustic versions of "Austere," "I Don't Want To See You Like This," and a cover of Passion Pit's "Moth's Wings."

HAVE YOU HEARD?: THE REFUSED

They're no longer around, but this song and video are classic. It makes me want to pump my fist into people's faces.

KEYWORDS

I've noticed that people have been finding their way onto my blog by searching certain terms, so I figured I'd help out those trying to find answers. Here are the terms people looked up in the past 24 hours to find this blog.

• stolen transmission: that's a record label i used to run with Rob Stevenson. it started out as a singles label in my bedroom where me and my friends would make handmade CD singles that looked amazing. In this phase I released singles by: The Oohlas, Louis XIV, Nightmare of You, The Spinto Band, Apartment, Saints & Lovers, and Young Love. Rob and I partnered up (he guided me along the whole time leading up to the partnership) and made Stolen Transmission a joint venture with Island/DefJam. Our partnership lasted 2 years until Rob was ... fired (?). Via Island/DefJam we released albums from: The Horrors, The Oohlas, Bright Light Fever, The Photo Atlas, innerpartysystem, Schoolyard Heroes, PlayRadioPlay, Monty Are I, and Permanent Me.
• Ultragrrrl/Ultragrrl/Sarah Lewitinn/Ultragirl/dj ultragrrrl: That's Me! You should also check out my wikipedia page or my DJ Press page.
• "2 chicks 1 dick" pornstars site:blogspot.com: i have NO IDEA what this means.
• dave maresca: i went to middle school and high school with dave in Tenafly, NJ. He was great and had awesome taste in music. Here is his facebook.
• blogsot joy division singles: yes, spelled incorrectly, but that's ok. you landed here. What exactly are you looking for?
• boyfriend is a genius: it's true. they all were genius. all of them. i'm totally serious. one was a musical genius. another a writing genius. and the most recent is a master of many hidden talents.
• brandon flowers wyatt: Wyatt Boswell is Brandon Flowers' best friend from growing up in Utah. He is super goodlooking and happens to be one of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever known. He isn't stoked when i post his photo online, but i will. This is him.
• chris black done to death: chris is one of my most favorite people on earth. he is the coolest motherfucker i've ever known. I used to get in trouble at Stolen Transmission because nearly every expense i turned in was me taking Chris Black out when he was in NYC. Now he lives across the street from me and i don't see him as much as I'd like. Here is his Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr. He managed to make a living by being cool, and i gotta say: he deserves that. He also manages Cartel and U.S. Royalty.
• innerpartysystem stoya: You're looking for their video for "this empty love" ... the video was directed/shot by Penta. here it is.
• little boy fuck / little.boys.fucking: i have no idea why someone would search this and find themselves on my blog.
• park city resort discount sledding/park city sledding/park city sleading: i went to park city with the Misshapes and The Horrors one year for that film festival. it was so much fun. One night Leigh and Geo got an inflatable bed and brought it outside and we went sledding down a hill with it. that was so much fun. Here are videos of us sledding.
• sarah lewitinn the ultragrrrl report: i used to cohost a show on FUSE called "FUSE on Tour" and I had a segment called "The Ultragrrrl Report." I don't think there are clips up, but there's a blog i used to do on the fuse site.
• songs from life's a zoo: no idea... but i did go to the zoo once with my ex boyfriend (both david and brandon) and i think i titled the blog entry "life's a zoo."
• team facelift blogspot: here's where i write about Team Facelift.
• teen fuck: no idea.
• thanksgiving dinner music: i dont have a list available, but i'm sure i can find one or make one.
• this is sooo boring: i know, right?
• ultra girl sxsw: i go there almost every year and try to throw a party each time. once was at the Redbull Space and the other was at Ben Brown's house and Idlewild played in his living room and i'm jealous of myself for that.
• while you were sleeping sarah blog: more of that column here.
• wyatt, ultragrrrl: I love Wyatt. I met him in 2003 with KarenPlusOne when we had dinner with the Killers their first time in NYC. I thought he was cute and the funniest dude. Brandon Flowers wanted us to get married. The two of them call me Jew. Wyatt is one of my "platonic boyfriends." What is that? That's a dude that you go everywhere with and share a bed with and spoon with but never make out or anything. It's like being married, sorta.

And lastly, these terms get the MOST traffic to my blog:

best animated gif

best animated .gif

best gif ever

greatest animated gif

They all lead to this photo:

But here are more:

THIS IS FOREVER

I used to love this At The Drive-In song "Napoleon Solo" so fucking much.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

So much news to report. I hope I can get this done in a timely manner. Happy(?) AIDS day, by the way.

• The biggest news ever, in the whole world -- so big that it's out of this world: NASA is holding a press conference tomorrow at 2pm about an "Astrobiology discovery." In other words: They probably found life on other planets. HOLLUR! To watch the conference at 2pm tomorrow go here.
• The estimates are in and it looks like $1Billion was spent on Cyber Monday, making it the biggest ever. Maybe they should consider having a Cyber Monday midyear as well? Maybe people spending money before their Jobless Benefits end today.
• Over 100,000 people apply for 1,000 available positions as flight attendants for Delta -- making it one of the most popular job searches since American Idol. Either that, or a lot of people love inflatable slides.
• Bank Of America got some special treatment since the taxpayers were supporting it's ass. Basically, they hid the fact that they gave $6BILLION in bonuses to Merrill Lynch employees before acquiring ML ... and then, when they were caught for being sneaky, they only had to pay $150 Million to settle a securities law violation. Bogus.
• Speaking of bogus bullshit - the average American might have to pay an extra $1600 in taxes due to the shit economy. Thanks Bank of America! I wont be too upset if B0A are the next wikileak victims.
• Speaking of wikileaks... Assange, the man behind the leaks, is on Interpol's most wanted list, but not on Interpol's guestlist.
• Looks like the Egyptian elections were rigged this year (and every other?).
• North Korea and South Korea are still fighting it out. SK said that NK is totally gonna pull their earring out and cut them with a razor they hid in their mouth. Everyone just wants them to get it over with.
• Another day, another incident of the TSA being total d-bags. A woman in a wheelchair went through security in a bra and panties so she wouldn't get felt up and violated (again). The TSA agents weren't pleased and made her miss her flight. Americans: 0, Terrorists: 1000.
• Speaking of Terrorists... our environmental terrorizing government decided to give the coast of Florida a break and ban offshore drilling for another 7 years. Horay.
• Don't Ask, Don't Tell is still up in the air. Nobody can decide what the report the Pentagon just released means exactly. So uh... if anyone can essplain it to me, that'd be great. It's ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING that there isn't a screening for the mental capacity of soldiers but there is one for their sexual orientation. You can't bang someone of the same sex but you can kill innocent civilians FOR SPORT BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING LUNATIC. So gross.
• Russia is working with America in finalizing an agreement on Russian baby adoptions after an American woman ruined it for the rest of the world by returning her adopted Russian kid by buying him a one way ticket to Moscow and having him board a plane alone with a receipt.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• Good news for all of you who like bad news: North Korea is saying that South Korea's actions are driving the peninsula to the "brink of war."NK is like that boyfriend that says his girlfriend made him hit her. Obama vowed to defend South Korea if North Korea tries anything more. This has potential to be so fucking shitty for everyone.
• An Indonesian cleric has been jailed for marrying a 12 year old girl. He said he was gonna wait til she hit puberty before banging his bride ... I'm not sure why he couldn't just wait until puberty to marry her. On top of that, he also stated that he was planning on marrying two other girls, aged 7 and 9 (Muslims are allowed up to 4 wives in Indonesia). In case you were wondering, the childbride was delivered back to her parents by cops immediately following the wedding -- not sure why they weren't arrested as well.
• Speaking of child molesting priests, a priest who was accused of molesting a kid managed to prove that he's a super scumbag by hiring a undercover agent as a hitman to kill the kid he molested. Way to be Holy, asshole.
• The 29 miners that were trapped in the New Zealand mine are presumed dead following a second explosion. Why are mines suddenly in the news so much? Have they been this disastrous in the past, or is this a new phenom?
• San Francisco is filled with geniuses: they're regulating their Happy Meals. Now, in order for a McDonalds in SF to offer happy meals with toys, they have to meet certain dietary standards. There's hopes that this will help fight childhood obesity and that other cities will follow suit.
• Fans have been lined up at a Barnes & Nobel in Phoenix since 1am for a Sarah Palin book signing. Mark my words: She is going to run for President in 2012, and she is going to win. Do I want her to? No. But she will. She's doing everything right. She knows that popularity wins and she's working on spinning every aspect of her life to make her popular.
• It looks like things like the interwebs is making insider trading more and more gray.
• Facebook just won the trademark on the word FACE. Face. FACE!?
• SpaceX, the first commercial-based company has been granted permission to have their spacecraft return to earth after leaving it.
• This Sunday "60 Minutes" will be taking an inside look on the new Spiderman musical that Bono wrote. It's the most expensive musical ever and it just so happens to have one of my best friends in it! Mazel Tov, Mat Devine!!!
• Cookie Monster wants to be on SNL. This isn't newsworthy, but I figured that it's a light hearted thing that can be used to change the topic when things get heavy or heated during Thanksgiving dinner.
• Kuwait is looking to ban the use of digital cameras in public by anyone who isn't an accredited journalist.
• In Israel you are required to do about 2 years in the army, no matter what. I've found that this has toughened up a lot of Israeli's that I know and given them a "no bullshit" attitude that can sometimes be seen as abrasive. Obviously, some Israeli citizens have no interest in being in the army -- especially with things being so tense. But, being the industrious people that they are, the Israeli government is now using Facebook to track down draft dodgers. Way to go, Facebook, way to go.

DEDICATION

This guy likes Joy Division more than I do... at least I hope he does.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

We are so fucked.

• North Korea struck South Korea overnight. The North claims the South struck first, the South claims otherwise... and basically EVERY SINGLE SUPER POWER NATION IS REALLY FUCKING SCARED (a history of the conflict between North and South is here). People are scared that if the North and South start fighting, it will cause each region's ally to step in and do what ally's do: join in. North Korea's (basically only) ally is China. South Korea's ally is the United States. China and the USA are already comparing dick sizes, and neither country really wants to pull their balls out. Everyone is basically saying that that North is acting like a bunch of assholes. Russia sees this as a "colossal danger" and Obama is "outraged."And the French are like "zoot alors!" and have already surrendered.

  From CNBC: Asked about the North's motives, Pentagon Press Secretary Geoff Morrell said: "I don't know. This is an extremely unpredictable government in Pyongyang and they do things that you could not possibly have predicted in a rational world."

  Meanwhile:

  North Korea threatened to continue "merciless" strikes on South Korea on Tuesday after the communist state launched a deadly artillery attack across their western sea border.

• Speaking of China, looks like they're the leading cause of Greenhouse Gas emissions. Way to go, dudes.
• The death toll for the Cambodian stampede has raised to 345. The stampede occurred at a Water Festival -- a yearly celebration of a military victory which includes boat races and prayer for rain -- and has been considered one of the biggest tragedies to hit the country. A reporter claims that panic struck when a suspension bridge started to say and police started shooting water cannons at a bridge in an effort to get people to move in a certain direction.
• SOME GOOD NEWS!: The UN stated that the world AIDS crisis is starting to slow down! And not only that, but there appears to be a daily pill dosage that helps gay men not catch HIV! It's still undetermined how it will work with heterosexuals, but it's proven to work nicely for the gays! Horay!
• Unfortunately, we're trading one preventable disease for another: looks like half of Americans will have diabetes by 2020. Stay away from high fructose corn syrup, people.
• More TSA bullshit ... it might extend to trains and subways. Meanwhile, people are raising concern about the TSA spreading diseases because they're not changing their latex gloves before each crotch gram. The terrorists have won.

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

• As we approach Thanksgiving and all the travel that comes with it, the TSA continues to impose their version of the Milgram Experiment on the public. I'm sorry, but some of them are total fucking assholes. Especially, the ones who refuse to listen to and adjust their procedures when dealing with passengers who have medical issues, like the poor bladder cancer survivor whose pat down lead to him being soaked in urine from his urostomy bag. If I ever see a TSA agent mishandle either of my parents, there will be words. And it wont be words-with-friends. Sorry to go personal, but I am just disgusted. I'm quite happy I wont have to go to O'Hare where the airport security line is about a mile long. The TSA better rethink their procedures like they suggest they might. By the way, all this because of Al Qaeda's affordable and effective scare tactics. We've lost the war on terrorism.
• Sometimes, the people hired to drive nuclear weapons across the country, get drunk. The government is doing an investigation to make sure they weren't ... you know, wasted on the job.
• Hallelujah! The Pope has finally stated that the Vatican's stance on condom banning is not absolute and should be used in cases like encountering a male prostitute (a euphemism for choir boy?).
• Sadly, 29 New Zealand miners are stuck in a mine and the outlook is not too good. Meanwhile, 29 miners in a flooded China mine were successfully rescued after 30 hours.
• A report lead by the Pentagon regarding what the effects might be on lifting the ban on gays in the military is set to be released on November 30. I'm looking forward to their research on banning psychopaths.
• A suspected Nazi war criminal died before being tried. I think he may have been guilty.
• Ireland is getting a bailout. What does this mean? And how will this work? If you plan on going to a country using the Euro, you might be in luck since the USD is looking decent in comparison with exchange rates.
• And China is telling people not to worry about inflation. Fingers and toes crossed, but not likely. The dollar is going to be worth nothing.